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Post by Cali on Jul 24, 2013 0:43:01 GMT 1
Nick Fury Recruits the Driver
INT; A Los Angeles County gas station, a black S.H.I.E.L.D SUV pulls up under the onning, a single person (NICK FURY) stepping out. The operator does not bother to get gas, and instead drives off, leaving NICK FURY there. NICK steps inside, heading toward the slushie foundry and obtaining a medium sized cup to dump blue raspberry slush into it before stepping toward the counter and paying for his drink. He then goes back outside and sits on a bench near the lock-restrooms built into the side, sipping his slushie and savoring its artificial sugary contents. He checks his watch briefly.
CUT TO: A black 2011 Ford Mustang driving alongside the road, the engine, as well as "A Real Hero" by College and Electric Youth blasting from the speakers inside. The car pulls up to one of the pumps, a man (DRIVER) stepping out with a bloody lacerated stomach inflicted by BERNIE ROSE in the final scene. He limps toward the station store, passing Nick Fury.
NICK FURY: Mr. Driver. (Stands up while sipping his slushie, DRIVER completely passing him to enter the store). Hey wait just a goddamn minute!
(NICK FURY follows DRIVER around the store as he picks up gauze, bandages, twinkies, and bags of Ruffles and Cheez-Its, as well as a ton of energy drinks)
NICK FURY: My name is Nick Fury, I'm the chief of staff of Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division.
(DRIVER briefly looks at him for a moment, his gaze, both quite seductive and very creepy peering into Nick Fury's one good eye. After a while, he goes to the checkout lane and pays for his stuff. NICK FURY walks DRIVER back to his car as he patches himself up with both the supplies he bought and his automobile's handy first aid kit)
NICK FURY: Me and the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D have been keeping an eye on your activities and run ins with Los Angeles' Jewish and Albanian Mafias. Your superhuman ability to stay awake for days on end, patient during tense situations, and resourceful getaway driving during insurmountable odds have been noted. I should also mention your tendency to inexplicably attract a 1980's vibe everywhere you go. We have several Cold War and Reagan-era nostalgists in the agency, and having you around may improve morale. Also a ton of S.H.I.E.L.D's female staff asked me to relay a ton of marriage proposals they filed out, but I just had to decline for obvious and professional reasons.
DRIVER: Mhm.
NICK FURY: So, what do you say? You join S.H.I.E.L.D and you get a very discreet presidential pardon for all the charges against you.
DRIVER: Mhm?
(NICK FURY and DRIVER stare at each other for a bit, the former fairly irked by his silence and extreme apathy)
NICK FURY: Listen, why don't we go grab some grub or some shit, I can fill you in on who you're going to be working with. What do you say to O'Charleys or something? You like restaurants?
(A loooong pause as DRIVER scratches the back of his head and stares into the horizon a couple of times before he answers)
DRIVER: Yeah.
QUE: "A Real Hero" by College and Electric Youth CUT TO: The interior of the Ford Mustang. DRIVER is in the driver's seat, and NICK FURY is crunching on a Subway sandwich and bobbing his head with the music. All seems good as they cruise down the Los Angeles speedway, several landmarks in Downtown LA being shown by vehicle mounted camera. The music starts to slow down considerably as they enter a traffic jam, "A Real Hero" drooping to inaudibility. NICK FURY has a rather pissed off look on his face, though he places the sandwich back in its wrapper and faces DRIVER, who is very blankly staring to the taillights ahead and tapping his fingers along the steering wheel.
NICK FURY: So, this should give us an opportunity to talk more right?
DRIVER: (Looks toward NICK FURY and then back to traffic. He grabs a toothpick from the dashboard and places it in his mouth, rolling it along his tongue)
NICK FURY: So, uh, you have any desire to look through the file there? We can give you an immediate bank transfer whenever you need it, and a brand new car if you head down to SHIELD's headquarters whenever possible.
DRIVER: Mhm?
NICK FURY: Yeah, listen, you were completely silent the entire time at Subway, so... do you- do you ever fucking talk? Like... at all?
(There's a full three minute silence, the only thing audible are car horns and the whispering wind)
DRIVER: Yeah.
NICK FURY: GOD. DAMN. IT! (FURY steps opens the passenger door and walks away).
