Post by Cali on Sept 8, 2014 9:56:22 GMT 1
That's crazy Iron.
Due to a medication change, I've had some strange ones. I had a really weird one last night that I'd most certainly like to write a script for, but it's only something that David Cronenburg would direct and convey it's weirdness successfully. Basically I'm a hitman working for a nonspecific organization, and I take a contract which requires me to go on a private jet to a small tropical island about a hundred miles off of Africa's midwest tropical region in the Gulf of Guinea (west by southwest of Cameroon, and north of the Island of Principe), and await further instructions from my contract handler in Lisbon. The whole island is a cross between a corporate utopian research facility (Akin to Jurassic Park, though sadly with no Dinosaurs) and the Realm of Riven from the Myst series. There are strange colored beetles flying around, and weird looking sea otters floating around the shores and rolling over and napping or romping.
Basically, the administrator of the facility was a Nigerian dude with sunglasses, a cigar, and a high and tight dyed blonde hair and a trenchcoat (which made him look like a black Duke Nukem) and welcomed me there. I get assigned to a hotel, which is no more than a press conference room or a lab with several people who appear largely mentally retarded doing strange activities. I later discover that they are savants, and capable of some very bizarre and amazing phenomenon, like holding fire and making it change colors. So when their doing their things or shooting the shit (like playing Warhammer 40k in the other corner or something), I doze off to sleep, and some dream within a dream occurs where I'm talking to my parents about gardening. Then I wake up, and in a style of some weird film noire, this chick with fiery red colored short Anne Hathaway style hair, flanked by two chickens on each shoulder is sticking acupuncture needles in me as I'm sleeping. I'm okay with this, because it's feeling kinda good, but then one of the chickens sticks its beak in a biohazard container, and holds up a single needle, throwing it to the other one, and sticks it in my arm (side of my right bicep), and then I doze off again.
I later have even weirder dreams of me getting into bare knuckle boxing tournaments with rainbow colored ogres in 1800's style saloons, riding huge seahorses in races, and getting blowjobs from women in 1920's cocktail waitress dresses. I then wake up to find out that the chicken pricked me with an acupuncture needle infected with a strain of the West Nile Virus, and I was recovering in a large wooden hospital, where that same red haired woman was (she was a newly graduated doctor from Denmark undergoing her residency on the island) and I completely feign ignorance about everything. I don't even mention the goddamn chickens. So basically I wait until night, and sneak out of my room, avoiding orderlies and security, and getting my stuff back, and ending up sleeping in the wilderness that night. Basically, around 3:00 AM or so, I'm approached by a wailing island banshee (a blue misty ghostly woman with sharp teeth and red eyes), and I get my main weapon, a Springfield Armory XD9 Subcompact and start blasting, which dissipates her slightly, but does little to actually banish her. So I run the fuck away, and with the help of an orange furred orangutang in a hard hat (most likely stolen from one of the construction zones) I climb a tree over an electric fence, and the banshee tries to float through it, but gets shocked and dies in a turquoise colored explosion. Meanwhile, African Duke Nukem's men get up during the night with flashlights and scramble outside to see what the fuck was going on, and I ran my ass away and hid inside a small empty warehouse.
Once the sun was up, I get a text message from my handler/boss, who tells me I need to kill two of one of the resident's prize roosters. So basically, I go on a Far Cry 3 style hunt for these two bastards for a long time (the Island is very weird, there's a region that's like the Ewok village, but with a shitton of overgrowth, so you wouldn't know until you looked over a railing and looked hard enough through a bunch of vines). Basically, I come across the Danish doctor near a chicken coop, force her to get on her knees on the ground with her hands over her head, then lie face down, then enter the chicken coop, only to find that nothing was inside. I walk back out and the doc is nearly crying telling me that she didn't know the two chickens would try to kill me. I ask who the owner of the two roosters were, and she responds, though there's this weird "BEEP" through the name (kinda like in Kill Bill Volume 1), but I feel like I understand and just repeat random names, and she nods every time. I continue my hunt through the exotic, mystic wilderness (armed with my XD9, a garrote wire, and a Marine KA-BAR knife), looking for those damn chickens. I find one standing in the clearing under a weeping willow tree, and try to sneak up on him. He then turns his head to one side in the usual chicken fashion, sizing me up with a single left eye.
