Post by mizdirected on Jun 18, 2013 1:06:38 GMT 1
VIII
Shepard had rarely worked as hard as she did over the next five days. Once James saw that he could push her hard, he dogged her, giving her only a couple hours at a time to rest. For the first two days, she wasn't entirely sure she'd survive, but Cerberus came through yet again, and by the end of the fifth day, she felt like her old self. At least physically.
James and Steve both drilled her in her weapons, armour, and tactics, forcing her memory to recover faster than it was willing to. She nearly threw in the towel a couple of times when simple things like maintaining her Mattock escaped her. She knew that she'd done it thousands of times, but even the lessons seemed to abandon her as quickly as they were taught. When she was at her wit's end, Steve came to her rescue, trying different ways of presenting the information until he found a method that stuck.
Adams, Tali, Gabby and Kenneth put her through her paces in engineering, but for some reason that knowledge had stayed with her, and she dealt with all her assigned tasks without even having to think about them.
End result, by the close of the fifth day, she felt like Commander Shepard again, even more so when she checked in with Dr. Chakwas and the doctor gave her the nod.
“You're back, Shepard. Every reading I have says that you're at 100%. Even your memory seems to be remarkably intact. Are there gaps that stand out to you still?”
Shepard sat in the chair next to the doctor. “No. James took us out last night for a little squad on squad war game, and it was all there. Like muscle memory, I guess.”
“Are you ready to get back to work?” Karin smiled. “I've got the recommendation all ready to go, and I've talked to Admiral Hackett, but I want to make sure that you feel ready before I make it official.”
Shepard thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I'm ready. At least for a little while. Garrus and I have been talking about our future, and I think mine lies outside the Alliance, Doc. I'm going to meet with Hackett in the morning to propose a multi-racial military academy, and give him my notice.”
“Are you settling down, Commander?” Karin gave her a warm smile.
“Yeah, that's the plan, and since Garrus accepted the Primarch's offer to join Palaven's government, I guess that means making a home on Palaven.” She looked down and cleared her throat, not sure how to approach the subject of conceiving children, then chuckled at the irony of forcing Garrus to talk about it, then being unable to herself.
“Garrus and I want to have a family,” she managed to say at last. “We know that biology isn't going to be easy on us, but we were wondering what our options are. Is using a donor pretty much my only choice to have kids?”
“Actually, it might not be. Before the war, they were making incredible strides forward in gene modification. Obviously, the child would be human and have to be levo, but it might be possible to use at least some aspects of Garrus's DNA as well. Let me put some feelers out and see what I can dig up. I'll have the facilities to help.” She nodded toward the gap in the back wall that had been the doors to the AI core. “They've built me a state of the art lab and small quarters back there.” She sighed. “Big changes, all around.”
“Indeed.” Shepard stood. “After talking to Sovereign on Virmire, my focus narrowed down to ending the Reapers. If I thought about life after the war, it was immediate. There's an entire galaxy out there to rebuild, Karin.”
“And Commander Shepard will find her place on Palaven as a teacher and a wife, and a mother.” Karin smiled and nodded. “Sounds just about perfect to me.”
“Sounds odd to me, actually. I never thought any of that would be part of my life." Shepard shook her head. "But, I've seen enough death. Time to focus of life, and I think teaching the next generations of galactic protectors fits that bill nicely.”
“Commander?”
“Yes, Joker?” She winced at the edge to his voice. Since she'd told him about EDI, they'd spoken to one another in monosyllables and only when necessary. She didn't push it, knowing there was nothing she could say to close the breach.
“Incoming message from Admiral Hackett.”
“Send it to my quarters.” She smiled and laid her hand on the doctor's shoulder. “Not even back on active duty, and already getting late night messages from command.” She chuckled. “Thanks for everything, Doc.”
“I'll let you and Garrus know as soon as I discover anything,” Dr. Chakwas promised as Shepard turned and hurried out of the Med Bay.
Shepard jogged into her quarters and activated the view screen above her desk. “Admiral Hackett.” She saluted. “What can I do for you, Sir?”