______________
DRIVER MAY OR MAY NOT RETURN IN THE AVENGERS 2
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Post by Mister Buch on Jul 24, 2013 0:55:22 GMT 1
Awesome. xD
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Post by CAPT Issac R. Madden on Jul 24, 2013 1:24:58 GMT 1
I've got dibs on doing one for Mike Thorton.
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Post by Clint Johnston on Jul 24, 2013 5:34:23 GMT 1
Linders - You and my sister are of the same evil ilk. How dare you betray the cleverness of Capra and Stewart?
I'm enjoying these. I'll probably come up with one right before someone else does the same thing.
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Post by Clint Johnston on Jul 24, 2013 5:38:13 GMT 1
Dibs on Frodo.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 24, 2013 8:22:36 GMT 1
Okay, Dora the Explorer or Mary Poppins?
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Post by jklinders on Jul 24, 2013 10:32:33 GMT 1
Linders - You and my sister are of the same evil ilk. How dare you betray the cleverness of Capra and Stewart? I'm enjoying these. I'll probably come up with one right before someone else does the same thing. Not just Stewart and Capra. A lot of the acting and actors, male and female just doesn't sit quite right with me. The attached piece I almost wrote is too off topic so I left it out. Suffice to say, I can't tell from the voice which actor is which, all the men seemed to sound heroic and virile, the women almost universally sound mousy and submissive. Stewart is actually one of the few from that era who sounds unique to me from voice alone. But for some reason his acting annoys me in other ways. OT. I might try to do one of these. That is neither a promise nor a threat depending on your outlook on my writing.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jul 24, 2013 12:09:08 GMT 1
Okay, Dora the Explorer or Mary Poppins? Both, you genius. And now, I get pretentious. The post-curtain call scene from HamletThe curtain opens to reveal HAMLET, draped over a chair in his private quarters, while NICK FURY, a soldier, watches over him. HAMLET stirs.FURY: Good morning, sweet Prince. Wakey wakey eggs and bakey. HAMLET: Are these my dreams of death? FURY: Nope. This is a job offer. And the results of doctor Banner's toxicology research. HAMLET (aside): If madness knows me then I know it not. In waking knew I nothing but my head. This moor most craven blinds what sense e'er lives in me and in the last fair Danish eye unspoil't unfolds disrupt'd pales of hell! My poisoned thoughts are yet in mind of strength as yet, as foul as life I'll watch his gaze and see what treachery this image spits upon this thirteenth hour of life unfit. FURY: I can still hear you over there. HAMLET: Thou art a spy most cunning- FURY: Yes, yes I am. See now you're making sense. My name is Nick Fury and I represent Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. HAMLET: Thou comest from Fortinbras? Or takes that place where death and nothing dull'd trick off the ear into the petal limbo of men's thoughts and burn too slow for death yet chance no love, takes this of men whose heads already pale and drags them down for tortur'd company? Is this thy fury, shield your torment here in some unfathom'd depths of hell with mine? Keep watch you on the clock that knows no- FURY: SHUT UP! HAMLET: How best to meet such blows to dulled tongues? FURY: Shut UP and for once in your life listen! You're not dead - we patched you up. The poison that entered your body was a relatively small dose and we acted fast. We had to take you out of Denmark, which is safely under King Fortinbras' watch. He's doing a great job by recent standards - he hasn't murdered anybody or driven anyone to suicide in two whole days. You'd be impressed. HAMLET: If not the country I thought ill-discover'd then where of strange creation sits our coven? FURY: I don't think you're ready for that just yet... HAMLET bolts upright and in a fit of madness grabs a curtain rail, attempting to stab FURY with it. The agent backs off, but HAMLET flees, tearing through the curiously weak structure of the Elizabethan home. Still running and not pausing for breath, he charges though sterile stainless-steel labs and offices until finally finding himself in a large warehouse with a double-door.HAMLET: A serpent's skin of sun drips though this way! Perchance the worship'd ancient light may say what dreams have come at last and why my soul infected gives not rest nor answers whole! He smashes through the door, into the bright daylight and the streets of modern-day New York City. He is amazed.HAMLET: I cannot- FURY calmly walks though the doors and towards HAMLET, keeping a respectable distance. HAMLET drops the curtain rail.FURY: I didn't want you to see this just yet. I have a lot of explaining to do. But first you need to trust me. HAMLET: The royal burden blade is from our hand. Thy life-stirred seared visage sees more than e'er my princely studied eyes did fail to grasp in my short act's play, waking on my stage. In most dizzied confusion now is't clear that at long last may yield a studious youth to some measure of living after death where fading skulls and ghosts hold less the truth than we still playing, we who hold a brace of visions fit through still unshielded face. FURY: Just what I was gonna say. HAMLET: I yield. My blade is spent. Dull tipp'd. FURY: Actually I hope not. Have you ever heard of the Avengers Initiative? HAMLET: Obviously not. FURY: Fair enough, good point. HAMLET, PRINCE OF DENMARK WILL RETURN IN THE AVENGERS 2!