In the Jurassic Park style fashion, I am flanked and pecked nearly to death by the second rooster who leaped out of the woods. I fire several shots from my XD9, but none hit, and both of them are on me. I manage to fire my last shot at one of them as it's fleeing my bloody, staggering, feather covered visage, hitting it, and I leap onto it and stomp him to death as I chase the other through the wilderness. It was a short chase, as I'm trying to swing my KA-BAR at him, and I manage to just punch him midair with my free hand, causing the second rooster to fly into one of the trees, bounce off, and get caught up in foilage and overgrowth vines (this is in the overgrown Ewok type area of the island). I basically looked upon him, wanting to kill him and eat him, but I get so remorseful and sad looking at this helpless rooster that I help him out and let him live and fly free. I return, bloody and broken as rain starts pouring, the Danish doc wondering what the fuck is going on, then I embrace her (trying to keep my balance) and basically, ten seconds later, we're having angry, primal sex inside a leaky, rainy chicken coop. The ordeal was so exhausting that I fall back asleep.
Guess where I wake up? Inside the hospital again. I see outside the room that black Duke Nukem and the doc are having a tense conversation, and basically the Doc says "You have to leave! Somebody you know is coming here and he's going to kill you!" or something like that, and gives me my pistol back and runs out of the room. I hide it under my sheets, and my mission handler (who looks a fuckton like Terrance Stamp) walks in with a syringe full of potent poison and basically tells me that I fucked up royally getting my job only half-done. Black Duke Nukem opens the door, tells him to drop it while pointing a Browning Hi-Power at his back. Stamp-lookalike responds by yanking out a Smith & Wesson Model 500 and blowing him clear across the room with a shot to the chest. He then holsters the weapon, and decides that even though the entire hospital is alerted, he still wants to give me a clean kill with the syringe (possibly out of respect earned in the past). I point the XD9 at him, it freaking misfires. He then gets really pissed off, but then I look in the corner, and Nigerian Duke Nukem is still alive (probably since he's Duke Nukem) and gets my attention, throwing his pistol in mid air. I then use my weight to throw my bed on its side and catch the Hi-Power and curl up into a fetal position as Stamp-lookalike fires a shot through the bed. I then peek out and empty the mag into his head, neck, and face, killing him.
Island security is all the fuck over me, so I escape out with the Danish doc, and ride these sea otters back to the hotel where she does acupuncture on me again and I get to play Warhammer with weirdos as I waited for my jet to arrive. I notice this time the doc had two falcons on her shoulders. The end. I woke up.
I swear to fucking Christ, I dreamed that shit last night. And I still can't believe it, either.
Due to a medication change, I've had some strange ones. I had a really weird one last night that I'd most certainly like to write a script for, but it's only something that David Cronenburg would direct and convey it's weirdness successfully. Basically I'm a hitman working for a nonspecific organization, and I take a contract which requires me to go on a private jet to a small tropical island about a hundred miles off of Africa's midwest tropical region in the Gulf of Guinea (west by southwest of Cameroon, and north of the Island of Principe), and await further instructions from my contract handler in Lisbon. The whole island is a cross between a corporate utopian research facility (Akin to Jurassic Park, though sadly with no Dinosaurs) and the Realm of Riven from the Myst series. There are strange colored beetles flying around, and weird looking sea otters floating around the shores and rolling over and napping or romping.
Basically, the administrator of the facility was a Nigerian dude with sunglasses, a cigar, and a high and tight dyed blonde hair and a trenchcoat (which made him look like a black Duke Nukem) and welcomed me there. I get assigned to a hotel, which is no more than a press conference room or a lab with several people who appear largely mentally retarded doing strange activities. I later discover that they are savants, and capable of some very bizarre and amazing phenomenon, like holding fire and making it change colors. So when their doing their things or shooting the shit (like playing Warhammer 40k in the other corner or something), I doze off to sleep, and some dream within a dream occurs where I'm talking to my parents about gardening. Then I wake up, and in a style of some weird film noire, this chick with fiery red colored short Anne Hathaway style hair, flanked by two chickens on each shoulder is sticking acupuncture needles in me as I'm sleeping. I'm okay with this, because it's feeling kinda good, but then one of the chickens sticks its beak in a biohazard container, and holds up a single needle, throwing it to the other one, and sticks it in my arm (side of my right bicep), and then I doze off again.
