mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 11, 2013 11:12:15 GMT 1
Author's Note: This story begins with the events between Mass Effect 2 and 3, continues with the after hours content of Mass Effect 3, then takes off after the events of the Crucible.
The stories told and the Shepard presented here are mine. Paragon Female Shepard. Colonist. Sole Survivor. Engineer. Kaidan LI before he turned into a whiny arse. Garrus LI after aforementioned Kaidan arse transition. So, yes, I did jump the Mako off a cliff, roll it off a mining shack and land it nose first in a rachni tunnel. It was one of my shining moments of Mako incompetence. *bows*
Disclaimer: Mild Sex, Violence and Language, no porn or massive use of the F word... no blood spurts and gruesome dismemberments... sorry.
MASS EFFECT - THE INTERNAL MACHINATIONS OF EXPLODING STARS
PART ONE- Mass Effect - Interstitial
Shepard flopped into the chair at her desk and leaned back, resting her head on the back of the chair. She closed her eyes and let herself sink into the leather, her muscles turning to jelly.
They'd done it. Her people had accomplished the impossible and come through. Every single one of them had come through. She smiled, and took a moment to savour the feeling of being at the helm of such a remarkable group of people. As soon as they reached the citadel, they would all go their own way once more. Who knew if she would ever see most of them again. Knuckles rapped on her door. “Come in,” she called without moving or opening her eyes. The door opened, the one she most wanted to see walking through. She shoved away doubts about whether he would leave her too, and just concentrated on the moment. “So this is how the living legend celebrates bringing her suicide team back alive?” Shepard sighed. “Too tired to do anything else.” She looked up at Garrus and smiled. “You okay?” He nodded. “Heart rate returned to normal about five minutes ago.” “Yeah. Adrenaline crash.” She sat up. “I'm not even sure I have a shower in me.” He walked over and crouched next to her chair. “Want some company? I think I can stand unshowered Shepard.” She reached out to touch his face. “I don't have any gymnastics in me for sure.” He chuckled. “What did you say last night? If you just hold me, it will be enough.” He touched his brow to hers. “I'll get Gardener to bring up some food then we can get into bed. No gymnastics required.” Sighing, she nodded. “Deal. You give the evil genius a call, and I'll wash the collector base off.” Garrus stood and headed down to the couch. Shepard watched him for a moment, smiling to herself. When she met him two years ago, if someone had suggested to her that the turian would become her right hand and most trusted friend, she would've been more than sceptical. “And wrong,” she whispered and pushed herself up. An hour later, Shepard laid curled in against Garrus's side, her head resting on his arm, feeling safer than she could remember feeling. “So, why me, Shepard?” She looked up. “Why you?” “Yeah. Miranda was senior officer. Why'd you have me lead the second team?” Shepard sighed and wriggled in a little closer. “Miranda might be XO as far as Cerberus is concerned, but I wasn't going to trust the team to her. She lacks a certain ... hmmm... humanity. I needed someone I could trust to do the job but take care of the team as well. Besides, we both know what can happen if squabbles start in the middle of a mission. If Jack had acted out, it could have meant disaster. She respects you. I knew she wouldn't give you any flack.” Garrus's arm tightened around her. “It wasn't about throwing me into the deep end?” She shook her head. “No. You're a natural leader. If you don't believe that now, you will some day. Nothing I do or say will flip that switch for you. You're way too stubborn for that.” He chuckled. “What did the Illusive Man have to say about your blowing that place to hell?” “He's ... um... less than pleased, but he reenforced to me that I did the right thing. He told me that the base could have secured human dominance against the Reapers and beyond.” She reached up and laced her fingers with his. “I can't trust him with that sort of power. How long would it have been before volus or elcor or hanar colonies started going missing to make a reaper for Cerberus? And even if we did win the coming battle, then what? He turns the monsters he's created against the rest of the races?” Garrus nodded and turned to nuzzle her temple. “You're unlike anyone I've ever known. Most people can't see past their lives. Most races can't see past their own agendas.” Shepard sighed. “I want to save my people, but I won't sacrifice what is best in us to do it, and I certainly won't sacrifice the other races to do it.” “So, what's next?” “Admiral Hackett asked me to rescue an operative from Aratoht in Batarian space. Apparently, she has proof of the imminent Reaper invasion.” “When do we suit up?” She shook her head. “You don't. He's asked me to go in alone and silently, break her out with as few alarms as possible. No squad.” He pulled back to look down at her. “You're going in alone? Can't say I agree with that, Shepard.” “I know, but it's the way he's asked me to play it, so that's the way I'll go in. If I'm careful, I should be able to get her out without any bullets being involved.” “That would be a first.” Garrus placed a talon under her chin and tilted her head up to kiss her then pulled her in tight against him again. He let out a long breath. “Thanks Shepard.” She smiled and closed her eyes. “For what?” “Throwing yourself after me.” He nuzzled her temple. “Never even occurs to you not to do those things, does it?” Shepard laughed softly. “You would have done the exact same thing if our places had been reversed, and it wouldn't have occurred to you to do otherwise.” “Go to sleep Shepard. Going to need to be sharp tomorrow.” She wriggled in and nodded. “That I will.”
II Shepard stepped out of the shuttle into the pouring rain and sighed, glancing up at the steel-coloured sky. “This is going to suck,” she groaned as the first trickle of rainwater slipped inside the neck of her armour.
* * * * *
Shepard sat up on the side of the bed and looked around Med Bay. She spent way too much time in Dr. Chakwas' company. She eased herself off the edge, feeling a little lightheaded and nauseated, but none the worse for her stay with The Project's staff. Closing her eyes, she did a wry self diagnostic. “Not like I'd know I was indoctrinated if I had been,” she grumbled under her breath. Still... wanted Reapers defeated. Check. Still no plan on how to do that. Check. Still glad to have blown the Collector base to hell. Check. All systems normal. She looked up as the discussion between Admiral Hackett and Dr. Chakwas ended, and straightened to salute when he walked up to her. He looked as tired as she felt. There were damned few people on her side of the Reaper issue, and they all had that same look about them... like they'd spent way too much time beating their head against a table. “How are you feeling? Recovered from your ordeal?” The admiral asked, snapping a brisk salute in reply. “Yes Sir.” "Bring me up to speed, Shepard. I have a whole lot of blanks to fill in."
Shepard told him the entire story of breaking Kenson out, discovering the arrival, and what had happened to her at The Project. When she finished, he stared at her for a moment, handed her back her report, called her a hero and then told her to prepare to face the firing squad in order to appease the batarians. “Yes Sir.” She saluted him. He returned the salute and left the Med Bay. Shepard sighed and leaned back against the bed. Weariness soaked all the way through her, weighing her down. So many dead. She closed her eyes and shook her head. So many dead, and the fight hadn't even started yet. Dr. Chakwas entered. “How are you feeling, Commander?” Shepard opened her eyes. “I just killed three hundred thousand civilians, doc. I feel old and worn down.” She gave the other woman a weak smile. “But, I will shake it off. I always do.” She pushed away from the bed. “Am I cleared to leave?” The doctor nodded. “Yes. You don't seem any the worse for wear from the hit you took from Object Rho. I'll run regular psych evals as we continue, but my tests don't show any change in your brain waves.” “Here's hoping.” Shepard laid a hand on Dr. Chakwas's arm. “Thanks doc, much appreciated.” “Where do we go from here, Shepard?” “First to the Citadel. I think this crew has earned itself a very expensive dinner on my tab. I imagine we'll lose at least a few of the team there. Then back to earth to face the firing squad.” She gave the doctor an exhausted smile. “See you later, doc.” “Take care, Shepard. My prescription for tonight is a quiet dinner and rest... perhaps a little company.” She smiled. Shepard nodded. “I'll take that under advisement.” Leaving the med bay, Shepard skirted the crew who were standing around in the galley, no doubt waiting to hear what had happened to her on Aratoht. That wasn't a story she intended to tell anyone. Well, almost anyone. The elevator doors were just about to close when Garrus stepped inside. “Going up?” Shepard smiled and nodded. “Yeah.” Neither one said anything until the door to her quarters shut behind her. She stopped, facing away from him for a moment, then turned and wrapped her arms around him. Garrus hesitated for a moment, then held her. “Rough couple of days.” She turned her face into his neck, hiding the tears that squeezed past her control. “Come on.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her down to the couch, drawing her onto his lap and into his arms. She curled into him, struggling to fight back the sudden, chilling despair that spread through her. She'd killed a more than a quarter million people: women, children, old people... and for what? To buy a few months to prepare for an enemy that they had no hope to prepare against – an enemy that wasn't just coming at some indeterminate time in the future, but who had arrived. “You did what you had to do, Shepard,” Garrus said softly. He rubbed her back and rested his cheek against the top of her head. “You did what you always do.” “What's that?” she whispered. “The impossible. You bought us time to figure out how to defeat them.” He shook his head. “I wish I'd been there.” She took slow breaths until she regained control, then pulled away. “I wish you'd been there too. It was a hell of a fight.” She moved to sit next to him and leaned against his side. “Hackett said I need to turn myself in, and he's right. After Aratoht, the batarians will be out for blood, and the Alliance can't afford a war, not with the Reapers here.” “Tell me what happened, from the beginning.” Shepard laid out everything that had happened to her since the shuttle had dropped her outside the prison. Garrus listened, remaining silent for long moments after she told him about her discussion with the admiral. Shepard turned to face him. “What is it?” He didn't meet her eyes and just shook his head. “Do you think I did the wrong thing?” His head snapped around to look at her and he frowned. “Not for a second.” He reached out for her hand. “How do you think the Alliance will react?” She shook her head. “There's so much to do that maybe Admiral Hackett and Anderson will be able to talk them into acquitting me, but I doubt it. The Council and the Alliance leadership will need to keep the batarians appeased. I'm probably looking at a court martial followed by the brig, at least for a while. I just hope I can keep Dr. Chakwas and Joker out of it.” He turned to face her. “Is there anything I can do?” She squeezed his hand. “Other than stick with me through it, then get yourself home and try to get your people ready the best you can, probably not.” “Go back to Palaven.” His tone clearly telling her that he considered the Normandy home. “Yeah.” She smiled and looked around her. “Seems strange to think of a ship as being home.” She shrugged. “But then again, I suppose it's not actually the ship.” She sighed and turned to look into his eyes. “This whole thing is just going to be a continuing landslide of suck, isn't it?” He just shook his head again and wrapped his arms around her. “Well, first thing, we get these people to the Citadel, give them a night to just relax and unwind.” She rested her head against him and closed her eyes. “Then the next day, meet with everyone, let them know what I'm doing and allow them to decide what they want to do from there.” “I'm going with you to Earth.” She smiled. “Thanks. Wouldn't blame you if this was a firefight you wanted to avoid. I sure do.” “I have your back, Shepard. You know that.” She nodded. “Yeah, I do.” His unwavering loyalty knocked a big chunk out of her armour, and she found herself fighting back tears again. He squeezed her tight. “You did what you had to do. You saved a lot of lives out there, Shepard.” “And they would have died anyway when the Reapers arrived, I know. Right now, I'm just feeling a little too much like mass murderer for that to be any comfort.” She pulled away and stood, pacing over to the stairs. She stared at the fish swimming blithely around in their tank, the weight of the entire galaxy pressing down on her until she felt as though she might suffocate from it. “Why?” she whispered without turning to look at him. Garrus stood and walked over to her, gathering her back into his arms even though she resisted. “I don't know, Shepard. This isn't going to be what you want to hear, right now, but I think it's what you need to hear. I don't know why all this landed on your lap, but I'm damned glad it did. There isn't anyone else in the galaxy who could have pulled off the things you've done since Eden Prime. There isn't anyone else who will defeat those bastards.” She took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes. After a moment, she nodded. “The why doesn't matter anyway, right? It's mine to deal with regardless, so I just have to keep dealing.” She kissed his cheek. “Think you can manage to find us some food and a couple of extremely strong drinks while I take a shower?” “Yeah, I think I can pull that off.” He went over to her desk, opening the drawer where she kept the hard stuff. She smiled and watched him for a few more seconds before turning away and heading into the washroom.
IV
Shepard stopped just inside the door to the restaurant and looked across the room to the massive table where her team and the Normandy's crew had already assembled. They were all just talking quietly, but she had expected as much, most of them having just endured a trauma she could barely imagine. She smoothed her skirt over her thighs and headed over. “Hey Commander!” Joker called, spotting her first. He raised his glass. “Here's to the biggest bad-ass this side of the galactic core.” Shepard chuckled. “How many of those have you had?” “Not nearly as many as I intend to have.” He raised his glass again. Garrus stood and pulled out the chair between him and Thane. Shepard smiled and gave him a quick, one-armed squeeze. “Why thank you.” She sat and turned to Thane. “How are you doing?” He nodded. “I am well enough, thank you, Commander.” “No, thank you for safe guarding my crew. I knew if anyone could get them through, it was you.” He bowed his head. “It was my honour, Shepard.” The commander smiled as Garrus's hand slipped around her waist and she leaned back against him a little. “How are you feeling, Commander?” Samara asked from across the table. “None the worse for wear, thanks.” The asari nodded, holding Shepard with a compassionate stare. “I understand better than most the toll tragic decisions can take.” Shepard merely nodded, not willing to enter that discussion at the party. She saw, however, that the justicar had meant merely to open a door if Shepard wished to use it at some point. “Then Grunt pops up and yells at this group of about twenty Collectors ... something about their mamas being cockroaches...” Jack's voice carried from further down the table. “I jump up to drag his stupid ass back behind cover, but then bam... down he goes. All I see is his feet flying past my head.” Shepard grinned as she heard Grunt's telltale chuckle. “So now I'm all alone, twenty Collectors gunning for my position. I'm sending out shockwaves and shooting my ass off trying to thin them down a bit before they get to me. They're so close that I can smell their nasty ass breath. I figure that I've already bought the farm, then this idiot jumps up and charges. Hit them like a fucking 800 lb bowling ball and sent them flying. Busted Collectors everywhere, and he saunters back to our cover, chuckling to himself. I was like, 'What the fuck was that?'” “Play dead, use the little helpless girl as bait,” Grunt said and chuckled. “Works every time.” “Yeah, so then I hit him with shockwave of his own.” “Heh. Heh. That was fun.” Grunt tossed back his drink. “Shepard's idea of bait involves running away at top speed and leaving her squad to clear the room of Collectors all by themselves,” Tali said, leaning forward to look down the table at the commander. Shepard shrugged. “What? There were three Collectors in that room; nothing you two couldn't handle, and someone had to keep clearing the path for Legion.” “There's no way you could have known how many Collectors there were,” Tali challenged. “No?” Shepard cocked an eyebrow at the quarian. “How many were there?” Tali grumbled. “Three, but you couldn't have known, not unless you have eyes on your backside, because that was the only part of you we saw.” Tali craned around to look at Garrus. “Well, does she?” He held up both hands. “There's no way I'm touching this conversation.” The servers showed up with menus, saving Shepard from further inquisition. Five minutes later, everyone had their food in front of them and the conversation turned to a comparison between different meals including a great many good-natured jokes made at Gardner's expense. Shepard watched her people, not having much of an appetite, but wanting to etch the evening into her memory, all too aware that it might be the last time she saw many of them. “So, Shepard,” Joker called as the meal wound down, “we really have this place all to ourselves all night?” She nodded. “Yep. Until they kick us out.” “Does that mean we're going to be seeing your moves on the dance floor later?” Jack guffawed. Garrus leaned around her to frown at Joker. “I've seen Shepard dance. Were there moves? I missed them if there were.” “I think her feet move a little,” Tali confirmed. “It's not called the Shepard Shuffle for nothing.” Shepard choked on her mouthful of wine. “You named my dance?” “We had to,” the quarian confirmed, “there's no other way to describe it.” Shepard sighed. “And to think I had my professional dance career all mapped out after the Reapers were dealt with. You have all just crushed my dreams.” “It's okay, Shepard,” Jack called. “You're way to good at killing things for the Alliance to ever let you quit.” Shepard smiled, but looked down at her plate. “Yeah, they'll be using jackhammers and the jaws of life to pry your wrinkly old ass off the Normandy when they decommission it, Shepard,” Jacob agreed. “Is this all you are?” a voice whispered inside her head. “Is death all you have to offer, all you have to look forward to?” Garrus's hand slipped behind her, rubbing her back. She looked up into his eyes and gave him a quick smile. After dinner, the crew broke up into small groups, discussing everything from the Normandy to the Blasto movie. Shepard stayed in motion, doing the rounds to get a sense of how the crew was dealing with their abduction. What she heard gave her hope for the most part, but there were a few people she wanted Dr. Chakwas to keep track of if she could. “Commander.” Thane appeared at her elbow, startling her. He bowed his head slightly. “My apologies.” He gestured toward a table away from the rest of the crew. “May I speak with you for a moment?” “Of course, Thane. What can I do for you?” She followed him to the table and sat. Thane took a seat, but several moments passed before he spoke. “You will be turning yourself over to the Alliance authorities?” Shepard glanced around to make sure no one else would over hear. “Yes.” “I thought as much. I sense the burden of those deaths upon you; it is a heavy one.” He leaned against the table top, his hands clasped loosely. “I must take my leave of you here. My son needs me.” A little smile curved his lips. “Although, I am certain that you foresaw this eventuality.” Shepard nodded and reached out to clasp his hand lightly. “I'm glad, Thane. What time you have should be spent building memories for your son to cherish.” She gave him a considering frown, but then broke it with a wink. “However, I think you need him just as badly as he needs you. It'll be good for you both.” “I knew you would understand. I wish you good fortune and an easy conscience as you face the trials ahead.” He gave her one of his deep, soulful stares, as if he was trying to see all the way down into the places she kept secret. “You will not be alone?” She squeezed his hand at the concern in his voice. “No, Garrus is coming with me.” “Good, even Commander Shepard needs someone to lean on from time to time.” He stood, switching her grip on his hand so that he held her hand between both of his. “Thank you for giving me this opportunity, Shepard. It has meant more to me than I can express. I will keep in touch as long as I am able.” Shepard shook the assassin's hand, reaching up to lay her other hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Thane. If you need anything, all you need to do is call.” She smiled. “I wish nothing but the best for you and Kolyat.” He bowed slightly, took his hand back and strode to the door and out. Shepard watched him leave, then turned to look over the rest of her crew. Jack and Tali were already up dancing, trying to pry Joker off his chair to join them. Tali spotted Shepard and waved. “Come on. It's time to get your shuffle on.” The commander grinned and shook her head. On her way over, she grabbed Gabby and Kelly. “Come on you two. If they're going to make me dance, I need people to hide behind.” Shepard joined Tali and Jack, enduring their laughter with a rueful grin. Garrus, Jacob, Kenneth and a handful of others joined in, the crew forming a loose circle around their leader.
“It's a good thing you have other skills, Shepard,” Jacob said, laughing. “I admit, I thought they were exaggerating until now.” After a few more minutes, Garrus walked over, put an arm around her and spun her up against him. “I can't take it any more. I have to save you from yourself.” Shepard laughed and slipped her arms around him, letting him lead. “See, much better. You just need the right partner.” She nodded. “That, and when two people do it, the shuffle looks intentional. If I can just convert say, 25% of the galaxy's population to my dance moves, I'll become queen of the dance floor. You wait, Vakarian, it'll happen.” Garrus laughed. “Good luck with that.” They danced for a couple of hours, talking, teasing and just enjoying the company of the people who had become like family over the months. The tone of the evening remained subdued, however, and the party broke up just after midnight. Garrus and Shepard caught a cab back to the Normandy when Tali and some of the others decided to explore the Citadel. Garrus sat in the chair down by the bed and pulled her onto his lap. “Good party. I think it was good for them.” Shepard nodded. “Still planning on breaking the news in the morning?” “Yes.” She leaned into him, clasping her hands behind his neck as his grip on her tightened. “You haven't said much about this.” She stroked his neck. “Is it because they could lock me away for ... well, for the rest of my life.” He pulled her in and touched his brow to hers. “We just started figuring this thing out, Shepard. There hasn't been enough...” The sentence ground to a halt. “Yeah.” She stood and pulled him up after her. She kissed him, then started undressing him. “But, the last time the universe separated us, I died, and you became a superhero on Omega. That didn't stop us from finding one another again.” She pulled her dress over her head and threw it across the chair. “If we can overcome those hurdles, I think we can count on meeting up again.” He chuckled. “I suppose that's the way to look at it.” “Damn straight.” She led him to the bed. “Now, are you going to make love to me, or should we just call it a night?” She grinned and kissed him. “I suggest you take the first option.” He chuckled and pushed her down onto the mattress. “I was leaning in that direction.”
V Shepard awoke the next morning in Garrus's arms, pressed tight against him, as he snored softly, his breath stirring her hair. She smiled and closed her eyes, savouring the moment. Despite what she'd said the night before, she didn't know if she'd ever see him again once they arrived on Earth. She pushed aside everything but enjoying the new, strangely safe feeling of being held in her best friend's arms. “Do you think we could just sleep through today?” he asked softly, shifting to curl in tighter against her. She turned over to face him. “We could, but the Reapers would still be a day closer to Earth and Palaven.” “There you go again with your depressing reality.” “Look who's talking, Mr. Optimism.” She leaned up and kissed him, then wriggled loose and sat up on the side of the bed. “God, I wish this whole thing was over.” He reached out and stroked her side with the backs of his talons. “We'll get through it, Shepard.” She squeezed his hand, then got up and headed for the bathroom. She opened a comm channel as she climbed the stairs. “Joker?” “Yes Ma'am?” “Have the crew assemble in the galley at 0900.” “Will do.” Shepard paused at her computer terminal to check her messages. “EDI?” “Yes, Shepard?” “Did you get those transfers handled?” “I did, Shepard. Dr. T'Soni was able to sell all the mineral resources you set aside. The proceeds from the sale were divided evenly amongst the Normandy's crew.” “Thank you, EDI.” “My pleasure, Commander.” Shepard dressed and headed down to the galley, Garrus right behind her. The rest of the crew had already arrived, discussing their guesses as to why she had called them there. She gave them all warm smiles and returned their greetings. She climbed the few stairs and cleared her throat. An expectant and fearful hush fell over the space. “All right,” she began, her voice just loud enough to carry to the back. “To prevent the Batarians going to war with the Alliance while the Reapers cruise through the galaxy, I'll be turning myself in to Alliance forces to face the consequences of destroying the Alpha Relay and the colony on Aratoht. This will most likely mean a court-martial and imprisonment.' 'Most of you are Cerberus, which means you could face terrorism charges if you return with me. Those of you who are not Cerberus, you joined the team to take out the Collectors. This task is done. However, the Reapers are still coming. I only slowed them down by six months, max. You need to get yourselves out there preparing your people to meet that threat any way you can. Since we're at the Citadel, this seems like the opportune time for us to part ways. ” She paused and smiled. “There's no way that I can ever properly express my gratitude for your loyalty and sacrifice over the past few months. Thank you for everything. The Collectors are nothing more than a legend now thanks entirely to you. I wish you all the very best.' 'The Normandy will be leaving for Earth tomorrow at 0700. Anyone not making that trip needs to be off the boat by then. Dismissed.” She trotted down the stairs and spent the next hour saying goodbye. “I've never seen Earth,” Tali said, walking up beside Shepard. She leaned back on one hip and crossed her arms. “I can catch a ride back to the fleet just as easily from there as the Citadel.” The quarian nodded. “I hear it's a nice planet this time of year. I think I'll see for myself.” Shepard chuckled and put her arm around Tali's shoulders. “I really lucked out that day in the wards. Thank god Fist was such a dumb-ass.” Tali bumped Shepard with her shoulder. “I didn't do too badly that day either, Captain.” She straightened. “I'd better get down to engineering and help Ken and Gabby. They're going to turn themselves over to the Alliance here.” Shepard nodded and watched her young friend walk away. When everyone had returned to their duty stations or headed to get some sleep, Shepard headed to the medbay to talk with Dr. Chakwas. “I know why you're here, Shepard,” the feisty doctor said as soon as Shepard walked through the door, “but there is no way you're talking me out of returning to Earth with you. I joined this crew of my own volition and carry neither shame nor regret about my actions, or yours.” Shepard smiled and nodded. “Very well, doctor. I know better than to argue with you.” “You'll get the same answer from Jeff, I'm afraid. We'll stand with you to the end, Shepard.” “Thank you. If it wasn't for you and the rest of the crew, I might actually start believing my press. But I guess if people of such honourable character still believe in me, I must be doing something right.” The doctor snapped to attention and saluted Shepard for what the commander was pretty sure was the first time. “It's been an honour to know you, Shepard, and it'll be an honour to continue to serve with you when you're reinstated and back aboard the Normandy where you belong.” Shepard returned the salute. “The honour is mine, Dr. Chakwas. It's all mine.” She turned and walked out the door. When Shepard reached the bridge, Joker confirmed what the doctor had told her. He intended to return with her to do whatever he could. “I just hope we don't end up sharing a cell,” Shepard sighed. “Damn right, EDI says you snore.” “EDI!” “Yes, Commander.” “Spying on me when I sleep is just a little creepy, EDI.” “My sensors function continually throughout the ship, Commander.” “Well un-function them in my cabin when I am sleeping... and... oh God...” Joker let out a half-laugh, half-cough. “That just occurred to you, didn't it?” Shepard just shook her head. “Definitely un-function them when ...” “When what, Shepard?” “When... umm...” Shepard groaned and reached up to rub her temple. “I think I'm getting a headache.” “I do not understand.” “EDI, what the commander is trying to say is... no listening in on her and Garrus doing the nasty.” He shuddered. “Ew, now I feel dirty.” Shepard just sighed and turned away, heading toward Mordin's lab. “Join the club.” “Can I get a hat?” Shepard laughed and shook her head. “Hey, after everything we've been through, I think I deserve a hat.” “I do not understand, Jeff. I have found Commander Shepard and Garrus's interactions to be quite educational in the areas of emotional relationships and inter-species sexual behaviour.” “And now a jacket!” he shouted after her. “A leather one!”
