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Post by Clint Johnston on Jan 4, 2011 5:25:44 GMT 1
Well I don't know where that Raym guy went, but here's chapter 10! Let me know what you think! P.S. Is there a proper way to have a favorite lines thread? From the whole series I mean. Maybe by private message for nominations? I don't know. Attachments:
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jraym16
Serviceman 3rd Class
I have transcended the need of an avatar.
Posts: 24
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Post by jraym16 on Jan 4, 2011 22:51:19 GMT 1
Don't slow down now, I'm still here.
But anyway, I thought the chapter was great. I like the spin on Samara's character alot and I think you could definetly build on that a lot. THe conversations with Jack and Grunt at the beginning were also very funny.
Keep up the good work, and don't forget to critique my stuff.
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Post by jklinders on Jan 4, 2011 23:17:52 GMT 1
You know I did not notice how...matronly Samara's voice was until this chapter. I can almost see her in an apron offering tea and crumpets. Good work. I also love how you play off on Grunt. These philosophical lapses he has are pretty funny. I always thought that he sounded too...thoughtful for a hormone driven juvenile Krogan.
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jraym16
Serviceman 3rd Class
I have transcended the need of an avatar.
Posts: 24
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Post by jraym16 on Jan 5, 2011 1:37:18 GMT 1
Just out of curiosity, when are you planning on doing all the loyalty missions, Clint? I have some stuff written but I'm not sure where to put it in the story as of yet.
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Post by Clint Johnston on Jan 5, 2011 3:19:19 GMT 1
You will see, young one, you will see.
Linders - I got the idea when I did the first conversation with her on the ship, when she hasn't the slightest concern that she's working for terrorists.
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Roman Candle
Lieutenant
For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.
Posts: 120
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Post by Roman Candle on Jan 9, 2011 4:19:54 GMT 1
Nice! I especially enjoyed Grunt and Garrus in this chapter. I hope to see more of Grunt's random philosophical statements. He should do that more often, heh.
I like how Garrus started out trying to be badass, but ended up just complaining about C-Sec stuff again.
Good stuff.
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