He returned her salute. “Commander, we just received a communication from a turian evac transport entering the system. It seems that several ships filled with refugees from Palaven and nearby colonies were en route to the Citadel when it was moved. Unsure where else to go, and knowing that the fleets were converging here, they set course to meet up with their fleets.”
“And now they've missed them.”
“Exactly. As they made their way here, they met up with other transports with the same idea, and are now a fleet of thirty eight vessels. Only a couple of the ships have any means of self defence.”
“They'll be sitting ducks on their own. Who knows what's still out there.”
“Exactly. They've already been attacked by raiders, one of the transports was destroyed and another two damaged and captured. The people aboard the two damaged ships were able to get to life pods, but they lost two ships worth of supplies. Sounds like things are pretty desperate. We're setting up a camp outside London to house the bulk of the refugees, with their wounded being routed to Alliance hospitals throughout Europe.”
Shepard nodded. “What can the Normandy do to help, Admiral.”
“Dr. Chakwas has more experience with alien, particularly Turian physiology, than most of our doctors.”
“I'm certain she'll be more than happy to help.”
“The updates I've received from your people indicate it's going to be another three or four days before Normandy is ready to leave, but when the refit is completed, I need you to get out to where the convoy was attacked and see if you can track down the base of operations for these raiders. I don't like them being that close when we're trying to keep shipping open to the colonies.”
“Garrus is still in command of the Normandy, Admiral. Why are you bringing this to me?”
“Both Dr. Chakwas and Vakarian believe you're ready to return to active duty. How do you feel about doing so?”
Shepard stared at his handsome, rugged face for a moment, then nodded. “I'm ready, Admiral.”
“We're meeting first thing in the morning?”
“Yes Sir.”
“We'll make it official then. Good night, Commander.”
Shepard saluted. “Good night, Sir.” She turned off the view screen and let out a heavy sigh.
“I've got to give him credit,” Garrus said from behind her. “He waited five whole days before calling you back into service.”
Shepard turned and nodded. “Yeah. How long have you been there?”
“Pretty much since the beginning. So we're going to jump out after raiders.” He closed the few feet between them and slipped his arms around her. “It's good to hear that more survivors are trickling in, though thirty eight ships is a lot of refugees to feed and house.”
Shepard laid her hand against his chest. “It is. Well, we'll finish putting our ship back together, go out, kick some raider ass, and get them all started on their way home.”
“Commander?”
Shepard sighed. “Yes?”
“Another message incoming.”
“Put it through.”
“This one is for Garrus. It's from a Commander Herros Vakarian.”
Shepard pulled back and looked up at Garrus. “Your father?”
He nodded. “Put it through, Joker.”
Shepard stepped back as Garrus activated the view screen. An older turian appeared before them, his dignified face pocked and scarred from age and injury, but still proudly displaying the same face paint as Garrus. Shepard had never seen another turian with that design.
“Dad.” Garrus straightened. “It's good to see you. Where are you?”
“Garrus.” The turian studied him for a few seconds, then nodded, his mandibles fluttering the same way Garrus's did when he got emotional. “You look well. It's good to see you.” He looked up, meeting Shepard's eyes. “Commander Shepard, I presume.”
Shepard straightened, smiled and nodded. “Yes Sir. It's a pleasure to meet you.”
“And you, Commander.” He turned his attention back to Garrus. “We are approximately twelve hours from Earth. I've been told that arrangements are being made to shelter our refugees until they can return to their homeworlds.”
“You're on one of the ships headed to Earth? How's Solana?”
“Your sister is going to be taken to one of the Alliance hospitals. Her broken leg became infected. She's fighting hard, but she's very ill.”
“She's always been a fighter, yes Sir,” Garrus replied. “We'll meet her transport at the hospital. Our doctor is one of the best there is.”
“Is there anything you need, Commander?” Shepard asked, stepping up to Garrus's side. “Anything we can do to assist?”
“I believe the bulk of the arrangements are taken care of, but thank you. There are several transports in the convoy loaded with human refugees from some of your colonies. If I send you a list of their names, perhaps your people could see if they have any family who survived. Most of them are children. I forwarded the list to the Alliance as well, but it never hurts to have more than one party searching.”