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 24, 2013 12:23:54 GMT 1
YOU BRILLIANT MOTHERFUCKER!
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 24, 2013 13:01:57 GMT 1
Nick Fury recruits Mary Poppins.
Intro: MARY POPPINS is having a nice cup of tea near a children's playground as she watches two children play. As always her umbrella is by her side as is her traveling bag. Across of her a man in a black leather jacket takes his seat.
MARY: Hello, Nicolas. FURY: Miss Poppins, long time no see. MARY: Indeed, how have you been? FURY: I am alright thank you, yourself? MARY: You know me Nicolas, still up and about. A moment please. -puts her tea cup down and walks over to the children who are playing roughly- Jane, Micheal! Play nice or we are not going to feed the pigeons. Understood? Children; Yes Miss Poppins... MAry; Now run along and play now, spit spot.-smiles and gives a small clap which makes the children smile and go play- FURY; -sees her sit down- Still as passive aggresive as usual, I see. MARY: Children always play a little rough sometimes, they still need to find the line. I recall a certain naughty little boy who ran around wearing a silly wig shouting obscenities to see if I would give him a spanked bottom or not. FURY; It was an afro...
A attractive waitress comes in.
WAITRESS: Can I help you sir? FURY: Yes a coffee please, and another cup of tea for Miss Poppins? MARY: Yes please. FURY: -watches the Waitress go, looking at her behind- MARY: -rolls her eyes and hits him with her parrot umbrella- Kindly stop doing that, I thought I raised you better. FURY: Sorry Miss Poppins, I got carried away. MARY: So why did you come here Nicolas, last I checked the head of SHIELD mostly does not have time to have a chit-chat with his old nanny. FURY: True Miss Poppins...truth is, humanity needs you. -Nods at the waitress when she brings in the coffee- MAry: Really now? Thank you. -nods at the waitress and drinks her tea- FURY: We recieved word from our friends that Thanos is coming, and I dont think we can stop him. Not without you. MARY: Me? how can I stop this Mr Thanos? I am just a simple Nanny. Fury; Bullshi- MAry; -frowns- Fury; ...what i mean to say is, that is nonesense Miss Poppins. You are our only chance to save human-
CHITAURI Gliders fly by and begin attacking the playground. Jane and Micheal scream and run to Mary as Fury draws his gun and opens fire.
FURY: Get behind me, Miss Pop- MARY; Dont be absurd, hold please. -hands Fury her bag- Jane, Micheal. stay with Mr Fury please, I need to give that naughty boy up there a stern talking to. -walks over- Children: No, dont do it Mary Poppins! Fury; Dont worry kids, she got this.
An alien glider explodes the playground and the surroudning trees with evil glee. However the glee dissipates when MARY floats up to him with her umbrella.
MARY: Excuse me, would you mind stopping that? ALIEN: -looks at her dumb struck as she lands on his glider- MARY: Do you you know you are ruining the children's playground? Alien; Arg- MAry: Do you know that you are doing a lot of harm for no real reason. Alien; ...-nods, looking ashamed- MARY: Then appologize to these poor people and run along now. -floats back down as the alien glider flies off-
More gliders stay however and all prime their weapons at Mary Poppins.
MARY: I give you to the count of three gentlemen, and if you are not gone and stop acting foolish I will be very crossed. Alien; -prime weapons- MARY: One. ALIEN: -shout and race over- MARY: Two. ALIENS: -open fire on Mary Poppins-
MARY POPPINS unfolds her Umbrella and uses it to deflect the laser attacks. As the Glider fly past her, cackling madly, MARY looks very crosed. She holds out her umbrella as a large beam of light comes forth and burns the aliens, leaving nothing but cinders. Dissapointed she shakes her head and walks over to a dumbstruck Fury and her wards who look at her with their mouths wide open.
