Post by Cali on Jan 2, 2010 23:51:40 GMT 1
I don't usually write oneshots, but this idea came to me today, and I immediately felt I had to write about it. It's linked with Mass Effect 2 in a small way, Shepard's supposed death and all.
____________
Like a diamond shard that had burst from its vein, and went into his skull, the force and the matter had unsealed his mortality, perhaps forever. The explosion, the milliseconds of pain, and the perpetrator behind it.
He remembered not, and he cared not.
Ever so briefly his life was in display before his eyes, not in flashes, but in glimmers. His birth from the mother he never knew, the turbulent times of his childhood, shaking down local businessmen in Buenos Aires with the other youths of Tenth Street for protection fees, the intense feeling of remorse of his first kill as he shot a batarian pirate and watched him die during his first combat campaign. Firmly grasping the hand of Lieutenant Yung Lo on Akuze, as his blood poured from the stumps that used to be his legs, and the feeling that went through him when the nuclear device set off on Virmire, Chief Williams still planetside when it occurred.
The feeling of discomfort departed, and a more sugary emotion was set in place. As if a charred and vandalized piece of paper in front of him was replaced with a clean sheet, or if a crimson tint on the world became a misty blue. This feeling was one of an incredible peace and sense of calm and joy. Just then, more positive memories flooded into his inexplicable conscience. Stepping up to the local Alliance Navy recruitment office, feeling the gale from the yelling mouth of Gunnery Chief Ellison near the practice range, the nameless officer giving him the news of his recommendation for Special Forces training, and finally graduating at the top of his class and attending a military dinner with several Alliance congressmen. Others included his indoctrination to the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel Council, the various awards he received for such things as saving citizens on Feros, talking the incredibly disillusioned former marine Major Kyle out of carrying on with a rebellion, and dealing with a corrupt administrator on Noveria.
Most of all, was the camaraderie his closest friends, not excluding Captain Anderson, Lieutenant Alenko, Wrex, and Dr. T’Soni. Without them, he would be nothing. A desolate man. And for that, he was thankful. He hid his disdain from his crew, over the loss of Chief Williams. The loss of Corporal Jenkins on Eden Prime was horrid enough, but he knew about Williams’ family. Surprisingly, when he visited the home of her mother and sisters to personally pay respects, they revered him, even when he openly confessed that it was his decision to abandon her. He attended her funeral as well as her posthumous Medal of Valor ceremony. He and his guilt clung to one another like Atlas holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. A heavy burden he held within his ribs.
Paul Shepard felt himself once more. He felt more alive than ever, and more at peace than ever. He opened his eyes. In front of him was a sea of stars, astral dust, and planets. It was as if he was suspended in space. He lifted his arms from his sides, holding them out in front of him, flexing every muscle, moving his fingers, and rotating his joints. He turned over his left hand to see that the scar on his forearm from the shot wound Saren gave him on Virmire was gone, replaced with a fresh sheet of undisturbed flesh. Puzzled, he then reached out the same arm to feel his scalp. The cut from the debris of the Mako explosion on Akuze was gone as well, as he could feel no elevated scar tissue.
“Where-” He heard his own voice. “What is this place?” He whispered to himself. Other than his voice, he felt a serene ambience, or a natural vibration in the ether around him.
Just then, a feminine chuckle sounded from above. Shepard rotated his eyes, his neck moving back as he saw her.
His surroundings were somewhat clear. He lie suspended on a nebula, in the lap of no other than Ashley Williams. The misty tint of the surrounding stars made her look like an Olympian goddess, her smile bright and comforting to the senses. She grabbed his left hand, and placed it in the palm of her free one, the two clasping one another. “Welcome to my humble domain, Commander. Make yourself at home.” Her joking attitude was still retained by her, even in death.
Both of them wore the traditional casual naval uniforms, the blue T-Shirts and suspenders, trousers, and black boots. Relics of their service to the Systems Alliance still clinging to their spirits.