VI
Shepard looked at herself in the mirror, straightened a stray lock of hair, then smoothed and tugged on her dress blues. They felt tight. “I think I've gained weight since I died.” “10 lbs worth of tech maybe,” Garrus replied from the other side of the bathroom door. “So, are you ready to go, or do we steal the Normandy... again... and take off?” Shepard walked out the door. “That would technically be the third time I stole the Normandy, wouldn't it?” She chuckled. “I'm pretty sure the Illusive Man isn't happy about my parting gift.” She sighed and held out her arms. “So, how do I look? Properly official, contrite and chastened?” He reached out and touched her cheek. “You look ready.” She nodded. “Yeah, I guess I am. Let's get this over with.” She took a deep breath and headed for the door. Joker, Dr. Chakwas and Tali were waiting at the airlock. When she stepped through the door, they all saluted her. She smiled. “Thank you.” She walked between them and opened the outer hatch. At the end of the ramp, Admiral Anderson was waiting with two other officers and a small platoon of marines. “Damn, judging by the reception committee, we must be bad-ass renegades,” Joker said and whistled. “Imagine if Shepard hadn't turned herself in,” Garrus agreed and chuckled. “Ah well, there wouldn't be enough Alliance soldiers on earth to take Shepard down if she didn't want to go.” Shepard laughed. “Thank you for your wild overestimation of my abilities.” She started down the gangway. “Hey, count up the geth, mercs, collectors... we have to have taken out 20,000 or so by now.” He sighed. “Of course, ammo might be an issue if we're stuck in here fighting the entire planet.” “Heat sinks. Ammo is still unlimited.” “Pft,” Joker scoffed. “Yammer all you want about efficient cooling, all I hear is limited ammo.” Shepard chuckled, but then forced her face straight as she approached Admiral Anderson. A few feet away, she stopped, snapped to attention and saluted. “Admiral Anderson, I hereby surrender myself and the Normady SR2 to Alliance custody.” “I accept your surrender, Commander Shepard.” Anderson returned her salute, then reached out to shake her hand. He gave her a tight-lipped smile. “We're riding the leading edge of a massive shit-storm, here Shepard.” He motioned for her to walk with him. “If you hadn't agreed to surrender yourself, we'd already be at war with the Batarians. Someone is stirring up a lot of hate out there.” “I did just destroy one of their colonies, Anderson.” The doors into the Alliance Vancouver headquarters opened before them. Shepard stopped dead, sudden panic gripping her. Give her a thousand angry batarians and a rifle, she wouldn't even blink, but how did she fight this enemy? Anderson turned back and nodded. “Don't worry, Shepard. I gave Udina the Councillor position just to come back for this. Hackett and I have your back, and the defence committee is going to be relying on you heavily over the next several months. There's no way they'll turn you over to the Batarians.” “Thanks, I hadn't even considered that possibility.” Despite Anderson's assurance, it was Garrus's hand on the small of her back that got her through the doors. When they shut behind her, she couldn't help wonder how old she'd be when she walked back out, if she ever did. The Admiral stopped outside a sealed door, looking past Shepard to her team. “The commander has to go alone from here. Doctor, you and Moreau need to go with Captain Labuschagne. Vakarian, Tali'Zorah... Corporal Natiri can show you to guest quarters.” “With all due respect, Admiral,” Garrus said, stepping up until he was pressed against the back side of Shepard's arm. “Until this is settled, where Shepard goes, I go.” Shepard hid a smile. Ash had been right. With all due respect was just a polite way of saying kiss my ass. “You're an agent of an alien government,” Anderson argued. “Any sensitive intelligence...” “I'm Shepard's agent. If you need me to sign over internal organs or my first born to ensure nondisclosure of sensitive information, so be it.” The two men stared at one another for a moment, then Anderson nodded. “Very well, I'll get you the necessary clearance and nondisclosure agreements.” He opened the door and stepped through. Shepard turned back to what was left of her crew and took each of their hands. “Thank you. I'll see you all soon.” She looked up at Garrus, and gave him a wry smile. “Your first born?” He shrugged. “You never know. Stranger things have happened.” She took a deep breath and walked through the door. “That they have.” Three severe looking officers sat at a table on the far side of the room. Shepard set her shoulders and walked toward them, head held high, back straight. She stopped at attention and snapped a rigid salute. “Commander Jane Shepard, as a alleged agent of the terrorist organization, Cerberus, it has been decided that your involvement in the Alpha Relay incident will be tried by tribunal rather than court martial,” a handsome, older female admiral said after returning Shepard's salute. “What's the difference?” Garrus asked Anderson softly. “Tribunals are for war criminals and enemies of the Alliance captured or surrendered, usually during war,” Anderson whispered back. The admiral ran a hand over her tightly pulled back steel-grey hair as if ensuring that no stray locks had dared leave formation. “The verdict rendered by this tribunal will be final. Do you have any questions?” “No Ma'am,” Shepard replied. “Very well, you will be remanded into Admiral Anderson's custody until this matter is settled. He is making arrangements for your security during the Tribunal.” “Have there been threats?” Garrus asked, ignoring Anderson's warning mutter as he stepped forward. The admiral stared at him through narrow eyes for a moment. “Garrus Vakarian. I assume by your presence here that Admiral Anderson is seeing to the proper clearances?” “I am, Admiral Nedev,” Anderson replied. “Very well. Understand that although we appreciate your loyalty to the commander and your concerns for her safety, we will tolerate no disruptions in our proceedings. If you cannot conduct yourself accordingly, you will be removed, and incarcerated if necessary.” Garrus took a step forward, seeming to grow a foot taller. “Have there been threats made against Shepard?” he asked again. “There have, primarily by a Batarian organization calling themselves The Proud Remains. Do not concern yourself, Commander Shepard is in no danger, Mr. Vakarian.” The admiral sighed as if she couldn't believe she had to deal with such a tawdry situation. “The tribunal will begin in these chambers tomorrow at 1000 hrs. Until then, we stand recessed.” She stood, the other two following suit. Shepard saluted and remained at attention until the three officers left the room. She let out a long breath, her shoulders falling, and turn to face Garrus. He'd already turned to question Anderson about The Proud Remains and the nature of the threats made against her. She watched him, an odd and familiar sensation flowing through her, making her knees weak and her hands tremble. As he glanced over his shoulder at her, then turned to face her, Shepard groaned internally and muttered, “Oh crap.” He frowned. “What is it, Shepard?” She just shook her head. Now was definitely not the time to tell him that she'd just realized she was falling in love with him. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Of all the stupid things to go and do... and now... of all times. “I'm so screwed,” she grumbled under her breath. “Come on, Shepard. I'll show you to your quarters,” Anderson called, “and we can get to work on the small rainforest worth of paperwork we're going to need for 1000 tomorrow.” “Yes Sir.” She nodded. Everything else had to hit the back burner. She needed her wits about her during the tribunal. She couldn't afford distractions. The squad of marines took formation around them the moment that Shepard stepped through the door. Their bodies formed a wall between her and the crowded corridor filled with Alliance personnel going about their business. Shepard stayed alert, keeping an eye out for anyone or anything suspicious. She hated not having a gun at her side. It felt like being naked, despite her shields. She eyeballed the side arm on the closest marine. If worse came to worst, she could probably grab his gun. They stopped at an elevator, her guards pushing them off to one side as the elevator emptied. “Should have had a dedicated elevator,” Garrus grumbled. “This is unacceptable.” One of Shepard's guards turned to face them. “Not for long.” Shepard felt the impact of a bullet even before she saw the pistol in the marine's hand. “The Illusive Man sends his regards, Shepard.” The world slowed to half speed. Shepard doubled over from the force of the shot, snatching for the nearest pistol as she went down. She hit the ground and turned over, getting off a shot into her attacker. Garrus landed on her, firing as well. Six shots from both guns pounded into the attacker, throwing him ten feet, where he slid into a post with a sickening crunch. “Ouch,” she grunted, giving Garrus a gentle push. “Your elbow is dissecting my liver.” He rolled off of her onto his knees. “Are you okay?” She made a face. “Sure, just a minor gut wound and turian body slam damage. Damn disruptor round went right through my shields.” She frowned as she saw blood trickling down his face, and scrambled up onto her knees to get a closer look at the wound. “Are you okay?” He nodded. “Yeah, just a graze.” Anderson and the remaining marines hauled them both to their feet and shoved them into the elevator. Anderson entered a code and they took off. “You okay, Shepard?” the admiral demanded. “No thanks to your crack team of guards,” Garrus grumbled. “Did any of you squeeze off a single round?” He shoved the pistol he'd grabbed into the chest of the marine he'd taken it from. “God dammit, right in the protection detail.” Anderson paced two steps and back. “We'll get you medical attention as soon as we get to your quarters.” Shepard gave him a pained smile. “No offence if I ask for Dr. Chakwas.” He stopped, then gave a reluctant smile and shook his head. “Some things never change. You're still a pain in the ass.” Shepard nodded, grunting softly from the pain. “Yeah, that's fair.” Anderson and the marines hustled her out of the elevator and down the hall into a small suite. Shepard hobbled over to a chair then waved Garrus over and pulled him down into the seat next to her. “Come here, let me look at that graze.” He sat and turned his head for her to look. “You're just trying to see if it will leave another scar. You're a twisted woman.” Shepard just gave him a quick wink. The graze had already started to clot. “You'll live, and probably no scar.” “Sorry to disappoint you.” He undid her uniform far enough up to check on her wound. She laid her hand over his. “You threw yourself on me and took a bullet, Vakarian. Disappointed isn't even in my vocabulary at the moment.” He stared into her eyes for a second then turned his attention back to the bleeding hole in her side. “Looks like you'll be adding another beauty mark.” He looked up at Anderson. “Is Chakwas on her way?” “Already here, Garrus,” the doctor answered, hurrying into the room. She clucked her tongue with disapproval as she saw Shepard's side. “Can't leave you alone with a battalion of bodyguards for even a second, can I?” Shepard chuckled. “I guess not. I'm just glad he went for the fast shot and didn't aim for my head.” The doctor looked around, then nodded toward the kitchen table. “Hop up there. I'll have it sorted in a minute.” Once Shepard's wound was looked after, she, Anderson and Garrus sat down to go over all the details of the tribunal. “You've been given court appointed counsel, Shepard. Lt. Gigrani was supposed to meet us here.” Anderson grumbled. “Hopefully she'll arrive before 1000 tomorrow.” “All the batarians have for evidence against you are a couple of outgoing messages when you were looking for pickup off the asteroid's surface, and the testimony of a surviving member of the project staff.” Anderson passed her a datapad with transcribed testimony. “Apparently, when the batarians tried to apprehend one of the escaping shuttles, all the staff on board killed themselves rather than be captured. Only reason they have this Dr. Sorkin is because he missed when he tried to take his own life. He's clearly indoctrinated, ranting day and night about being denied the blessings the Reapers promised to him.” Shepard read the aimless rambling. “Is this even going to be admissible as evidence?” Anderson grumbled under his breath. “The Alliance is in a tough spot, Shepard. If they find that there isn't enough evidence to hold you, the Batarians will declare war, and they'll come after you with a vengeance. So, yes, they have already ruled to allow Dr. Sorkin's testimony.” “So, basically, this entire procedure is a sham,” Garrus said. “Present evidence on both sides, and then find Shepard not guilty enough for court martial and dishonourable discharge, but guilty enough to keep under lock and key until some mystical alignment of the stars, then turn her loose?” “Pretty much.” Shepard shook her head. “I'm going to be sitting on my ass in a cell when the Reapers blast the chair out from under me. This is insane.” After another hour of discussion, Shepard excused herself to lay down while Garrus signed away his first born, and probably a kidney or the turian equivalent, in order to sit in on the tribunal. She shut the bedroom door and eased herself onto the bed with a soft groan. Garrus had pulled the shades on all the windows, but thin strips of orange pink shone between the metal slats, painting the walls like an indoor sunset. Earth. Not the way she'd imagined returning when she boarded the first Normandy two and a half years earlier. How had she turned from Saviour of the Citadel into a pawn? She sighed. Maybe she'd always been a pawn, and just hadn't realized it. The door opened. “Hey.” She smiled and rolled over to look at him. “Hey.” “One of the guards recommended this,” he said, setting a tray down on the bed. “Fried chicken and mashed potatoes? She said it was comfort food.” He sat down next to her, resting his arm on her hip. Shepard lifted the lid. “Thanks. It smells good. Not feeling much like eating right now, though.” She reached up and laid her hand on the chest plate of his armour. He moved the tray over to the table beside the bed and gave her a gentle shove. “Move over.” Shepard chuckled and scooted over, moving back in as he laid down at her side. “Sorry about the armour, but I'm not taking any chances. Anderson had all the rest of your guards interrogated, and brought in a few new ones. Still..” “I don't care if you have a mako strapped to your ass, Vakarian.” She tugged a pillow over his arm and laid her head in the angle of his shoulder. “Just put your arms around me.” “That I can do.” She closed her eyes and reached behind her to drag the overhang of the blanket over her. When she was tucked in warm and snug at his side, she leaned up and kissed him. “Thanks for being here, Garrus.” He nodded. “Get some sleep, Shepard. I'm not going anywhere.” He nuzzled her brow. “You're stuck with me.” VII
“I'm not entirely sure that lunch intends to stay with me,” Shepard whispered to Garrus. “Three days of this has given me permanent indigestion.” He nodded and gave her hand a squeeze as he left her at her chair and crossed the barricade to sit in the gallery directly behind her. Shepard sat down and glanced behind her at the people filing into the room. Her communicator indicated an incoming call. She scowled and turned to Garrus, pointing to her ear. All her communications were supposed to be blocked. The turian stood and scanned the room, instantly suspicious. As soon as he reacted, her bodyguards formed a living wall around her, trusting his instincts without even needing to know what was going on. The commander opened the channel. “Shepard.” “You claim that you tried to give the people on Aratoht 1 hour and 51 minutes warning. You have 1 minute and 51 seconds.” Shepard jumped up, her eyes searching the gallery. At the very back, a batarian walked to the door, put his hand on it, then turned back to look her in the eyes. He tilted his head in a mock bow then left the room. “Garrus! It's Balak!” She turned to the door at the front of the room. The admirals were filing in to take their place behind the desk. “Shepard?” Garrus called. “He said I had 1 minute 51 seconds.” “Bomb?” Shepard shrugged. She looked to Admiral Nedev. “Clear the room!” “Commander, what's going on? I told you no...” Shepard leaped over the table, ran the few feet, grabbed two admirals by the wrist and literally flung them toward the door. She grabbed Nedev and dragged the protesting admiral to the door. “Shepard!” “I just received a threat, bear with me.” She pushed the admiral out the door. “You too, Shepard.” Garrus and her bodyguards closed around her, pressing her back toward the corridor. “How long?” “About a minute and a half.” “You had better start explaining, Shepard,” Nedev demanded, following, trying to see her past the wall of armour. “ I received a communication that said I was getting 1 minute 51 seconds warning. When I looked around the room I saw Captain Ka'Hairal Balak, the Batarian terrorist who tried to destroy Terra Nova, leaving the room.” The elevator opened, and Shepard was swept inside, Nedev following. “We have about forty five seconds,” Garrus said, hitting the elevator controls. “Why'd he give me so much time?” Shepard asked. She looked around her. “He had to know I'd leave. If he wanted to blow up an empty room...” “Crap.” Garrus hit the elevator panel, then again. “It's not responding.” Shepard pushed her way to the controls, then stopped. “They confiscated my omnitool.” Garrus set to work. “No use anyway, it's fried it all to hell.” “Boost me up, and someone give me a pistol.” She grabbed one of the several pistols thrust at her and shot the lock on the access hatch. Shepard lifted a foot, stepping into Garrus's hands as he bent down. She punched through the hatch with her shoulder, then climbed up. “Shepard?” “Twenty three seconds and enough explosives to obliterate the elevator.” She looked around, but found no way to dispose of the explosives. Only thing to do was to stop the elevator and hope they could get out. Twenty seconds. She aimed the pistol at the elevator controls. “Hold on and be prepared to force the door.” With two shots, she took out the power couplings. The elevator lurched as the emergency brakes kicked in, throwing Shepard back down through the hatch. Someone caught her and set her on her feet. Garrus forced the door wide enough to push through, then reached back and grabbed her, dragging her through with him. They fell five feet to the floor. Garrus dragged her up, managing two strides down the hall before a shockwave threw them to the floor, followed by a blast of flame and a deafening roar. Shepard jumped up, teetering precariously for a moment, before her equilibrium returned. She bent down and rolled Garrus over. “You okay?” she yelled, deafened by the blast. He nodded, accepting her hand to pull him up off the floor. A cloud of dust and smoke billowed around her and she began to choke. She put a sleeve over her nose and mouth. The air shimmered with reflective particles. “What the hell was that bomb made of?” They ran back to the elevator. The admiral and four bodyguards were sprawled on the floor just outside the burning, twisted remains of the death trap. Shepard grabbed a breather mask and tossed one to Garrus. Once she could breathe, lifted the fire extinguisher off the wall, blasting it over the door, putting out enough of the fire to crawl into the wreckage. The whole back side of the car was gone, along with whomever had been standing there. Two of her guards were dead, another badly burned and missing a foot, but still breathing. “Garrus, I need a hand.” He reached in and helped her ease the injured marine out onto solid footing. Shepard climbed back out and knelt next to the admiral. “Admiral Nedev, are you okay?” The admiral shook her head and rolled over, revealing a large chunk of shrapnel sticking out from under her shoulder blade. “Dammit.” Shepard undid her dress tunic and shrugged out of it, laying it over the injured admiral. “Hold on. Help is on its way.” She crawled over to the soldier from the elevator. “Someone have medigel?” She ripped a strip off the bottom of her t shirt and wrapped it around the stump of the soldier's leg. “Pistol!” Someone thrust one in her hand. She shoved the muzzle through the loops of fabric and twisted it around and around until the bleeding stopped. Garrus gave the soldier medigel, and the woman's breathing evened out a bit. “Anyone else hurt?” The rest of them responded in the negative. She looked up at Garrus and shook her head. “Too bloody close.” He nodded. “Good thing one of us was using their brain, or we'd all be at the bottom of that shaft.” “It wasn't the blast I was expecting seeing how many canisters were attached to the detonator.” She swiped two fingers over the floor, picking up some of the shimmering material, and rubbed them together. “Maybe because of this stuff. I've never seen an explosive that left anything like this behind. It's really fine.” Garrus looked at it and shook his head. “Some sort of chemical or biological agent, maybe? Only enough bang to disperse it?” Shepard shook her head. “Sure hope not. I'd hate to grow any extra limbs.” “Or have any drop off,” he added, shrugging. “Inconvenient.” Emergency workers and marines descended on the scene, taking over. Shepard crawled backwards out of the way and collapsed against the wall. As she sat there for a moment, her leg began to ache. She twisted it off to one side and saw a wide gash opening her leg to the bone just above her ankle. “Crap.” She pressed her hand down on it to stop the bleeding. “When someone has a moment, I could use some medigel over here.” An hour later, Shepard flopped down onto the couch in her suite, laying sprawled out, one foot on the couch, the other on the coffee table. “I'm getting too old for this.” “Imagine how I feel, Shepard.” Anderson walked in the door, heading over to sit on the opposite couch. “How the hell did a batarian terrorist get into Shepard's tribunal?” Garrus demanded. “He was signed in as one of their observers under an alias.” Anderson shook his head. “We have the whole building on lock down. The batarians have had to send DNA identification and verification on the rest of their observers, and those observers are going to be sequestered in the building under guard until the tribunal is over.” “Can't they just say I'm guilty and get it over with?” Shepard draped her arm over her eyes. “I mean, I admitted that I blew the damned thing up, how much more cut and dried could it be?” “They have to jump through all the hoops, Shepard. If the batarians can point to anything as proof that the Alliance is protecting you...” She sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. I know. War.” “The Hegemony is pushing hard for you to be extradited to a batarian court, Shepard. What they'd do to you if they got their hands on you...” Shepard shuddered. “I'm familiar with what batarians are capable of, Admiral. How is Admiral Nedev?” “Fine. They treated her for a punctured lung. She'll be released tomorrow, and has already set the tribunal to reconvene at 0900 the next day.” “Tough old bird,” Shepard replied, smiling and shaking her head. “How many did we lose in that elevator?” She uncovered her eyes and sat up. “Five.” Anderson sighed. “Could have been a lot worse, Shepard.” “Any word on that strange powder? Do we have to worry about spontaneously generating limbs?” “Its biological, but so far seems harmless. It's not viral, nor bacterial. No signs of spores, toxins or catalysing agents. It's a complete mystery, but our researchers are taking it apart now.” She looked over at Garrus. “Yeah. Okay, I'm suddenly really tired, so I'm going to lay down for a while.” Anderson stood. “I'll check in later on.” Shepard gave him a quick salute then headed for the shower. VIII
“Commander Jane Shepard, it is the judgement of this tribunal that there is insufficient evidence of war crimes to hold you over for court martial. However, due to your admitted affiliation with the terrorist organization, Cerberus and your involvement in the destruction of the Alpha Relay, this tribunal sentences you to incarceration in an Alliance penal facility for a period of five years. We will reconvene in one year to review this judgement.” There was a roar of rage from the batarians and a cry of dismay from her supporters, leaving Shepard feeling like a leaf held precariously in place between two opposing tornadoes. Shepard remained standing. “You have something to add, Commander?” Admiral Nedev asked, motioning for silence. “Yes Sir. About Dr. Karin Chakwas and Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau. I am ... was their commanding officer.” The admiral gave her a tight smile and nodded. “Although we have scheduled interviews with both of them regarding any intelligence they might have in regards to Cerberus, no charges or punitive actions will be taken against either of them. We are satisfied with the testimony that they joined your crew strictly to assist you with the Collector problem.” Shepard saluted the panel. “Thank you, Admiral.” “This tribunal stands dismissed.” The three officers stood and filed out of the room. Shepard sank into her seat. It hadn't gone as well as she had hoped, but neither had it turned out as badly as she feared. Still, instead of being out there preparing for the Reapers, she was going to be sitting on her ass when they arrived. “Shepard.” Anderson walked through the barricade and held out his hand. Shepard saluted, then shook his hand. “Admiral. Thanks for speaking up on my behalf.” “Of course, Shepard. Not much any of us could do. We can't risk war with the Batarians. I've had you placed here in isolation with a dedicated guard. The Proud Remains just released a five million credit bounty on your head. Besides, we need to keep you close. The defence committee is going to be calling on you in the next weeks to testify, bring them up to speed as much as you can on what we're dealing with.” He glanced over his shoulder at the rest of the brass. “I'd better start in, Shepard. I'll be by to see you in a couple of days.” Shepard shook his hand. “Thanks, for everything, Admiral.” Anderson gave her a sharp nod and strode off. Two guards appeared on either side of her chair. She sighed and stood. “Okay, gentlemen.” “Shepard...” Tali walked up and hugged her over the barrier. Shepard smiled. “Don't worry about me, Tali. Get your people ready, and keep an eye on Admiral Xen. Don't let her and Han'Garrel start any wars.” “I'll do my best, Shepard.” The quarian hugged her again then stepped back as Garrus walked up to the barrier. Shepard took a step forward, but one of her new guards reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her. Shepard turned to look him in the eye, staring him down until he released her. Nodding, she turned away and walked over to Garrus. “I...” He shook his head. “I'll stay in touch with Anderson, see if there's some way we can get you out of there.” Shepard sighed. “It's okay. Get your people ready, Garrus. They've got the strongest military in the galaxy, and the Reapers are going to test it past its breaking point. Don't worry about me. I've been through worse.” He reached out for her hand, squeezing her fingers when she took it. “It doesn't sound like they'll let me, but I'll try to stay in touch.” “So will I.” She gave him what she hoped was a convincing smile. “Stay safe out there, Vakarian.” He nodded and let go, backing up a step before turning to follow the rest of the crowd out the door. “Garrus!” He stopped and turned back. Shepard hopped over the barricade and strode over to him, wrapping her arms around him. “Thank you.” He held her tight. “I'll always have your back, Shepard.” She pulled away, then kissed him. “I'll see you soon,” she whispered. “Bet on it.” He released her as her guards ran up. This time, they both grabbed her arms, pulling her back through the barricade and out into the detention area. “There's no need to man handle me, gentlemen. I'm not resisting.” Shepard glanced back over her shoulder, then the door shut behind her.
* * * * *
“Garrus, It's been a week. My cell is bearable, just. It's more like a really tiny apartment, so I can't honestly complain. I get out an hour a day to run laps or work out on my own. I have a battalion of guards that Anderson hand picked. They seem to be good people. Anderson is being careful, especially since TPR upped the bounty to seven million credits. Through the little chatting that we've done, I've figured out that most of my guards had relatives on Eden Prime during the Geth attack or on Horizon when the Collectors hit. One of my guards, Beth, had a grandmother on Horizon. Her Nan, as she calls her, now lives with her here, on earth, and is constantly sending me food. At the rate the pasta and desserts are rolling in, my dress blues are definitely not going to fit when I get out. My first appearance before the Defence Committee is tomorrow. I'm not sure they're going to be productive meetings, but it can't hurt to try, I suppose. I hope wherever you are, and whatever you're doing, you're safe. Shepard”
“Garrus. I've met with the Defence Committee ten times over the past three weeks. They listen, they ask considered questions, they respond with measured answers. They seem to be taking the threat seriously, but they won't tell me anything. Anderson assures me that he and Hackett are doing everything they can. I just feel so useless. Hell, even these messages don't go anywhere. Every day I send one to Alliance Comms and they politely refuse to send it. Same with my messages to Tali, Dr. Chakwas, Liara and Joker. I feel like I'm trapped in a tiny bubble outside reality. I don't know if I can stand a year of this let alone five. Of course, I'm sure the Reapers will hit Earth long before that, and I'll have a giant picture window view of the end of everything. The Alliance has chased off everything from spy drones to attack drones and cameras, speaking of my massive window. Everyone wants a piece of me, either dead or to splatter across news headlines. Thank god ANN gave up Shepard Watch a couple of weeks in. Only so many days you can report that Shepard is still in the same room, still sitting on her ass, but apparently a few new books were delivered. Rereading this message, it sounds a bit bitchy. I guess I am bitchy today. Had a really bad dream. I don't remember what it was about, but it was one of those dreams that leaves you with the emotional remains. All I know is that when I awoke, I was feeling complete despair. Everything and everyone I cared about was gone. Gah, time to go to the gym with James, one of my guards, and challenge him to run the obstacle course. That always makes me feel better. He's massive, a human tank, and strong as a elephant, but I get him on speed and agility every time. Well, except for last time, he grabbed my foot as I was going over the wall and tied it into the rope. Such a cheat. I hope you are staying safe out there. I'll add this message to the archive and just pray that god or the spirits, or whomever, is looking out for you. Times like this, I wish I had Ashley's faith. Thinking of you. Shepard”
“Garrus. Been in here what... three months now? Let me tell you, Jack had the right of it. Time gets funny in a cell. There's this little boy who lives in the building downwind of my cell. Cute little guy, maybe 8 or 9. He's going to be one of the Alliance's best one of these days. He puts in more hours running his fighters around the rooftop than most fighter jocks clock in their ships. Spend a lot of time watching him save the galaxy. Let him loose on the Reapers, I say. He'll kick their asses. Anderson came by yesterday. Just making sure I was staying sane. Not much he can do for me. I tried to get him to smuggle some messages out for me, but no dice. Oh well. Guess they'll just have to join the Shepard Incarceration Archives. He didn't say anything definitive, but it sounds like he and Hackett are doing their best to prepare as much as they can with everyone from the Council to the Alliance Defence Committee bucking against them. I don't know how we're going to do this, Garrus. Even if we had ten years to build up our forces, we'd still be outgunned by a huge margin. Don't suppose you have five hundred or so Destiny Ascensions hidden somewhere, do you? It's making me crazy being in here. I can feel them like a storm building in the back of my skull, pressing closer all the time. It scares the hell out of me. Worse is that I'll probably be sitting here on this damned bed, trapped in this cage, when they land. Wherever you are, and whatever you're doing, I hope you're having luck getting your people moving. I know that you, at least, are fighting the good fight. I pray that you're okay and taking care of yourself. Anderson promised to let me know if he heard any bad news about any of my people. I guess that's something. I miss you. Wish like hell there was the slightest chance of getting this to you, or of you being able to contact me. Take care. Shepard.”
“Garrus. Five months. Seems like its been a lot longer...”
“Hey, Shepard!” Shepard looked up from her datapad. “Hey Beth. What's up? Let me guess. You've come to spring me. The getaway car is hovering just outside.” The blonde guard chuckled. “No such luck. I was watching ANN in the guard room on my break, and they announced something coming up in the next segment that you might want to see.” “Oh?” Shepard turned on her vid screen. “It's not the return of Shepard Watch, is it?” “ ... Network has learned that the Turian Hierarchy has established a task force to address the impending Reaper invasion, Primarch Fedorian.” Shepard winced at the all too familiar voice. “How does she still have a job... and an intact jaw?” Beth chuckled. “You've got to admit, watching her get decked is one of the highlights of the news these days.” “Does this mean that the Council races are now admitting that disgraced Commander Jane Shepard was, in fact, neither delusional nor lying?” “Miss al Jilani, it is not the Turian government's practice to reveal confidential defence details on the galactic news, nor am I qualified to comment on Jane Shepard's mental health.” The turian Primarch pushed past the reporter, moving out of camera. “I think 'disgraced' has become my legal first name,” Shepard sighed. “It's not you who bears the disgrace, Ma'am.” Beth leaned against the door and nodded toward the screen. “Garrus Vakarian!” Khalisa yelled, pushing through the crowd. “Oh,” Shepard said softly, her breath catching as the camera closed in on Garrus. She leaned forward, forearms on her knees. She smiled. He looked good. “Garrus Vakarian, Khalisa Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News.” “I know who you are, Miss al-Jilani,” the turian replied. “You were on Earth during now disgraced Commander Jane Shepard's tribunal. Inside sources claim that you testified on her behalf, and now the turian government is rumoured to have formed a task force to deal with the Reaper threat. Was Commander Shepard correct? Is the Council prepared to admit that the Reaper threat is a clear and present danger?” “I cannot comment on what the Council believes or is prepared to admit. Jane Shepard has been telling the Council, telling everyone, that the Reapers are a clear and present danger for the past three years. The Reapers are in the galaxy, Miss al-Jilani, and our best hope of saving ourselves is sitting in a cell instead of preparing for when they reach the next relay.” Garrus started to walk away, then turned back. “Miss al-Jilani, if I hear you refer to Jane Shepard as disgraced again, I'll discover for myself how good it feels to lay you out cold. Jane Shepard is the finest, most honourable soldier I've ever had the privilege of serving with. She's an individual of rare strength, compassion and intelligence. The disgrace isn't that she took the actions she did to protect the people of this galaxy, it's that she's imprisoned for acting while everyone else sticks their head in the sand.” He walked away, disappearing into the crowd as the camera moved back to the reporter. “That's some boyfriend you've got there,” Beth said. Shepard turned and gave the marine a confused scowl. “Boyfriend?” Beth straightened and pointed to the vid screen. “You aren't going to try to tell me that man isn't in love with you. He threw himself in front of a bullet and now a reporter for you.” “I... we're not... I mean...” Beth laughed. “Ah, I see. You haven't gotten to the admitting it stage. Understood. Well, I hate to break it to you, Shepard, but you've got yourself a boyfriend.” “Shouldn't you be guarding something?” The marine just laughed, gave Shepard a jaunty salute and stepped back out the door. “Oh, by the way, Nan says to save room, she's sending spaghetti tomorrow night. You're not supposed to fill up on what she called Alliance garbage compactor waste.” Shepard made a face. “Well, I won't be now, thanks to that description. Thank your grandmother for me. Her care packages make my day.” Beth shook her head. “She thinks it the least she can do, considering. As for me, I only still have a Nan because you got to Horizon on time.” She nodded toward the vid screen. “Well, and I suppose that fellow there deserves some of the credit too.” Shepard nodded. “Yeah, I couldn't have done any of it without him.” Beth mouthed the word boyfriend, grinned, and closed the door before Shepard could react.
“Garrus. The little boy is back out saving the galaxy on his rooftop today. I've been watching him most of the morning, thinking about all the different ways my life could have turned. If the batarians had never come to Mindoir... I may never have joined the Alliance Navy. My father wanted me to be a diplomat. He wanted me to have the same blessings that he'd experienced... a loving mate, family, fulfilling work, faith. He believed that he lived an enviable life. I never thought much about family, a life outside the Alliance. It was my family, my friends, my future for as far ahead as I could see. I can't really regret any of the things that have happened the last few years, as they resulted in lives saved. As an officer in the Alliance, that is the end goal. Disasters averted, lives saved. Maybe it's just going stir crazy in this room, but suddenly that clear path is murky...”
