Post by Cali on Nov 24, 2013 7:22:31 GMT 1
I've noticed a very serious (YOU KNOW IT IS) issue with games nowadays: They don't have cleverly named difficulty levels. It's just a bunch of boring names like "Casual", "Normal", "Hard" and the very obligatory "Suicide" or "Nightmare".
Whatever happened to the wonderful gems like "Thou Needeth a Wet Nurse" (Heretic's easy mode), "Let's Rock" (Duke Nukem 3D's medium setting), and "Watch Me Die!" (Doom 64's hardest setting). There's always a few interesting exceptions in contemporary times, particularly an addition (forgot which one) in the semi-recent Guitar Hero franchise, which went "Tickle", "Pain", "Torture", and "Death". Never was a big fan of Guitar Hero, but the people who came up with that are the most metal SOB's ever and deserve a shiny-ass medal hung over their heads.
There's also sort of trend nowadays where the difficulty levels have a lot to do with the story or what the character is a part of/going through. Like in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow where it's "Initiate", "Squire", "Knight", and "Paladin". While these are a step up from the usual "Easy/Normal/Hard" stuff, I still think they could do better in this regard.
Take the FPS/Adventure hybrid Hexen, for example. They had something like this, but had different difficulty names for each CLASS you could play (Warrior, Cleric, and Mage). This was a freaking brilliant idea.
Which leads me to this question: What if the Mass Effect series had something like this? Well, forgive me for leaving you little time to ponder, but Imma go right in, all of them replacing everything from Casual to Hardcore.
SOLDIER:
1. Bootcamp Maggot
2. In the Sh*t
3. Goin' Commando
4. FUBAR, Commander. FUBAR...
INFILTRATOR:
1. Wearer of Bells and Clogs
2. Space Ninja
3. A Regular Mr. Swagger
4. I was born with an M-97 Viper in my hands.
ENGINEER:
1. Swabber of Decks
2. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Shepard
3. Space Trucker
4. Dr. Shepard, Ph.D
SENTINEL:
1. L2 Headache
2. I Build Dams
3. The Tender Touch of Sentinel Shepard
4. YO, CHECK OUT THIS SHIELD I JUST MADE
ADEPT:
1. Conjurer of Cheap Tricks
2. Bolt Thrower
3. You're a Wizard, Shepard!
4. Eats Element Zero, Sh*ts Singularities
VANGUARD:
1. Angry Little Kid
2. Shotgun Shep
3. SHEP TRAIN! TOOT TOOT!
4. Bamfin' BAMF
Whatever happened to the wonderful gems like "Thou Needeth a Wet Nurse" (Heretic's easy mode), "Let's Rock" (Duke Nukem 3D's medium setting), and "Watch Me Die!" (Doom 64's hardest setting). There's always a few interesting exceptions in contemporary times, particularly an addition (forgot which one) in the semi-recent Guitar Hero franchise, which went "Tickle", "Pain", "Torture", and "Death". Never was a big fan of Guitar Hero, but the people who came up with that are the most metal SOB's ever and deserve a shiny-ass medal hung over their heads.
There's also sort of trend nowadays where the difficulty levels have a lot to do with the story or what the character is a part of/going through. Like in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow where it's "Initiate", "Squire", "Knight", and "Paladin". While these are a step up from the usual "Easy/Normal/Hard" stuff, I still think they could do better in this regard.
Take the FPS/Adventure hybrid Hexen, for example. They had something like this, but had different difficulty names for each CLASS you could play (Warrior, Cleric, and Mage). This was a freaking brilliant idea.
Which leads me to this question: What if the Mass Effect series had something like this? Well, forgive me for leaving you little time to ponder, but Imma go right in, all of them replacing everything from Casual to Hardcore.
SOLDIER:
1. Bootcamp Maggot
2. In the Sh*t
3. Goin' Commando
4. FUBAR, Commander. FUBAR...
INFILTRATOR:
1. Wearer of Bells and Clogs
2. Space Ninja
3. A Regular Mr. Swagger
4. I was born with an M-97 Viper in my hands.
ENGINEER:
1. Swabber of Decks
2. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Shepard
3. Space Trucker
4. Dr. Shepard, Ph.D
SENTINEL:
1. L2 Headache
2. I Build Dams
3. The Tender Touch of Sentinel Shepard
4. YO, CHECK OUT THIS SHIELD I JUST MADE
ADEPT:
1. Conjurer of Cheap Tricks
2. Bolt Thrower
3. You're a Wizard, Shepard!
4. Eats Element Zero, Sh*ts Singularities
VANGUARD:
1. Angry Little Kid
2. Shotgun Shep
3. SHEP TRAIN! TOOT TOOT!
4. Bamfin' BAMF