Shepard smiled. He knew this was no dream. It may have not been the reality he was accustomed to, but it was real nonetheless. He sat up, looking to the stars and nebulas ahead. “What is this place, Ash?”
He felt her presence ascend behind him and move to his side. His peripheral vision caught her hand holding out to him. “This is where you go when you die.”
Shepard looked up to her. He had heard her speak of her beliefs in intelligent design. Though he initially doubted her on this talk, he now stood corrected. There may have not been a maker or God, but he now knew he had a soul, and not just a husk of flesh and bone. A feeling of goodness and well being like he never knew was present with him.
“So… I really am dead then.”
“You certainly have been shed of your mortal coil.” The former Chief replied.
He grasp William’s hand and was assisted in hoisting himself up. His feet felt the ground, feeling firm and sound, yet magnificently soft and cushiony. He breathed in, feeling more alive even in his demise.
“I… I can’t express how glad I am to see you Williams.” Shepard stammered.
“Likewise, Commander.” The gunnery chief smiled, patting Shepard on the shoulders and embracing him briefly. She then whispered in his ear. “We’re only allowed a certain amount of time together, Shepard.”
Shepard pseudo-ignored the last comment, looking to the endless ocean of astral around him. Despite his happiness, it felt rather weird in this dimension of space, where Ashley would most likely spend eternity. “So… you just hang around here, just looking at the stars?”
He then heard Ashley snicker again. “I’d thought that would be the first thing you’d ask me after you bit the dust and dropped here.” She then stepped in front of him, and pointed ahead to what looked like the Milky Way, hung above in a corner like a dream catcher on a ceiling. “Concentrate hard enough, and you’ll see everything that’s going on.”
Shepard stared at the galaxy, squinting his eyes slightly and stepping on the ethereal floor closer. A flash of light sprung up.
He saw the citadel, the wreckage of the severely damaged SSV Normandy. He then saw that Joker struggling out of a grounded escape pod with his hollow boned legs. He was glad to see he was still alive. There were other snippets of vision, including Captain Anderson working in the council office, looking shocked as a courier presented the news that he had been killed. Admiral Hackett held the same expression as he was in the officer’s mess aboard the SSV Shasta.
Shepard relaxed, stepping back. “It’s like… I’m omnipresent.”
“Being dead has its ups.”
Several hours, perhaps days in time passed as they discussed various things while strolling among the stars.
“I’m glad you could finally find solace in your guilt, commander.” Ashley told him.
“I never thought a moment like this would come true. If I could tell Kaiden that he has a reason that he‘s still alive…” Shepard realized that he never truly knew how to live until he was dead. He imagined trillions of the other beings in the galaxy felt the same way, wondering if the Krogan would feel more obligated to survive the genophage. Wondering if the Quarians should not give up hope, or the Volus to see things beyond financial stability. Until one’s soul was parted from his or her body, they could only see this, he supposed.
“Kaiden will find it commander. Just give it time.” She spoke. “Akuze was hell for you commander, and you climbed out of it nearly unscathed. You saw that there was a reason to live after what you went through.”
“I stayed positive, and didn’t take my anger out on anyone over what happened on Akuze.” Shepard spoke, almost in a murmur. “I guess I saw my suffering and pain that went on there as a call to be thankful for everything I used to take for granted, like running water and quartering.”
“And that was the strongest thing that you achieved. Even more than saving the galaxy from Sovereign.”
Shepard looked down at his star suspended feet. “I hope that Liara won’t take my death too hard.”
“Trust me, if any race is to understand positive philosophies, it would be the Asari.” She grinned. “God, I was pissed when I found out you had the hots for her.”
“I could tell.” Shepard spoke, continuing to walk around the space with Ashley.
“I was crazy about you the moment I saw you hosing down those Geth on Eden Prime, Commander. Good thing I didn’t let it get to my head too much.”
Shepard then looked toward Ashley. “You still feel that way?”
“Not in the same way. It took death to make me think this way, but I was happy for you and Liara commander.”