“Commander, the Defence Committee needs to see you...”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 11, 2013 18:31:01 GMT 1
Mass Effect - The Internal Machinations of Exploding Stars.
Part Two - During Mass Effect 3. (Little chunks of off duty time meant to give background for the events that follow the Crucible.)
Menae After Convincing Victus to be Primarch
Victus turned toward the shack. “I'll grab my kit.” Shepard nodded to the new Primarch and stepped back. She watched Victus for a moment, admiring the way he held himself, and the way his people responded to him as he spoke with them. He seemed like a thoughtful, intelligent soldier, qualities she hoped would translate to diplomacy, especially considering his idea to bring in the Krogan. A hothead could rain disaster down upon them in a nanosecond. Garrus walked in front of her, moving to speak to a small group of solders. She shook her head and smiled as her stomach flipped nervously. He'd been as glad to see her as she was him. He'd changed in the six months they'd been apart. He moved with a confidence that he hadn't had before. Authority rested well on his shoulders. She sighed. No one had ever been a more welcome sight. “Stop staring,” James hissed in her ear. “Try to play a little hard to get.” Shepard jabbed him in the ribs with the butt of her Mattock again. “You're going to bust my armour if you keep doing that.” He chuckled when she threatened him again. “Okay. Okay. Stare away.” Victus stepped down out of the shelter and gave Shepard a nod. She returned it and headed for the shuttle. The soldiers lined up along the path to the gate, saluting as the Primarch walked past, Garrus a step behind him. Shepard skirted the crowd, not wanting to insert herself. She beat them to the shuttle and jumped up, taking a seat. James, Garrus and the Primarch followed a couple of minutes behind. Garrus sat next to her. “Still avoid any sort of recognition, huh?” Shepard gave him a crooked smile. “When I can. Too often, it comes along with bullets.” He chuckled. “You have my thanks for the timeliness of your arrival, Commander,” Victus said, sitting across from her. She nodded. “Glad to help.” Shepard leaned back, letting Garrus and the Primarch take up the conversational slack. “Normandy rendezvous in two minutes, Commander,” Steve called back. Shepard gave him a little wave of acknowledgement and bumped Garrus with her elbow. When he turned to look at her, she asked, “Can you settle Primarch on the Normandy? He can bunk in Life Support. I'll get changed and meet up with you in an hour at the weapon scanner.” “Weapon scanner?” She chuckled. “Apparently, the crew of the Normandy can't be trusted with weapons. Its just inside the door to what used to be Mordin's lab but is now a half finished conference room.” “So the Alliance took her and gutted her?” Shepard nodded. “Yep. Can't blame them for the most part, the Normandy being Cerberus tech and all, but I swear if I trip over another cable...” He chuckled and stood as the shuttle settled to the deck inside the shuttle bay. James popped the hatch and stepped out. The Primarch stepped to the threshold and turned back. “Permission to come aboard, Commander Shepard?” She smiled and nodded. “Permission granted, Primarch Victus.” Garrus led Victus to the elevator, but turned back as Shepard laid her guns down on the equipment bench. “Life Support is still there, right?” She grinned. “Yeah. Everything that's important is exactly how you left it.” He held her gaze for a moment, then nodded and stepped into the elevator. Shepard stripped off her armour, checked it for damage, then headed up to take a quick shower. Once clean, she fed and watered her hamster, fed the fish and hurried back down, meeting up with Garrus and the Primarch at the elevator. “You have an impressive ship, Commander,” Victus said. “Garrus gave me a quick tour.” Shepard smiled and led the way to the scanner. “Thank you, Primarch. The Normandy has saved our hides more times than I can count.” She ushered them through to the war room. “You can use any terminal you need, Primarch. Just make yourself at home.” “Commander, Councillor Tevos on the QEC for you.” “Excuse me.” Shepard turned and trotted up into the communication room, opening the channel. “Commander, I received word that you intend to invite the Krogan to the war summit.” Shepard stifled a sigh and nodded, setting in for what would prove to be a fruitless discussion. Twenty minutes later she disconnected the call, grumbling under her breath. “Sure, wish me luck, but don't actually help. That would break your completely useless streak.” She turned and headed back down to the war room. The Primarch was alone, working at a terminal. Had she spent that long arguing with Tevos? “Primarch. Sorry about that.” He turned. “Of course, Commander. Thank you for welcoming me aboard the Normandy. Your support is a welcome relief considering that in the last five minutes three members of the Hierarchy have called me a madman.” His mandibles dropped, then fluttered. “Garrus left to do some... calibrations.” She chuckled. “Yeah, he does a lot of that.” She paused. “The asari councillor had declined our invitation citing that helping would be a waste of time considering the history of blood between your races and the Krogan.” She sighed and shook her head. “She might be right. If we extend our hand, it may get bitten off, but if we don't try...” Shepard nodded. She walked to her war asset terminal then turned toward him, leaning a hip against the console. “Humanity gets a lot of flack from the rest of the races for being upstarts -- toddlers barely out of the cradle and already wanting to play with the big kids.” She crossed her arms. “But the more I deal with the Council and get dragged into everyone's dirty laundry, I see a big upside to having no two thousand year history of old grudges, slights and bad behaviour dragging behind us. Seems like its a bag that no one can just put down.” She straightened and met his gaze. “I respect that you're able to set it aside.” He stared at her for a moment, then nodded. “It's been an uneasy peace... No, not peace. It's been an uneasy victory. I just hope that the krogan are willing to set the past aside as well.” “Urdnot Wrex is smart and a savvy leader.” Shepard smiled and shook her head. “A lot more so than he wants anyone to realize. He's dedicated to leading the krogan into a new future and knows that part of that is standing shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the races. That said, he's also krogan. He won't allow himself to look weak, nor will he allow his people to look weak. He's proud and strong and full of bluster, but in the end, that's what it is. He won't let anger and resentment hold his people back. Treat him like the Primarch of Tuchanka, that's how he'll react. Treat him like a brute, and you might as well just slam your head against a wall.” Shepard paused and cleared her throat. “Sir.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Thank you for the insight, Commander. You know Urdnot Wrex well?” “He was on my team that brought down Saren and Sovereign. We had our disagreements, but I trust him to do what is best for his people.” Victus leaned back on one hip. “The sooner we have this summit, the sooner we'll know where we stand.” He glanced back toward the terminal. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Commander?” “I will leave you to it then. If you need anything, just ask.” He gave her a turian smile. “Thank you, Commander.” He stepped back to his work station, but she felt his eyes on her back as she left the war room.
The Citadel Shepard turned away from Darner Vosk, pausing as she heard Garrus's voice in the little shipping container enclave. She leaned against a couple of pallets and smiled as she watched him. He'd come into his own in a big way while she was locked away. Shepard sighed as she listened to him organizing the turian refugees. She'd missed him worse than she'd even realized. Now he was back, she couldn't stop staring at him if he was around. She'd truly cared about Kaidan, but this... this feeling was a whole new monster. The night before, she'd laid in bed for almost two hours cursing the fact they were two decks apart, yet not sure what to do about it. Now, she was pretty sure she knew. He enquired about food that had been waylaid then turned, scanning the crowd of displaced, his eyes sliding right over Shepard without acknowledging her, then coming back to lock onto her with a stare that made her heart race. She smiled as she pushed away from the pallets and walked toward him. “Shepard.” Her name came out almost as a sigh. “How long have you been standing there?” She gave him a shy smile. “ A few minutes. Just taking in the view.” She looked around. “Looks like things are brutal down here.” He brought her up to speed with the scope of turian casualties, then took a step toward her. “How are you holding up?” She shrugged. “Not sleeping so well these days. Nothing I can't handle.” She smiled and reached out to touch his arm when he told her that he needed her. It was the first time he'd dropped the armour to admit something like that. “I have to drop by the hospital to see Kaidan, and then head to a meeting with Barla Von, but meet me back on the Normandy at 1700?” He nodded. “Sure.” He nodded over at the wall to her right. “I'll be interested to see if their claim to accurately predict your response 7% of the time is true.” Shepard turned to see what he was talking about and came face to face with a holographic version of herself. “Oh for pity's sake. That stupid VI of me is still floating around?” Garrus chuckled. “It's entertaining.” She grumbled, but smiled and shook her head. “Laugh all you want, Vakarian. We'll see how you feel when they launch yours and it starts complimenting people's hair and telling them what sort of pet they resemble.” She turned away, then back. “Okay, I've got to go. See you later, and if you need anything desperately down here, just let Steve know. I'll authorize him to get you whatever you need.” “Thanks Shepard.” She reached out and gave his hand a quick squeeze then headed out. When she was out of earshot, she opened a channel to Aria. They needed to communicate about what she would and wouldn't do to bring the Blue Suns under the Asari's control.
* * * * * After visiting Kaidan and patching up the friendship left battered by their mission on Mars, Shepard headed to Barla Von's office. During her mission to find Saren, she'd amassed a tremendous amount of wealth that, even after paying two years of back taxes and penalties, had grown into an embarrassing fortune thanks to Barla Von's savvy investing. “Commander Shepard, it's good to see you.” The volus gestured for her to take a seat. “You've come to check on your affairs?” She nodded. “I wanted to see what I can do to help the refugees. I understand that I don't have unlimited resources, and what I do have is likely tied up, but I want to help if I can.” “Certainly. Here is your portfolio.” He passed her a datapad. She scanned the list, then looked up at him, surprised. “Factories? I own factories? What are these?” He turned to his monitor. “This one is a textile mill. Produces high end clothing. This one manufactures prefab housing. This one manufactures high end sports cars, and the last one supplies prepackaged meals to space liners, public facilities, and government offices.” “We aren't going to need any of these things until the was is over. Would it be possible to repurpose the factories to make blankets, cots and other staples? Maybe redirect the food to the refugees and military?” “All of the factories have cut back to a single shift, and most are talking about closing because of the war. Repurposing the factories would take a great deal of capital, labour, materials ...” “I understand that it isn't as easy as my just saying, make it happen, but could I do it? Bottom line. Is it even possible?” His respirator hissed a few times, then he nodded. “I will have people to look into it.”
“Do I have any facilities that could be used for refugee housing?”
He hesitated longer this time, then nodded. “You have several warehouses, but they are full. It would mean disposing of a great deal of product.”
She sighed at the horror in his voice at the thought of wasting so much potential profit. “Right, but I'm willing to lose some product if it means even a few people have somewhere a little more comfortable and secure to stay until this war is over. Maybe the product can be recycled? Help ease the need for materials?”
Barla Von nodded. “I admire your concern for the well being of others, Commander. I'll speak to the managers of the facilities and see what arrangements can be made.”
“I have someone in mind to help get the shelters up and running.” She read further down the list. Investments galore, but nothing that she could see being of benefit.
Shepard nodded. “Now, let's talk about my liquid assets. I want to give three people authorization to access my accounts.” “Liquid assets are hard to come by these days, Commander. The Council...” She nodded. “I know that my funds are tied up in the war effort, but is there anything? If my agents need to make some purchases, rent or purchase accommodations, is there anything they could draw from? None of it will be removed from the Citadel's economy.” She sighed. “This is the only place we can buy anything these days.” That question earned an even longer, more painful hesitation, but after a few moments, he set to work on his computer, eventually passing her another datapad with a figure. She grinned. It was more than she had anticipated. “You're very good,” she said. “I should have kept up with it, but I've had a few things on my mind, and I never imagined that I possessed these sorts of resources.” He gestured toward the datapad. “I need you to fill in the authorization for the people you wish to be able to access your accounts.” She did so. “I want to bring some people to meet with you before I ship out in 36 hours. Would it be possible?” They set up an appointment for the next day, and Shepard headed down to the refugee docks, still stunned by what the volus financier had done with her money in two and a half years. She turned into the center enclave to find Kelly Chambers still sitting in the door of one of the containers, speaking with a small group of Batarian refugees. Kelly turned to look up at Shepard and smiled. “Back so soon?” Shepard nodded. “Yeah. I have something to discuss with you. Could I borrow you for a little while?” Kelly excused herself, then stood and dusted off the back of her trousers. “Sure, Shepard. I always have time for you.” “Thanks Kelly, I appreciate that.” She motioned for the young woman to follow and headed down to the next enclave, hoping Garrus was still there. She found him assisting a surgeon who was trying to save a turian soldier with a gaping wound where two of the plates on her torso had been torn away. She winced from it, but then Garrus pressed her into service helping hold the patient down. Unfortunately, five minutes later, the young turian died, her injuries too severe for the crude facilities. Shepard sighed as the surgeon covered the body and it was removed on a stretcher. “She needed to be at the hospital.” Garrus nodded. “No room.” He looked around. “We need better facilities down here. We have some doctors... even Dr. Chakwas is here somewhere, but we just don't have the meds, the space, the tools...” Shepard laid her hand on his armour's chest plate. “I might be able to help with that. Can you come and sit for a few minutes? I met with Barla Von, and we started some balls rolling that might be able to make conditions a little more bearable for all these people.” He nodded. “Sure, just let me get cleaned up.” Shepard looked around as he cleaned the blood off his armour. “You said Dr. Chakwas is here somewhere? If the medical situation is as dire as it looks, maybe she should meet with us as well.” They found the doctor tending a badly burned batarian girl in the first enclave. “Commander Shepard.” The doctor looked up and gave the commander a tight smile. “Doc, when you get a minute, could you meet us at the Apollo Cafe, the restaurant in the commons?” “I'll head up after I'm finished here.” The batarian child looked around the doctor. “Are you really Commander Shepard?” Shepard winced, not sure if admitting it would help or hurt. For all she knew, this child could have been told she and the boogeyman were on first name terms. She didn't want to frighten the little girl, but she nodded. “Yes, sweetie, I am.” “You're going to make the Reapers go away?” She clutched a torn and filthy doll to her chest. Shepard opened her mouth to speak the truth, then decided against it. She crouched down and smiled. “You bet I am.” The child bent down and whispered to her doll, then listened as the doll replied. Finally, she gave Shepard a crooked, pained smile. “Can you get them to give my daddy back?” Shepard cleared her throat against the blockage that squeezed it shut as she met the hope shining in the child's eyes. She swallowed, blinking hard against the sudden burning in her eyes. How did she answer? She looked to Garrus who just returned her stare like he'd never been so grateful not to be her. At last, Shepard turned back. “I don't know if I can do that, sweetie, but if you tell me his name, I'll keep an eye out for him, okay?” The child waited patiently for Dr. Chakwas to snip off the end of her bandage, then got up and walked over to lean close to Shepard's ear. “My name is Darka Trallek. My daddy's name is Lorher.” “Is your mommy here with you?” Shepard asked. The little girl gestured behind her. “She's sleeping. She is very tired ever since we got here.” Shepard stood and brushed the child's cheek with a finger. “You take good care of her, just like your daddy would want you to.” Darka nodded. “I will.” Her doll swinging from her hand, she hurried back into the container and sat on the side of a cot. Shepard turned and fled for the elevator. Kelly took her hand and squeezed it. Shepard forced the emotion of the unexpected encounter back behind the wall, taking deep breaths until she could talk without being afraid of her voice cracking. Once she had everything shoved back behind the wall, she called Steve and asked him to meet them as well. Steve met the three of them at a table off to one side of the patio outside Apollo's Cafe. They sat down, and Shepard placed a datapad on the table. “Okay, long story short. I have a lot of money and resources. Not enough to save the galaxy by any means, but maybe enough to help improve the lot of the people trapped here... at least a little. I own four factories that Barla Von is going to try to find people to refit so instead of producing fancy clothes, prefabs and other things we won't need, they will be making blankets, food, cots, whatever. Steve... you're the procurement man, do you think you could spare some time to help him with that?” Steve looked over the datapad then nodded. “I'll definitely find the time for this, Shepard.” Shepard turned to Kelly. “I have warehouses that I would like to turn into shelters even if we just have to take everything out and toss it in a street somewhere. You are in the camps with the refugees every day. Do you think you could organize work details to get them changed over, fill in extra shifts at the factories, whatever...?” Kelly nodded. “There's no shortage of people down there who wish there was something they could be doing. Putting together a decent shelter so they can get out of these docks... I'll have no problem finding volunteers.” “Would you be willing to run the shelter end of things? Gather the people and resources you need. As I said, the funds are not endless, but hopefully there's enough to get some of these people somewhere decent.” Dr. Chakwas walked up on the last and sat down. “What are we doing?” Shepard nodded for Steve to pass the doctor the datapad. “I have some resources, and after seeing how the doctors down in that camp have to work... surely there is some way we can set up a facility for them. What they are working with now is insane.” Dr. Chakwas looked over the information. “I have contacts upon whom I can call. I'll see what I can do to get it started, Shepard. Obviously, running anything is going to be a challenge from the Normandy, but as long as you avoid most of the bullets fired at you, I should be able to devote some time to helping improve the medical conditions on the docks.” “I'll talk to Bailey,” Garrus offered. “He'll know the smugglers still looking to work, the ones crazy enough to go out there and scavenge. If they can bring in enough salvage, it'll save a lot of money.” Shepard nodded. “Good thinking. Steve, Kelly and Garrus, you three already are authorized to access my accounts. I'll get you added as soon as we're done, doctor. Tomorrow at 1600, Barla Von can meet with all of us. He's bringing in the managers of the different interests that will be effected and my lawyers, so maybe we can get some details hammered out. I'll invite Bailey as well. He's as busy as hell, but still, having C Sec read in would be an asset.” Kelly stood and bent over to kiss Shepard's cheek. “This is brilliant, Shepard. I'll get down there and start mobilizing people. No one can shove more obstacles out of their path than someone looking to find a safe place for their family. I'll see you tomorrow.” She smiled at the others and hurried away. “I might know some pilots who can help as well, Shepard,” Steve said. “I'll get working over my contacts and see what we can get happening. I've retrofitted a lot of ships in my time, but never factories. This should be interesting.” Dr. Chakwas looked up from the datapad and smiled. “You never cease to amaze me, Shepard. I'll start in as well. See you back aboard the Normandy.” Shepard took the datapad from the doctor's hand and set it down with a sigh. “I really hope this helps. I haven't got the first clue what I'm doing, but I have to do something.” She looked up at Garrus and shook her head. “Finding the right people for the job is a good first step.” He took her hand under the table. “I'll see you on the Normandy in a couple of hours. Meanwhile, you should see what the Shadow Broker can offer as well.” He squeezed her fingers and got up. He walked a few feet, then turned back. “Someone might think you don't have enough to worry about already.”
She chuckled. “Yeah. See you in a bit.” After she checked in with Liara, Shepard spent the rest of the afternoon running, trying to put together pieces of what felt like 15 puzzles. A visit with Bailey led to running back to the commons to speak with the Eclipse leader, then back down to the refugee camp. Speaking with a much less inebriated and much more surly General Oraka sent her on a search for black market weapons dealers. She arrived back on the Normandy with literally seconds to spare before she'd agreed to meet Garrus. She looked at her shower and sighed. “Not enough time.” She dumped the stack of datapads on her desk and flopped into the chair. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes. Sleep was so damned elusive. During the day, she kept herself running, occupied with everything from clearing the galaxy of Cerberus and Reapers, to the Normandy's supply of toilet paper. At night, though, when she crawled into bed alone and the lights went out, the whispers began. Once she fell asleep, the whispers became dreams that woke her time and time again. She didn't know how much longer she could keep up her current pace before she had a meltdown of some kind. Behind her, the hamster squeaked and started scratching around in his bedding. She spun her chair around and picked up the box of his food. “Hey there, Mordin. How's it going, little buddy?” She stood, lifted the lid off his habitat and filled his bowl. “What have you done to this water dish? Gross.” She lifted it out and took it to the bathroom, cleaning it. “There you go, my small furry friend.” She said as she set down the fresh water. “Who takes good care of you? That's right, Mama Shepard does.” “I hope you're talking to that rodent of yours.” She spun around, turning bright red when she saw Garrus standing just inside her door. “Ahhh, yeah... hamster.” She laughed and shook her head. “You just get back?” he asked. She nodded. “Yeah. Long day of running back and forth across the Citadel.” Looking him up and down, she took a long breath, sighing. “Damn, you look good to me, Vakarian.” He chuckled and held out his arms. “Well, I did put on my... what do you humans call it?” Shepard laughed and closed the distance between them. “Your Sunday best?” “Yeah, that's it.” “You trying to seduce me, getting all dolled up?” She stopped within arm's reach, but leaned back on her hip and crossed her arms. “If I was, would it be working?” She sobered and reached up, running gentle fingers over his lip then down his neck. “Definitely.” She stepped into him and wrapped her arms around him, pressing herself against his length. He let out a long breath, his whole body softening and held her, resting his cheek against her hair. Shepard relaxed into his strength, allowing him to support her as she pushed back the fear and pain that tried to overwhelm her every time she dropped her shields. Garrus rubbed her back and just let the silence settle between them, comfortable and deep. Shepard lost track of how long they stood there, making up for the long months of being light years apart. She just closed her eyes and savoured the feeling of being held; the hard, angular contours of his body against hers, the scent of him, his breath stirring her hair. “I missed you too,” he whispered as she began to ease back. He reached up and stroked her cheek with the back of a talon. She smiled and took his hand, leading him down to the couch. “Come on, let's see if we can't just relax for a couple of minutes.” She sat, gently pulling him down next to her. “Garrus?” Now that she had him there, she didn't know how to talk to him about what she wanted. He turned, lifting a knee up onto the couch so he could face her, studying her as if he could decipher what it was she wanted before she asked. “What is it?” She took a deep breath and turned to face him, sitting cross-legged. “We face death and some of the worst ugliness in the galaxy every day.” She broke off, unsure how to continue. She leaned back against the couch, resting her arm on top of the cushions. “My sense of security has always been a pretty thin veil. I could see the truth through it, but still, I clung to it, telling myself that as long as it was there, I'd be okay... I'd be in control. While we tracked Sovereign and took out the Collectors, I watched that veil grow thinner and thinner. Now, the Reapers have torn it completely.” He reached up and laced his fingers with hers. “What are you trying to say, Shepard?” She gave him a soft, almost nervous smile. She didn't know what she'd do if he said no. She'd worked very hard not to need anyone or anything since she was sixteen, but he'd stripped that away as surely as the Reapers had stripped away her illusions of control and safety. She sighed. “If I have to climb into bed every night with the memories of the horrors I witnessed that day running roughshod through my brain, then get out of bed the next morning to face all new ones, I want to be curling up in your arms when I get into that bed and waking up in them each morning.” He stared at her for a moment, then his mandibles fluttered. “Are you asking me to move in?” She nodded. “I guess I am. It wouldn't disrupt the crew. They seem to know as much about us as I do. Hell, Kaidan even knew.” He nodded. “Yeah, so did my dad. Not that it was classified, but I was surprised.” He looked away, shaking his head a little. “You saw Kaidan at the hospital?” “Yeah. He's doing better. Still looks like hell, but he seems strong. Getting restless being trapped in bed.” She squeezed his hand, then stood and headed over to her desk, pulling out a bottle and two glasses. She splashed the fiery liquor in both, then sat down, taking a sip from her glass that burned all the way down. Garrus picked up his glass. “This still that bottle of dextro friendly stuff we started last tour?” When she nodded, he tossed it back. He stared down at his empty glass, obviously trying to sort through the problem she had placed before him. “And Kaidan asked about us?” “Yeah, he did.” Shepard took another sip, then reached over and set her glass on the table. “He asked if there was something between us.” Garrus looked up, meeting her eyes. “You loved him.” She nodded. “Yeah, I was surprised by how much I still cared when he reappeared back on earth, then nearly got himself killed on Mars.” He poured another glass and downed it. “Then why are you asking me to move in, Shepard?” She reached out and took his hand. “Because as much as I care about Kaidan, I was never able to just relax and be me. I always had to be who he needed me to be.” She shook her head and sighed. “Maybe that doesn't make any sense.” She squeezed his fingers and looked into his eyes. “You were such a pain in the ass.” She chuckled. “I dreaded going down to check up on you because I felt like I did nothing but lecture you. Still, I knew you were someone extraordinary underneath all that frustration. You'd just started to figure things out, to settle into your own skin, and then, I got spaced.” She shook her head, stopping him when he opened his mouth to speak. “Let me get all this out there, Garrus.” She picked up her glass and took a sip. “It's not easy for we tough guys to talk about this sort of stuff.” He nodded. Settling deeper into the couch, Shepard took another sip, then balanced the glass on her knee. “I got spaced and abandoned everyone I cared about. They went through a hundred different kinds of hell while, for me, two years passed in the blink of an eye.' 'When I woke up, everyone was gone. Kaidan didn't answer any of the messages I sent. Tali had gone back to the flotilla. You'd disappeared. I was alone, surrounded by people I would've shot on sight two years earlier. But, the Illusive Man told me about the colonies, and someone needed to do something, so I clenched my jaw, held up my head and soldiered on.” She took another sip. “When I walked into that room on Omega and looked into your eyes, I knew that somewhere in those two years, you'd needed me, and I hadn't been there. I also knew that because of that, your heart and spirit had been broken. I've never felt a pain quite like the one that realization caused, and I swore to myself that I'd do whatever I had to in order to make it right.” “Shepard...” She shook her head. “Then you went down, and the pain was replaced by raw, helpless terror. He shifted a little closer, his grip on her hand tightening. “Why?” She shook her head, trying to sort through the barrage of things she'd thought and felt at that moment. “I guess mostly I was afraid you were going to leave me alone just as I'd found you again. Just as I'd realized how much I cared about you, pain in the ass and all.” She took a deep breath and looked up from her glass to meet his eyes. “I thought I was hallucinating because of the anaesthetic and pain meds, but you were there the whole time, weren't you?” She nodded. “The doc chucked me out a couple of times, but yeah, I hovered pretty close until she was sure you were going to pull through.” She emptied her glass, uncomfortable with laying herself so bare. She liked her walls, they kept things ordered and manageable. “Then you were back, but still so wounded by anger and hurt. As we worked through, you began to heal and became the one thing that Kaidan could never be ... you became my best friend ... my refuge. No matter what, I could just be me. I never needed to wear my Commander Shepard mask. If I was weak, you supported me. If I was scared, you pushed or comforted.” He reached out and caressed her cheek. “Thank you.” She laid her hand over his. “For what?” He shrugged. “For a lot of things, but mostly for trusting me to be that person.” She smiled. “I trust you completely, Garrus. Somewhere around the Collector base, we became a unit. I know where you are without having to look, know what you are feeling or thinking before you say anything.” He nodded and pulled her toward him, gathering her into his arms as she turned so that her back was pressed against his side. He leaned in, his mouth next to her ear. “That pain you saw ... I can tell you the exact moment it happened.” He sighed. “An Alliance cruiser was the first ship to answer the Normandy's distress call. It took them hours to reel in all our escape pods. As we were rescued, everyone who wasn't injured just huddled together in their shuttle bay, watching, waiting and hoping. Shepard reached up and laid her hand against his cheek. “Joker's pod was the last one to be brought aboard. When they pulled him out, he was in rough shape and hysterical. Kaidan and I went over as they rushed him to their medbay. I couldn't understand most of what he said, but he managed to tell us that you'd been spaced. The moment he said those words, I felt a light go out.” He paused, squeezing her gently. “Going back to C Sec just made everything darker, so when things went bad there, I headed to Omega and started doing work that brought you back, at least a little. When Sidonis betrayed my team, he hadn't just killed my men, he'd killed you all over again.” Shepard nodded and turned to slide her arms around him. “Neither one of us can make any guarantees, Garrus, but if something does happen, I want us to know that we spent every moment we could together. I don't want us to regret having wasted what time we had.” He nodded. “Okay Shepard, you've got yourself a roommate.” She laughed and leaned up to kiss him. “Good.” She grinned. “Someday, when this war is over, I'll give you all the messages I recorded for you while I was locked down.” “Messages?” “Mmmhmm. I tried to send one every day, but every day they refused, so I stashed them. It made my room seem bigger to imagine what you were up to out here.” “The galaxy would have been a lot better off if you'd been out here with me.” She nodded. “Ironic that because I delayed the Reapers for six months, I spent those six months sitting on my ass instead of preparing for when they got to the next relay. But then again, nothing the Alliance or Council has done in the last three years has made any sense.” “But you just dug in and kept pushing, trying to get them to see the truth.” She nodded. “It's been frustrating and painful, but it had to be done, no matter how much they tried to discredit me. Luckily, there have been some amazing things to balance out all the bullshit.” “Like?” He stood and held out a hand. Shepard slipped her fingers into his, letting him pull her up and lead her to the bed. “Like this.” She put her arms around him and kissed him.
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 11, 2013 18:50:15 GMT 1
Part Two - con't
Surkesh
Shepard climbed the ladder and hit the top running as she heard Mordin calling for help. Sliding around the corner, she raced along the upper tier toward the checkpoint. Someone had to get between Cerberus and the Krogan female.
“Shepard!” Garrus bellowed.
“Hit them from behind. I'll draw their fire.” She hit two troopers with overload, stunning them long enough to put rounds through their helmets. Her HUD showed three on her right. They cut down her shields in less time than it took for her to realize they were there. She lashed out with overload again and sprayed fire across their positions.
