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Post by Cali on Jun 25, 2009 18:15:48 GMT 1
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Post by Rascarin on Jul 6, 2009 0:33:29 GMT 1
I wroted another poem. Here is the link if you care to review it, or you can just read it here: With contrite heart come’st I, Dear kin, thy pardon for to sue Yet no more can’st I deny Mine self, nor live mine life untrue Tis not a choice I make, Lord knows, but battle fought and lost Though thy love I may forsake I need depart, remiss the cost Now, bid’st thou me adieu, Weep not, nor look with wrathful eye Nor mine heart with guilt run through And cast not blame ‘pon thou or I Abhor me not, I plead Forgive, and curse thou not my name But from thee I must secede I can no longer live in shame There it is. I don't intend to explain it.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jul 6, 2009 7:58:30 GMT 1
I like that. Emotive and very well-written. Will do a proper review when I have time.
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Post by Tillian Panthesis on Jul 6, 2009 8:20:01 GMT 1
Very nice. Well written and I like how you put the words together have some sort of lyrical flow.
I'll do a proper review on your profile once my mind is not in a cynical critic mode.
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Post by Rascarin on Jul 20, 2009 22:01:48 GMT 1
Another from me, once again fraught with personal issues. Link is ( here) if you want to review, or just read it here: TiredTired Tired of feeling Tired of feeling sad
Tired of hiding Tired of heartbreak Tired of hidden hurt
Tired of tears Tired of lonely Tired of crying alone
Tired of listening Tired of fighting Tired of hearing fights
Tired of life Tired of lying Tired of living a lie
Tired of disappointment Tired of hoping Tired of broken hope
Tired of prayer Tired of silence Tired of praying to nothing
God, I’m tired I’m tired of feeling I’m tired of feeling sad
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Post by Mister Buch on Jul 20, 2009 23:14:00 GMT 1
Nice one Chief. Man. I look forward to the day when good things start happening to you. --
Here's the wasp poem again. Yeah I'm an egomanic, but this seems like a better place for it.
--
The Wasp on the Window
he beats flaps of film
No more than discarded flakes of skin to Him
More advanced
Who fumbles with his ability to fly
And brushes breadcrumbs from fat lips
-
He backs away
As if that tiny blunted point of abdomen
Could wound
This other with eyes larger than his self
In subtle, soft, insidious colours
-
The bastard takes mysteries for granted, guttering
Loud, slow nonsense over sputtering
Helpless scrabbling on invisible surface
Reflective, while he watches perfect
he waits
-
and watches the fuck
Legs moving like His tools to prime
Mechanical
Lifts to elevate him away
If He tries to crush his fragile shell
-
If He tries then weak venom strikes, spikes
Spills his mind and fills his pike
He moves in faster planes, HE flies
He cannot fly HE can fly HE will fly know why
HE’ll kill
-
A move is made, and HE backs back a bit
To the strange safety of confounding surface, flits
Into air
Unsweetened by jam and sweat and mammal
he escapes, transgressing transfixing panel
-
Tomorrow it will happen again
He dares to take his air
And offer His sandwich
He is complacent and
HE is terrified
-
Tomorrow HE’LL kill HIM
He’s more scared of Him than he is of HIM
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Post by Rascarin on Jul 20, 2009 23:16:59 GMT 1
Thanks for the feedback And me too. It'd be nice to write a happy poem, I think.
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Post by Mister Buch on Aug 25, 2009 13:39:29 GMT 1
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Post by Mister Buch on Sept 11, 2009 0:08:41 GMT 1
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Post by Zarsthor on Sept 11, 2009 4:12:56 GMT 1
whats a gorram?
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Post by Mister Buch on Sept 11, 2009 10:46:52 GMT 1
Gorram is just like 'goddamn', but it rolls off the tongue better. As in, "They followed us! Gorram Reavers followed us!"
It's a made up curse word they used in the TV show 'Firefly'.
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Post by Zarsthor on Sept 11, 2009 11:07:12 GMT 1
lol Thats awesome in a wild west kind of way. lol
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Post by Mister Buch on Sept 11, 2009 11:23:28 GMT 1
That's what is was all about. If you haven't seen the show, it's basically a Western in space. Bunch of lovable outlaws on a little spaceship, some of whom were soldiers on the losing side of what is clearly the American Civil War dressed up.
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Post by Zarsthor on Sept 11, 2009 13:01:11 GMT 1
Buch ... I think everybody knows about Firefly and how much the companies fucked them over and canceled the show not even letting them complete the season. That show was god. lol I remember seeing the movie in cinema with my sister. Dan and I have been planning to have a Firefly marathon for the last year but we haven't got around to it.
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Post by Mister Buch on Sept 11, 2009 14:21:27 GMT 1
Bah. I figured you weren't familiar with Firefly. I was surprised though!
It IS God. Easily my favourite sci-fi TV show. I too remember watching the movie, expecting it to be tolerable, and just being blown away by how good it was.
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