jraym16
Serviceman 3rd Class
I have transcended the need of an avatar.
Posts: 24
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Post by jraym16 on Dec 19, 2010 19:51:21 GMT 1
Hello peoples. For those who have forgotten, I am the mysterious other guy who received the license to Mock Effect 2 in July. I have waited till know to post it so I could have a significant portion of it done and release chapters on a semi-regular schedule. This is the prologue. Tell me what you think. Attachments:
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Post by Clint Johnston on Dec 19, 2010 20:13:14 GMT 1
Oh crap, now I have to actually keep up! LOL
A couple comments: 1. You switch the titling labels "JOKER - Joker" etc. Tis confusing. 2. I may do this too, but you seem to be lifting alot directly from the ME game script. I don't know if I've been successful, but I've tried to use as little of their dialogue as possible, simply to make the work my own, and avoid any possible copyright nonsense.
If you see anything you want to criticize in mine, please go ahead. Keep up the good work!
P.S. Where the hell is John?
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jraym16
Serviceman 3rd Class
I have transcended the need of an avatar.
Posts: 24
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Post by jraym16 on Dec 19, 2010 20:19:08 GMT 1
Hi.
First of all, thanks for pointing the title thing out, its always the little msitakes that we miss.
Secondly, using their dialogue is kinda deliberate, aminly to subvert its original intent and make fun of it(I do the latter more in the later chapters I've already written) but its still something to keep in mind, thanks for pointing it out again.
John will come, he's simply not in the prologue mission.
Keep up the good work yourself!
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Post by Mister Buch on Dec 20, 2010 0:30:28 GMT 1
Looking good, James.
My two cents - I like to lift a lot directly from the script, too. There is a fine balance, hey.
NOW - the important part: goading you both into competition.
Best parody, as chosen by me, the Grand Originator (all knowing), wins a MAGIC FLYING SPORTSCAR. The loser will be booed out of town.
Get writing.
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Post by Clint Johnston on Dec 20, 2010 3:06:22 GMT 1
MAGIC FLYING SPORTSCAR??? W00t!!
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jraym16
Serviceman 3rd Class
I have transcended the need of an avatar.
Posts: 24
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Post by jraym16 on Dec 20, 2010 3:24:36 GMT 1
It's on now.
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