A shooter on her left finished off her shields, and she grunted with pain as the next bullet hit home.
“EDI, incinerate on my left!” Another bullet, this one in the inside of her right leg. Shepard finished off the last one on the right, then tried to find cover, but she was in the open, so she hit the trooper with overload, trying to shock him out of cover. Where the hell were Garrus and EDI?
At last fire from that side ceased and she stumbled over to the console, releasing the pod to transfer to the loading area. She leaned against the surface and hit her medigel, sighing as it flowed through her, but the relief was short lived as she heard the sound of something heavy falling from the sky, and fast.
She took cover as an Atlas slammed into the ground, its engine whirring to life with a whine that sent shivers up Shepard's spine. She signalled to Garrus and EDI and the three of them overloaded the things shields, then began whittling at its armour. Shepard reloaded her Mattock and stuck her head out of cover just in time to take a rocket to her shields before she could even squeeze off a shot. She crouched back behind the crate, taking a couple of deep breaths and another dose of medigel, silently cursing Wrex as he kept yelling in her ear.
A double dose of incinerate and a heat sink's worth of bullets and the thing exploded. Shepard let out a sigh of relief and pushed herself up, heading for the shuttle before the adrenaline wore off, and she couldn't move.
Back aboard the Normandy, Shepard retreated to her quarters without stripping off her armour, not wanting the rest of the team to see the damage. Before she even got to her door, she knew she was in trouble, and partway down the stairs, she lost both her strength and balance and fell.
“Shepard?” Garrus rushed in the door, but stopped a couple of strides in. “Where are you?”
She lifted a shaky hand from the floor. “Down here.”
“What the...”
“Staring at me is an option, if you want to go that way. Or you could, you know, help me up,” she grumbled. “Did you need something?”
“I did, but this has driven it from my mind.” He stepped around her, grasped her around the chest and levered her up onto her feet. “How did you get wedged down there?”
“Just tripped. Bad luck.” She sat on the couch.
“Yeah, right.” He sat on the coffee table and began unbuckling her armour. “You don't usually wear this stuff up here. Why today?” He let out a particularly vulgar turian curse when he lifted off her chest plate and saw the hole in her armour's skin and blood staining her Tshirt underneath. “Dammit Shepard. Why aren't you down in Med Bay?”
“I've come back worse than this. Medigel has already sealed it. If I get some sleep, I'll be fine tomorrow.”
He lifted her shirt to look at the damage. “That may have worked when you came up here alone, Shepard, but now... you're going to Med Bay even if I have to carry you.”
“I'm fine, Garrus.”
“You can either walk, or the crew can watch me carry you down slung over my shoulder with your ass in the air.” He stared at her, the plates above his eyes raised as he waited for her to decide.
Shepard sighed and rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She got up, but immediately wobbled and had to use his shoulder to steady herself.
“Yeah, that's about what I thought.” He got up, wrapped an arm around her and helped her to the elevator. When the door closed behind them, he looked down at her. “How many nights have you gone to bed like this?”
Shepard shrugged. “It's just par for the course, Garrus. If it's bad enough, I go to Med Bay.”
“And what about what happened on Surkesh today? You ran into the middle of a squad of Cerberus without backup. You left EDI and I thirty seconds behind and nearly went down.” He sighed and shook his head. “It was reckless, Shepard.”
“I had to get between Cerberus and the female. If I hadn't, they would have gotten that containment shield down.” She looked up at him. “The galaxy is burning, Garrus. If I play it safe, we could lose it all.”
“And what if we lose you?” he demanded.
“Then you pick up where I left off and get this thing done, Garrus.”
“That's insane, Shepard. I'm no diplomat.”
She turned to look into his eyes. “And that's complete crap. Of course you are, Vakarian, and somewhere in there, you know it. It's just easier to let yourself be the outcast, the misunderstood poor example of his race. Well, you aren't. You're the single finest example of a turian that I've ever encountered. So, deal with it, and stop holding yourself back.” She stumbled a little, but caught herself against the wall. “Whoa, too many words, not enough blood flow, but I mean it. If I fall, it'll be up to you to take over and see this thing through. This ship and its crew will be yours to command, and they will look to you ... hell, the entire galaxy will look to you, and you can't let them down. No more than I can.”
Weaving a little, Shepard led the way off the elevator. As she limped stiffly toward Med Bay, she had to admit that Garrus was right in this instance. She should have gone straight to Dr. Chakwas when they got back.
“Shepard...” Dr. Chakwas stopped what she was about to say and brought up her omnitool. “Hm. Decided to donate a quarter of your blood volume to the salarians, did you?”
Shepard just grumbled.
“Well, get the rest of that armour off so that I can get a proper look at you.”
Yawning, Shepard did as she was told, wincing every time she revealed a new blood stain, and Garrus cursed. The worst one spread down the inside of her right thigh. The blood had soaked her trousers from six inches above her knee all the way down to her ankle before the medigel sealed it.
“Just for future reference, you were about 90 seconds from not leaving Surkesh, Commander,” Chakwas said and sighed. “I knew I'd remember why I liked the lab. Get yourself up on a bed.” The doctor glanced over at Garrus. “Don't worry, she'll be as good as new in a day.” She shaded the windows.
“Shepard!” Mordin hurried into the Med Bay. “Took significant fire during mission.” He gave her a cursory looking over.
“Took a lot of fire for me,” the Krogan female said, following the Salarian scientist into the room.
“It's all in a day's work,” Shepard said, climbing up onto the closest bed. Settled on the edge, she looked over to Garrus and smiled.
He nodded toward the door. “I'll go get you another set of clothes so Dr. Chakwas can just throw those out.”
“Okay, thanks.” Shepard watched him leave, a confused frown wrinkling her brow.
“You scared him,” the doctor said after the door closed behind Garrus. “He forgets, as we all do, that you're not immortal, ten feet tall and made from Miraculum.” She passed Shepard a gown and unfolded a blanket, laying it over the end of the bed. “Get out of those clothes, and we'll get you fixed up.”
Three hours later, Dr. Chakwas declared her fit to return to her quarters. Garrus shadowed her up, and when she paused at her terminal to check her messages, he continued on down to the bed. Without saying anything, he changed and climbed under the blanket, laying facing her side of the bed.
Shepard finished up a few things, then headed down to climb in next to him. After a couple of minutes of silence, each just looking into the other's eyes, Shepard sighed. “You haven't said anything in hours. Are you okay?”
He shook his head.
Leaning up, she stroked his neck and leaned in to kiss him. “I'm sorry Garrus, but their lives... your life... “ She sighed and shrugged. “They're always going to be worth more than mine.”
He reached out and pulled her in tight. “We're taught from birth that in war, people die. You honour their life, respect their sacrifice, but then you let them go and move on.” He scoffed. “It sounds good in theory until it comes to ...” He turned his face into her neck, breathing her in. “I've never been here, Shepard. Never faced this. I think we've made a mistake.”
Shepard lifted his hand to her lips and kissed both fingers, then held it against her cheek. “Yeah, probably, but as terrifying as it feels sometimes, I wouldn't change it. When I get afraid that I'll lose you, I just look at you and try to savour the moment.”
“Is that why you are always staring at me?”
She chuckled and turned to kiss him. “Well, that and I find you inexplicably beautiful.” She grinned at his reaction. “One day, regardless, we're going to lose one another, Garrus, but I intend to enjoy the hell out of whatever time we get.”
He pulled back a little. “You've been spending way too much time around turians, Shepard.”
“I know, soon I'm going to completely lose my sense of humour.”
He shrugged. “You probably won't even notice the loss.”
She smacked him and curled up against him. “That was low, Vakarian. Very, very low.” She sighed and closed her eyes, smiling as he pulled her in tight. “Now, I could really use some sleep.”
After Bomb on Tuchanka Shepard lifted herself up on one elbow, moving slowly so she didn't wake Garrus. She leaned down and kissed him softly, then slid out from under his arm and sat up on the side of the bed. For a moment, she rested her elbows on her knees and lowered her head into her hands. Damn the dream. She shuddered, then quickly glanced back to make sure she hadn't woken Garrus. It was bad enough that one of them wasn't getting any sleep.
Tonight another voice had been added to the chorus, a voice she hadn't even gotten a chance to know before it was snuffed out. She got up and grabbed her sweats off the back of the chair, slipped them on and headed out. Maybe some tea would help. She headed down to the galley. It was deserted. Anyone who wasn't on duty was sleeping. Smart people. The days just seemed to get longer and uglier, and staying rested was about all any of them could do to fight back against that ugliness. She turned the kettle on and dropped a tea bag in her cup. At times she was tempted to come down on Javik for his completely black and white view of the galaxy, a view which would effectively leave him, Garrus and herself fighting the Reapers on their own, but from the moment of his birth, his days had gotten longer and darker. What would her view of the universe be in thirty years if they didn't defeat the Reapers soon? She finished making her tea and headed into the starboard observation lounge. She sat looking out at the stars. How many parents were out there right now feeling the same pain the Primarch was feeling? How many children like Darka Trallek were waiting for parents who would never come back, the truth of their fate a nightmare that would leave them sleepless forever? The door opened. Shepard glanced over her shoulder as the intruder chuckled softly. “We need to stop meeting like this, Shepard.” Primarch Victus bypassed the couch, walking to the window to look out at the peaceful, twinkling shards of light. She nodded. “Yes Sir.” She sipped her tea, comfortable in the Primarch's presence after their nightly conversations. After a moment, he walked over and sat, letting out a heavy sigh. “Commander, I must apologize to you. You were right about my needing to trust you if this is going to work.” She nodded. “Vulnerability doesn't come easy to people like us, on any level. Taking the risk to drop the shields... sometimes nothing can be harder. Especially when so much is riding on every decision.” She shook her head, weighing whether or not her next words would help or harm. “I'm truly sorry about your son.” He leaned forward, hands clasped. “Tarquin's mother died when he was very young. Career military on both sides all the way back to the beginning of the empire, then raised by a father dedicated to defending the empire, he never saw any other path. The crash was more my fault than his. He grew up watching me flout convention and was always trying to get my attention by being quicker, more clever.” “Primarch, you didn't kill your son.” Shepard turned to face him. “That's all on Cerberus.” She rested her arm on the back of the couch. “He was an exceptional and brave young man who died too young saving people he didn't even know. You know better than anyone, it's not fair that the ones who care more and possess more heart are the ones who die first.” The Primarch nodded. “Somehow, all the rhetoric doesn't have the same ring when it was the child you helped take their first steps, stayed up nights worrying over when they were ill, or later, when they broke curfew on their first night out with the car.” Shepard watched him for a moment, admiring the strength and obvious depth of feeling. He and Garrus were a lot alike, neither the typical turian stereotype. Feeling an empathetic lump forming in her throat, she stood and walked over to the window. “Everyone said the crash was his fault, but as much as I admire someone willing to stand up and own their choices, I can't say there was blame or if there was, it was his to own. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. Sometimes both choices suck, and all we can do is make the one we hope gives us the best chance.” “Do you have any children, Commander? Family somewhere?” Shepard grinned and shook her head. “No, no kids. Never even thought about it, really. The Alliance was my family.” “Was?” She tilted her head and shrugged. “Comes a time when you ask yourself, is this what I want the rest of my life to look like? Sometimes an alternative appears that allows you to see yourself taking another path. Right now, my family is pretty much all contained inside this hull.” “Garrus?” Shepard felt the heat of a blush rising up her neck and looked down. “Too personal. My apologies.” He chuckled. “The only time I couldn't take my eyes off someone, watching her the way that Garrus watches you, I married her.” “It's not really too personal, we just ... let's just say a lot remains unspoken at this point. So much is up in the air with the war that who can know what tomorrow will bring.” “He's a good man, a strong soldier, a natural leader.” Victus slid a little lower on the couch. “The best,” Shepard agreed. “You wouldn't have thought him poised on the edge of greatness when I first met him, but I look at him now and know that he's capable of anything. It's been a privilege to witness.” She chuckled, her expression teasing. “I suggested that your job might be in his future, but he doesn't see it. Yet.” Victus gave her a turian smile. “He can have it any time.” Shepard shook her head and returned to the couch. “No, you're the best man for the job. I only saw Primarch Fedorian on the news a couple of times, but he seemed very much stuck to the traditional party line, and there is nothing traditional in this fight. We need leaders willing to take leaps and make crazy suggestions, because only then do we open ourselves up to possibilities.” She reached out and laid her hand over his forearm. “You've got this.” He laid his hand over hers for a moment before pulling away. “My people believe that things possess spirits that represent their essence. A platoon will have a certain spirit formed by its history, the men and women who fought in it over time, and it will tend to attract more of the same. In that way, throughout my life, I've felt a very strong presence of the spirit of war. When I looked up and saw you running down the line of sheds, I thought the spirit of war itself had come.” He chuckled. “You jumped up onto that high ground and cleared that camp like a force of nature.” Shepard gave a surprised laugh. “I don't think I'd go anywhere near that far.” He shrugged. “Of course you don't see it. That's as much who you are as the diplomat unafraid to stand before the leaders of three empires and scold them as if they were misbehaving children. You will find a way to defeat the Reapers, I feel that with certainty, and after they are gone, the galaxy is going to ask a great deal of you, Commander.” “After the Reapers are defeated, I intend to retire into obscurity, Primarch. So, it can ask all it wants, so long as it doesn't expect a reply.” He just tilted his head a little. The door opened. “Do you realize this is the fourth night in a row you've made me get out of bed, get dressed and go looking for you?” Garrus asked. Shepard gave him a wide, surprised smile and laughed even as she felt another blush reddening her face and neck. She jerked her head toward the Primarch. “Oh. I mmmm ... will leave you to it.” Garrus backed out the door. “I was just about to try to get some sleep,” Victus said, pushing himself to his feet. “Good night, Shepard.” He nodded to Garrus as he walked past. “Vakarian.” Shepard laughed as Garrus walked back in. “Nice timing there.” He winced and sat beside her. “So...” Shepard laughed and slid over next to him. “It's okay, he knew anyway.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Come on, Mr. Smooth, let's go back to bed.” Standing, she held her hand out to him. He took it and she hauled him to his feet, leading the way to the door. Back in bed, Shepard pressed herself tight against him. “So, what were you and the Primarch discussing at 0100?” Shepard sighed and closed her eyes. “He's a father in a lot of pain, and a man who just had the fate of his entire race dumped in his lap. We just talked.” “And why were you up for the fourth night in a row?” He let out a long breath. “The dream again?” She nodded. “Let's get some sleep. In a few hours we have the genophage to cure.”
* * * * *
“What are you doing over there? Are you hiding?” “I overheard something I shouldn't have, and despite my solemn oath that I'd never repeat a word of it, only one thing would convince Joker that his secret was safe,” Shepard replied from the bathroom door. “Oh? And why does that lead to you hiding in the bathroom?” After a moment, Garrus chuckled. “Just come out.” Shepard sighed and left her refuge,walking to the head of the stairs. She hung her head. “What are you wearing?” Garrus leaned forward, his mandibles fluttering. “It's sport armour. Joker was with me when we saw it at a store. I said I would rather be dipped in honey and tied naked to a thresher nest than wear this sexed out... I mean, I don't even like the form fitted chest plates...” She sighed. “Then I overheard... what I did, and now he wants vid proof to hold as blackmail material. He says I have to cure the genophage on galactic news dressed like...” She grunted and shrugged. “...this.” “You could just kick his ass.” I tried that, he gave me the wounded puppy eyes.” She held out her arms. “So, here I am.” “Come over here. I need to see this.” Shepard walked over. He motioned for her to turn around. She sighed, but spun a slow circle. “Yeah, you can't wear that in battle, Shepard. You'll get me killed. And there's no way you can wear it with James in the squad. He spends 90% of every mission checking out your assets as it is.” He reached out, took her hand and pulled her in close. “Jealous, Vakarian?” She stood between his knees, her hands resting on either side of his armour's yoke. “No, because about halfway through staring at you, they look over at me and know that the turian with the really big gun will be the only one taking off the armour they're trying so hard to see through.” Shepard laughed and gave him a wide grin. “With the really big gun, huh?” He reached out and ran his fingers over the straps around the inside of her upper thighs. “These would give me the most trouble. I'd spend the whole time wanting to do this.” “That fetish for humans seems to be coming along,” she teased. “I seem to be developing a pretty serious fetish for one human, anyway.” He put his arms around her. “You're a terrible distraction, Shepard.” “Yeah.” She turned a bit and sat on his thigh. “Last time we were on the Citadel, EDI asked me about all the displays of public affection. She said the incidence was disproportionately high. I told her that since everyone could be dead tomorrow, hooking up was one way to be alive, to find some connection.” She leaned down and kissed his brow, not pulling back, just breathing him in. “I hope they're all feeling this.” After a moment, she kissed him again then stood. “Come on, time's a-wasting, and we have the genophage to cure.” She led the way to the door. “By the way, after last night, I think I might be developing a crush on the Primarch. I don't know, there's just something...” “I think you're developing a turian fetish.” She nodded. “Could be. There's something about the voice. Sooo sexy.” “I've been told that I have a sexy voice by a lot of females,” he said, following her into the elevator. “Dr. Michel among them?” “Actually, yes, I think she's mentioned it.”
Shepard chuckled. “Oh yeah, she's got it bad. Good thing for me you can be so completely, albeit adorably, oblivious.” “What do you mean?” Shepard laughed. “Dear god, Vakarian, you're a marvel to me. I can't believe I have to spell this out for you.” “Shepard, you're talking in riddles,” he said, his words accompanied by an exasperated sigh. Shepard walked out of the elevator and spotted Liara gearing up at the weapon bench. “Liara, spell it out for our friend here.” The asari looked up, one side of her brow arching. “Spell what out, exactly?” “Dr. Michel.” Liara laughed. “Oh yeah, she has a huge thing for you, Garrus.” The turian stopped, the plates above his eyes and his mandibles fluttering. “Wait, you two are saying that she wants to be with me... you know... ?” Shepard laid her hands on his shoulders and met his gaze with a serious scowl. “The woman wants to play with the big gun.” He laughed. “No.” He looked over at Liara, who nodded. He shrugged then looked down at Shepard. “Well, I may have to look her up the next time we dock at the Citadel. She's an attractive human, a doctor...” Shepard nodded and turned away, heading over to collect her weapons. “She's a good catch. Human mothers are notorious for wanting their children to marry doctors.” “Commanders in the Alliance though...” he let the sentence trail off. “High attrition rate, low pay... definitely not good catches.” Shepard shook her head and let out a dramatic sigh. “You're right. What was I thinking. Thanks for setting me straight, Shepard.” He slapped a heat sink into his Mantis. “Always good to know the big gun is appreciated.” Shepard finished checking her Mattock, slapped in a heat sink and shouldered it. “Come on, big gun, let's go cure the genophage.” “Right behind you.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 11, 2013 20:48:28 GMT 1
Part Two Continued...
After Curing the Genophage
“Thank you, Commander.” The Primarch gripped her hand tightly between both of his. “Good luck, Primarch Victus.” Shepard gave him a warm smile. “To us all,” he agreed. He held her hand for another moment. “And about those things left unspoken we discussed last night... Never doubt them for a moment.” Shepard smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Sir. Take care.” “You as well. The Normandy will be in my thoughts.” He released her and left the war room. Shepard watched the door close behind him, then turned to the holograph of the Crucible. “I'll start coordinating Turian support right away, Shepard,” Garrus said, stepping up beside her. She nodded and leaned against the console. Suddenly every bone in her body threatened to turn to jelly. Exhausted, crashing off an adrenaline high that had lasted the better part of the day, and torn between ten opposing emotions, it was all she could do to remain standing. It had been a great day, a terrifying day, and an unbelievably sad day. Garrus stepped up beside her and suggested that she go up and try to get some sleep. As exhausted as she was, she shook it off with a tough guy go to line, but the truth was, she didn't want to be up there alone with one more ghost. The ghost of someone she'd truly come to love. He laid a hand on the small of her back. “Come on, Shepard. Go up, take a shower, and rest. You're no good to anyone burned out.” Shepard sighed and pushed away from the console. She squeezed his hand. “Don't leave me up there alone for too long.” “I'll be up as soon as I get everything organized.” She nodded and headed across the room and out the door. In her cabin, Shepard showered, changed into sweats, then checked her messages. Her hamster squeaked and came out to scratch around in his paper bedding. She smiled and took off the lid, reaching in to pick him up. “Hey there little Mordin.” She carried him down to the chair. “You should have seen your eponym today. He was so brave. Even when he walked into the Hollows and it looked like a hundred angry krogan were going to rip him to pieces, he stood firm.” She stroked the hamster gently. “He didn't need to worry, though. I'd have killed every krogan there to protect him.” She sighed and leaned back, closing her eyes. “I would have gone up that tower as well, but he was right. It had to be him. It was the end to his journey. My journey... my journey ends somewhere else.”
She swallowed and took a deep breath to ease the tightness in her throat. The time to grieve would come after the war. Too many people were counting on her for her to just lose it now. Still, the pressure built until it felt as though the lump would choke her.
Then the traitorous voice of fear whispered. “Who else will I lose before this is over?”
* * * * *
A dark forest spread before her. She knew it well. Behind her stood safety and love. Behind her was her bedroom window and, beyond that, the quiet sounds of her parents sleeping. The sound of a child crying broke through quiet, shattering her illusion of safety. The trees closed in, the darkness around their roots deepening and spreading out in misty tendrils that crawled toward her on the ground. Dark figures grew out of the mist, their forms shifting and changing, dissolving to be replaced by another.
The boy in the grey hoodie appeared like a light amidst the darkness, and she moved toward him. She tried to call to him, to warn him about the danger in the trees, the monsters that lurked just out of sight, but no sound issued forth. She ran toward him, voices of the dead calling out to her... Mordin, Ashley, her parents... so many voices.
A flash of blood red lightning and a soul freezing roar announced the presence of a Reaper. The child looked up and bolted, forcing Shepard to give chase, drawing further and further from safety. She felt the monsters closing in around her as she ran deeper into the woods.
“Run Jane! Hide!” Shepard stopped at the sound of her mother's scream, then crouched, covering her ears with her arms at the terrible roar that she'd learned to identify as a flame thrower. “Run Jane! Run and don't look back!” Shepard cried out soundlessly and jumped up, forcing herself to follow the boy. She had to save him. She needed to save him... to save someone. Then he was before her, staring into her eyes, his face passive as the flames claimed him. Shepard bolted upright, gasping, her heart hammering in her chest. So much death. Her entire life had come down to death. “Hey.”
She looked up at Garrus, latching onto his battered, beautiful face like a life preserver in a heavy sea. Slumping back into the chair, she took a couple of deep breaths so her voice wouldn't tremble when she replied. “Hey.” She realized Mordin was missing, and held up her hand. “Be careful, the hamster's loose in here somewhere.”
“I caught it trying to spring the fish and put it back in its cell, don't worry. Although, the crazy furball is living on borrowed time around these feet.” Garrus sat on the end of the couch, his knees pressed against hers. “I thought I sent you up to bed. Is this as far as you got?” She nodded. “Yeah. I sat down for a minute with Mordin, the next thing I knew, you were here. I guess I fell asleep.”
He reached out and cupped the back of her neck, his thumb caressing her cheek. “We are en route to the Citadel. I scheduled shore leave for the crew and made sure that the two of us ... and James... have tomorrow off. I figure dodging Reaper feet and every Brute in the galaxy earned us a day to do nothing.”
“Thanks Garrus.” She leaned into his hand and closed her eyes.
“Okay, let me get changed and cleaned up, then we are going to get some sleep.” He stood and headed up to the washroom.
By the time he returned having showered, she had stripped down to her shorts and T shirt and climbed under the covers. She watched him come down the stairs, the many layers of clothing that usually covered him from neck to toes gone. Marvelling at the strange symmetry of him, her gaze wandered over the hard, layered scales that gave way to softer skin in places. Although, much like the man, there was little about his body that could be considered soft exactly.
“You staring at me again?” he grumbled, sitting on the side of the bed. “Yes.” She reached out and stroked his skin with her fingertips, teasing one of his favourite places to be touched.
“You're shameless.” He stood and pulled back the duvet, climbing in next to her.
“I can't help it.” She waited for him to settle, then nestled in against him, finding all the places where their contours fit together, laying her head on his arm.
He laid there in silence for a few moments, his breath whispering against her temple. “You were having the dream again when I came in, weren't you?”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes. As he gave her a gentle squeeze, she rolled over to face him, tucking her face into the curve of his neck just where his chest gave way to carapace. He laced his fingers with hers and held her hand against his chest.
“I loved him,” Shepard whispered after a few moments of silence, her voice barely enough to register over the background hum of the Normandy
“I watched it happen in that hospital on Tuchanka,” he replied, nodding. “The two of you were just going at one another the whole way through until you found that dead female and everything changed.”
“Chasing Saren with Wrex on the crew gave me a very specific view of the genophage. I liked and respected him, so the genophage was evil. It was an atrocity that condemned a race to barbarism and hopelessness on their way to extinction. Still, destroying the cure along with Saren's base never even phased me. It wasn't about destroying the cure, it was about preventing Saren from having an army of enslaved Krogan.” She sighed and burrowed in tighter against him. “When Mordin told me about modifying the genophage, I was disgusted. It was all I could do not to kick him off the ship.” She slid her fingers along his. “But in that hospital, I saw myself in Mordin's struggle to deal with what he'd done. He'd taken the only actions he believed he could to ensure the good of everyone, but that didn't make them easy to take, nor live with. In that moment, I saw myself one impossible decision down the road.” “Javik says that I have to do what needs to be done, honourable or not, that it doesn't matter to the trillions of dead if my honour remains intact, but I think it does. If I resort to taking dishonourable measures, doesn't that betray the spirit of who we are, of who they were?” She sighed and shook her head. “I don't know. Anyway, before this war is over, will I have done something that I need to struggle with the rest of my life?” Shepard cursed softly. “I don't know why I spend so much time worrying about this stuff. Maybe I'm the wrong person to lead this fight.” “If you let it paralyse you, I might agree, but you don't.” Garrus said softly, his lips brushing her temple. “Even with all the checking and balancing that goes on in your head, you get the job done, Shepard. Just like Mordin did, in the end. Whatever he did before, he set it right today. A chance to balance the scales is the best we can hope for sometimes.” Shepard nodded. “He was so very brave.”
After Udina's Attempted Coup Shepard stepped out of the elevator and saw Garrus standing at the memorial wall, staring at the names. She walked up next to him and slipped her hand into his. He gave her fingers a squeeze and shook his head, visibly weary to his core.
When he asked about Kaidan and whether she could have taken the shot, she answered the best she could. If it had come down to Kaidan or Tevos and Sparatus... she was just glad Kaidan had finally trusted her.
Shepard bumped his hip softly. “Been a hell of a day for you too,” she said in a whisper. “You coming up soon?” “Yeah.” He nodded. “In a bit.” Shepard squeezed his hand then stepped away. “When you're ready.” She turned to the elevator and hit the button. “I need to check in with the rest of the crew, then I'll head up. Got a hell of a report to file.” She spent a few minutes speaking with each of the active crew, then headed up to finish up the paperwork on the coup attempt. Once in her quarters, however, her shower called to her and she bypassed the computer in favour of steaming hot water. She tilted her face into the stream and let all her shields drop. Garrus hadn't been kidding about it being a hell of a day. Thane... She shook her head, refusing to let the grief rise to the surface. Knowing that he had been living on borrowed time and had died on his terms, saving people, helped, but still, another friend had fallen. The door to her quarters opened, and she turned the water off. She reached for a towel, dried herself off, and threw on her shorts and T shirt. When she stepped out of the bathroom, Garrus was standing down next to the bed, stripping off his armour and piling it on the desk. She stepped up behind him and took over, unfastening the components and removing them. He turned to face her and pulled off his glove. He stroked her cheek with the back of his finger and laid his hands on her shoulders. When she crouched to remove his boots, he ran his fingers through her hair, playing with the damp curls. She finished, sticking his boots under the desk out of the way, then stood and reached up to caress his face. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. Shepard smiled and slipped her arms around him, holding him right back. “What do you need?” she whispered. He turned his face into her neck and sighed. “Nothing more than this.” She smiled and nodded. “Okay.” After a few more moments, he led her to the bed and pulled back the duvet, then grabbed an extra pillow from the crate above her bed. He undressed, sat and settled in, placing the pillow against his side to protect her from his plates. Instead of going around the bed and climbing in, Shepard straddled his legs and leaned forward, her arms around his neck, and pressed her brow to his. He let out a long, slow breath and closed his eyes. “A hell of a day.” She said nothing, just holding him, gently stroking his neck. “Days like this make you wonder what it's all for,” Garrus said. “I stepped over the bodies of a lot of friends today; good people who came out here and joined C Sec to keep other people safe. And for what? To be betrayed and murdered by people they trusted. Spirits, I felt useless in there today.” Shepard nodded. “Some days it feels like we're trying to stop a dreadnought by tossing pebbles at it.” She took his hand and laced her fingers with his. “Those days I look to you.”
“Me?”
She lifted her head to look into his eyes. “Yes.” She smiled. “You don't realize, do you? You're my hero, Garrus Vakarian.”