I later have even weirder dreams of me getting into bare knuckle boxing tournaments with rainbow colored ogres in 1800's style saloons, riding huge seahorses in races, and getting blowjobs from women in 1920's cocktail waitress dresses. I then wake up to find out that the chicken pricked me with an acupuncture needle infected with a strain of the West Nile Virus, and I was recovering in a large wooden hospital, where that same red haired woman was (she was a newly graduated doctor from Denmark undergoing her residency on the island) and I completely feign ignorance about everything. I don't even mention the goddamn chickens. So basically I wait until night, and sneak out of my room, avoiding orderlies and security, and getting my stuff back, and ending up sleeping in the wilderness that night. Basically, around 3:00 AM or so, I'm approached by a wailing island banshee (a blue misty ghostly woman with sharp teeth and red eyes), and I get my main weapon, a Springfield Armory XD9 Subcompact and start blasting, which dissipates her slightly, but does little to actually banish her. So I run the fuck away, and with the help of an orange furred orangutang in a hard hat (most likely stolen from one of the construction zones) I climb a tree over an electric fence, and the banshee tries to float through it, but gets shocked and dies in a turquoise colored explosion. Meanwhile, African Duke Nukem's men get up during the night with flashlights and scramble outside to see what the fuck was going on, and I ran my ass away and hid inside a small empty warehouse.
Once the sun was up, I get a text message from my handler/boss, who tells me I need to kill two of one of the resident's prize roosters. So basically, I go on a Far Cry 3 style hunt for these two bastards for a long time (the Island is very weird, there's a region that's like the Ewok village, but with a shitton of overgrowth, so you wouldn't know until you looked over a railing and looked hard enough through a bunch of vines). Basically, I come across the Danish doctor near a chicken coop, force her to get on her knees on the ground with her hands over her head, then lie face down, then enter the chicken coop, only to find that nothing was inside. I walk back out and the doc is nearly crying telling me that she didn't know the two chickens would try to kill me. I ask who the owner of the two roosters were, and she responds, though there's this weird "BEEP" through the name (kinda like in Kill Bill Volume 1), but I feel like I understand and just repeat random names, and she nods every time. I continue my hunt through the exotic, mystic wilderness (armed with my XD9, a garrote wire, and a Marine KA-BAR knife), looking for those damn chickens. I find one standing in the clearing under a weeping willow tree, and try to sneak up on him. He then turns his head to one side in the usual chicken fashion, sizing me up with a single left eye.
In the Jurassic Park style fashion, I am flanked and pecked nearly to death by the second rooster who leaped out of the woods. I fire several shots from my XD9, but none hit, and both of them are on me. I manage to fire my last shot at one of them as it's fleeing my bloody, staggering, feather covered visage, hitting it, and I leap onto it and stomp him to death as I chase the other through the wilderness. It was a short chase, as I'm trying to swing my KA-BAR at him, and I manage to just punch him midair with my free hand, causing the second rooster to fly into one of the trees, bounce off, and get caught up in foilage and overgrowth vines (this is in the overgrown Ewok type area of the island). I basically looked upon him, wanting to kill him and eat him, but I get so remorseful and sad looking at this helpless rooster that I help him out and let him live and fly free. I return, bloody and broken as rain starts pouring, the Danish doc wondering what the fuck is going on, then I embrace her (trying to keep my balance) and basically, ten seconds later, we're having angry, primal sex inside a leaky, rainy chicken coop. The ordeal was so exhausting that I fall back asleep.
Guess where I wake up? Inside the hospital again. I see outside the room that black Duke Nukem and the doc are having a tense conversation, and basically the Doc says "You have to leave! Somebody you know is coming here and he's going to kill you!" or something like that, and gives me my pistol back and runs out of the room. I hide it under my sheets, and my mission handler (who looks a fuckton like Terrance Stamp) walks in with a syringe full of potent poison and basically tells me that I fucked up royally getting my job only half-done. Black Duke Nukem opens the door, tells him to drop it while pointing a Browning Hi-Power at his back. Stamp-lookalike responds by yanking out a Smith & Wesson Model 500 and blowing him clear across the room with a shot to the chest. He then holsters the weapon, and decides that even though the entire hospital is alerted, he still wants to give me a clean kill with the syringe (possibly out of respect earned in the past). I point the XD9 at him, it freaking misfires. He then gets really pissed off, but then I look in the corner, and Nigerian Duke Nukem is still alive (probably since he's Duke Nukem) and gets my attention, throwing his pistol in mid air. I then use my weight to throw my bed on its side and catch the Hi-Power and curl up into a fetal position as Stamp-lookalike fires a shot through the bed. I then peek out and empty the mag into his head, neck, and face, killing him.
Island security is all the fuck over me, so I escape out with the Danish doc, and ride these sea otters back to the hotel where she does acupuncture on me again and I get to play Warhammer with weirdos as I waited for my jet to arrive. I notice this time the doc had two falcons on her shoulders. The end. I woke up.
I swear to fucking Christ, I dreamed that shit last night. And I still can't believe it, either.