“We'll do our best, Sir.”
“Thank you, Shepard.” He looked at his son for another moment, then nodded. “We will see you in twelve hours. Vakarian out.”
“See you then, Dad.”
Shepard stared at the screen as it faded back to her collection of model ships.
Garrus turned to face her. “They're alive, and they're here.” He shook his head as if he couldn't quite believe it.
“They are indeed.” The computer beeped, informing her of the received download, and she transferred it to a datapad. “Wow, a lot of names here.” She scrolled down the list, stopping about halfway down, a wide grin spreading across her face.
“What is it, Shepard?”
She highlighted two names. “Good news.”
He read it then gave her a gentle push toward the door. “Get going, but hurry back. We need to sleep while we can.”
She grinned and backed to the door. “Big day tomorrow.” She gave him a wink and turned to head to the bridge.
Joker and Tali were on the bridge, sitting in the dark, staring up at the stars and chatting when Shepard arrived.
“Hi Shepard,” Tali greeted her. “Joker was just telling me the stories behind the constellations. I'm pretty sure he was making most of it up.”
Shepard smiled and nodded. She looked up at the stars, barely visible through the thick portals.
“So, a whole fleet of Turian and Salarian refugees...” Joker said, breaking the tense silence.
“Quite a few humans from our outer colonies. Cmdr. Vakarian sent a list of their names and some personal information... colony they were evacuated from, etc. I was hoping that in the morning, you, Liara, and Traynor could see what you can do to find any families.”
He frowned. “What good am I going to do, unless their families are hiding under my console.” He bent down and checked. “Better give the list to Liara.”
Shepard sighed and held out the pad. “I don't know. There are a couple names here that you might be able to help with.”
He scowled and looked at her like she was wasting his time, then stopped and sucked in a quick breath. He looked from the pad to her then back a couple of times as if trying to confirm what he was seeing. “Mathew and Hillary Moreau, Tiptree.” He made a sound that was part sigh, part sob and part laugh, then looked up at Tali. “It's my dad and my sister. They made it out.”
“They'll be landing in about twelve hours.”
“That's wonderful news,” Tali said and stood, moving over to give him a hug. “I'm so glad for you.”
Joker looked up at Shepard. “Thanks Commander. We'll get to looking for the rest of the families first thing.”
Shepard let out a sharp sigh. “I'm just glad to be the bearer of good news for a change.”
“Sooo... that was Garrus's father?” Joker asked. At Shepard's nod, he gave her a tight smile. “And I thought the Quarian admirals were intimidating. Good luck meeting that in-law.”
Shepard just nodded. “You two get some sleep. We've got 4 days to get this boat back in the sky so we can go out and chase down the raiders that attacked the refugees.”
She headed back to her quarters, finding Garrus already in bed. After changing, she curled into his arms, fitting her contours to his. She kissed him, then closed her eyes. “Good night, Garrus.”
He nuzzled her temple. “Good night, Shepard. And don't worry, I think my dad is already smitten with you.”
She chuckled. “How can you tell? He looked pretty formidable to me.”
“He called you Shepard at the end. Fifty credits says that he's calling you Jane by the end of the first hour.”
Shepard laughed. “You're on.”
“Easiest fifty credits I ever made.”
* * * * *
Shepard bolted upright in bed, heart hammering in her chest. She glanced around, trying to orient herself.
A gentle hand touched her back. “You okay?”
Garrus's voice pulled her back from the edge of panic, banishing the last vestiges of the dream. She swung her legs out of bed and took a couple of deep breaths. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just going to get a drink. Go back to sleep.”
She waited until his breathing evened out, then grabbed her sweatsuit off the chair next to the bed and headed to the bathroom. After splashing cold water over her face and neck, Shepard towelled off and dressed. Creeping out of the bathroom, she hesitated at the top of the stairs, making sure Garrus was asleep before she put on her boots and left her quarters.
When the elevator opened, she pressed the control to go down a level and leaned against the wall. Nightmare figures of destroyed Geth, Reapers, EDI and Anderson rolled over and over through her mind's eye. “You did this to us,” they chanted in a roaring chorus.