Mary: Mouth closed Micheal, you are not a fish. Child; -closes his mouth- MARY: Well it seems you were right Mr Fury. Very well, I will join this little group of yours. Ill be at your toy helicopter ship tommorow at 9 o'clock sharp, after I brought the children to school. FURY: I- MARY: Splendid. Now come along children, we have to go home now.
Mary Poppins walks off with the children, soon enough they begin singing "Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious".
FURY; -cannot help but smile and shake his head- Damn Miss Poppins, you still got it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary Poppins will return in the Avengers 2.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jul 24, 2013 14:13:30 GMT 1
We have a winner! Brilliant Gorvar.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 24, 2013 14:26:01 GMT 1
she's like a female Dr Who, except more nicely mannered.
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Post by Cali on Jul 24, 2013 19:52:01 GMT 1
Post Credits Scene From 'The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest'
INT; The interior of LIZBETH SALANDER's apartment building. LIZBETH is dressed in little more than a T-shirt as she's boiling Earl Grey/Red Bull tea as she gets on her laptop to check the front page of Wired.com or another website for computer dorks. There is a knock at her front door, firm and likely full of the inducer's body weight. LIZBETH looks up and grabs her jeans, slipping them on as she heads to the door. The door swings open before she has a chance to deadbolt it, startled, though keeping her cool, she backpaces a few steps as NICK FURY walks in quite nonchalantly, sipping a cup of coffee as he barely makes eye contact with LIZBETH, looking around her apartment.
NICK FURY: Damn, this Swedish joe ain't bad!
LIZBETH: (Charges and readies her taser) Vem fan är du?
FURY: Miss Salander, the name's Nick Fury, Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. I think you've hacked us a couple of times in the past.
LIZBETH: Oh, ja. (Recognizing Fury, she nods and places the taser back in her jeans pocket, heads over to her laptop, fiddles with a few things, seeing that NICK FURY is not facing the screen) Kontrollera din mobiltelefon?
FURY: What now? Oh my cell phone. (NICK FURY checks his phone to see that it's been hacked and his background has been changed to a picture of a man taking a massive dump into a bucket with NICK FURY's face photoshopped on the man in the picture) Yeah, yeah, thanks for that. (Puts the phone away). Listen, those stunts you pulled to get yourself outta that conspiracy was pretty well done, and SHIELD is looking for a logistics and hacking expert in a new initiative we're putting together. You know about it?
LIZBETH: Nej. Vad är det?
FURY: The initiative is known as the Avengers, we-
(FURY is interrupted by a noise coming from her bedroom)
FURY: Somebody stay the night? (He chuckles, sipping his coffee yet again)
LIZBETH: (Obviously lying) Nej.
FURY: Yeah, sure. Mikael, is that you? Get yo ass out here and let's talk about som-
(Emerging from the bedroom is ROONEY MARA as LIZBETH SALANDER, an embarrassed look on her face as NOOMI RAPACE as LIZBETH is quite in denial of the situation).
FURY: (Spitting out coffee) Aw shit! You all know what you've just done?!
ROONEY SALANDER: Nick Fury?! (Looks to NOOMI SALANDER) Why the fuck didn't you tell me he was coming today?
NOOMI SALANDER: (Irate) Kanske du ska börja läsa anteckningar på kylskåpet!
FURY: Both of you fucked up the entirety of the space time continuum in more ways than one! It's only a matter of time before-
(NICK FURY looks around the room, noticing the decor has changed. He runs toward the window and looks out to see that they are in an apartment on the planet NABOO during the celebration of their victory over the trade federation forces, he has a clear view of JAR JAR BINKS howling to the sun as BOSS NASS holds up the orb of peace. He quickly closes the curtains afterwards).
FURY: Motherfucker! It's already happening!
(FURY looks around to see that his vision has improved greatly, his eyepatch gone and both his eyes made whole, as well as a pair of thick rimmed spectacles over his eyes, and a cigarette billowing out of his mouth. NOOMI SALANDER is now dressed in a Weyland Yutani environment suit, and ROONEY SALANDER is wearing a Harvard hoodie. FURY looks down to see that he's also dressed in a short sleeved white dress shirt, dockers and dress shoes, with a lapel pin that reads "Hold on to your Butts". Most noticably was a Cybernetic Limb that replaced one of his arms).