He gave a derisive little chuckle and shook his head, but then frowned as he met her gaze. She smiled softly and nodded, answering his unspoken question. She kissed him then pulled back, and swung her leg over to nestle against him.
Shaking his head, he pulled her in tight against his side and nuzzled the top of her head. “You're crazy.”
“Undoubtedly,” Shepard agreed. “That doesn't change anything though.” She slipped her arms around him and laid her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes. Exhaustion set in with a vengeance, and she wiggled down under the blankets. Garrus laid on his side, stroking the curve of her hip softly. She opened her eyes to kiss him, then curled into the circle of his arms. “Go to sleep,” he said. “But...” She curled in tighter. “I don't need to talk about it,” he assured her. “I just need to hold you and remember that there's still some good in this messed up universe.” She nodded. “There is. I've got you.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 13, 2013 2:08:41 GMT 1
Part Two - Con't
Post Saving Zal'Koris on Rannoch
Shepard stepped back from the QEC, a sad smile lifting one corner of her lips. It was strange the way allies and friends shifted as you grew to know and understand one another. At Tali's trial, Zal'Koris had been a giant pain in her ass, and Han'Gerrel had seemed an ally, at least in the cause to clear Tali. Now, Han'Gerrel was just lucky that the need for peace was keeping her fist in check, and Zal'Koris was a voice calling for peace at her side.
She headed out to the CIC, checked in with Traynor, glanced through her messages, then headed down to see what the rest of the crew was up to. She hit the door on the Forward Battery, waiting while it decided whether or not to let her in. When the door slid open, she was greeted by harsh, crackling static, a man's voice barely audible underneath it.
“Dad? Can you hear me?”
Shepard sucked in a quick breath as Garrus called out, trying to both hear and be heard over the interference. She held her breath, straining to hear as the tiny voice called out that they were trying to get to the evac transports, that Garrus's sister had been hurt but would be okay...
Then the voice disappeared and the static along with it, the channel cut off. She let out her breath in a wavering sigh and stepped up beside him. She just stood there for a moment, then wrapped her arm around him and laid her head on his shoulder, pulling him close. He remained still for long enough that she thought maybe she should just pull away and leave him, but then his arm reached around her, and he turned to touch his brow to the top of her head.
He whispered a prayer for the Spirits to look out for his father and sister, to allow him to see them again.
“Amen,” Shepard whispered, lifting her head to kiss him.
After another moment, the rigid posture she knew all too well pulled him away. Letting him go, she turned back to the door and hit the control. After hesitating a moment, she said, “I love you, Vakarian.”
He nodded, then took refuge back in his calibrations.
Shepard toured the rest of the ship, checking in with all her people, making sure they had everything they needed, even if it was just an ear to listen for a few moments. She stopped in the lounge to see who James' latest victims were. A howl of delight from Daniels told her that at least Kenneth was getting taken to the cleaners. Perching on the end of the couch, she added her voice to the good natured teasing for a moment, then headed out to the galley.
Standing over the sink, she wolfed down a bowl of cereal so quickly that her stomach threatened to toss the cereal back at her. After hanging over the sink for a moment, praying that she didn't embarrass herself, she headed up to her quarters. She wanted to be there when Garrus came out of hiding, even if they just went to bed and said nothing at all.
She finished her reports, answered messages, fed the hamster and fish, then finally got into bed. For a moment, she considered calling Garrus on the comm, but then decided to let him have his space. An hour later, she was dozing off over a procurement log, a stack of data pads teetering on her lap, when Garrus walked in. Startled awake by the door, Shepard jumped, the datapads flying through the air, then scattering across the deck plating.
“Dammit.” She threw the covers back, swung her feet out of bed, and bent over to gather them together.
Garrus chuckled softly as he walked down the stairs. “Getting jumpy in your old age, Shepard.” “Yeah. Yeah.” She grinned and leaned over to get one that had slid over by the chair.
A gentle talon traced the ridge of her spine then Garrus reached down and drew her to her feet. “Come here.”
She let him pull her in against him, and after staring into his eyes for a moment, she smiled and reached up to caress his face, gently following its angles and contours, just enjoying the feel of him under her fingertips
“Did you get something to eat?”
He shook his head, eyes closing as he leaned into her hand. “Not hungry. Not for food, at least.” He slid his hands down her sides to grab the hem of her T shirt and slid it up.
Shepard raised her arms so he could pull it the rest of the way off, then rested her hands against his chest. “A different menu, then?”
He pulled her tight against him none too gently and leaned in, burying his face in the angle between her neck and shoulder, his hands kneading her back. “Spirits, the way you smell...” The words came from deep in his throat, rumbling with a low growl. He stripped off his gloves without loosening his hold on her. “Do you remember the first night we were together?”
She sighed, the tail end of it turning into a moan as his talons slid down her back, pressing into her hard enough to leave the skin red in their wake. “Every minute,” she replied, turning to kiss along the groove of his throat. “You said that you couldn't believe someone so tough could have a body so soft.”
“Mmmm, despite the beatings I've seen you take, I was afraid I'd break you.” He pressed both hands into the small of her back, moulding her to him.
“Mordin gave me cream for the chafing.” She chuckled. “Never used it though. I like the way we chafe.” She inhaled the warm, subtle but intoxicating scent of him. She had no clue what the aromatics in his cleanser was, but they made her tingle from head to toe. “Crouching behind cover the next day, my armour reminding me of all the places you were the night before. It's gotten me shot more than once. Mmmm... so worth it, though.”
“I never would have thought it. Saw human women every day, never gave any of them a second glance. Not even you, as much as I respected you. Then you drove a mako through that wall, and...” He tilted his head, running his cheek along the line of her shoulder, feather soft. “... now I can't imagine wanting to touch anyone else.”
Shepard grinned. “I was about as subtle as a Mako, that's for sure.” She wrapped her arms around him, leaned up to whisper. “Ask me, Garrus. I'll say yes.”
He pulled away, meeting her eyes. “Make love to me?”
Smiling softly, she started undoing the fasteners on his tunic. “Yes. Always yes.”
After Thessia Shepard sat curled up under a blanket, staring at the vid screen without seeing it. Ever since they'd returned from Gellix, she'd felt this sadness like a massive weight in the center of her chest. If she didn't fight to keep it under control, her eyes began to burn and her throat closed. She tried to shake it off by spending more time with the crew, and kept it hidden from Garrus the best that she could, even though she knew that he suspected something was up with her. Then Thessia. Shepard sighed heavily, then caught herself and disguised it under a yawn. After Thessia, the weight had become so heavy that she felt as if she could barely move. “Is this all you are?” it whispered to her. “Is this all you will ever have?” How much longer could she spend most days neck deep in enemies, fighting endlessly against enemies and odds too big to fight? Indefinitely? Until the Reapers were defeated? Until they killed her? Even if she defeated the Reapers, who or what would be left of Jane Shepard? Was Jacob right? Was the Normandy, the fighting and death all she would ever have? She looked over at Garrus and the burning settled in her eyes again. He made her want so much more. “Jacob wasn't right, you know,” she said, her voice barely audible over the vid. He turned to look at her, then turned off the screen. He got up and walked over to sit on the couch next to her, gathering her in tight against him. “Ready to talk about it?” he asked, his voice the gentle, intimate rumble he only used when they were alone together. “I thought it might be today.” Shepard wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. “I'd walk away from everything for you. Jacob was only right in that I can't do it right now.” “Mm.” He nodded and pressed his cheek against her hair. She scowled and pulled away. “I'm serious. The Normandy is not my first love. I love it and its crew, but you are my road forward, not this ship, not even the Alliance.” “Do you think that I don't know that, Shepard?” He sighed. “Don't you think I see how exhausted you are?” He brushed a curl of hair from her brow. “If there is one thing that scares me, it's that by the time we reach the end of this fight, you'll be so worn out and ground down that you just won't come back.” “I don't know what you're talking about.” He gave her a scowl that told her he knew she was lying. “After you fought the Reaper on Rannoch, you walked away from the rest of us. I followed, keeping back to give you your space. You knelt next to Legion's platform, and as I watched, the entire galaxy lowered itself onto your shoulders. For a moment, I was worried that you were just going to lay down next to him.” Shepard frowned. “No, I...” Garrus shook his head. “No, you wouldn't give in to it, not until the fight is over. I watched as you wrestled it all back into place and got up. You walked over to the cliff's edge and sat to watch the sunset.” He sighed. “I just hope that by the time this is over, you have enough fire left inside you to pick you up and bring you home. To me.” Shepard curled back in against him. “I'll be fine. Just tired.” “Out there, you can't show the cracks. They need to have complete faith in you and the orders you give. You give them the belief that we can win, and you do that in a way that awes me, Shepard. But, I've never had to follow your orders. No one told me to be here. I came for one reason – to support you. So, occasionally you don't have to be the toughest soldier in existence.” He lifted her chin with a talon. “I know what this stiff upper lip, red-eyes and clenched jaw means. It cries louder than most people's tears.” “I love you.” He nodded. “I know, and how could you not?” “You know, for a man who claims to have no romantic skills...” He nodded. “Well, after a point, it just all comes out in sappy.” Shepard chuckled and kissed him. “It'll be our secret.” Pulling away a bit to look up at him, she gave him a thoughtful frown. “You know, we should go on a first date.” He turned to look down at her. “A what?” “A first date. When we get to the Citadel tomorrow, we go to the casino separately, meet, do some awkward small talk. You know, like normal people do. Let's face it, our relationship hasn't been exactly standard. Have we even been on a date? I don't think we have. Our little shooting contest on the Presidium doesn't count.” “Since when do we care about standard?” He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her back in against his side. She shrugged. “We don't, but ... “ Shepard sighed again. “I don't know, I spend all my days and nights trapped in Commander Shepard, and I know it's important, but sometimes, I just want to be Jane Shepard.” “Okay.” He curled a finger under her chin, lifting her face to kiss her. “Then Jane Shepard it is.” He kissed her again. “But, just so you know, I have an abysmal record with first dates. They've rarely led to second dates.”
First Date Staring into Garrus's eyes as he lifted her from the dip position, Shepard kept her leg wrapped around his. “You never cease to amaze me, Vakarian.” His mandibles fluttered. “I thought I'd made a mistake for a second or two at the beginning, but once you relax, you aren't a bad dancer at all.” “Just takes the right partner, yes? I believe someone told me that after the Collector Base.” “Sounds like a smart fellow.” He cleared his throat. “So, more awkward small talk, or...” She shrugged. “We could. We could ask one another where we grew up, what sorts of music we like...” He slipped his arms around her. “Or we could just dance, and pretend we already know all that stuff.” She slipped one hand up behind his neck, the other around his waist. “Sure, let's do that.” After a moment, she laid her head on his chest. “You move fast, don't you?” She chuckled. “Only when I see something I want.” After a moment, she pulled back and pressed a soft kiss against his cheekbone. “What was that for?” “You seem like the kind of man who'd do just about anything for someone he cares about, even go on a first date just because your girlfriend is feeling a little bit like the galaxy is resting on her shoulders. And, you know, if you did something like that, she'd want you to know that she sees everything you do for her and that she loves you for it.” She kissed him again and tucked her head under his jaw.
He cleared his throat, and when he spoke, his voice was a soft whisper. “Well, she'd have to be someone's first priority, because a woman like that... she certainly isn't her own.”
“One day she'd make it up to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“She'd find a way to give you back everything you'd given her.”
He pulled back, gripping her shoulders. “She'd have to know that she already has, a thousand times. Everything I was, everything I had, I'd owe to her.”
She leaned in and kissed him, softly at first, then with more passion. “You know,” she whispered against his lips. “I normally would never consider this on a first date, but you might just get lucky tonight Garrus Vakarian, Codename: Archangel.” She slipped her arms around him and pressed herself along his length.
“Does that line work on all the men?”
Smiling, she nodded. “Absolutely, and I haven't even pulled out my A game, yet.”
“Oh? And what's your A game?”
Leaning up, she whispered.
“Well...” He nodded, giving a little cough. “I can certainly see how that would... Is it hot in here or is it just me?”
Shepard grinned and closed her eyes, tucking her head back in against his chest. “You're definitely the hottest guy in the place.”
A warm chuckle accompanied the shake of his head. “I heard you had a thing for men with scars.”
She looked up. “Then I'm not the only one, because that little lady over there was seriously checking you out when you came in.”
Garrus just shook his head.
“It's true. I had to get all territorial with her.”
“Territorial? Did I miss some sort of aggressive female dominance ritual?”
“No, females are usually more subtle than that. For most, a pointed look and a 'this one's mine' smile does the trick.”
“And to think I missed it.” He nuzzled her cheek. “You don't worry about that, do you?”
“What? Other women?” At his nod, she smiled and kissed his lip. “No. I might if you noticed when women were checking you out...” She sighed and pulled back to look into his eyes, dropping the fiction for the moment. “The only time I have had the slightest concern about us was that day on the Presidium when I realized that I'd failed to make something clear.”
“And that was?” He leaned into her, his brow touching hers.
“That the night before the Collector base, I stopped looking anywhere but into the gorgeous blue eyes right in front of me.”
He kissed her, his mouth moving over hers with a passion that narrowed the entire world down to just the two of them. “Do you want to get out of here?” he asked, low and gruff.
She kissed him softly and laid her head on his chest, her hand slipping up to stroke his neck with the backs of her fingers. “There's no need to rush. Tonight, we have all the time in the galaxy.”
“Just two people who ran into one another in a bar and fell in love?”
She chuckled. “Two people who met hunting a rogue Spectre, chased him to hell and back, both nearly died, chased the Collectors to the galactic core and fell in love. That happens all the time, right?”
He laid his cheek against her hair. “Oldest story in the book, and I wouldn't change a word of it.”
Oblivious to the music and the people around them, they just held one another, the galaxy kept at bay for a few stolen moments.
“So...” Garrus pulled away a little and looked down into her eyes. “I have a confession to make.” “Oh?” Shepard tilted her head a little. “We just met, how could you have done something worthy of confessing already?” “Well, I didn't just find you here by accident. I wanted to meet you, so did a little digging to find out where you'd be tonight.” “Oh? Is there a mole on my crew?” She just managed to keep her face straight. “An old friend of mine told me you'd be here.” He shrugged. “I can't really rat her out.” “Why would you want to meet me?” She pressed in a little closer. “I've seen you around. You're always running from place to place like you have a burning fuse chasing you. Sometimes I see you in the docking bays, just leaning against the railing, watching the ships, and I wonder... why does such a beautiful woman always look so sad?” “Maybe it's not sadness. Maybe I'm just waiting.” “For what?” She shrugged and turned to look over the other dancing couples. “Maybe I'm waiting for a beautiful man to come along and sweep me off my feet. Or then again, maybe I'm just trying to remember where I left the keys to my ship.” “Lose them a lot, do you?”
“I do, but tonight I think I left them under my pillow back at my apartment. Want to come help me find them?” She slipped her hand into his and nodded toward the door.
He resisted, slipping his hand from hers. “I don't know. We just met... it's all so sudden.”
She nodded and sighed. “I understand. Well, maybe we'll meet again.” She let out another overdone sigh and headed for the stairs, head hanging. She made it all the way to the doors before he walked up behind her, lifted her into his arms and kissed her.
Shepard grinned. “Yep, that's what I've been waiting for. It wasn't the keys at all.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 13, 2013 16:47:47 GMT 1
Post Sanctuary (Yes, I forgot to go back and talk to Miranda the last time. I don't want to talk about it.) Shepard opened the door to the lounge and found her missing crew scattered around the room. She walked in, answering their greetings and flopped down on the couch next to Garrus. “Who's James fleecing tonight?” “You'd think the mask would help,” Tali grumbled. “I can read your body language like a book, Sparks, even if it is a bit slurred at the moment.” The quarian just grumbled again. “Not so loud. I think the happy part of being drunk is wearing off.” Shepard chuckled. “And the drum corps is setting in?” Tali just nodded and set down her cards. “I can't look at all those dots any more, or I'm going to throw up.” “Start drinking lots of water, Tali,” Shepard advised. “Lots and lots of water.” “So, Commander,” Donnelly called from the other side of the poker table. “Tali was just telling us about her time on the first Normandy.” “God,” Shepard sighed, “it seems like a hundred years ago. The good old days when all we thought we needed to do was stop Saren.” “Do you have any stories?” “Tons, but I don't know what Tali's told you already.” Shepard leaned forward to look past Garrus. “Did you tell them about the great monkey hunt?” Garrus groaned. “No, Shepard.” She grinned. “No,” Tali replied. “I've been trying to block that entire day from my memory.” Kaidan laughed. “I've seen you guys come back from missions covered in a lot of things, but that day took the cake for sure.” “Start at the beginning,” Daniels said. “Now you have to tell it.” Shepard settled down into the couch. “We'd just arrived in the Attican Beta cluster when Admiral Hackett called to ask us to go after a spy probe that had gone down on Eletania. The geth knew about it, so we had to find it and retrieve the data module before they did.” She shook her head. “We found the probe, but the data module was gone. There were a few dead pyjaks lying around the probe and no geth, so I figured that one of the beasties had run off with it.” “She tells us we have to search the nearby colonies for the probe and Garrus grumbles, 'Oh, this is going to be fun,' under his breath,” Tali said and giggled. “Shepard couldn't resist poking him, teasing him about missing the compulsory seminar at CSec on monkey search and take down procedures, asking how many monkey related thefts he had investigated, what sort of criminal profile we were dealing with, and whether the CSec handbook recommended a net or a shotgun. The more Shepard and I laughed, the crankier he got.” “Imagine that,” Garrus replied and shook his head as everyone laughed. “We searched the nearby colony, but didn't find anything,” Shepard said, taking the story back up, “so we moved on to the next. I had Tali trying to herd the little buggers, keeping the ones we'd searched separate from the one we hadn't. Pyjaks were running everywhere, hooting and warbling up a storm. It was pandemonium. I thought I heard something – you have to remember that we were expecting the geth to show up any second – so I pulled my gun. These two just looked at me like I was insane.” “And Garrus says, 'I take it your handbook favours the shotgun, Commander',” Tali added. Shepard laughed. “Yeah, couldn't blame him for getting a shot in. I'd earned it. Anyway, I hung up my pistol, and somehow, hooked a grenade, lobbing it twenty feet. It obliterated three pyjaks. I felt terrible, and then I hear this little voice from behind me. 'And humans wonder why everyone thinks they're bullies.'” The commander shook her head. “Anyway, no data module at that colony either.” She slid a little lower on the couch, pressing her leg alongside Garrus's. “The next one was outside an abandoned mine. We checked all the pyjaks on the outside, but nothing, so in we went.” “I couldn't get the stink of that place out of that armour. Ended up throwing it out,” Garrus said. “Never smelled anything that bad before or since.” “Yeah,” Shepard agreed. “That mine was horrific. It was so dark that you couldn't see three feet in front of you even with flashlights and the floor was covered in six inches of water. There was pyjak crap everywhere, making the uneven ground slick as... well, as slick as shit.” Shepard shuddered. “But, we dug in and started searching.' 'An hour later, all three of us were strung so tight that we were inches away from snapping. Garrus was using strings of turian curses that elevated swearing to an art form, Tali kept fussing about suit tears being instantly fatal, and I was literally a half second from pulling my pistol and putting a bullet in the lot of them... and not just the pyjaks.” Liara scowled. “Shepard!” “It's the truth.” Tali said. “It is.” Garrus spoke up. “However, she did warn us that she was on the verge of going into a homicidal frenzy, and by that time, taking a bullet was starting to sound like a good idea.” Shepard laughed and shook her head. “Anyway, Tali was maybe twenty feet away and saw this pair of wrestling pyjaks on top of a pile of crates, so she climbed up. I watched until she got to the top, then turned away. I picked this critter up, and it bit me, so I was prying yet another set of pyjak teeth out of my glove when this bloodcurdling shriek rips through the cavern. It froze my blood. I thought a Geth Prime had crept up on us and ripped Tali in half. I grabbed my gun and spun around, the pyjak still hanging from my glove, but all I see is a flurry of flailing arms, legs and pyjaks flying through the air.” “The pyjaks weren't wrestling, and the male objected to being interrupted,” Tali grumbled. “He leaped onto my helmet, his mate close behind. Both of them were screeching and climbing all over my head, clawing at me. I took a wrong step and fell.” Garrus sighed. “Right into me. I had three pyjaks stuffed under one arm, two in the other when this screaming lunatic hit me from behind. I staggered forward in the dark and stepped straight into a two foot deep hole. Fell face first, Tali and seven panicking pyjaks on top of me.” “Utter bedlam,” Shepard laughed. “Poor Garrus, I thought he was going to explode before I got Tali and those critters off him.” “Poor Garrus?” The turian's mandibles fluttered. “You were laughing so hard that you could barely breathe let alone help anyone out of that hole.” Garrus shook his head. “What a mess. Monkey crap head to foot... worst day of that whole damned run to find Saren. Thank the spirits the geth attacked us on the way out. I really needed to kill things.” Kaidan chuckled. “When they got back to the Normandy, Joker refused to let Garrus and Tali back on until they'd been hosed down and put through three decon cycles.” “Hmmm.” Garrus looked over at Shepard. “Seems only fair to counter that story with the one about the Alliance listening post.” “No!” Shepard shook her head. “I think the story quota has been reached for the night.” He just gave her a teasing wink. “The Normandy received a distress call from an Alliance listening post close to geth space, When we arrived, turned out it was rachni. Shepard, as usual, insisted on driving the mako, an experience you should all be very glad to have missed.” “Throttle at max, cursing every three seconds as it rolled down cliffs, bouncing from corner to corner.” Liara chipped in. “My back and neck have never recovered,” Kaidan groaned. Liara laughed. “Remember the fights, Garrus? Kaidan screaming driving advice, Shepard threatening to build a brig on the Normandy to lock him in if he didn't stop.” “Slow down!” Garrus bellowed. “You don't need to drive full throttle all the time!” “Do you want to drive?” Liara replied, taking up Shepard's side of the conversation. “Please!” “Well, you can't so shut up, and hang on!” “Dammit Shepard, it's not supposed to slide down mountains on the roof!” “It'll right itself!” “Now you've damaged the wheels. I told you not to jump it off that ridge!” “That's what omnigel is for!” The room dissolved into laughter for a moment. Shepard blushed and punched Garrus in the arm. “Okay. Okay.” “The scary part,” Kaidan said, chuckling, “is that was an actual conversation.” Shepard shrugged. “I was determined not to let that stupid machine beat me.” “Well, on that nowhere planet in the Styx Theta cluster, it did.” Kaidan shook his head. “Shepard set the nav point, hit the accelerator and we careened off in the direction the arrow told us. Between us and the listening post stood this massive line of rock, just as steep as anything. Shepard lost her cool about halfway up, so when we finally hit the crest, she floored it.”