Shepard shook her head and pushed herself away from the wall, forcing the dream back behind the wall where it belonged. She needed to stay functional.
The CIC was nearly deserted at that time of the day, most of the crew were sleeping, tucked soundly into their new beds, but a few sat or stood at duty stations. She nodded in response to their greeting as she passed them by, making her way to the bridge, fairly sure that it would be empty at that time of the morning.
Sure enough, it sat silent and dark, only a smattering of lights from the consoles shining red and orange over the stations. Shepard slipped into EDI's chair and leaned back, looking up at the sky. No stars peeked through the clouds, a fine sheet of rain falling onto the ship, forming rivulets and tiny streams as it ran over the ports, hurrying toward the ground.
The door opened behind her, the slow, uneven tread of the intruder telling her who it was without her needing to look.
“What are you doing up here?” Joker asked, sitting down. “Bad dreams?”
Shepard gave a noncommittal grunt.
“None of them are on my account, I hope. You did...”
“It's okay, Joker,” she said, interrupting him.
“Hey, don't interrupt. I don't apologize that often, so you might want to just let me talk... or you know, take a vid to keep as proof.” He sighed and leaned back. “I overreacted when you told me the truth. I was hurt and angry, so yeah, I acted like a jerk. Big surprise, it's what I do.”
“I understand, Joker, and you were right. I was a coward and took the easy choice, the familiar one, and then asked you to assuage my guilt under the excuse of 'He has a right to know'.”
“Now you're being a jerk to yourself.” He shrugged. “You made a choice, Shepard. Was it the right one? Who knows, and it doesn't matter now. It's made. Torturing yourself for the next sixty years isn't going to change it.” He grumbled and shifted in his chair. “Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed at you, but things didn't work out as badly as they could have. I thought I'd lost both of you for a while there.” He nodded toward the door. “Go get your ass back in bed. You're not allowed to sit in her chair yet.”
Shepard got up and walked to the door, turning back just before stepping through. “Good night, Joker.”
“Yeah.”
Shepard had rarely worked as hard as she did over the next five days. Once James saw that he could push her hard, he dogged her, giving her only a couple hours at a time to rest. For the first two days, she wasn't entirely sure she'd survive, but Cerberus came through yet again, and by the end of the fifth day, she felt like her old self. At least physically.
James and Steve both drilled her in her weapons, armour, and tactics, forcing her memory to recover faster than it was willing to. She nearly threw in the towel a couple of times when simple things like maintaining her Mattock escaped her. She knew that she'd done it thousands of times, but even the lessons seemed to abandon her as quickly as they were taught. When she was at her wit's end, Steve came to her rescue, trying different ways of presenting the information until he found a method that stuck.
Adams, Tali, Gabby and Kenneth put her through her paces in engineering, but for some reason that knowledge had stayed with her, and she dealt with all her assigned tasks without even having to think about them.
End result, by the close of the fifth day, she felt like Commander Shepard again, even more so when she checked in with Dr. Chakwas and the doctor gave her the nod.
“You're back, Shepard. Every reading I have says that you're at 100%. Even your memory seems to be remarkably intact. Are there gaps that stand out to you still?”
Shepard sat in the chair next to the doctor. “No. James took us out last night for a little squad on squad war game, and it was all there. Like muscle memory, I guess.”
“Are you ready to get back to work?” Karin smiled. “I've got the recommendation all ready to go, and I've talked to Admiral Hackett, but I want to make sure that you feel ready before I make it official.”
Shepard thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I'm ready. At least for a little while. Garrus and I have been talking about our future, and I think mine lies outside the Alliance, Doc. I'm going to meet with Hackett in the morning to propose a multi-racial military academy, and give him my notice.”
“Are you settling down, Commander?” Karin gave her a warm smile.
“Yeah, that's the plan, and since Garrus accepted the Primarch's offer to join Palaven's government, I guess that means making a home on Palaven.” She looked down and cleared her throat, not sure how to approach the subject of conceiving children, then chuckled at the irony of forcing Garrus to talk about it, then being unable to herself.