Shepard chuckled. “I just wonder if… my encounter with her… conceived…” He stammered, not wanting to finish the sentence.
Ashley smiled. “That’s for you to find out.”
Shepard had barely noticed at first, but the stars seemed to slowly be disappearing. The nebula he had laid on when he arrived in this rift was more transparent.
He then felt Williams grab his arm. Shepard turned around toward her, she quickly grabbed the other. “Serving with you aboard the Normandy changed the way I looked at life, Commander. I hope this experience changes you as well.”
“Well of course it has.” Shepard chuckled, almost surprised she wasn’t aware.
“No, when you live again.” She spoke.
This puzzled him. “What do you mean?” He asked.
He then remembered what she said near his arrival, “We only have a certain amount of time together.” The words echoed through his head.
The space around him started to shrivel and fade, the area becoming blacker.
“Shepard, the Maker has special plans for you. You’re not going to die yet.”
Though this was a lot to take in at once, and he hated to see Williams go, Shepard was somewhat eager to see this through. “I… I don’t fully understand.”
Her face began to darken as the light of the stars faded away. “You’re still going to live Shepard, and things in the Galaxy are going to get worse before they get better.”
“Ashley…” Shepard stammered.
“Shepard, promise me that you’ll retain everything you’ve learned here, and everything that made you the man everyone on the Normandy, including me admire you for. The galaxy depends on it.”
Her face was almost gone, the ambience and humming he had heard before grew louder and more intense. Shepard still felt at ease, and at peace. He knew he wouldn’t see her again, perhaps until a very long time. He nodded. “I promise…”
Her voice started to sound funneled, like talking into a fan. “Promise that you’ll be the harbinger of good in the galaxy and will not turn a blind eye to those in need, and those who depend on you the most.”
“I promise, Ashley.” Shepard said, smiling wryly.
The humming ceased, the universe around him was more quiet than ever. All he felt, were her hands on his shoulders. “I love you, Shepard.” She spoke silently. “Now wake up.”
A blinding light encompassed Shepard, and he lived once more, immediately determined to face the trials ahead with every fiber of his being.
____________
Like a diamond shard that had burst from its vein, and went into his skull, the force and the matter had unsealed his mortality, perhaps forever. The explosion, the milliseconds of pain, and the perpetrator behind it.
He remembered not, and he cared not.
Ever so briefly his life was in display before his eyes, not in flashes, but in glimmers. His birth from the mother he never knew, the turbulent times of his childhood, shaking down local businessmen in Buenos Aires with the other youths of Tenth Street for protection fees, the intense feeling of remorse of his first kill as he shot a batarian pirate and watched him die during his first combat campaign. Firmly grasping the hand of Lieutenant Yung Lo on Akuze, as his blood poured from the stumps that used to be his legs, and the feeling that went through him when the nuclear device set off on Virmire, Chief Williams still planetside when it occurred.
The feeling of discomfort departed, and a more sugary emotion was set in place. As if a charred and vandalized piece of paper in front of him was replaced with a clean sheet, or if a crimson tint on the world became a misty blue. This feeling was one of an incredible peace and sense of calm and joy. Just then, more positive memories flooded into his inexplicable conscience. Stepping up to the local Alliance Navy recruitment office, feeling the gale from the yelling mouth of Gunnery Chief Ellison near the practice range, the nameless officer giving him the news of his recommendation for Special Forces training, and finally graduating at the top of his class and attending a military dinner with several Alliance congressmen. Others included his indoctrination to the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel Council, the various awards he received for such things as saving citizens on Feros, talking the incredibly disillusioned former marine Major Kyle out of carrying on with a rebellion, and dealing with a corrupt administrator on Noveria.