“That mako actually took flight,” Garrus said. “Flew fifty feet out and then dove straight for the ground, right into the roof of a mining shack.” “The mako slammed into that nose first, rolled off the side, flipped the rest of the way down the cliff to bounce off rocks at the bottom and land nose down in a rachni tunnel.” Kaidan shook his head. “If you tried a thousand times, you couldn't have made that happen.” “We just sat there for a few minutes,” Garrus said, picking the story back up, “trying to figure out if we'd survived with all body parts intact.” “Kaidan looked over at me,” Shepard said, “with this look on his face that I can only describe as the ultimate, I told you so, expression.” She chuckled. “I was slightly embarrassed and defensive, so I geared up to take him on the moment he opened his mouth. When the shock wore off, he just shook his head and said... 'Well shit.'” Kaidan laughed. “Was there anything else to say at that point?” “Did you ever get her to let you drive?” Donnelly asked. “Not the mako, no. She never really caught onto it, either.” “You're still alive, aren't you?” Shepard shook her head. “Thanks to Dr. Chakwas knowing a thing or two about realigning spines and treating neural trauma.” Kaidan gave her a teasing grin. “I think Garrus was the only one who managed to just sit there without saying anything,” Liara added. “Was it some sort of meditation? A deep trance state?” “He went to his happy place,” Tali spoke up. “That big, beautiful rifle range inside his head.” Shepard grinned. “I hear it's nice there.” “Actually,” Garrus replied, “it boiled down to being more afraid of Shepard's temper than her driving. I figured dying in a fiery mako crash was better than being beaten to death with my own leg.” Shepard gave his hand a squeeze. “Well, since the pick on the commander portion of the night is over, I have operation logs to go over. You people get some sleep. It's been a long day. And... Tali, it might be an idea to take a handful of pain meds before you go to bed.” The quarian grumbled. “I'm never drinking again.” Shepard nodded. “Yeah, we've all said that more than once.” “Isn't the commander afraid of anything?” Daniels asked just as the door shut at Shepard's back. Shepard paused to listen to the reply. Surely, they knew her better than that. “The woman is fearless,” Kaidan agreed. “I know you've all heard me say, 'Just like old times', and listening to stories like the ones tonight, you might think that the hunt for Saren was some great adventure, but for the most part it was pure hell.” Garrus sighed. “There is one reason that we look back on that time – or at least, I do – as some of the best months of my life.” “Shepard,” Tali said. “Shepard,” Liara and Kaidan agreed. “She brought us together and made us into a family of sorts, but most importantly, she believed in us and trusted us. She made us believe that we were better, stronger, more worthy people than we thought we were.” Garrus paused. “You asked why I didn't say anything about her driving? She always drove over the rockiest ground. It didn't matter if there was a wide open plain on a straight line between us and where we needed to go, she'd take the long way around, sticking to the hills.” “I wondered about that more than once,” Kaidan said, “but she always just shrugged it off, said there might be resources to discover.” “It didn't have anything to do with resources,” Garrus continued, his voice still so soft that she could barely hear him. “She might have cursed and gotten frustrated driving over the hills, but she was always relaxed, hands steady and calm on the controls. Then, one day on some uncharted planet, we had no choice but to cross this massive low grassland. Her entire body changed. She got stiff and her hands shook. She hit the accelerator and blasted out across the grass like a maniac. I could see her lips moving, so I leaned in a little, trying to hear what she was saying.” “What?” James asked when Garrus paused. “What was she saying?” “She was chanting, 'Don't start shaking. Don't start shaking.' over and over. Then I realized why she always stuck to the rocks. She was terrified of the low areas.” “Why?” Daniels asked. “Thresher maws,” he replied simply. “After what happened on Akuze, she'd rather travel miles out of the way than take the chance of losing anyone else to threshers.” “But she took down three or so in the mako,” Kaidan said. “She gunned them down like there was nothing to it.” “And fought one side by side with Grunt and I on foot,” Garrus said. “Watching her pray all the way across that grassland, I realized that after everything Shepard had been through, she had every right to be a complete basket case, but instead, she stared her fear in the face and slammed through it. I figured if she could be brave enough to drive through that fear, I could be brave enough to trust her to get me through as well.” Shepard smiled and shook her head. He'd seen more than she ever guessed. “So yes, Shepard feels fear, of course she does. She's just the bravest damn person I've ever met.” Shepard smiled and stepped away from the door. Shepard found Dr. Chakwas and Adams sitting in the galley, drinking coffee so sat to chat, but excused herself a few moments later and continued on. Her nightly tour of the ship helped settle her mind, and that night she needed it more than ever. One thought kept rolling around in her head. “Why didn't I go back and meet Miranda just one more time?” When she made it back to her quarters, Garrus was reading in his usual chair, his feet up on the table, a glass of the fiery liquor in his hand. She felt him watching her as she fed the hamster and fish. “I've been looking forward to a shower for hours,” she sighed, unzipping her hoodie and hanging it over the back of the chair outside the bathroom door. She pulled off her boots and socks, padding into the bathroom in bare feet, stripping off her T shirt as she went. She adjusted the water until it was just cool enough not to burn, then finished undressing. Stepping under the spray with a heavy sigh, she pressed her hands against the wall and closed her eyes, tilting her face up into the water, letting it wash away the stress and pain. People she cared about just kept being stripped away. Ash, Mordin, Thane, Legion and now Miranda, each of their deaths clouded by doubts. Was there something she could have done so that things turned out differently. In Miranda's case, she knew the answer was yes. She took a deep breath and tried to shake it off. Doubting herself wouldn't help anyone at this point. It wouldn't bring Miranda back, and it just might cloud her thinking and decision making enough to hurt someone else. Gentle talons combed through her hair, followed by a warm, rough hand that stroked the length of her spine and over her backside. She smiled and opened one eye. “Hi there.” Garrus gave her a turian smile. “Hi.” His hand traced the curve of her spine again. “Needing the shower?” she teased. “No. I got up to get into bed and caught sight of this line right here.” He ran his hand down her back. “After a couple of seconds of admiring it, looking just wasn't enough.” Shepard smiled and turned to face him. “I have that problem with this line, here.” She caressed the arch of his neck and down into his chest.” She ran the backs of her fingers over the plates on his torso, staring at that connection. “Rough day,” he said, simply. “Yeah.” She gave him a gentle push. “Let me get clean. We need to get to bed.” Instead of moving away, he stepped into her, reaching around her to pick up her shampoo. He squeezed some onto her hair and pulled her in close. “When you are out there, you can wear whatever face you need to. They need to feed off your strength.” He worked the shampoo into her hair. “But, in here, I already know how strong you are, it's the core of me, so you can mourn the friend you lost today.” Shepard laid her hands on his hips and leaned in. “No. If I let myself go there, I'll have to mourn everyone all the way back to Mindoir.” She rested her forehead against his chest. “Everyone leaves, Garrus. Everyone. It was just easier before I cared about the faces that disappeared.” He lifted her chin with a finger, tilting her head back to rinse the suds from her hair. “It feels that way some days.” “Yeah, most days lately.” Shepard slipped her arms around him and turned her face into his neck, tucking her head under his jaw. He rubbed her back. “Well, I'm right here, so how about you just hang onto me, and let someone look after you for a change?” He picked up her cloth, got it soapy, then held her with one arm while the other washed her from head to toe. Whenever Shepard tried to speak, he silenced her with a kiss. “I thought turians didn't kiss,” she said, her lips still pressed against his skin. He pulled back and nodded. “I like to stay adaptive.” He brushed her lips with his again. “And I like the feel of your lips on my skin.” Shepard kissed him, pressing herself against his right side. “Make love to me?” she whispered. Garrus turned off the water and grabbed a towel. He wrapped it around her, then lifted her into his arms. “Yes. Always yes.” They made love slowly and tenderly, then curled up together, arms and legs entwined. Shepard pressed in against his side and closed her eyes as he combed his talons through her hair, his breath soft and comforting against her temple. “I heard what was said after I left the lounge earlier,” she said. He nodded, but said nothing. “I was surprised they see me as fearless. I've been scared half to death for the past three years.” “But that isn't what they see. They see Commander Shepard, out there, facing down the Reapers and leading suicide missions without the slightest hesitation. They don't get to see this woman and understand that Commander Shepard isn't that iron soldier you project, she's so much more than that.” He squeezed her and nuzzled her temple. “Do you remember that girl on the Citadel? The one who had escaped from Batarian slavers?” “Tabitha?” he replied. “No, Talitha.” Shepard nodded. “She was ten years younger than me when the Batarians hit Mindoir.” She stroked his arm absently. “I'd stayed out all night the day before, so my parents had grounded me, but I was 16 and full of teenage romantic drama about a boy I'd met a few days earlier.” She scowled as she searched her memory and came up short. “You know, I can't remember his name. Troy? Tony? Anyway, I climbed out my window to meet him at the gulley, a forested hollows behind our little cluster of farms. When the Batarians attacked, his parents ran to our house, mine ran to his, then they came looking for us.” “The slavers found them just as they found us. Our fathers tried to hold them off with a tree branch and an old pistol while our mothers tried to get us away. My mother pushed me toward the gulley. I slipped and slid down, hitting my head on a rock, and passed out. When I woke up, my parents were dead, his father was dead, and he and his mother were gone. I took my father's pistol out of his hand and ran back to our house, shooting every slaver I came across.” She wriggled in closer, and Garrus tightened his arms around her. “Before the slavers, my dad was pushing me into law and government. He wanted me to be Mindoir's ambassador to either the Alliance parliament or the Citadel.” She shook her head. “I can't help wonder what he'd think of the mess we're in now.” Garrus kissed her. “He had good instincts. He saw the diplomat in you even back then. Wherever he is, I know you make him as proud as hell.” Shepard smiled and turned her face into his neck. “By the time I got back to the street, everyone was gone or dead, and the batarians had moved on, so I just sat at the edge of our fields—the batarians had burned them to flush out anyone hiding among the grain—gun in hand, until the Alliance soldiers arrived. They said I was in shock, wrapped me in blankets, and carted me off to their medbay. I don't know how long I sat there, I don't remember anything other than being manhandled by well meaning, earnest soldiers. I didn't move, didn't say anything, didn't feel anything.” “First thing I really remember is arriving at the Alliance base. I saw a recruitment poster. It said something about protecting human colonial interests, only in an inspiring and emotionally evocative way. I would have signed up right then, but it also said you had to be 18 to enlist.” “After I met you on the Citadel, I looked you up,” Garrus said softly. “There is a two year hole in your file. Nothing but a couple of follow up psych evals.” Shepard nodded. “I was 16, old enough to be emancipated, so I finished school over the extranet, kept my head down. Other than those psych evals, I didn't speak a word to anyone. I just switched onto autopilot, I guess.” She kissed his neck. “First words I said were to the Alliance recruiter the day I turned 18.” “I trained hard, studying and working myself to exhaustion every day. I BS'd with the other recruits to keep from being sent for more psych evals. I made friends, but didn't let anyone close. I was the Alliance's golden girl. I sailed up the early ranks, everyone talking about how I was going to make Admiral by 35.” She chuckled. She took a deep breath and sighed. “Then Akuze. I survived because I was thrown clear when the maws came out of the ground. I ran to one of the tanks, fired on the closest one and killed it, but that just attracted the attention of one of the others. The maw struck the tank with acid, burning straight through the armour. Splashes of it hit me below the control panel. God, I thought I'd been set on fire. Stripped down as fast as I could, found a first aid kit, covered myself in chemical powder. It helped a bit, I guess.” Garrus reached down and ran his talons gently over the small patches of dimpled skin on her stomach and thighs. “That's what these are?” She nodded. “Yeah. I rummaged around until I found a set of coveralls in the emergency kit, then ran out, sticking to cover as much as I could, climbed in the second tank and took out another one. A maw slammed into the tank and sent it flying. It rolled over a few times and came to rest against a rock outcropping. When I managed to climb out, I searched for survivors the best I could without calling the maws back. I guess by then Cerberus had moved in and taken away Toombs and the bodies, because I found nothing. I probably just escaped them because I was in an upside down, burned out tank. Anyway, the Alliance found me eventually, and the point of this much more drawn out story than I'd planned is, Akuze just reinforced my belief that attachments were death. I needed to keep people on the other side of the wall.” “But you care more about your crew than any CO I've known. The Cerberus crew called you Mama Bear behind your back.” She elbowed him, eliciting a chuckle. “Yeah, you gaggle of misfits threw a big wrench in what had been working very well for me for a long time, but I never let anyone all the way through that wall, past the barricades to where really, only my parents have ever lived. Kaidan didn't get through. Maybe that's why he found it so hard to trust me.” “Shepard...” She wriggled loose and leaned up on her elbow to look into his eyes. “Earlier, you said that my strength was the center of you.” She caressed his face and leaned in to kiss him. “You are the center of me. I have no idea how it happened,” she whispered against his lip, “but you are.” She pulled back. “I'm sorry if dragging you along on every mission has been hard on you, but leaving you behind would be like... well, it would be like going without my Mattock.” He chuckled. “Spirits, it must be love... your Mattock... I don't know what to say.” He reached up, caressing her shoulder, down her arm and over a breast. “It's just as well. If you tried to leave me behind, you'd just force me to tie someone up to take their place, and they resent that.” He pulled her back down into his arms. “I'm not going anywhere, Shepard.” He nuzzled her hair. “Should we get some sleep?” She nodded and tucked her head in against his neck. “Probably. We'll be at the Citadel in a few hours. Let's get through what we need to do there as fast as possible and retreat to the apartment. I'd like to spend a day just doing normal stuff, none of it involving guns or Reapers or Cerberus. I might even read a book.” He chuckled. “Now you're just talking crazy, although you might be able to convince your boyfriend to take you out for dinner. Too bad that...” Shepard jabbed him under the lowest scale on his side. “Yeah. Yeah. Too bad that someone destroyed the best sushi place on the Citadel.” She closed her eyes. “I don't know why everyone blames me. I was just there for dinner. I didn't even shoot the fish tank; my bullets all went into the bad guys.” He laughed and held her tight. “Go to sleep, Shepard.” “Fine, but the next person who blames me for that restaurant being closed is going to get my boot up their ass.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 15, 2013 1:51:29 GMT 1
Post Rescuing Anne Bryson
“Well, it took three days, instead of one, but we're finally here,” Shepard sighed. Sprawling across the couch, she watched the lights and cars and people outside the apartment's massive windows. “I don't think I could live here. It's too noisy, too much going on. Fifty people can see me right now.” She shifted up the couch, sitting in a more dignified pose. Garrus walked to the window and looked out. “More like a hundred or so. Let's just hope that none of them are assassins.” He closed the blinds then sat next to her. “So, we made it. Still plan to do absolutely nothing? I believe you intended to try to read a book.” Shepard shifted, the soft, taupe leather of the couch creaking under her. “I got an email from an asari woman. Her daughter was very ill and made a wish to watch me fight Reapers in the arena. You up for a round?” He chuckled. “This is you taking the night off? Killing holographic Reapers because... we don't kill enough real ones?” “Yeah, I guess it is.” She moved over next to him and lifted her feet up behind her as she curled in against his side. “A little girl needs some hope. We don't get the chance to do something that feels... I don't know, Garrus.” She shrugged. “Okay, never hurts to keep the skills sharp, but then we're going to dress in civvies and just relax. Yes?” She grinned. “Yeah, that sounds good.” She closed her eyes and let out a long, contented sigh as she hugged his arm against her despite the hard edges of his armour. “But now that I'm here, I could just stay tucked right here without any complaints.” “So, who are we going to round up to help us kick holo-Reaper ass?” She laughed. “Let's drag Steve and Traynor out. That ought to be entertaining all on its own.” “Does Traynor even know what end of a rifle to hold?” “She had to go through basic at some point. It'll be good for her, release some of her pent up aggressions. Steve could use it too. He's got some skills, just not a lot of faith in anything these days.” He gave her a squeeze. “Sounds good. Listening to Traynor deal with armour will be entertainment in itself.” Shepard laughed. “You're so bad. I'll give her my Phantom stuff. It's light and easy to move in.” “You're determined to ruin my fun. Next you'll be telling me you're going to give her a pistol instead of the Revenant.” “That thing nearly breaks my arm.” Shepard grinned as she pushed away and stood. “I'm going to call them and take a quick nap.” “A sleeping sort of nap, or the kind where my presence adds to the experience considerably?” He stood and followed her to the stairs. “Your presence always adds considerably, but yes, the sleeping sort of nap.” Shepard stopped on the bottom step and turned, slipping her arms around his neck. “You are more than welcome to join me, but you seem like going out and finding trouble is more your speed right now.” He chuckled and pulled her in against him. “There is something I want to do before we start our evening.” He kissed her. “Rest well. I'll be back in a couple of hours.” Shepard smiled and kissed him back. “See you later. Wake me if I'm not up when you get back.” She pressed her palm against his face, admiring its rugged beauty for a moment before she turned and headed upstairs. Shepard stripped down and climbed in the shower after talking with both Steve and Traynor. Steve proved to be eager, but Traynor took a little convincing. In the end, it was doing it as a wish for a little girl that convinced the comm specialist to put on armour and try it out. Shepard yawned as she stepped under the steaming water. She was probably insane making plans to fight at Armax as tired as she was, but they were going to have to head back out to find Leviathan the next day, and after that the final push to take out Cerberus and the Reapers. Time was ticking down on her. She'd felt it ever since her doppelganger had arrived. The universe kept showing her how blessed she was, and the only reason to keep throwing it in her face was because it was all going to be taken away. She hit the shower controls, grabbed a towel and dried herself off. After they found Leviathan, she'd hold the party Joker had been pushing for. Give everyone a chance to blow off some steam, enjoy each other's company, and get them ready for the end run. She threw back the blankets and climbed under them without bothering to dress. Relaxing into the soft mattress, she closed her eyes, but the sheets were cold against her skin, and her back felt exposed. She flipped over and reached out to lie her hand on the spot where Garrus should be, feeling his absence like a warning. “I know that I've never really believed in anything like my father did,” she said, her voice barely more than a breath. “I guess I just got busy existing, fighting day to day, didn't take time to think on it too much. I suppose it goes one of two ways when you kill people for a living. You either pray for salvation or pray that there isn't anyone out there keeping score. Well, if there is someone out there, you know my card is heavy on the killing side, but you also know that I've never taken any pleasure in it. If there is any other way, I try to find it. And you also know how tired I am. Every day has started to feel like an endless slaughter, and it's wearing me so thin that I can feel the cracks starting to form. If it doesn't end soon, I'm terrified that I'm going to break.” She laid her hand on Garrus's pillow. “I understand if this whole thing has to end with my life paying back some of my debt, but if you could spare him, I'd consider it a kindness. He has so much to do, so much he's capable of being.” She closed her eyes again and swallowed hard, forcing away the lump building there. “It won't be easy on him if I fall, but he's strong. He's so much stronger than he knows, and he'll be okay.'
'Look, I don't know if I'm talking to myself or not, but I just wanted you to know that I've taken note all the times you've pointed out how lucky I am. I've walked a strange road. It hasn't been an easy one, but I can't complain, and I guess I wouldn't change any of it, because it led here. It put me where I'm needed, and it led to him. So, thank you.” She nodded slightly. “That's all I wanted to say. Thank you for him.” Shepard pulled Garrus's pillow into her arms, holding it close as she gave in to the long hours and drifted off to sleep.
* * * * * Shepard awoke to a gentle hand rubbing her back. She stretched and turned over to smile up at Garrus. “Hey there.” “Hey.” He gave her one of his smiles. “Missed me, huh?” She released his pillow and set it back at the head of the bed. “No. I just have a thing for pillows.” “Mm hmm.” His hand slipped behind her neck, his thumb caressing her cheek. “So then you didn't miss this?” He leaned down and kissed her, then nuzzled his way down her neck, his tongue teasing the spot under her ear that made her entire body erupt into goose pimples. “Not in the least.” She ducked away, letting out a traitorous giggle as he hit one of her ticklish spots. “Something tells me you're lying.” He ran his hand down her neck, pulling back the covers. “Commander Shepard! Sleeping naked. Someone might think you were inviting something.” Shepard laughed and reached up to grip the yoke of his armour. “You sleep naked every night, Vakarian.” He nodded. “Of course, because I'm always inviting something.” He ran his fingers along her shoulder, turning them over as they slipped down over her chest. She grinned and nodded. “I'll keep that in mind.” She sat up and draped her arm just inside his carapace, her hand behind his neck. She glanced over at the chrono. “Still have a couple of hours before we need to meet Steve and Traynor at the arena.” She covered a yawn with the back of her hand. “Did you get your business taken care of?”
He nodded. “I did. I'm starving. How about you get dressed and we go out to get something to eat?” “Sure.” Shepard flopped back down onto the mattress. “But nothing too heavy, or I'll be throwing up all over Armax's hologrid.” Garrus chuckled. “I know just the place.” He smacked her hip through the blankets. “Get yourself up before I decide I'm more starved for you than I am for dinner.” He stood and headed out the door. Shepard watched him go, then threw the blankets back and got up. She dressed in her usual dark T shirt, trousers and hoodie, sticking a pair of shaded glasses in her pocket, then headed downstairs. Just before they stepped out of the building onto the strip, she pulled her hood up and slipped on the glasses. Garrus shook his head. “You look like a spy in an old vid.” He slipped his arm around her. She bumped him with her hip. “The hood is for anonymity, the glasses are because all the neon blinds me.” She allowed him to lead the way, only paying attention to where they were going when he stopped in front of a door. “I found this place during my first week in CSec. I lived fairly close, so I ate here nearly every day.” He opened the door. “Ooo, a rare glimpse into the secret life of CSec Officer Vakarian.” She grinned and slipped her arm through his, holding it tight. He led the way into a small, dimly lit cafe that had been decorated very much like a turn of the century Mom and Pop diner on earth. The space was dominated by a long counter, but there were a few booths in the back. Humans and aliens of every kind jammed the place wall to wall, so Shepard and Garrus had to wait a few minutes to get seats at the counter. “I guess this crowd bodes well for the food,” Shepard said. “Yeah, Ed always hires the best.” He ushered her to the vacated seats. Within a half second, an older human man in a sweater and dungarees walked up and slid menus in front of them. “You need anything, you give old Ed a call.” He peered at Garrus for a moment, then grinned. “Vakarian, that you?” Garrus chuckled and reached out to shake the offered hand. “Yeah, it's me.” He opened his mouth and turned to Shepard, presumably to introduce her, but the old man cut him off. “I heard you left CSec, signed on with Commander Shepard.” He shook his head and leaned against the bar. “Funny that, everyone saying she was nuts for three years, then wetting their pants and screaming for her to save them the moment the nightmare rode up.” “Yeah, funny,” Garrus replied. “So, Vakarian, I heard you and she were, you know, together. That true?” Garrus cleared his throat. “Yeah, it's true.” “I've only seen her on TV, but she seems sharp as a tack.” Ed scowled then gave him a broad wink. “What does she see in you?” “I ask myself that every day.” Ed laughed. “Yeah, I was the same with my wife, Lisa. She was way too good for the likes of me.” He pushed away from the bar. “Well, if Shepard ever gives your sorry ass the boot, you send her on my way. You tell her old Ed knows how to treat a fine woman right.” He looked over at Shepard. “The ravioli is good tonight kid; I recommend it.” Shepard nodded. “Thanks.” When Ed moved down the bar, she took her glasses off and set them on the counter. She looked up at the vid screen. It was showing an old romantic vid, a pleasant relief from the news that seemed to be everywhere. She turned to Garrus and smiled. “He seems like a good man. You two knew one another pretty well?” “Yeah. My first month in CSec, I caught a shoot out in the lower wards. Some weapons dealers decided to handle their differences by shooting it out. A couple of people were killed in the cross fire. Ed's wife, Lisa, was just out buying groceries and took a bullet to the neck. Bled out before we got there. My partner and I brought down the two dealers and their goons. Ed told me as long as I was in CSec, I could eat here for free.” Shepard smiled and reached out to squeeze his hand. Garrus leaned over and nuzzled her neck. “You going to take his suggestion?” He looked down at his dextro menu. “I think I will. Get a side order of extra garlic-ey garlic bread to go with it, then breathe on you all night.” She gave him a wide grin, then shook her head. “It's a sandwich or something for me until after the arena.”
Garrus ordered, then got up. “I'll be right back.” Shepard watched him go, then looked up at the screen. She'd seen the vid before. Couldn't recall the name, but she remembered liking it. “So, how do you know Vakarian?” Ed asked, appearing in front of her once more. “I serve on the Normandy as well.” Shepard ducked her face inside her hood a little further. The old man grinned. “Well, then thanks for all you're doing. What's your name, kid?” “Jane.” “Well Jane, what can an old man get you to drink?” “I would love a soda. I haven't had one in months.” She found her mouth watering at the thought of the sparkling sweetness. “It's funny the things you miss out there.” “What kind? I've got lemon, cherry, cola and orange.” “Lemon would be great, thanks.” “You know, you look like you could use something a little stronger than a soda.” He pointed at the bags under her eyes. “That's quite a set of luggage you're carrying around there.” She gave him a weary smile and a nod. “Only so many days you can fight Reapers before sleep becomes something you remember enjoying once.” “Nightmares, huh?” He reached out and patted her arm when she nodded. “Had them all the time after Lisa died.” He nodded in the direction Garrus had gone. “Vakarian used to drop by to check on me even after he caught the people responsible. He's a good man.” Shepard nodded. “The best.” “You let Ed set you up.” He gave her a wink and headed down the bar. A moment later, he placed a large glass in front of her. “There, that ought to cures what ails you.”
Shepard grinned. “Is this a lemon float?” She sucked a mouthful through the straw, then grinned. “On my god, that is so good. I haven't had one of these since I was a kid.” “Glad you like it, sweetheart. Nothing that makes me sadder than seeing a pretty girl looking like the world is sitting on her shoulders.” He leaned against the bar. “So, Shepard... is she a good person? She taking care of you and Vakarian?” Shepard took another drink. “She does the best she can. She thinks the sun rises and sets on Garrus, though. Don't worry.” “So, she's really in love with the big guy?” He nodded. “Good.” “She's really in love with him.” Shepard assured him, “Well, enjoy your drink, kid. Does Garrus still drink that wretched fruit waste product?” “Yes, he does,” Garrus answered, returning to his seat. “Just keep it upwind of the lady.” Ed laughed. “I'll leave it in the bottle, so you can keep it sealed. Otherwise, the smell might put her off her dinner.” He placed a bottle on the counter, winked at Shepard and went back to his other customers. Shepard let out a long breath and relaxed, her shoulders dropping as she looked around the cafe and not a single soul was looking her way. There weren't any whispered conversations with furtive glances her direction, or insults used in private conversations, but at a volume that was meant for her to hear. It was unexpected and pleasant. “I like it here,” she told him as their dinner was placed in front of them. He caressed her neck with the back of a finger, then rubbed her back. “I thought you might.” He dug into his meal. Shepard was half done her tuna salad when someone called out. “Vakarian? No way. Rookie, is that you?” Garrus spun and jumped up, hurrying over to greet the tall, balding human with a one armed hug. “Damn, Ridgefield... I'm glad to see you breathing. After the coup attempt...” The man nodded. “Yeah, Cerberus kicked the shite out of us.” He nodded toward Garrus's meal. “Looks like you're in the middle of dinner, so I should leave you to it...” Garrus caught his arm. “I'll grab a table, and you can join us.” He gave a wide turian smile and shook his head. “It's damned good to see you.” He led the man over to Shepard. “Ridgefield, this is Jane. Jane, this is Lance Ridgefield, my first partner.” Shepard smiled and shook Ridgefield's hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you.” Ridgefield looked back and forth for a moment, then grinned. “Wait a second. You on a date, Vakarian? Don't tell me you stopped tripping over yourself long enough to ask a woman out to dinner.” Garrus shook his head. “No, she just managed to translate all the half sentences and stumbling.” Ridgefield laughed. “This man is the official CSec record holder for most women scared off.” He chugged Garrus on the shoulder. “Glad to see that change.” Garrus chuckled, but then his head went up. “Come on, a table just freed up in the back corner.” He had a server gather their meals and move them while he took Shepard's hand and led her over to the table, letting her slide in the booth first. “Chloe Michel isn't going to be happy to know you're seeing someone,” Ridgefield teased as he sat down. “She still asks about you every time she sees me.” Shepard choked a little and stifled her laughter. Garrus jabbed her in the ribs with his elbow. “So, how is recovery from the coup going?” Garrus asked, changing the subject. “Really well. It gave us a hell of a slap in the face. Made everyone on the station realize that one day, they're going to come at us in earnest. Bailey has been recruiting every CeeBee, engineer and construction worker he can find. He and Commander Shepard put together some plans for evacuation bunkers down deep in the station's guts. You should see these places. They're a combination bunker/fortress, with elevated cover, even cover from overhead attack, that will bottleneck Cerberus or Reaper troops trying to get in the gates. We can just stand above them and mow them down.” He ordered a beer and some food. “You would have been like a little kid on Christmas morning. Someone donated three dozen massive rail guns that we mounted on either side of the gates at each bunker. They're awesome guns. Will take even an atlas out in a couple shots.” “If I get a chance before we ship back out, I'll have to take a look.” Garrus took a couple of mouthfuls. “You running evac drills? There's a hell of a lot of people here to get to safety.” “We've been running two drills a week per ward. The people have been told to have kits packed, the shelters are stocked to the roofs with provisions. We won't be able to save them all, but we're sure going to give it a shot.” Lance grinned wide and shook his head. “It's good to see you, rookie.” He gave Shepard a teasing wink. “The stories I could tell you about this guy ...” Garrus cleared his throat. “That won't be necessary.” Shepard raised a hand. “Now Garrus, don't be hasty.” She gave Ridgefield a wink. “Do tell.” She slid her hand over Garrus's thigh and leaned in against his side. Garrus chuckled and wrapped his arm around her. “You just want ammunition.” She grinned. “Absolutely, so Lance, make it a really good one.” The man returned her grin with a wicked laugh. “His first week on the job, we got a call to look into a domestic disturbance in the lower market. The couple were salarians I knew all too well. We were always being called in to break up their wrestling matches. Before I could bring him up to speed, however, Mr. Eager-for-action, Saviour-of-the-helpless and Righter-of-wrongs charged off.' 'I ran after him, trying to get him to listen to me, but Garrus just waded in and grabbed the male. He put him down hard and was trying to cuff him when the female jumped him and tossed him over the counter of one of the kiosks. Rookie bounced off the shelves, bringing two hundred pairs of ladies undergarments down on his head.' Lance laughed and took a drink. “By the time I got there, two other CSec officers and a krogan were wrestling with the woman, trying to peel her off my rookie.” “Apparently, she was the only one allowed to throw her mate around,” Garrus added. Shepard laughed. “Please tell me she was STG.” “Retired Spectre, actually. Rookie learned an important lesson that day.” “Yeah, take the females down first, because they're all nuts.” Shepard laughed and nodded. “So very true. You don't mess with our men. Only we can do that.” She relaxed into Garrus's side and sipped her float as their conversation moved from the war to old cases and back again. “It's been good to see you,” Garrus said as the time crept toward their date in the arena, “but we have to do a round in the Armax arena for the Help a Dream foundation.” Ridgefield grinned. “I heard something about Shepard doing that. I'll have to go by and watch. Ever since she broke the scoreboard over there, people pack the place every day hoping she'll come in. If word gets out that the Normandy is actually docked, you can't even get to the door.” Shepard gave Garrus a gentle push. “Let me out, I need to visit the ladies room before we go.” She slid out of the seat and held a hand out to Ridgefield. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Lance.” “And you Jane.” She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. “Take care of yourself out there.” The CSec officer nodded. “You too.” As Shepard walked away, she heard Ridgefield say, “Wait... your girlfriend's name is Jane? She's wearing an N7 sweatshirt, isn't she? Oh god, please tell me that I didn't just spend the last hour talking my yap off, completely oblivious to the fact that your girlfriend is Jane Shepard.” Garrus laughed. “I wish I could.” “Holy Christ. Now I feel like a moron.” “Don't. She hates being recognized everywhere she goes.” “I thought she'd be taller, and meaner looking—she's always so stern and formidable when they show interviews, like she's a second and a half from punching someone—but she's adorable. How the hell did you ...” Their conversation was cut off by the ladies room door closing behind her. “Adorable?” Shepard grumbled then sighed. Garrus met her at the ladies room door. Once outside, he wrapped his arm around her, blocking the crowd to manoeuvre her through. She loved that protective instinct in him; it knew no bounds. Traynor and Steve met them at the doors by the ticket counters. Traynor looked as though she was working very hard not to throw up. “I'm fine,” she said as soon as Shepard looked at her. “I'm ready. Well, as ready as I can be considering that I barely passed my firearms qualifications last time.” She wrung her hands. Shepard nodded toward the stairs. “Come on, Specialist. It'll be fine.” Steve laughed. “It's all just holograms, Traynor. Nothing can hurt you in there, not really. If you get knocked out, it just stuns you.” “Stings a bit,” Garrus grumbled. “It wouldn't if you used cover instead of hot dogging,” Shepard replied. “Of course, because you never just wade down the center, firing from the hip.” He bumped her, leaned over and kissed her cheek, then let her go. “I'll see you in there.” He waved for Cortez to join him and headed down the stairs. “Jane!” Shepard turned toward the sound of Ridgefield's voice, grateful that he'd just used her first name. The place was packed, and she didn't need a mob scene. She smiled. “Hey Lance, come to watch the matches?” He nodded. “They're taking donations for that foundation you're sponsoring, so I thought I'd come by and help out.” He shifted from foot to foot, looking awkward. “Look, I'm sorry that I didn't know who you were.” Shepard shook her head and reached out to pat his shoulder. “Don't be. That was the best dinner I've had in a long time. Once someone recognizes me somewhere, my nice quiet evenings generally go straight down the drain.” He nodded. “Fair enough. Good luck out there.” She grinned and gave him a wink. “To quote a friend: I don't need luck, I've got ammo. Take care.” Traynor stepped up next to her as she headed to the stairs. “You ready, Traynor?” “Not in the slightest, Commander.” Shepard patted the specialist's back. “Just think of it like a game of chess. You know, where the pawns will flank you and shoot you in the back, and the queen floats around shooting balls of biotic energy at you.” The woman turned a shade of pale green. “I'm not sure that's helping.” Shepard stopped at the computer at the bottom of the stairs to program in the match, making it for a squad of four against Super Elite Reapers in the Blasteroid arena, her favourite. “Oh and if you let her within arms range, she'll stick foot long fingernails like knives straight through you.” “I'm definitely going to throw up.” Shepard put an arm around her shoulders. “I'm just teasing you. You'll be fine. Stick with me, stay behind cover and have fun with it. Besides, I'm giving you my Phantom armour. It's damned sexy stuff, so afterwards, you're going to get hit on. It's guaranteed. A little something to look forward to.” She helped Traynor into the armour, then stood back and gave a nod of approval. “You look good.” “I look like I should be trying to assassinate the Council,” Traynor laughed. “Does it come with the sword?” “Sorry, no sword.” Shepard handed her a pistol and a Locust. “Are you familiar with the Locust?” Traynor shook her head. “It's a nice gun to use. Not a lot of kick, and I put the stabilizer mod on it for you. It's also got a piercing mod on it, so you can shoot enemies right through most thin cover.” Shepard showed her how to use the gun, then suited up herself, sticking her newly acquired M11 pistol on her hip and her Mattock between her shoulder blades.