“Garrus and I want to have a family,” she managed to say at last. “We know that biology isn't going to be easy on us, but we were wondering what our options are. Is using a donor pretty much my only choice to have kids?”
“Actually, it might not be. Before the war, they were making incredible strides forward in gene modification. Obviously, the child would be human and have to be levo, but it might be possible to use at least some aspects of Garrus's DNA as well. Let me put some feelers out and see what I can dig up. I'll have the facilities to help.” She nodded toward the gap in the back wall that had been the doors to the AI core. “They've built me a state of the art lab and small quarters back there.” She sighed. “Big changes, all around.”
“Indeed.” Shepard stood. “After talking to Sovereign on Virmire, my focus narrowed down to ending the Reapers. If I thought about life after the war, it was immediate. There's an entire galaxy out there to rebuild, Karin.”
“And Commander Shepard will find her place on Palaven as a teacher and a wife, and a mother.” Karin smiled and nodded. “Sounds just about perfect to me.”
“Sounds odd to me, actually. I never thought any of that would be part of my life." Shepard shook her head. "But, I've seen enough death. Time to focus of life, and I think teaching the next generations of galactic protectors fits that bill nicely.”
“Commander?”
“Yes, Joker?” She winced at the edge to his voice. Since she'd told him about EDI, they'd spoken to one another in monosyllables and only when necessary. She didn't push it, knowing there was nothing she could say to close the breach.
“Incoming message from Admiral Hackett.”
“Send it to my quarters.” She smiled and laid her hand on the doctor's shoulder. “Not even back on active duty, and already getting late night messages from command.” She chuckled. “Thanks for everything, Doc.”
“I'll let you and Garrus know as soon as I discover anything,” Dr. Chakwas promised as Shepard turned and hurried out of the Med Bay.
Shepard jogged into her quarters and activated the view screen above her desk. “Admiral Hackett.” She saluted. “What can I do for you, Sir?”
He returned her salute. “Commander, we just received a communication from a turian evac transport entering the system. It seems that several ships filled with refugees from Palaven and nearby colonies were en route to the Citadel when it was moved. Unsure where else to go, and knowing that the fleets were converging here, they set course to meet up with their fleets.”
“And now they've missed them.”
“Exactly. As they made their way here, they met up with other transports with the same idea, and are now a fleet of thirty eight vessels. Only a couple of the ships have any means of self defence.”
“They'll be sitting ducks on their own. Who knows what's still out there.”
“Exactly. They've already been attacked by raiders, one of the transports was destroyed and another two damaged and captured. The people aboard the two damaged ships were able to get to life pods, but they lost two ships worth of supplies. Sounds like things are pretty desperate. We're setting up a camp outside London to house the bulk of the refugees, with their wounded being routed to Alliance hospitals throughout Europe.”
Shepard nodded. “What can the Normandy do to help, Admiral.”
“Dr. Chakwas has more experience with alien, particularly Turian physiology, than most of our doctors.”
“I'm certain she'll be more than happy to help.”
“The updates I've received from your people indicate it's going to be another three or four days before Normandy is ready to leave, but when the refit is completed, I need you to get out to where the convoy was attacked and see if you can track down the base of operations for these raiders. I don't like them being that close when we're trying to keep shipping open to the colonies.”
“Garrus is still in command of the Normandy, Admiral. Why are you bringing this to me?”
“Both Dr. Chakwas and Vakarian believe you're ready to return to active duty. How do you feel about doing so?”
Shepard stared at his handsome, rugged face for a moment, then nodded. “I'm ready, Admiral.”
“We're meeting first thing in the morning?”
“Yes Sir.”
“We'll make it official then. Good night, Commander.”
Shepard saluted. “Good night, Sir.” She turned off the view screen and let out a heavy sigh.
“I've got to give him credit,” Garrus said from behind her. “He waited five whole days before calling you back into service.”
Shepard turned and nodded. “Yeah. How long have you been there?”
“Pretty much since the beginning. So we're going to jump out after raiders.” He closed the few feet between them and slipped his arms around her. “It's good to hear that more survivors are trickling in, though thirty eight ships is a lot of refugees to feed and house.”