NICK RAY FURY ARNOLD: Ohhhhhh SHIIIIIIII-
____________________
Lizbeth Salander and Lizbeth Salander will return in The Avengers 2, after technical difficulties are resolved.
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Post by Cali on Jul 24, 2013 20:30:33 GMT 1
Post Credits Scene from "Hard Boiled"
INT; A Hong Kong police station. Detective Sergeant TEQUILA YUEN hums a smooth jazz track as he heads toward his office, snapping his fingers with his free hand while he holds a bundle of police files in his other. He passes his pain in the ass Superintendent who once again throws a nod of congratulations for taking down the gun-running Triad organization run by JOHNNY WONG. As he heads through, he notices the door is slightly ajar (Suspenseful steel drum music que). TEQUILA drops the files, grasping his Colt Python as he peeks through the blinds, inside, catching faint movement inside.
- JUMP CUT -
to the interior of the office as TEQUILA dives through the doorway firing his gun at the source of movement at least seventeen times without running out of ammo. The windows in his office break from the gunfire, NICK FURY throwing a bookshelf in the way and running out of the room in a surprised panic. Early 90's snare drums and action movie music is at its height at the moment, NICK FURY running away as TEQUILA chases him down the hallway, several HKPD desk workers ducking out of the way or fleeing all together. NICK FURY pulls out his 9mm and fires behind him as he runs, TEQUILA dodging the rounds artfully. A Hong Kong policeman in uniform holds his pistol up to FURY as he tries to cut him off, FURY quickly headbutting him and taking his handgun, now firing his weapons akimbo at TEQUILA. They dance around the interior, glass shattering, fire alarms and sprinklers blaring for an extended period of time, until TEQUILA tackles FURY and they crash out the second story window of the police station, landing on a car and rolling off.
(Steel drum music que) TEQUILA rolls near FURY as he lies on his back, placing the barrel of the magnum to his forehead. TEQUILA twiddles a toothpick in his mouth, spitting it on NICK FURY before cocking back the hammer on his magnum revolver.
NICK FURY: Detective Tequila?
TEQUILA: (Sarcastically) Hi.
FURY: My name is Nick Fury, from Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division.
TEQUILA: (Decocking his magnum and standing up, holstering the weapon and rotating his shoulder a bit while stretching) You ever think about waiting outside my office and not barging in?
FURY: Well, I kinda had to see what the great Detective Tequila was capable of. (FURY sits up, broken glass clinking under him) Damn, I'm gonna be sore as shit tomorrow.
TEQUILA: Just who do you think you are, huh?! (Grasps FURY by the lapels and lifts him up, slamming his back against the side of a car a furious look in the hard boiled HKPD cop's eyes) Just because you're from SHIELD you think you can interrupt my day of comparing mugshots and listening to jazz?!
FURY: In case you didn't know I have a particular volume of authority in the known world, motherfuckah! (Shoves TEQUILA's hands off of him and dusts himself off) Hong Kong ain't exactly exempt from SHIELD's jurisdiction.
TEQUILA: Look at me, agent man! (Punches his finger into FURY's chest) Jurisdiction does not apply to events and operations regarding smooth jazz, guns with bottomless clips, smooth jazz, and ANYTHING I have to do with it, you understand?!
FURY: Do I look like I can roll over to some goddamn Hong Kong gumshoe? Know who you're talking to motherfucker! You haven't even asked why the hell I'm here, have you now?
TEQUILA: Who gives a damn, eh?! (Furious he spins around and paces, the broken glass cracking under his police dress shoes) Let me tell you something! There are restrooms on every floor, and maybe you should visit the john, seeing as you're so full of shit? OKAYYY?! (He points at him angrily and walks away)
FURY: (Is silent for a moment as he watches the cop storm out of the vicinity) You wanna join the Avengers?
TEQUILA: Yes dammit! Let me pack my things.
FURY: (Nodding a bit) O-kay. (Turns and heads the other direction)
_________________
Inspector "Tequila" Yuen will return in The Avengers 2
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 24, 2013 21:02:09 GMT 1
That...was fucking awesome. And to be honest, from the list we got so far...its a bad ass looking Avengers team.
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