A rather serious topic (Not surprised no one broke the ice)

[Cali]

Hiya, it's Esteemed Titled Knight Sir Francis Begbie fillin' in for Cali, who's account I tapped for a couple of quid. Cuntburnin' Yankee is probably usin' it to get positvely blootered off his arse at the local stink pubs that inhabit his homeland, but meh. I wanted to speak to you lot aboot somethin'.

It's no surprise people weren't going to bring up this rather touchy elephant in the room until now but-














GOATBUGGERIN' SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE YOU WANKERS!!!




UUUUURGGGGHH YEEAAHAHH, EMPTY ME DADDY BAG OVER THAT FLAG EVERY DEYYY

ACH YES




YEAH, HAVE A GOOD BURN AND A DIRT NAP, JACKIE MAH BOY!




YES YES YES



YES YES YES YES



AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE









Okey. Sorry lads. Got a tad carried away.




What was the point I was trying to get to?


Ach. Yeah. Scottish independence. The Parliamentary Referendum is coming right up!

For all the yanks who are absolutely fucking gash when it comes to your history lessons, Scottish Independence is every bit a big o' deal as what the Irish make out of it. Hell, I'd go as far as to say we need it more than the Irish.


Yeah, you lot just keep countin' your potatoes and hammering down your motor oil of a beer you all drink. But look like a band o' armed dobbers while doin' it, by all means, ye Mick poofcomets!


The bashing of our Irish cousins aside, ye don't have to look twice to see that Scotland has a Hophouse-load of things to be proud of.




Our cuisine is fuckmothering exotic and inimitable among our Britannic neighbors. Apart from our esteemed haggis, mince and tatties, we have a wide array of puddings, and if I may plug a dab, a lot of arse-smashin' fish and seafood! Such as this spiced and cold smoked finnan haddie!




And let us not forget our women. Own up, ye bastards, ye know you envy Scotland for it's non-Y chromosome population. We're particularly famous for our maids, who are world reknown for being gorgeous as Corsican arses and 500 times better at their job.

You all should know, Rose Leslie, when she wasn't telling a generation of John Snows that they knew nothing, played one in the limey aristocracy glorifying serial Downton Abbie. Highlight of the show she was!



And let's not forget Kelly Macdonald! What a lucky bugger my thieving, treasonous buddy Mark Renton, or Ewan McGregor or Obi Wan or whatever he changed his name to nowadays was to get 'is mack on with that lassie!

Grrrrrrooowwwwweee.


And let's not forget the talented Annie "The Voice" Lennox of Eurythmics fame.

Sweet dreams 'er made of her, I'm tellin' ye!




And what of our brazen Scottish ferocity? Everyone knows that Football and Rugby Clubs are mutations of Britannic feudal warfare, but Goddamn do we take it to levels of Robert the Brucyness! Our notorious Celtic vs. Rangers rivalry is the stuff of legends! The peasantry in the stands love their lords, and will fight to the death in the streets to prove it!

Rabid Celtic and Rangers Hooligans, bravely sacrificing having meaningful lives to further the entertainment and amusement in your own.





And let us not forget the lush jeweled pride of Western Europe, our lovely vast highlands.


Ohhhhhh, ohhhhhh Will Wallace's beard this is giving me Scotgasms.


Ohhh YESSS IT LOOKS GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT




So yes. There are countless other things, literature, agriculture, underground fistfighting, (superheroes too probably if one looks hard enough) that Scotland has to be prood of. We may be ruled by effete assholes but we're a stalwart bunch of stubborn gobshites and we aims to keep it that way.



Don't trust anything this fookin' Jedi junkie knobtwister says.






So there ya have it, come 2014 the big decision'll be made in the glorious Parliament of Scotland, who are every bit as full of wankers as any other legislative body, mark me words. But still, this could be the chance to redeem themselves.

"Next order of business, make those in the BNP seats stop farting during crucial hearings. We know you shites do it on purpose, so start ownin' up."



On the zero hour, the borders of Scotland will likely look a bit like this, no matter what the turnout or result!


We promise though, it'll just be ketchup slinging, and no Ben Disraeli bashing.



Hope this has been an enlightening experience. If you aren't a Scottish citizen then bombard our parliament with letters and empty threats of wedgies and Glasgow grins until our government legislates the almighty Renaissance of Scottish independence.


WE WANT YOU
TO BE OBNOXIOUSLY NATIONALISTIC

...and jam to the Boards of Canada and all those jolly Scottish house and electronica bands.


BEGBIE SIGNIN' OFF




- END -
























P.S./OOC/"Obligatory but seriously folks"

Just wanted to do some Gorvar/buzzfeed style political commentary, sorry if it got a little overbearing.

But what does everybody think about Scottish Independence Referendum that's coming next year? As a yank with Irish ancestory, I'm not entirely familiar with how popular it is (say, compared to previous attempts to succeed from the British Union, if there even were any).

You think the Scots have a flying chance of going lone wolf, or can the Brits not afford to lose a major player in what little remains of their shrinking empire? A sudden split could be bad for the European economy and political stability for a number of reasons, but mayhap some good could come of it besides satiating the desires and dreams of Scottish hypernationalists?

[jklinders]

I don't know a lot about the issue.

If I was to hazard a guess, I'd say they were a morsel more serious about it than Quebec is about separating from Canada. They are also a morsel less likely to get it done. It would help if I knew a little more about Scotland's official status in the UK is. Subdistrict of a larger Britain or a quasi-separate protectorate. The relationship has always seemed a little weird to me.

If a majority of the voters in Scotland were to profess a desire to be fully independent from the UK, then it seems that a democratic process should be started to allow it. Honestly I think it would be an overall loss for both sides if they did though. Both the UK and Scotland would be poorer for it, it's not the 15th century anymore after all.

[Mister Buch]

Thank you for that report Begbie.





From my perspective here, it seems like only a few people care but they REALLY care. But I don't really know anything about it. I could go either way. It would be a shame to make more walls and more passport checks. And Scotland is the best bit of the UK. I would be sad. xD

[CAPT Issac R. Madden]

Obligatory.

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