Shepard laid her hand against his chest. “It is. Well, we'll finish putting our ship back together, go out, kick some raider ass, and get them all started on their way home.”
“Commander?”
Shepard sighed. “Yes?”
“Another message incoming.”
“Put it through.”
“This one is for Garrus. It's from a Commander Herros Vakarian.”
Shepard pulled back and looked up at Garrus. “Your father?”
He nodded. “Put it through, Joker.”
Shepard stepped back as Garrus activated the view screen. An older turian appeared before them, his dignified face pocked and scarred from age and injury, but still proudly displaying the same face paint as Garrus. Shepard had never seen another turian with that design.
“Dad.” Garrus straightened. “It's good to see you. Where are you?”
“Garrus.” The turian studied him for a few seconds, then nodded, his mandibles fluttering the same way Garrus's did when he got emotional. “You look well. It's good to see you.” He looked up, meeting Shepard's eyes. “Commander Shepard, I presume.”
Shepard straightened, smiled and nodded. “Yes Sir. It's a pleasure to meet you.”
“And you, Commander.” He turned his attention back to Garrus. “We are approximately twelve hours from Earth. I've been told that arrangements are being made to shelter our refugees until they can return to their homeworlds.”
“You're on one of the ships headed to Earth? How's Solana?”
“Your sister is going to be taken to one of the Alliance hospitals. Her broken leg became infected. She's fighting hard, but she's very ill.”
“She's always been a fighter, yes Sir,” Garrus replied. “We'll meet her transport at the hospital. Our doctor is one of the best there is.”
“Is there anything you need, Commander?” Shepard asked, stepping up to Garrus's side. “Anything we can do to assist?”
“I believe the bulk of the arrangements are taken care of, but thank you. There are several transports in the convoy loaded with human refugees from some of your colonies. If I send you a list of their names, perhaps your people could see if they have any family who survived. Most of them are children. I forwarded the list to the Alliance as well, but it never hurts to have more than one party searching.”
“We'll do our best, Sir.”
“Thank you, Shepard.” He looked at his son for another moment, then nodded. “We will see you in twelve hours. Vakarian out.”
“See you then, Dad.”
Shepard stared at the screen as it faded back to her collection of model ships.
Garrus turned to face her. “They're alive, and they're here.” He shook his head as if he couldn't quite believe it.
“They are indeed.” The computer beeped, informing her of the received download, and she transferred it to a datapad. “Wow, a lot of names here.” She scrolled down the list, stopping about halfway down, a wide grin spreading across her face.
“What is it, Shepard?”
She highlighted two names. “Good news.”
He read it then gave her a gentle push toward the door. “Get going, but hurry back. We need to sleep while we can.”
She grinned and backed to the door. “Big day tomorrow.” She gave him a wink and turned to head to the bridge.
Joker and Tali were on the bridge, sitting in the dark, staring up at the stars and chatting when Shepard arrived.
“Hi Shepard,” Tali greeted her. “Joker was just telling me the stories behind the constellations. I'm pretty sure he was making most of it up.”
Shepard smiled and nodded. She looked up at the stars, barely visible through the thick portals.
“So, a whole fleet of Turian and Salarian refugees...” Joker said, breaking the tense silence.
“Quite a few humans from our outer colonies. Cmdr. Vakarian sent a list of their names and some personal information... colony they were evacuated from, etc. I was hoping that in the morning, you, Liara, and Traynor could see what you can do to find any families.”
He frowned. “What good am I going to do, unless their families are hiding under my console.” He bent down and checked. “Better give the list to Liara.”
Shepard sighed and held out the pad. “I don't know. There are a couple names here that you might be able to help with.”
He scowled and looked at her like she was wasting his time, then stopped and sucked in a quick breath. He looked from the pad to her then back a couple of times as if trying to confirm what he was seeing. “Mathew and Hillary Moreau, Tiptree.” He made a sound that was part sigh, part sob and part laugh, then looked up at Tali. “It's my dad and my sister. They made it out.”