Most of all, was the camaraderie his closest friends, not excluding Captain Anderson, Lieutenant Alenko, Wrex, and Dr. T’Soni. Without them, he would be nothing. A desolate man. And for that, he was thankful. He hid his disdain from his crew, over the loss of Chief Williams. The loss of Corporal Jenkins on Eden Prime was horrid enough, but he knew about Williams’ family. Surprisingly, when he visited the home of her mother and sisters to personally pay respects, they revered him, even when he openly confessed that it was his decision to abandon her. He attended her funeral as well as her posthumous Medal of Valor ceremony. He and his guilt clung to one another like Atlas holding the weight of the world on his shoulders. A heavy burden he held within his ribs.
Paul Shepard felt himself once more. He felt more alive than ever, and more at peace than ever. He opened his eyes. In front of him was a sea of stars, astral dust, and planets. It was as if he was suspended in space. He lifted his arms from his sides, holding them out in front of him, flexing every muscle, moving his fingers, and rotating his joints. He turned over his left hand to see that the scar on his forearm from the shot wound Saren gave him on Virmire was gone, replaced with a fresh sheet of undisturbed flesh. Puzzled, he then reached out the same arm to feel his scalp. The cut from the debris of the Mako explosion on Akuze was gone as well, as he could feel no elevated scar tissue.
“Where-” He heard his own voice. “What is this place?” He whispered to himself. Other than his voice, he felt a serene ambience, or a natural vibration in the ether around him.
Just then, a feminine chuckle sounded from above. Shepard rotated his eyes, his neck moving back as he saw her.
His surroundings were somewhat clear. He lie suspended on a nebula, in the lap of no other than Ashley Williams. The misty tint of the surrounding stars made her look like an Olympian goddess, her smile bright and comforting to the senses. She grabbed his left hand, and placed it in the palm of her free one, the two clasping one another. “Welcome to my humble domain, Commander. Make yourself at home.” Her joking attitude was still retained by her, even in death.
Both of them wore the traditional casual naval uniforms, the blue T-Shirts and suspenders, trousers, and black boots. Relics of their service to the Systems Alliance still clinging to their spirits.
Shepard smiled. He knew this was no dream. It may have not been the reality he was accustomed to, but it was real nonetheless. He sat up, looking to the stars and nebulas ahead. “What is this place, Ash?”
He felt her presence ascend behind him and move to his side. His peripheral vision caught her hand holding out to him. “This is where you go when you die.”
Shepard looked up to her. He had heard her speak of her beliefs in intelligent design. Though he initially doubted her on this talk, he now stood corrected. There may have not been a maker or God, but he now knew he had a soul, and not just a husk of flesh and bone. A feeling of goodness and well being like he never knew was present with him.
“So… I really am dead then.”
“You certainly have been shed of your mortal coil.” The former Chief replied.
He grasp William’s hand and was assisted in hoisting himself up. His feet felt the ground, feeling firm and sound, yet magnificently soft and cushiony. He breathed in, feeling more alive even in his demise.
“I… I can’t express how glad I am to see you Williams.” Shepard stammered.
“Likewise, Commander.” The gunnery chief smiled, patting Shepard on the shoulders and embracing him briefly. She then whispered in his ear. “We’re only allowed a certain amount of time together, Shepard.”
Shepard pseudo-ignored the last comment, looking to the endless ocean of astral around him. Despite his happiness, it felt rather weird in this dimension of space, where Ashley would most likely spend eternity. “So… you just hang around here, just looking at the stars?”
He then heard Ashley snicker again. “I’d thought that would be the first thing you’d ask me after you bit the dust and dropped here.” She then stepped in front of him, and pointed ahead to what looked like the Milky Way, hung above in a corner like a dream catcher on a ceiling. “Concentrate hard enough, and you’ll see everything that’s going on.”
Shepard stared at the galaxy, squinting his eyes slightly and stepping on the ethereal floor closer. A flash of light sprung up.
He saw the citadel, the wreckage of the severely damaged SSV Normandy. He then saw that Joker struggling out of a grounded escape pod with his hollow boned legs. He was glad to see he was still alive. There were other snippets of vision, including Captain Anderson working in the council office, looking shocked as a courier presented the news that he had been killed. Admiral Hackett held the same expression as he was in the officer’s mess aboard the SSV Shasta.
