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Post by Mister Buch on Dec 14, 2009 21:10:21 GMT 1
I just got done seeing 'Transformers: Revenge of the Audience' - I've been refusing to watch it after hating the first one so much, but curiosity finally got the better of me. Thank God I didn't pay for it.
Rather than write a massive diatribe about it - listing all the things I hated, all the things I was personally offended by, all the things I found racist and sexist, all the things I found so appalling that they became funny, all the jokes that were so poor that I laughed in spite of them (I was hysterical near the end)... or just complain about Shia TheBeef and Megan Fox and John Turturro's arse and allllllllll the comic relief characters (there were seventy-three among the protagonists alone)...
Rather than go into detail about any of this, I'll just say that it was the worst mainstream movie I've ever seen, hands down.
And I'll let this video sum up how it made me feel, from beginning to end-
I fear the wounds are fatal.
-
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Post by Knightfall on Dec 14, 2009 21:21:13 GMT 1
lol! I am sorry you had to see that. Didn't think you'd ever get up the nerve.
I haven't seen it since I saw it in theaters, but I did enjoy the action-y bits. Like Optimus Prime's battle in the woods and when that fleet got pummeled into the sea. I enjoyed that. And I still enjoy Elrond/Agent Smith doing the voice for Megatron.
Didn't quite understand why they had Tom Kenny do...like...every other voice, though. Everyone sounded like Spongebob, and Grey Delisle only had like one line.
I'd probably see the third one if they made it, but I'd be going purely to satisfy my disaster movie fix.
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Post by Mister Buch on Dec 14, 2009 21:23:18 GMT 1
It was a disaster movie all right.
I must say though, the fight in the woods was, notably, the one scene I enjoyed. It was an extraordinary thing - Optimus Prime fighting Megatron. What an extraordinary thing to see in the Transformers movie....
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Post by Knightfall on Dec 14, 2009 22:59:02 GMT 1
It's not like they're enemies or anything like that. Why should they fight? >=O
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Post by Zarsthor on Dec 15, 2009 2:49:47 GMT 1
Optimus Prime! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!one!!!!!!!!!
Yeah still not seen 1 or 2 and never will. Michael Bay scares me.
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Post by Hodster on Dec 15, 2009 8:35:42 GMT 1
He died for our sins
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Post by Tillian Panthesis on Dec 17, 2009 4:27:43 GMT 1
So if anyone is fortunate enough not to See Transformers 2, then here's a abridge script that pretty sums up the movie without the heartache of Michel Bay screwing our childhood dreams. www.the-editing-room.com/transformers2.html
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Post by Zarsthor on Dec 17, 2009 8:01:54 GMT 1
I'm appalled after reading that script. Appalled at Michael Bay... though I think I already hit my maximum amount of appall towards him years ago...
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Post by Mister Buch on Dec 17, 2009 15:39:06 GMT 1
I complained about it to my boss and she said she thought "It was great. It was fun."
For crying out loud.
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Post by Zarsthor on Dec 18, 2009 8:41:40 GMT 1
Oh my. I have super awesome sympathy for you.
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Post by Knightfall on Dec 18, 2009 10:05:32 GMT 1
It was a very fun movie, but at the same time, I wouldn't call it "great." It was sort of like a weird rollercoaster ride, where you get off thinking, "Hey, that was pretty fun, but let's not do that again." I had similar feelings after eating a deep-fried twinkie. Fun, but never again.
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Post by Mister Buch on Dec 18, 2009 11:46:21 GMT 1
See, that's what I don't get. I genuinely don't understand how anyone finds this film 'fun'. I honestly found nothing enjoyable in it. Every single aspect, every character and every scene was a disappointment.
And also I forgot to mention this in my rant earlier - what the hell was with the constantly-moving camera?! In every shot it was panning from left to right, right to left, up to down, in circles around the characters, zooming in. I was yelling at the screen, 'Stay still!! Just shoot the scene and let me concentrate on it!' Maybe the idea was to distract the audience from the dialogue.
Seriously, it was ridiculous.
The acting was laughable. The plot was pathetic ('The Fallen' is actually the name of a character... a character we've never heard of and thus his revenge would be meaningless to us... okay..... oh and what do these soldiers have to do with ANYTHING?!) The action was boring and hard to distinguish (I had a very hard time figuring out which were the good guys and which the bad mid-fight.) The robots with the 'comedy black guy' voices were just offensive. There was so much swearing in it. Why do the Transformers have to swear?! One of the Transformers said 'Bollocks' in this. Come on, Michael. There were a million comic relief characters, and every single one of them had more lines than the FUCKING TRANSFORMERS, whom the film is FUCKING NAMED AFTER!! (I do not count 'Wheelie' or the racial-comedy-transformers as transformers here.)
Even Megan Fox (who had about three lines of dialogue in the movie and spent the rest of it just literally posing over the scenery and in one scene stripping - yes, stripping, in the background for absolutely no reason)............ even Megan Fox wasn't very pretty, looking as she did like some freakish scally/chav/whatever under that thick clown make-up.
There was absolutely nothing 'fun' in there. Okay the fight in the woods when Optimus Prime had swords of some kind. That was fun. ONE thing.
--
Also - I just realised they managed to make Wheelie even more annoying than the original Wheelie character. That is pretty damn impressive.
---
And that post turned out to be much longer than I intended.
Sorry Knightfall - I think I was raging against my boss there, not you.
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Post by Knightfall on Dec 18, 2009 12:51:17 GMT 1
I wouldn't so much call the plot laughable, I'd call it non-existent. I asked my sister the other day what it was about and she couldn't really tell me either. I'd forgotten pretty much as soon as I left the theater with the rest of the damn mob.
Now, see, I've liked most of Michael Bay's films. The Rock, Bad Boys II, Armageddon, The Island, and I thought the first Transformers was rather good. But I've never once gone to one of his movies and thought, man, this could be philosophically, ethically, and grammatically enlightening.
I liked Pearl Harbor when I was younger, but now it plays off like some sensational pro-American spiel that couldn't even be bothered to be historically accurate most of the time. When we got attacked, we only got a couple planes in the air, but they played it off like we chased them back out of the harbor. And then the movie kept going until it showed the Doolittle raid, and then it had turned into some sort of revenge flick. The only part that stuck with me was what happened with the USS Arizona, which was morbidly accurate.
I don't think I've seen a war movie since with a freaking PG-13 rating, though. It's like they were trying to market war to teenagers when that movie came out. Clint Eastwood is really the only director of late that's made a respectable war epic with Flags of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima (I won't even get into Saving Private Ryan. Three hours of people dying.)
The Island was a great concept, but it turned that concept into two hours of Obi Wan Kenobi running away from space police. And it was pretty much a rip-off of THX-1138 anyway.
See, I'd take Transformers 2 over Pearl Harbor any day. Transformers 2 wasn't trying to be anything spectacular or smart, which is probably why I haven't had a reason to see it more than once. I liked the action, though. The forest scene, the Navy getting obliterated, and the beginning...I can't think of any other parts. But still, it was enjoyable, seeing it at midnight with my sister and friend in a crowded theater. It was fun!
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Post by Zarsthor on Dec 19, 2009 5:31:40 GMT 1
*Watches you two make really long (and interesting* poists but has nothign tos ay ebcause she ahsn't seen either movie*
But I do think michael bay is some form of film criminal.
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Post by Mister Buch on Dec 19, 2009 10:43:30 GMT 1
Knight, you are crusing fora bruising.
There is just nothing fun about the movie. Nothing. I really don't understand.
The line at the end of this song (well the full-length version) says it best - "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?"
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