|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 5, 2013 0:14:49 GMT 1
I had it so each goblin has a different accent, the first goblin they came across was so Irish he was green...well gobbo's are green. Anyways, im sticking with the French gobbo in this one. As for spelling...yeah, im gonna work on that. Yeah I noticed this one was a bit lame....have half a mind to scrap it.
|
|
|
Post by Mister Buch on Jan 6, 2013 4:44:57 GMT 1
Catching up on two chapters...!
The French and Irish goblins cracked me up, first of all. 'Fook that noise'. xD And secondly, is Buch in love with Gorvar here? Does he love a lizardman? I certainly wouldn't put it past him.
I'm touched that you included my idea to make a character from the solid wood kitchen salesman, by the way! And I loved the reveal of him speaking to the all simultaneously and the scene kind of working backwards. When I got it, I was like, 'Ooohhhhhhh!' That must have been a bugger to write.
And raptors. I can't say I'm completely surprised by this development. xD
One more thing - I really like the decision to have the narrator be so flippant and conversational sometimes. 'Oh, an a kraken attacked'. Like it's being told around a campfire or a game table. Creates a nice feeling as well as the gags.
|
|
|
Post by Mister Buch on Jan 6, 2013 4:47:09 GMT 1
I hadn't read the last bit.
Axe Cop.
Exalt!
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 6, 2013 10:51:48 GMT 1
Thanks for the read Buch! As for your character being in love with mine...they are close, it's a guy love kind of thing. Bit more then bromance. Also just noticed you changed to Puppet brothers senior! Awesome.
The Merchant I enjoyed writing, it was like Momento of sorts. It was an experiment I enjoyed doing, might dabble into it some more later. it was a lot of copy:paste really haha.
The narrarator is pretty much a storyteller. During my bachelor in England i was told of but also praised for my conversational narrative tone on my essays. So im sticking to my guns there. I can reveal a little bit about the identity of the narrarator...he or she is involved in the story itself. All i'm saying.
And yes, Axe Cop...i had to do it. inspiration struck me like a axe to my head. Was laughing my ass off as well!
|
|
|
Post by Cali on Jan 8, 2013 0:07:18 GMT 1
I hope the Belgium still has some sort of limited monarchy, because I'm going to send letter after letter demanding Gorvar be betrothed and anointed as a Duke or Marquees. Keep it up, man.
|
|
|
Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Jan 8, 2013 0:13:08 GMT 1
I hope the Belgium still has some sort of limited monarchy, because I'm going to send letter after letter demanding Gorvar be betrothed and anointed as a Duke or Marquees. Keep it up, man. Betrothed to whom, though? *raises an eyebrow* He already has a girlfriend...
|
|
|
Post by Cali on Jan 8, 2013 0:19:55 GMT 1
Back in the medieval times, "bethrothed" could also mean being declared as part of the family if they liked you enough, legally and officially. Kind of like getting "made" in the Italian/Sicilian mafia.
Besides, isn't Gorvar's girlfriend some Belgian princess anyway?
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 8, 2013 0:26:29 GMT 1
English actually! And Belgium;s first king was Queen Victoria's uncle so there. Then again my girl isnt a royalist so...could be tricky, then then again she likes titles so But im glad you like this dudes! Seriously, wow...i dont think my Mass Effect fanfics got this many reviews.
|
|
|
Post by Mister Buch on Jan 8, 2013 0:41:58 GMT 1
Yeah but this one has us!
Really though, theres more than that novelty, and I like how you've added drama and action and now serious, proper adventure to it. It's well structured, too - I just noticed how this one sets up future events with these haf-reveals. Really cool, very professional pacing. Which is extra impressive considering you're writing this down pretty fast.
And that bit about 'Were badasses' - that was very cool. I feel like Tony Stark threatening Loki over here. ;D
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 8, 2013 0:55:30 GMT 1
I did actually type down "We have an Gorvar" But I dont want my character to be in the limelight to much. it's a group story after all, heh. in hindsight I should've tped "We have a dwarf". Yeah I can make up storyline's on to go rather fast. I have the big ideas tied down and the adventure is how I connect those dots. im having way to much fun with these....
|
|
|
Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Jan 8, 2013 2:02:30 GMT 1
Back in the medieval times, "bethrothed" could also mean being declared as part of the family if they liked you enough, legally and officially. Kind of like getting "made" in the Italian/Sicilian mafia. I leave this here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betrothed#Betrothal. I read that article after seeing your post, and I see no other definition aside from marriages / engagements. Sorry for my confusion...? Besides, isn't Gorvar's girlfriend some Belgian princess anyway? I know she is English, not Belgian - hence why Gorvar (sadly) is not able to see her for long periods of time (poor Gorvar and Gorvar's Lady ) since she is in England while he is in Belgium. English princess, per-maybe-haps... ;D
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 8, 2013 10:52:30 GMT 1
Okay, all of you guys changing your avatars because of me? You are AWESOME.
It's a bit sad yeah, but me and my girl keep in touch every day which i'm grateful for.
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 8, 2013 23:22:12 GMT 1
Posted a character list and such and modified it to the story which actually changed from what I intended. I'll post the next chapter tommorow, or the day after. At least before Half Like 2 Episode 3 comes out.
|
|
|
Post by herrwozzeck on Jan 9, 2013 0:53:33 GMT 1
And can you believe I only just noticed this? *headdesk* I can be so crazily unobservant it's hilarious. Anyway, I got all the way through in one sitting. And I found myself laughing the whole way through. The characters are all how I'd expect them to be (except for one exception whom I will not name here), and it's clever all the ways that stuff unfolds. And yeah, I'm interested in seeing where it goes. If there's one complaint I would have to make, though... I didn't like getting blown up to kill a kraken.
|
|
|
Post by Cali on Jan 9, 2013 5:01:22 GMT 1
Yeah, yeah, I know. I too am aware I would make an even worse king than I was in the story, Herr.
|
|