Shepard relaxed, stepping back. “It’s like… I’m omnipresent.”
“Being dead has its ups.”
Several hours, perhaps days in time passed as they discussed various things while strolling among the stars.
“I’m glad you could finally find solace in your guilt, commander.” Ashley told him.
“I never thought a moment like this would come true. If I could tell Kaiden that he has a reason that he‘s still alive…” Shepard realized that he never truly knew how to live until he was dead. He imagined trillions of the other beings in the galaxy felt the same way, wondering if the Krogan would feel more obligated to survive the genophage. Wondering if the Quarians should not give up hope, or the Volus to see things beyond financial stability. Until one’s soul was parted from his or her body, they could only see this, he supposed.
“Kaiden will find it commander. Just give it time.” She spoke. “Akuze was hell for you commander, and you climbed out of it nearly unscathed. You saw that there was a reason to live after what you went through.”
“I stayed positive, and didn’t take my anger out on anyone over what happened on Akuze.” Shepard spoke, almost in a murmur. “I guess I saw my suffering and pain that went on there as a call to be thankful for everything I used to take for granted, like running water and quartering.”
“And that was the strongest thing that you achieved. Even more than saving the galaxy from Sovereign.”
Shepard looked down at his star suspended feet. “I hope that Liara won’t take my death too hard.”
“Trust me, if any race is to understand positive philosophies, it would be the Asari.” She grinned. “God, I was pissed when I found out you had the hots for her.”
“I could tell.” Shepard spoke, continuing to walk around the space with Ashley.
“I was crazy about you the moment I saw you hosing down those Geth on Eden Prime, Commander. Good thing I didn’t let it get to my head too much.”
Shepard then looked toward Ashley. “You still feel that way?”
“Not in the same way. It took death to make me think this way, but I was happy for you and Liara commander.”
Shepard chuckled. “I just wonder if… my encounter with her… conceived…” He stammered, not wanting to finish the sentence.
Ashley smiled. “That’s for you to find out.”
Shepard had barely noticed at first, but the stars seemed to slowly be disappearing. The nebula he had laid on when he arrived in this rift was more transparent.
He then felt Williams grab his arm. Shepard turned around toward her, she quickly grabbed the other. “Serving with you aboard the Normandy changed the way I looked at life, Commander. I hope this experience changes you as well.”
“Well of course it has.” Shepard chuckled, almost surprised she wasn’t aware.
“No, when you live again.” She spoke.
This puzzled him. “What do you mean?” He asked.
He then remembered what she said near his arrival, “We only have a certain amount of time together.” The words echoed through his head.
The space around him started to shrivel and fade, the area becoming blacker.
“Shepard, the Maker has special plans for you. You’re not going to die yet.”
Though this was a lot to take in at once, and he hated to see Williams go, Shepard was somewhat eager to see this through. “I… I don’t fully understand.”
Her face began to darken as the light of the stars faded away. “You’re still going to live Shepard, and things in the Galaxy are going to get worse before they get better.”
“Ashley…” Shepard stammered.
“Shepard, promise me that you’ll retain everything you’ve learned here, and everything that made you the man everyone on the Normandy, including me admire you for. The galaxy depends on it.”
Her face was almost gone, the ambience and humming he had heard before grew louder and more intense. Shepard still felt at ease, and at peace. He knew he wouldn’t see her again, perhaps until a very long time. He nodded. “I promise…”
Her voice started to sound funneled, like talking into a fan. “Promise that you’ll be the harbinger of good in the galaxy and will not turn a blind eye to those in need, and those who depend on you the most.”
“I promise, Ashley.” Shepard said, smiling wryly.
The humming ceased, the universe around him was more quiet than ever. All he felt, were her hands on his shoulders. “I love you, Shepard.” She spoke silently. “Now wake up.”
A blinding light encompassed Shepard, and he lived once more, immediately determined to face the trials ahead with every fiber of his being.