“They'll be landing in about twelve hours.”
“That's wonderful news,” Tali said and stood, moving over to give him a hug. “I'm so glad for you.”
Joker looked up at Shepard. “Thanks Commander. We'll get to looking for the rest of the families first thing.”
Shepard let out a sharp sigh. “I'm just glad to be the bearer of good news for a change.”
“Sooo... that was Garrus's father?” Joker asked. At Shepard's nod, he gave her a tight smile. “And I thought the Quarian admirals were intimidating. Good luck meeting that in-law.”
Shepard just nodded. “You two get some sleep. We've got 4 days to get this boat back in the sky so we can go out and chase down the raiders that attacked the refugees.”
She headed back to her quarters, finding Garrus already in bed. After changing, she curled into his arms, fitting her contours to his. She kissed him, then closed her eyes. “Good night, Garrus.”
He nuzzled her temple. “Good night, Shepard. And don't worry, I think my dad is already smitten with you.”
She chuckled. “How can you tell? He looked pretty formidable to me.”
“He called you Shepard at the end. Fifty credits says that he's calling you Jane by the end of the first hour.”
Shepard laughed. “You're on.”
“Easiest fifty credits I ever made.”
* * * * *
Shepard bolted upright in bed, heart hammering in her chest. She glanced around, trying to orient herself.
A gentle hand touched her back. “You okay?”
Garrus's voice pulled her back from the edge of panic, banishing the last vestiges of the dream. She swung her legs out of bed and took a couple of deep breaths. “Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just going to get a drink. Go back to sleep.”
She waited until his breathing evened out, then grabbed her sweatsuit off the chair next to the bed and headed to the bathroom. After splashing cold water over her face and neck, Shepard towelled off and dressed. Creeping out of the bathroom, she hesitated at the top of the stairs, making sure Garrus was asleep before she put on her boots and left her quarters.
When the elevator opened, she pressed the control to go down a level and leaned against the wall. Nightmare figures of destroyed Geth, Reapers, EDI and Anderson rolled over and over through her mind's eye. “You did this to us,” they chanted in a roaring chorus.
Shepard shook her head and pushed herself away from the wall, forcing the dream back behind the wall where it belonged. She needed to stay functional.
The CIC was nearly deserted at that time of the day, most of the crew were sleeping, tucked soundly into their new beds, but a few sat or stood at duty stations. She nodded in response to their greeting as she passed them by, making her way to the bridge, fairly sure that it would be empty at that time of the morning.
Sure enough, it sat silent and dark, only a smattering of lights from the consoles shining red and orange over the stations. Shepard slipped into EDI's chair and leaned back, looking up at the sky. No stars peeked through the clouds, a fine sheet of rain falling onto the ship, forming rivulets and tiny streams as it ran over the ports, hurrying toward the ground.
The door opened behind her, the slow, uneven tread of the intruder telling her who it was without her needing to look.
“What are you doing up here?” Joker asked, sitting down. “Bad dreams?”
Shepard gave a noncommittal grunt.
“None of them are on my account, I hope. You did...”
“It's okay, Joker,” she said, interrupting him.
“Hey, don't interrupt. I don't apologize that often, so you might want to just let me talk... or you know, take a vid to keep as proof.” He sighed and leaned back. “I overreacted when you told me the truth. I was hurt and angry, so yeah, I acted like a jerk. Big surprise, it's what I do.”
“I understand, Joker, and you were right. I was a coward and took the easy choice, the familiar one, and then asked you to assuage my guilt under the excuse of 'He has a right to know'.”
“Now you're being a jerk to yourself.” He shrugged. “You made a choice, Shepard. Was it the right one? Who knows, and it doesn't matter now. It's made. Torturing yourself for the next sixty years isn't going to change it.” He grumbled and shifted in his chair. “Don't get me wrong, I'm still pissed at you, but things didn't work out as badly as they could have. I thought I'd lost both of you for a while there.” He nodded toward the door. “Go get your ass back in bed. You're not allowed to sit in her chair yet.”
Shepard got up and walked to the door, turning back just before stepping through. “Good night, Joker.”
“Yeah.”