“You ready?” “As I'm ever going to be.” Shepard chuckled and led the way out to where Garrus and Steve were waiting. “Oh god,” Samantha groaned, looking up. “There's so many people.” “Don't worry,” Steve answered. “They don't even realize there are three other people here.” Garrus laughed. “Come on,” Shepard said as the countdown began, moving her team to cover in line of sight of the first spawning location. “Let's kick some holo-Reaper ass for a little girl.” The announcer and countdown faded away as Shepard ducked behind cover and cued up her drone, ready to launch it once she had a target. “I'm really going to throw up inside this helmet,” Traynor squawked. Shepard patted her back. “Welcome to my world, Sam.” “No offence, Commander, but I don't want to be you.” Shepard laughed and launched her drone, opening fire on the first wave. “I get that a lot.” Her world narrowed down to the familiar rhythm, ebb and flow of battle. She kept her eye on Traynor for the first few seconds, then relaxed. Issuing a constant litany of high-pitched, inventive curses, the specialist mowed down anything that came her way, and by the time they were halfway through their second wave, Shepard could tell that Traynor was having fun. “I have to do this more often,” Samantha crowed as they finished off the last Banshee. “You're a dead eye,” Shepard said, pulling off her helmet. She looked up at the scoreboard. They'd maxed out the score. “Thanks for inviting me, Shepard.” Traynor removed her helmet and lifted a hand to wave to the cheering crowd above. “Thanks for coming along.” Shepard walked over and bumped Steve with her shoulder. “Good shooting there, Tex.” He laughed. “Yeah, thanks. It was fun.” He gave her a brief, one-armed hug. “Meet you upstairs for a drink,” she called, heading toward the ladies locker room. Just before heading in the door, she slipped her hand into Garrus's, squeezing his fingers. Despite the crowd of women wanting to speak to her in the locker room, Shepard managed to get herself showered and changed back into civilian gear without too much delay. Samantha revisited the entire match shot by shot throughout, still going as they climbed the stairs up to the concession. “Oh my God,” the specialist exclaimed. “I'm still shaking all over. I can't believe how scary and fun that was. I haven't shot a gun since my re-certification last year. The Locust is wonderful to shoot. I thought the SMG would be hard to control, but it's really solid in the hand.” Shepard just grinned and nodded, gently guiding the comm specialist up the stairs. “I can't believe how close that Banshee got. I was nearly wetting myself, and it was just a hologram. I can't imagine what it's like to face a real one. I'd probably have a heart attack. At least with the Brutes...” “Has she been doing that the whole time?” Garrus asked, stepping up beside Shepard at the top of the stairs. “She's still running on adrenaline. Give her fifteen minutes, and she'll be asleep somewhere.” He nodded and slipped his arm around her. “A quick drink here? There's somewhere I want to take you.” Shepard smiled and put her arm around his waist. “Sure. I don't get to see you in civvies often enough. It'll give me time to admire the view.” “Commander Shepard?” Shepard turned toward the little voice, it's timid query nearly lost in the noise of the crowd. A small asari in a hoverchair floated a few feet away. “Hi there.” She walked over and crouched next to the chair. “Are you Lati?” The little girl grinned and nodded. “You were amazing tonight.” She looked up at Garrus. “All of you.”
“Thank you, sweetie. I'm just glad we didn't get our butts kicked on your big night.” She took the child's hand. “Your mom's message said that you're worried that your dream to be a huntress is impossible because of the tumour. I know that coming back from something like you've been through is hard, but you can't give up on your dreams just because they might not happen. You've got to hang onto them that much harder and fight like heck to make them come true.”
The child gave Shepard a shy smile. “You're Commander Shepard, you can do anything.” She shook her head like she was sure she was being lied to. “What dreams could you have that you'd be afraid wouldn't come true?”
Sighing, Shepard leaned in closer. “Sometimes the obstacles that stand between us and our dreams are physical, like yours. Sometimes though, the problem is in our heads or our hearts. Everyone, no matter who, has to fight against something to make their dream happen.”
Sobering, Lati tilted her head off to the side a little. “What dream do you have that you're afraid won't come true?”
After a moment's hesitation, Shepard leaned in and whispered into the child's ear, not wanting to broadcast it. She leaned back. “Can that be a secret between us?”
Giving a nod, the little girl grinned wide. “That's really your dream?”
“It really is, and I'll keep working on it if you promise to keep working on yours, okay?”
“It's a deal, Commander.”
Lati's mother stepped forward and held out her hand. “Thank you, Commander Shepard. We really appreciate everything. We won't take up any more of your time.”
“It was my pleasure.”
“Would you mind if we got a picture of the two of you together?” She smiled, the wide, joyful smile of a parent delighting in seeing her child happy.
Shepard posed on one side of the chair, her arm around the child's shoulders. She smiled at the camera, but then Lati reached out a hand toward Garrus. “Just a second Mama, I want Officer Vakarian in the picture too.”
Shepard grinned at Garrus's obvious surprise, but he walked over and took the child's hand, allowing her to draw him into a hug, then took a place on the other side of the chair. Lati took their hands in hers, holding them in her lap. Once the picture was taken, she hugged them both again, pulling Jane down close to whisper in her ear.
“I know your dream will come true, Commander Shepard. I know it.”
Hugging the child back, Shepard kissed her cheek. “Thank you, sweetie, and I have a really good feeling about yours too.”
Lati's mother gave Shepard a shy hug. “Thank you again, Commander. This has meant so much to her... to both of us.”
“Good luck.” Shepard watched them, giving Lati a little wave just before they went down the stairs to the exit.
“What did you tell her?” Garrus asked, slipping his arm around her.
She gave him a soft smile and leaned in close to his ear as he led her to where Traynor and Cortez were waiting. “One day, if you're really, really lucky, I'll answer that question.” She pressed her lips against his cheekbone. “Commander... Garrus...” Steve passed them each a drink as they stepped up to the table. “Here's to making a little girl smile.” He held up his glass.
“Here. Here,” Traynor replied, clinking hers to his. “Seeing that smile was worth nearly wetting myself and throwing up in my helmet at the same time.”
“To making little girls smile,” Shepard echoed as the four of them toasted.
“And here's to not getting foot long, knife-like fingernails stabbed through my intestines,” Traynor added.
“Always worth toasting,” Garrus said and laughed.
“Okay. Okay. My turn.” Shepard held up a finger. “Just give me a second.” She walked to the counter and bought another round, returning to hand them out. “To the only brothers and sisters in arms that I can imagine at my side for this fight.” She grinned and bumped Traynor with an elbow. “And, yes, that includes you, Samantha.”
“To us then,” Traynor said, raising her glass. “We might be a small boat filled with castaways and oddities, but hell if we aren't going to kick the Reapers arses so hard they go back in time and disappear from history.”
Shepard laughed. “Sure. Here's to what she said.” They clinked their glasses and tossed back the contents.
They drank and talked for a few moments, then Garrus slipped an arm around Shepard's waist. “I'm going to steal her away now. You two have a good evening.”
Steve grinned and nodded. “Have fun.”
“Thanks for inviting me along, Commander,” Traynor said. She gave Shepard a quick, awkward embrace. “See you back on the Normandy.”
“Take the night off, Traynor. You're on leave. Relax and enjoy yourself.” Shepard looked over at Steve. “Take this woman somewhere fun. Make her eat junk food and dance. Okay? As a favour?”
Laughing, Steve laid his hand on Traynor's shoulder. “I know just the place. Goodnight Shepard... Garrus.”
Garrus led Shepard out to the taxi stand and summoned a cab.
“Where are we going?” she asked, walking around the car to get in. “Somewhere even more illegal than on top of the Presidium?” He just shrugged. “Guess you'll see when we get there.”
Relaxing down into the seat, Shepard watched the wards pass by the windows, then the car lifted into the upper lanes, turning toward the Presidium. Wonder gripped her anew as she saw the Citadel spread out before her. No matter how many times she saw that view, it never lost its magic. Twenty minutes later, Garrus guided the car down into a part of the Presidium she'd never seen before. Office buildings towered around her on both sides of the lake, the artificial sun beating down on people of all races hurrying around with an air of desperate urgency.
Shepard stepped out of the car and looked up at a large, glass fronted building, garden balconies stretching along the front of every floor. The turian flag hung just above a large door, and smaller flags, presumably those of the colonies, spread out to either side. No one went in or out the door, bypassing it due to the sign declaring that the building was closed.
“Where are we?” she asked, taking a few steps toward the building.
He just tilted his head a little and reached out his hand. When she gripped it, he walked to the door, ignoring the fact that it was closed. She almost said something, but then he entered a code into a security panel and the door opened for them.
“Suddenly I feel like my boyfriend is some sort of secret agent,” she said and chuckled.
Garrus just smiled and led her inside.
The lobby was richly appointed in decidedly turian décor. Shepard found it both alien and appealing. So much of the Citadel was decorated in a racially neutral way that it was refreshing to step into a space that felt as though it possessed an identity.
“Turian Cultural Bureau,” she read on a small sign. Well, that explained the décor and art. She walked up to a large painting that depicted a battle scene, but in such a way that it felt like a ballet of colour and light. She smiled, reaching out, wanting to touch it, but stopping before her fingers connected. No doubt, the piece was insanely valuable.
“It's by one of our most famous classical painters,” Garrus said, stepping up behind her. “Damman Larkarus.” He sighed. “I've always loved his work. He did other, less martial, paintings that I hope you see some day. He viewed the turian culture and people in a much more romantic way than most. Perhaps that is why my people revere him. His work gives them license to see life through a softer lens.”
Shepard turned to face him. “I like that, a softer lens.” Looking around her at the dark taupe walls with deep emerald and stone trim, she smiled. “I like it here. It feels very solid. Beautiful in a strong, enduring way.”
He walked over to a sculpture consisting of two twisted pieces of very aged metal that, despite their abstract nature, was obviously two bodies locked in struggle. Garrus cocked his head a little as he looked at it. “Don't get me wrong, we love that we're a martial culture. Battle, honour, loyalty, service, sacrifice... its our blood and bone, but sometimes we forget about our souls. We focus on duty to our people and miss that our most important duty is to the people we love. It's all meaningless without that base. What are we fighting for? Chunks of rock?” He turned a little to look into her eyes. “Or to give everyone the chance to feel... this?”
Shepard nodded, just watching him, sensing that the weight she'd felt hanging over him since his father's comm was coming to a head. He'd heard since that they'd made it off Palaven, but it hadn't eased whatever burden he carried.
“I told you that I wanted to paint when I was younger?” He wandered along the walls, looking at the paintings like old friends. “I once had a chance to turn my life down a path I wanted for myself, but my father didn't approve. He'd always said that he supported me, but when I wanted to do something that he hadn't expected and didn't approve of, that support disappeared. Or at least I thought it had.”
A painting drew Shepard toward the opposite end of the room. It depicted two turian children hugging one another as they crouched behind cover. A massive, faceless, raceless army passed by the other side of the fragile shelter, the host nothing but glinting weapons and malice. It filled her with a strange, superstitious fear, as if the painter had glimpsed into the galaxy's future to find the Reapers there.
“I used to come here nearly every day,” Garrus said, stepping up to her side. “I loved the peace and quiet. This building houses the largest collection of fine art anywhere other than Palaven.”
“Come on.” He took her hand and led her to a curved staircase. At the top, a corridor stretched before them, the walls lined with art that Shepard longed to admire, but Garrus moved her past them to a door at the end. He entered another code and they waited for a minute or so before the door opened.
Garrus gestured for Shepard to precede him onto the hologrid, and she stepped from the corridor into a field of tall grass. Smiling, she reached out to brush her fingers over the purple tassels that crowned each plant. “It's beautiful. I love the way the wind makes the grass look like purple-silver waves.”
Garrus walked in, the door disappearing into the holographic illusion as it closed.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her further into the room, stopping at the edge of a steep cliff. She gasped at the sheer beauty, the juxtaposition of the brilliant, blue-green river flowing across the valley below and the vast metropolis that spilled through a break in the escarpment to crash upon its bank.
“This is amazing,” she whispered, pressing herself against his side. “Palaven?”
He nodded and pointed toward the city. “That's the city where I was born. A house buried in there about a kilometer or so. When I was much younger, I used to climb up here nearly every day.” His finger swung toward a break in the grass a few meters to Shepard's left. “There's a trail just over there that leads down the face of the escarpment.” Releasing her, he stepped closer to the edge, staring out.
“I can see why you'd come here. It's beautiful.” Huge, steel blue boulders stuck out of the grassland here and there where a glacier had dropped them on its way through. As Shepard took everything in, she noticed a herd of grazing animals moving along the far side of the valley. They were too far away to make out any features other than a grey-brown field of movement. Birds or their analogues, circled above in long, slow arcs, wings held out to catch the thermals.
Garrus let out a long breath. “I spent most of my life furious with my father for not being there for us. His job always seemed so much more important than we were, and I hated him for that nearly as much as I loved him. Still, I followed him into CSec.” He shook his head and cursed. “Half my time was spent seeking his approval, the other half ...” He turned away from the edge to face her. “I was so busy trying to not be my father that I made all his mistakes. I abandoned my mother and sister as surely as he had.”
Shepard called him over with a small jerk of her head and held out her hand. When he took it, she sat, pulling him down with her so that their knees touched. She caressed his hand with her thumb, leaving the silence between them intact to encourage him as he wished.
“I called Solana before we went through the Omega IV Relay.” He took her other hand. “My mother had been ill for a while. A neurological syndrome. Sol was left looking after her. She was pissed when I called, and I couldn't blame her. I just left her trying to deal with Mom's illness and Dad. I managed to get Mom into an experimental treatment study, but it was too late. She passed just after I returned to Palaven.”
Shepard squeezed his hand.
He looked at her, his brow plates and mandibles lowering in a scowl, his eyes sad. “I need to do better by them, Shepard. I hope I get the chance. I look back on who I was even three years ago, and I see why my father refused to give me the respect and approval that I demanded. I hadn't done anything to earn either. I wasn't anyone to be respected.”
“What about your mother? Were you close?” she asked softly.
Garrus stared down at their joined hands. “When I was a boy. As the years passed, I became more resentful and angry. She always made excuses for my father. Now I know that she just loved him not in spite of who he was, but because of who he was, shortcomings and all.” He looked up. “Mom did the best she could, and she didn't deserve a son who demanded that she choose constantly, resenting her when she couldn't.” He shifted, pulling her into his arms.
Shepard turned and pressed in against him, laying her head in the angle between his shoulder and carapace.
“Solana worked hard to be everything a turian should be. She's so smart and so tough. She sailed through her military service, could have been a general some day if that was what she wanted. She was leaning toward the private sector, but then Mom got sick, and Dad was still working on the Citadel, so she put her life on hold to look after the family.” He cursed.
“Beating yourself up won't make the past any different, Garrus. When you get a chance to do better, do better. Be there for them now.” She sighed. “Did you get to see your mom when you were back?”
“Yes. I'm not sure she even knew I was there, but it gave me a chance to tell her a lot of things I needed to.”
“They got off planet, Garrus. We'll find them and make sure you have the chance to be the son and brother you want to be. We will.” She turned and kissed him. “You mom loved your dad because of who he was, but you know the same applied to you. And now, I can't imagine any mother could wish for her son to become a better man.”
Sighing, she rested her forehead against his jaw. “You might have been angry, you might have been rebellious, but even back when I met you, you had outstanding qualities.” She brushed her lips against his skin, sighing softly, savouring the rough warmth of him. “Don't be too hard on the old Garrus. He always had my friendship, admiration and respect. And you know I don't give those things away for free.”
He gently pushed her back until she was laying on the thick carpet of grass, and leaned over her, exploring her face and neck with gentle talons, his eyes locked on hers. She reached up, taking his face between her hands, her thumbs brushing along his cheekbones.
“Some day, I'm going to lay you down in the grass in this very spot on Palaven and make love to you with the moons high overhead, the wind tickling the grass against your skin.” He kissed her softly.
“Mmmm.” She returned his kiss. “Thank you for bringing me here, Garrus.”
He covered her face and neck in soft but passionate kisses. “Promise me something, Shepard,” he whispered, his face turned into her neck. “We finish this thing together, right to the end.”
“Right to the end.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 15, 2013 4:10:05 GMT 1
Post Leviathan
Excruciating pain ripped through every cell of her body. She struggled to find the control to open the diving mech through the haze that clouded her eyes and wormed its way through her head making it all but impossible to think. The hatch on the mech opened and she tumbled out. Through the roaring of her pulse in her ears, she thought she heard gunfire, the bellow of brutes. She fought her way to her feet only to tumble back to the metal deck plating. Pain doubled her up, curling her into a ball of a misery so intense that nothing existed outside of it. Then someone wrapped an arm around her, hauling her up into their arms. She did her best to help, but it was all she could do to draw breath. Strong, gentle arms lifted her, and she allowed the pain to take her away. “Come on, Shepard, wake up!” Garrus's voice broke through the pain and darkness like a shaft of warm light. The pain eased, still pounding through her every cell, but lessened. “She's freezing, and she surfaced too quickly. We need to get her to Dr. Chakwas.” Shepard opened her eyes to see Garrus leaning over her. She drew in a breath that burned like fire and began to choke. He ran his omnitool over her. “Just lay still Shepard. We'll have you back on the Normandy in a few minutes.” Despite his words, she fought back against the pain and the cold that seemed to have frozen her to the core, scrambling up into a seat. Garrus stood and stepped forward, but she lifted a hand to reassure him. “I'm okay. My head might split open, but I'm good.” “You had me concerned, Shepard. Never do that again.” “Concerned? Is that what turians call it?” James laughed. “I lost track of how many times he said that if Leviathan didn't kill you, he would.” “The big guy was having kittens, no doubt about it,” Steve chimed in from the front. “All right, all right,” Garrus grumbled and sat next to Shepard, a hand surreptitiously slipping behind her back. She gave him a tight-lipped smile and crossed her arms. Putting pressure on her elbows and wrists eased the pain in them somewhat. When the shuttle came to rest in the Normandy's shuttle bay, she stood, staggering into Garrus. “You're going straight to Dr. Chakwas,” he said under his breath. She nodded, not arguing when he steadied her with an arm around her waist. None of her body parts seemed to be cooperating with her. Neither one of them said anything on the elevator ride up. Shepard knew that he hated her taking insane risks just as he knew that she needed to take them. There was nothing for either of them to say. “You haven't come back from a mission looking this worked over for at least a week,” Dr. Chakwas said as Shepard entered. The doctor activated her omnitool. “I was beginning to feel unneeded.” She shook her head. “What were you doing out there? You've got decompression illness.” “Dove three klicks down in a diving mech. The ascent was ... “Shepard shrugged and hobbled toward the bed the doctor indicated. “.. abrupt.” “Lucky for you, all that tech Cerberus stuck in you managed to compensate for the worst of the nitrogen. Judging by these levels, anyone else would have died.” She passed Shepard a gown and shaded the windows. “Get out of your armour and lie down. We'll have you fixed up in no time.” Shepard fumbled with her armour; her fingers unable to manage the buckles, but Garrus just grasped her shaking hands, set them at her sides and took over. Tenderly, he removed her armour and helped her out of her sweaty uniform into the gown. After practically lifting her onto the bed, he covered her with the blanket that Dr. Chakwas passed him. Shepard grasped his hand as he turned to leave. “Thank you, Garrus.” He nodded and bent to touch his brow to hers for a split second before pulling away and heading for the door. Dr. Chakwas pulled the scanner over Shepard. “I imagine he was not impressed with whatever shenanigans you were up to out there.” Shepard chuckled. “I would hardly call tracking down a reaper killer shenanigans.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “This one hurts like hell though, doc.” “Don't worry, in a couple of hours, you will be up and defying death again.” “I'll try to give the death defiance a day or two's rest.” “Close your eyes and rest. Just going to create a pressurized field around you and ease your body up to standard atmospheric pressure. There's no reason that you can't sleep through the entire process.” Shepard did as she was told. “Mmmm, sleep sounds real good right about now.” A moment later, sleep claimed her. When Shepard awoke, the med bay was dim and quiet. She was alone. Gingerly, she sat up, testing all her joints to discover that they were all functioning and pain free. Relieved, she slipped off the mattress onto the cold deck plating, wincing a little as the grooved material dug into her feet. She found a folded sweatsuit on Karin's desk and put it on. Her shower sandals were placed neatly on the floor. She slid her feet into them and looked around for her armour, not finding it. Garrus, no doubt. She smiled and headed to the elevator. Garrus walked around the corner as she pressed the button. “Feeling better?” “Yeah,” she nodded and sighed. “How long are you going to be working on your report?” She chuckled. “Days, but right now, point form only. How about you? Going to be coming up soon?” “Replacing a focusing lens. Shouldn't take me too long.” “Good.” She pressed her hand against his chest plate, smiled and stepped into the elevator. Garrus nodded. When Shepard stepped into her quarters, she heard the shower calling to her, but ignored it. She needed to get as much out of her head and into the computer as she could before she started to forget details. It had been one hell of a day; one that the galaxy needed to know as much about as possible. If what Leviathan said was true, and she had no reason to question it, if the giant space crabs had just left well enough alone, organic and synthetic life might have figured out how to get along millions of years ago. The lessons learned from bringing the Geth and Quarians together could have been learned naturally. Instead, the Reapers swooped in as soon as conflict between organics and their machines broke out, harvesting everyone and everything involved. If parents raced in and picked up children every time they fell, they never learned to walk. She was still typing at the speed of light when Garrus walked in, two trays of dinner in his hands. “Come on,” he said, nodding toward the couch. “Come get something to eat.” “Okay. I'll be... right... there.” She typed in a couple more points that she needed to remember. Garrus sat down, waited a couple of minutes. “Come on, Shepard.” She chuckled. “Coming. Coming.” “Before the Reapers complete their harvest or after?” “That's touch and go.” She slid her work over to a datapad and got up. “Hm, dinner almost smells edible.” Garrus shrugged. “James cooked it. He said you needed something that would stick to your ribs. That sounds ominous... and painful.” Shepard sat next to him, dropping the datapad onto the table. “I've tried a couple of his experiments, and they've been pretty good. Better than that calamari concoction that Gardner made. Was like eating spicy rubber.” She shuddered then lifted the lid off the plate. “Looks like beans and rice of some variety.” “Probably best not to look too closely.” He lifted his tray and settled back into the corner of the couch. Shepard chuckled, then yawned. “Probably true.” She ate a couple of bites. “Mm, it's good.” She picked up her plate and leaned back, resting against his side. “So, you made good progress on your report?” “Yes. There's just so much. I thought talking to Sovereign on Virmire was insane, but to talk to a life form that existed before the Reapers—their blueprint—makes me wonder if I really am crazy. This whole nightmarish harvest cycle has been going on for hundreds of thousands of years, if not millions, because they created an AI to preserve life. It's all inside out.” He sighed and nodded. “We might have figured things out a long time ago if they hadn't interfered.” She smiled and nodded. “I was thinking about that just before you came in. Look at how much we learned from Legion. Multiply that by a thousand, and we might have had it together by now.” She finished her dinner and set the plate on the table. “Mmm, I am dying for a shower, but I'm more lazy than I am freezing.” She flopped back against his side. “Too lazy to move another inch. Can you hire someone to carry me around for the rest of my life?” He chuckled and gave her a gentle shove. “Get off me, Shepard. Go take a shower.” She flopped over the other way and laid on her side. “Oh yeah, this is much better.” She closed her eyes. “I really do need a shower. The doc got my body temp back up, but I swear I'm still freezing.” Garrus set down his tray and stood, unbuckling his tunic. “Then get up and go take a shower.” “I need a bathtub, then I could just slime across the floor like a slug and flop in.” He lifted his tunic off and draped it over the back of the chair at the desk then bent to take off his boots. “You really just going to lie there and wait for me to find a slave to carry you around?” “Yep.” “You're quite the woman.” “I know. An impressive specimen to be sure. Leviathan called me an anomaly.” “You are that.” Garrus bent over her, grabbed her wrist and in a single, fluid motion, slung her over his shoulder. Shepard yelped at her sudden view of the floor. “Vakarian!” “You wanted to be carried.” “Not like a sack of potatoes. I was thinking perched regally on someone's arm – probably have to be a krogan.” He smacked her backside. “That's why I'm here, Shepard. It's my job to drag you back to reality.” He carried her up to the bathroom and in the door. She sighed. “Well, since you got me this far, you might as well go all the way.” He turned on the water, extra hot, the way she liked it, then set her down. Shepard stumbled a little as the blood rushed from her head, but his arms slipped around her to steady her even before she could move to save herself. He unzipped her sweater and slid it off her shoulders then tossed it onto the vanity. Shepard rested her hands on his hips for a moment before sliding them up over the layered plates that covered his torso to the defined muscles of his shoulders. She raised her arms over her head as he lifted her Tshirt off, then lowered them, her fingertips trickling down the sides of his face softly. Garrus leaned in, touching his brow to hers. He ran his talons through her hair, then down her neck and across her shoulders, chuckling softly as her skin prickled into gooseflesh. He nuzzled her neck, his tongue teasing just below her ear. Shepard undid her trousers and slid them down, stepping out of them and kicking them behind her without ever breaking contact. “So,” he whispered in her ear, “too lazy for this?” She slid her panties down, kicking them behind her as well. “You might have to carry me again.” “I can probably handle that.” Leaning in, he kissed her, his hands sliding down her back to cup her backside, lifting her into her arms. Shepard wrapped her legs around him, not breaking the kiss as he backed under the water. “You hang on to me,” he said, his voice a low, intimate rumble. “I'll take care of you.” “Oh, don't worry, I have no intention of letting go.” She kissed from his brow to the end of his nose. “Ever.” He bathed her as they kissed, holding her tight against one side of his chest. “Can't really get your front done this way,” he chuckled. Shepard grinned. “True.” She slid down, her hands sliding down his body to the waist of his pants. “I'm sure the reason that so many of your things hit the laundry already soaking wet is the cause of much speculation.” She undid the stays then slid her hands inside, easing them over the points of his hips. “They're a pretty bright group, I'm sure they've figured it out.” Shepard crouched, her hands slipping down the outside of his thighs. She knelt between his feet, undoing the stays around his spur. She tossed his pants behind her, then ran her hands up his thighs. Her lips followed her fingers, moving up the smooth, hard curves. She felt his whole body go a little rigid as her kisses got close to home. “Shepard...” He reached down and took her hands. She resisted when he tried to draw her to her feet. She squeezed his hands and looked up into his eyes, giving him a wink. “Trust me. Yeah?” After a few minutes, she knew it was time to pay heed to Mordin's warning and allowed Garrus to lift her back into his arms. Shepard wrapped herself around him, the center blade of his chest pressed into her as their bodies joined. “I think we wasted about a month's worth of water on that one,” Shepard sighed as she slid down to stand on her own feet. She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. “But, I'm a lot warmer now.” She pulled away, kissed him, then tossed him a towel before drying herself off. She quickly dried off the walls and fixtures, then tossed their clothes and towels into the laundry before following him down to bed. She grabbed a blanket out of one of the crates and spread it out over the duvet. “You okay?” Garrus asked, walking up behind her and slipping his arms around her. She nodded and turned in his arms to return the embrace. “Yeah, just feeling the need for a little extra comfort. It's been a weird day.” “You climb in. I'll find a sufficiently mindless vid to watch.” Shepard burrowed under the covers, pulling them up tight under her chin. “I think I need another one.” Garrus turned on the vid, then grabbed another blanket. He threw it over her, then took a pillow out of the other crate, and climbed into bed, sitting with his back against the bulkhead. He placed the pillow against his side, then held out his arm. “Come on, get yourself over here.” Shepard curled in next to him. They watched the vid in silence for a few minutes. “So.” Garrus cleared his throat. “That thing you did with your tongue... why wasn't that in any of the vids Joker gave me.” Shepard chuckled, feeling her face heat up. “Maybe he thought it was something best learned first hand.” “If I didn't know that it would lead to an incredibly awkward moment, I'd thank him for that.” Shepard laughed. “Yep, if you did that, we'd both be stuck out there wearing the Blood Dragon armour.” Garrus nodded. “Yeah, I don't have the build to make that look good.” Shepard reached up and caressed his cheek with the backs of her fingers. “I love you, Vakarian.” He leaned down and kissed her, then pulled her back in tight against him, gently stroking her arm. “Shepard?” “Mm?” “About today...” “What about today?” “I'm sorry.” She pulled back so that she could look into his eyes. “For what?” “For questioning you about going down there. I just ...” She smiled and shook her head. “You don't have to be sorry for worrying about me or wanting me to be safe. We both know the risks we have to take, but that doesn't mean we have to like them.” She took his hand between both of hers. “You think I don't spend every fight worrying about you? Especially with your tendency to avoid cover? I die a little every time a banshee gets too close, or a brute gets you down. It's part of the deal, I guess.” “I've never been in this position before,” he said softly. “Never had anything that I was afraid to lose.” “Yeah, me neither.” “Alenko?” Shepard shook her head. “No, not like this. I cared about Kaidan, thought I loved him. If something had happened to him, I would've mourned, but if something happens to you...” She curled back in against his side. “A part of me would die that would never grow back.”
He hugged her. “Shepard, I ...” She waited a moment for him to finish then leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I know.” “Actually, I was going to ask you to do that thing with your tongue again.” Shepard laughed and elbowed him. “How's that human fetish coming along?” “It's progressive. I was thinking of giving Dr. Michel a call the next time we're at the Citadel.” “Tell her hi from me.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 15, 2013 5:30:57 GMT 1
Mass Effect-The Internal Machinations of Exploding Stars
Mass Effect: Part Three (So, here it begins. Shepard used the Destruct ending to kill the Reapers, the Normandy crashed and... life goes on. Sorta.)
Aftermath's a Bitch I
“Promise me something, Shepard. We finish this thing together, right to the end.”
“Right to the end.”
Garrus woke, but kept his eyes closed tight, not trying to remain asleep, but trying to hold on to the illusion of Shepard pressed in tight against him, his arms holding her, her hair tickling his cheek, her breath soft against his neck. It lasted for a breath or two before it shattered, leaving behind only the scent of her on his pillow. Soon, that would fade as well. He shook his head and sat up, his hand reaching for the picture on the edge of his console even before his feet hit the floor. He held it for a moment, unable to look at it and face the reality that it was the only way he'd ever see her face again. Still, he couldn't seem to put it down, carrying it tucked inside his armour. He tucked it into its spot and looked down the length of the forward battery. He hadn't been able to set foot in the Captain's cabin yet. He started at a rap on the door. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself for the day ahead. “Yes?” The door opened, and Liara stepped through. “Good morning.” “You don't need to keep checking up on me, Liara. I'm fine.” She sat on the crate at his work bench. “You don't leave me much choice. No one sees you unless you're working, and then they're all afraid to say anything to make matters worse. They're worried about you, they miss her, and they need to feel that someone is holding the reins. You can't spend the rest of the time before we return to Earth locked in here alone.” He shook his head. “I've been going through her logs.” She smiled sadly. “Probably more as a way to keep her close, than anything. It's good to hear her voice.” She sighed. “Anyway, a couple of days ago, I found mention of this.” Liara held out a small package. “I didn't know if giving it to you would help or hurt, so I've just been hanging onto it.” “What is it?” “I don't know. There was just a note in her log on where to find it and to make sure it was given to you.” He stared at it, but didn't reach out to take it from her hand. “Was she so exhausted, so worn down by the responsibility and the weight of the entire galaxy, so beaten up by the endless body count, that she went to the Citadel never intending to come back?” He looked up, meeting the asari's eyes for a moment, then shook his head and looked down at the floor. “I saw it. Every day I watched her shoulders bow a little more under the weight until I thought it would crush her.” Liara sighed. “I don't know if in the end it was too much, but I do know that she was looking forward to a life after.” “Was she? Didn't you feel it, those last couple of days... at the party... just before we came back to the Normandy? She was saying goodbye. I think she knew that whatever happened, she wouldn't be coming back.” “You may not have seen this,” Liara said, “because you weren't on the outside looking in. Whenever Shepard walked into a room, she scanned everyone there, looking for you. Once she found you, she had eyes for no one else. She watched you with a ... “ She shrugged, struggling to find the word. “... wonder, that made me a little jealous, actually. It was as though if she looked away, she wouldn't be able to believe that she'd found something so rare and beautiful.” She placed the envelope in his hand. “She didn't take that beam to the Citadel to save the galaxy. That was there, of course, everyone counting on her for their future, but in the end, she did it because if she didn't, there was no future with you.” Liara stood. “Dr. Chakwas asked me to tell you that if you don't make an appearance in Med Bay before noon, she is hiring a goon squad to drag you in. Also, Traynor figures that they should have the QEC back up some time today. It would be nice to know that we're not alone out here.” She stepped to the door, but then turned and laid her hand on his shoulder. “I hope whatever is in that package gives you some peace. Shepard would have died for anyone, but she would have lived for you, Garrus.” “I'll be out in a few minutes.” She smiled. “Good. There was a reason Shepard asked you to take her place if she fell. The crew is looking to you now, just as she did.” When the door shut behind Liara, Garrus looked down at the package in his hand. He made no move to open it, afraid that whatever she had left him would sever the last threads of living connection he felt to her: that it would make everything all too final. However, in the end, wanting whatever piece of her she had sealed away in that envelope for him won out and he tore the tab open. Inside he found a paper folded around a small, hard object. When he unfolded the paper, a ring fell into his hand. It looked like a band of platinum with a strip of gold around the center. A simple, sturdy chain had been threaded through it, presumably so Shepard could wear it around her neck. It was far too large for her fingers. He closed his hand around it and looked to the paper. It was a letter, written in Shepard's peculiar, slanted script.
“Dear Garrus, You're sleeping right now, but with us reaching earth tomorrow morning, I have too much racing around in my head to join you. Over the past few days, I have experienced several moments where I felt the universe lay a hand on my shoulder and say, 'Stop here, take note of the gift I've given you, and say goodbye.' I believe it's been telling me to make my peace and let go. I feel it in the depths of my bones, Garrus. I am coming to an ending. I don't know the manner of that ending, I just know that the life I have led up until now will end tomorrow on earth. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid and sad. When my grandfather died, my father told me that I should never fill my life with things, but pack it as full of loved ones as I could. He was a man of great faith who believed that all we needed to sustain us were the things other people placed in our heart. For a long time, I ignored that advice. However, these past few years on the Normandy, with these crews, with you... I have been blessed beyond measure, and for that I'm very grateful. Just before my father died, he pressed this ring into my hand. It has been passed down through six generations; Shepard fathers giving it to their sons. Although they are a little hard to see now, there are words engraved around the band. Love, loyalty, selflessness. As a child, I asked my grandfather what they meant, and he said it was the recipe for a happy, peaceful and well-lived life. I wore this ring around my neck from the moment my father gave it to me until the night before the Collector Base. I didn't want it being lost out there if the worst came to pass. Then, wonder of wonders, I fell in love with the most remarkable man, and I put it away, saving it. I had hoped to give it to you on the day that we pledged our lives to one another. I hope I still get that chance. If I fall, however, I want to make sure you have it. I know my father will be pleased that it's in your possession. He would have loved you like a son had you ever had the chance to meet. You're everything he said he wanted for me in a mate. I've said goodbye to all the other important people in my life. I need leave them nothing more than the memories we shared. If I fall, those doors will close softly. You however... well, no matter how much time I'm given to lie in the circle of your arms, to admire your singular beauty and strength, no matter how many beats of my heart course this love through me, it'll never be enough. There will never be enough time nor sufficient words to tell you how much I care, so keep this one small token close to your heart. That's where I'll always live because no matter what lies between us, even death, I can't bear to be parted from you. I love you, Garrus Vakarian. You're my whole heart. Don't mourn me too long, the crew will need you, and I haven't left you, not really. Now, I'm going to return to our bed and curl up in your arms, the only place I've ever felt truly safe. Always yours, always with you.”
He read it through twice, then folded it and placed it in with her picture. He looked down at the ring, turning it over in his hand. She'd meant it to be his wedding ring, as was the human custom. He undid the chain, clasping it around his neck, then dropped it down inside the collar of his armour. She was right. She wasn't gone. In London, she'd promised he'd never be alone. She wouldn't leave him, not Shepard. Shepard was a woman of her word. And in return, he wouldn't give up on her. Not this time. He stood, folded up his cot and stowed it before heading out. Liara, James and Kaidan were eating in the mess hall when he arrived. He met Liara's quizzical gaze and nodded. She smiled. “So, are we going to place Shepard's plaque today?” James asked. “The crew has been asking when we're going to do that,” Kaidan confirmed. Garrus nodded. It was time to give the crew closure, let them focus on the task of getting the Normandy ready to return to earth. They needed to look forward, not back. “1300.” “ We'll spread the word.” Kaidan looked down at his breakfast, but just shoved it around with his spoon. Garrus walked past and into medbay. “I was just about to send in the troops,” Dr. Chakwas said, turning to greet him. “How are you feeling?” “Fine. None the worse for being drop kicked by an exploding tank.” She scanned him with her omnitool. “Fractures and internal damage all well on the mend. Another couple of days and you'll be right as rain.” She leaned against her desk. “What are your plans once we get back to earth? Are you going to return to help rebuild Palaven?” “No. I know the Citadel better than most. I'll stay and help with the clean up.” She nodded. “You need to look for her.” “Most of us gave up on her three years ago. Liara didn't and because of that, Shepard came back. I'm not giving up until they show me her body. I owe her that.” He took a step toward the door. “Thank you, doctor.” “You're quite welcome, Garrus. Take care.” As he passed the table in the mess, a hand reached out and grasped his. “Garrus, I made us something to eat. Sit down for a minute,” Tali said. He opened his mouth to decline, but then his body reminded him that he hadn't been eating regularly. “Thanks Tali.” He sat across from the quarian, looking down at the bowl full of who knew what. “What is this?” “Cereal. Try it.” She chuckled at the face he made. “Come on, a few grains and nuts once in a while aren't going to kill you.” He picked at it with the spoon, then took a mouthful. After a minor struggle, he swallowed it. “It tastes okay, but you might have noticed, turians don't have teeth made for small granular foods.” She shrugged. “We all have our limitations.” He shook his head at her teasing and wrestled another mouthful. “So, how are the repairs coming down in engineering?” “We're just about ready to test the drive core. We figure another three days to finish up going through all the electronics replacing everything that got fried. Adams says we'll have her in the air in a week; I'm saying six days, just to be contrary.” She ate a spoonful, putting it through her suit's filters. “Liara said that they'll have the QEC up sometime today.” She nodded. “It will be good to see who's still out there. There has to be people out there, right? We made it, after all.” She chuckled. “As much as I love this crew, I don't think we're exactly a viable genetic base for repopulating the galaxy.” He nodded. “I'm sure our people are still out there.” He finished his mouthful. “Will you return to Rannoch? Tali played with her cereal for a minute. “I don't know. The Normandy is my home, but if the Alliance takes it back, I'll have no choice. Garrus, do you think it's possible that Shepard...” She stopped, the thought unfinished. She looked up at him. “I lost my mother cycles ago, my father before that even though he was still alive. Shepard wasn't just my captain...” She sighed and shook her head as her voice broke. “It is unwise to harbour false hope,” Javik said, walking around the divider and heading for the frig. “All you will gain is disappointment. Better to remain fixed in reality. Honour the commander's sacrifice without clinging to the dead.” Garrus stood and picked up his bowl. “Thanks for breakfast, Tali.” He headed for the solitude of the forward battery. Javik might be correct, but Garrus didn't know if he could tolerate the Prothean's complete lack of empathy, compassion, or even common courtesy. “Garrus?” Traynor's voice came through on his radio. “Yes, specialist?” “We did it, Sir. The QEC is up. Admiral Hackett is available and waiting in the war room.” “Excellent work, Traynor. Have Liara and Adams meet us there.” He hurried out the door, practically jogging to the elevator. At last, after nearly two weeks marooned on this planet, contact with civilization. Traynor, Liara and Adams were there when he arrived, Traynor stepping forward to victoriously connect the comm. Admiral Hackett appeared before them, his imposing, rugged figure looking worn and exhausted. Still, he smiled. “Vakarian, Dr T'Soni, it's good to hear from you. We were worried the Normandy hadn't made it.” He returned Adam's and Traynor's salutes. “Engineer Adams. Specialist Traynor.” Garrus stepped forward. “The blast knocked the Normandy out of the mass effect corridor, but the crew suffered no losses in the crash. The Normandy took moderate damage, but we began repairs immediately. The others will be able to fill you in on the specifics, but they've told me we'll be space worthy in about a week.” “That's excellent news. The surviving fleet rendezvoused at earth, but supplies were in short supply, so most departed for their homeworlds immediately, except for the Quarians. They're still repairing and salvaging ships and plan to head for Rannoch in another couple of weeks.” Liara stepped up beside Garrus. “What of the Citadel, Admiral? Has there been any sign of Shepard?” Hackett shook his head. “I'm afraid not. We recovered Admiral Anderson's body a couple of days ago, but we just managed to reconnect the Citadel to London through the beam to start an intensive search and rescue operation. Thousands of workers are scouring the wreckage for survivors, but we are finding very few, and most of them are out at the end of the ward arms, furthest from the blast. There's little hope that Shepard could have survived at its center. I'm sorry.” The others took over the call, bringing the Admiral up to speed on their location, supplies, repairs, and estimated time before they could leave for earth. Garrus stepped back to allow them to conduct their business. When they were done, they headed out to their work stations, eager to return to work and get them all home. “You're commanding the Normandy?” Hackett asked Garrus when it was just the two of them. “Yes Sir, Shepard asked me to step up and look after her people – our people – if anything happened to her.” “Good.” Hackett sighed. “She did us all proud. Pulled off the impossible.” He looked down, shook his head then cleared his throat. Garrus nodded. “She excelled at that.” He paused. “Have you heard anything from Palaven, Admiral?” “Primarch Victus contacted me from the Turian Fleet two days ago. His flagship just got their QEC operational as well. He's been in contact with Palaven. From what he told me, sounds like it's in about the same shape as earth. Right now, its all any of us can do to find enough food, clean water and shelter for our people.” He shifted from one hip to the other and crossed his arms. “It's going to be a struggle for all the races to recover, but thanks to Shepard, we've got that chance.” “Yes Sir.” “Keep me apprised of your progress. Get your crew back to earth, Vakarian. They have a hell of a thank you waiting.” Hackett straightened. Garrus nodded, giving the Admiral a small turian smile. “I will Sir. Vakarian out.” At 1300, he steeled himself and headed out to the memorial wall. They had already added Anderson's name. He took a deep breath and looked over at the crew. The team stood in a loose semi-circle around the wall, the crew behind them. Kaidan stood off to one side, his eyes dry but red and swollen, Shepard's plaque in his hand. He opened his mouth to say something, then just thrust the plaque at Garrus. The rest of the crew stared at the floor panels, trying to control their grief and hide it. He tried to think of something to say, but came up blank. What there was to say, they already knew. He turned to the wall, stepped forward and lifted the plaque. He started to set in place, then stopped. It was a lie. His mandibles fluttered as the absolute certainty settled into his gut. Shepard wasn't dead. He stepped back and turned to face them. “She isn't dead.” All eyes snapped to his face, disbelief and sympathetic understanding turning to hope as they saw the certainty in his eyes. “Well then let's get our asses back to Earth,” Joker said and limped off toward the bridge. “Garrus...” Liara stepped forward. “Admiral Hackett...” “He's wrong. I know it as positively as I know you're standing there.” He passed her the plaque. “Let's get this ship in the black, where it belongs, and go get our Captain.”
II Pain. Darkness. Only these things existed in the void that clung to her like a heavy blanket, dragging her down. A siren call from the depths of the void reached out to her, coaxing her to let go and slip into its embrace forever. “It will all end,” the darkness promised. “No more pain. No more fear. Just silence and peace.” Peace. That one word burned through her thoughts, igniting the center of the darkness as it registered. She winced as it flared like the brightest of suns, then settled into a twinkling diamond amidst the black. “Peace,” the light promised. “There is peace and love beyond the pain, but to find it you must free yourself of this place.” The darkness pulled at her, caressing her with its oaths of rest and oblivion, but that single light held her fast. “He waits beyond the pain, but you must breathe.” He? She took a single gasp, air burning like molten metal as it stabbed into her lungs. The weight of her chest pressed the breath back out. “Keep breathing,” the light whispered. “He will find you.” Gasp. “You are alive, and he will find you.” Gasp. Each breath lasted a second and a lifetime. Inside the tiny light, each was a purpose unto itself. Nothing existed outside the certainty that whatever the light promised would only come to be if she breathed in one more time. Counted by breaths rather than minutes or hours, days or weeks, time passed, or did not pass, without meaning. Then the universe exploded in a cacophony of glaring light, thunderous sound, and an agony so keen that it drowned out the gentle voice of the light. Each gasping breath ended with a scream that was sucked down into the void. Monsters tore at her, each moment worse than the one before until the pain mocked the thin thread of hope that tied her to the light, threatening to snap it. “An end to the pain,” the darkness swore. “Just let go, let it all go.” “Love if you endure,” the light cajoled. “Life if you endure.”
* * * * * “Dear Goddess.” “You find something?” “Yeah, found another body.” An asari in coveralls picked up a chunk of rubble and tossed it into the back of the shuttle. “Are we ever going to stop finding them?” The other worker, a human dressed in identical coveralls and helmet shook his head and picked his way over to help. “Not for months, I'd guess. Unless the keepers find them all and melt them down in those vats first. They've been going gangbusters since they reappeared.” He touched her arm, stopping her from lifting a large chunk alone. “Mel, let me help. Hate to have you pull something an hour into our shift. I'd be stuck doing this alone.” She chuckled. “You are all heart, Paul. All heart.” He clapped her on the shoulder. “That's me.” He crouched and grabbed the other end of a beam, helping wrestle it into the bin. “Come on, let's get this poor soul laid to rest.” Mel sighed and nodded. The pair dug around the body, clearing away the hundreds of kilos of building materials that buried all but the person's head and upper chest. “Is it just me, or is it getting easier to breathe up here the last couple of days?” Mel asked, lifting her breather mask to wipe the sweat from her face. She took a couple of breaths. “It has to be, I can breathe just fine unless I'm working.” “It is. I guess the Keepers are repairing the life support equipment.” He tossed a chunk of cement into the bin. “I was surprised there was any air here at all after the Crucible fired, but its a damned good thing for the few survivors we've found.” “Dear goddess.” The asari reached over and grabbed Paul's arm. “Come on, Mel. What is it now?” “It moved.” “What? No way, not after being buried under all this crap for two weeks. You're just spooked, and I don't blame you. This place is creepy as all hell.” “No! Paul, seriously, look. This person is breathing.” Mel knelt in the rubble, working faster, but also more carefully. “Oh my god, you're right.” The pair worked frantically, until Paul gently brushed away the thick layer of small debris coating the body, his action dislodging a set of dog tags. “Hey, Mel, its an Alliance soldier.” He flipped them over, looked at them for a moment, then dropped them like they were hot coals and fell backward. “Paul?” “Oh my god, Mel.” He looked up, meeting the asari's confused gaze with one of awe. “It's Commander Shepard!” Mel grasped the tags, read them, then stood, turning toward the rest of their crew, and yelled at the top of her lungs. “Medics! We need medics over here!” A shuttle flew over, hovering twenty feet away. Mel leaned over the survivor's head, sheltering her from the worse of the dust and small debris the thrusters kicked up. Alliance personnel jumped out and hurried to the woman's side. A medic ran his omnitool over her. “Second and third degree burns to 58% of her body, multiple fractures, internal bleeding, advanced necrosis of the tissue in her extremities. We need to get her in stasis immediately, and keep her immobile until we can get her to the hospital.” “Internal bleeding?” Mel stepped back to allow the medic room to work. “How could she have survived this long?” “Pressure of the debris no doubt. She didn't start bleeding until you removed it.” He gave her a tight-lipped smile. “You did good work. We'll take it from here.” The two stood back, watching until the survivor was loaded onto the shuttle and took off. “Come on, Mel,” Paul said, putting an arm around her waist. “Let's get back to work.” “Want to go by the hospital after the shift?” She asked, tossing a handful of wiring into the bin. “Sure. Doubt they'll let us in, but we can always try.” At the end of their shift, the two workers caught a shuttle to the hospital. “What can I do for you?” An Alliance soldier asked them at the entrance to the ICU. “I... um... we're the clean up workers who found the survivor with Commander Shepard's tags,” Paul said. “We just wanted to know how she was doing.” The soldier grinned and clapped them both on the shoulder. “You two have given us the first good news since...” He shook his head. “... God knows when.” He nodded toward the door. “Come on, I'll take you in.” The soldier led them through several check points, and up to an older man in an Alliance uniform. “That's Admiral Hackett,” Paul whispered in Mel's ear. “And that's the Council he's talking to. By the Goddess Paul, we're so...” Mel stopped and just shrugged. “Filthy?” he offered and chuckled. She elbowed him. “Amongst other things.” The soldier waited for a break in the conversation then cleared his throat to get the admiral's attention. “Yes?” Hackett turned around, his gaze sliding over Mel and Paul with polite interest. “Admiral. I thought you would want to meet these two people. They are the team who found Commander Shepard.” The admiral smiled and stepped forward. “Admiral Stephen Hackett. It's a pleasure to meet you. We're in your debt.” “Mellena D'Rani,” Mel said, shaking his offered hand. “Paul Meeton, Admiral. It's an honour to meet you.” “How is she, Admiral?” Mel asked. “The way the medic was talking, it didn't sound good.” “We haven't had word yet. You're welcome to wait with us, if you like.” “Thank you, Sir.” Mel looked down at herself and chuckled. “Maybe we should get cleaned up a little.” Hackett gave them a warm smile. “Of course.” He gestured behind them to point out the washrooms and turned back to his discussion with the Council. After they washed, Mel and Paul sat in the waiting room, well out of the way of the growing number of important people gathering to see if the rumours were true. “How do you suppose the Council survived?” Paul asked, leaning over to whisper in Mel's ear. She shrugged. “I have no clue. A... what is it your people say? A bargain with the devil?” Paul chuckled. “I wouldn't be surprised. It's a sad frickin' joke that Cmdr. Shepard's in there fighting for her life, when the people who refused to believe her until the Reapers landed on their asses stand here without a scratch.” An exhausted looking surgeon pushed through a swinging door into the waiting room, politely weaving through the throng that closed around him, all asking questions at once. He made his way through to Hackett, drawing the admiral aside with a hand on his elbow. “So, Bill,” Hackett asked, “is it Shepard?” The surgeon nodded. “DNA scans confirmed that it is Jane Shepard.” He held up a hand to forestall Hackett's reply. “She's in very critical condition, Steven. The rubble pressing down on her kept her from bleeding out, but it also kept blood from reaching her extremities. We went in and repaired her major organs, but if and when we get her stabilized, we'll have to amputate both of her legs to mid thigh and her left arm to the elbow.” Paul saw Hackett stumble a bit under the weight of that news. “Right now, she's in a profound coma, registering minimal brain activity. Even if we do get her through this, she may never regain consciousness.” Paul looked over at Mel and shook his head. “She needs to get every chance, Bill,” the admiral said. “We don't give up on her, ever. Is that clear? I just finished telling her crew that she's dead. I want to eat those words.” The surgeon gave him a grim smile and nodded. “We'll do everything in our power, and who knows, maybe all that Cerberus tech will help us out. It's certainly the only reason I can see for her still being alive.” He clapped the admiral on the shoulder. “I'll keep you informed.” “Thanks Bill.” Hackett looked over at Paul and Mel, gave them a wink and a nod of his head, then moved on to inform the others as to Shepard's condition. “Well, let's get back to the barracks, get some chow and sleep.” Paul offered Mel his hand, holding hers even after she stood. “Yeah, we can come by tomorrow after our shift, see if anything has changed.” She wrapped an arm around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. “I'm exhausted.” “Been a hell of a day, though, huh?” She smiled. “Yeah, it sure has.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 16, 2013 4:33:09 GMT 1
III “I didn't appreciate the relays nearly enough,” Joker sighed. “This sucks.” “Complaining won't make it suck any less,” Tali offered from the other seat. “I found the remains of another fuel depot. Entering the coordinates.” “Should have taken us a few hours to get home, but noooooo, the relays all had to get blown to bits. Might as well install cryo units like in the old pre-FTL days and put us all in the frozen food section while we limp our way from star to star.” Tali shrugged. “Well, at least Javik would feel at home.” Joker grinned then glanced over his shoulder at Garrus. “You going as stir crazy as the rest of us?” The turian nodded. “I'm just glad Tali keeps finding refuelling stations, so I can get out and stretch my legs.” “Can shuffling through debris in mag boots really be called stretching your legs?” Garrus chuckled. “I'll take what I can get.” “Thank god we have the fastest ship in the galaxy. Another couple of days we'll be to Beckenstein. Then its just a hop, skip, and a few weeks to Earth.” Joker sighed. “It's no use, I still miss the relays.” They spent a week on Beckenstein. The planet had been bombarded from space, but like everywhere else, life had found a way. Even before the war ended, they set up tent cities outside the ruins, salvaging everything they could in order to build solid shelters and create a means of feeding themselves. Garrus threw himself into preparing the Normandy for the last leg of the journey home and helping the people outside the capitol rebuild, working himself to exhaustion so that he collapsed onto his cot at night into blissful oblivion. Diana Allers remained behind, deciding that even the story of the century wasn't worth leaving her home again. As much as Garrus and the crew enjoyed the diversion, as soon as the Normandy was ready, they left within the hour, all of them feeling the inextricable pull to Earth. He knew it originated with him and tried to keep it under control. As certain as he was that Shepard awaited them there, Hackett had said nothing in their rare communications that substantiated his belief. The weeks passed slowly, not even poker, basketball and crate obstacle courses able to keep the monotony at bay. The crew began to dig into modifying the ship as much as they could with the parts on hand or that they were able to salvage along the way. None of them believed they would remain on earth long, and figured that they might as well get the jump on refitting her for long journeys. They scrounged supplies along the way, knowing as well, that when they did make it back to earth, it was an earth that was going to be in short supply on everything. James and Steve drafted crew as they needed them to turn the cargo bay into a storage area. In the end, it was the work that saved them, keeping cabin fever to a minimum. * * * * * “Hey, Garrus,” Joker called as the turian walked onto the bridge. “Thought you'd want to be here for the big moment.” Garrus laughed. “Wouldn't miss it. Going to be glad to put my feet on solid ground again.” Joker grinned and opened a channel. “Hey Tali... what's the hold up? We've got to be on sensors already.” “Hold onto your shorts,” the quarian replied. “I'm right here. Would have thought you could at least start without me.” Joker shrugged as she slipped into the copilot seat. “I didn't think you'd want to miss it, that's all. It's not like I've gotten used to you being there or anything.” Tali chuckled. “You can be such a bosh'tet. You know that, right?” He nodded. “Pride myself on it.” Garrus watched them bicker, getting the feeling that over the months, Tali had started to occupy more than the copilot's seat. Joker took a deep breath. “Alliance control, this is the SSV Normandy requesting approach vector and landing instructions.” Despite the fact that Garrus knew that Earth was still there, still occupied, having spoken to Hackett the night before, he found himself inexplicably holding his breath. “SSV Normandy, this is Alliance control. Transmitting vector and landing instructions for Alliance Headquarters, London. Welcome home, Normandy. Exercise caution on approach, debris remains a hazard to navigation even in traffic lanes.” “Roger that, Alliance control. It's good to be home. Normandy out.” Garrus walked over to the port and leaned on the back of Tali's seat, watching as the Normandy flew through the solar system, Sol growing bigger and brighter ahead of them. Impatience made the trip seem longer than the previous times he'd been to the human homeworld. At last they left Mars behind them, closing in on the site of the biggest space battle in galactic history. The dark side of the planet loomed large in the forward port before they saw the first signs of battle. Ships flew amidst the debris, scavenging whatever could be used to repair the remnants of the fleet, loading what was beyond repair into huge garbage scows for return to earth and recycling. Reaper corpses hung like dead nightmares. They passed one being towed away from the planet. “Guess their not taking any chances recycling the Reaper tech,” Joker said. “Looks like they're just going to drop them into Jupiter's atmosphere.” Garrus nodded, but it was Tali who replied. “I don't blame them. I'd be afraid of my toaster if I knew part of it was recycled Reaper.” The two men chuckled, but Garrus knew exactly what she meant. “That could be a whole new line of defence for criminals,” Joker teased. His voice deepened. 'Why'd you do it, Mr Smith?'” He changed his voice again. “My toaster indoctrinated me, Your Honour.” At last the Citadel came into view. Ships moved about it like bees around a ruined hive. Seeing its shattered bulk hanging there like a skeletal hand, Garrus began to doubt his conviction. How could anyone have survived that? “Holy shit,” Joker whispered, his voice breaking a little. “Garrus, I'm all for believing in your gut, but...” “No,” Tali said. “We don't give up until they show us proof. Admiral Hackett hasn't said anything about finding her body.” Garrus straightened and laid his hand on Tali's shoulder for a moment, needing to hear someone else express some hope right then. Earth looked almost paradisaical from a couple hundred thousand miles away. Most of the fires had burned themselves out, and the thick layer of dust and smoke had begun to disperse. Hints of blue and even green began to appear through the clouds as they circled around from night to day. It wasn't until they got closer that the destruction showed in harsh relief. As they followed their landing vector, the Alliance base appeared, a single rubble free zone on the Thames. All but one of the buildings still looked like broken teeth, jagged chunks missing, windows covered in plastic and boards. Scaffolding had been erected around most of the buildings on the base, workers climbing over the maze of boards and metal like ants busy repairing a nest kicked over by a massive boot. As the Normandy circled over the base, settling into dock, work stopped, all eyes turning to watch Shepard's ship return home. Some cheered and clapped, making Garrus scowl. “Well, that just seems wrong,” Joker said softly, absent his usual sarcasm. “Yeah,” Garrus agreed. Shepard was the hero. All the Normandy had done was flee the Citadel's destruction, leaving its Captain behind. But then again, perhaps the symbol was important. The Normandy had defied the odds and won, as had Shepard... as had they all. The Normandy settled to the ground, but it was a few moments before anyone moved. It didn't seem real. In fact, nothing after the Normandy had arrived at Earth, leading the galactic fleet, seemed real right then. Only the destruction outside the ports bore witness to the fact that months before, they'd fought their way across the city through Reaper forces, determined to make sure that all civilization would prevail. “SSV Normandy, Alliance Control,” the voice on the radio called out. “Welcome home, Normandy. Admiral Hackett asked that you gather your crew for debriefing. He's on his way.” “Roger that, Alliance control. It's good to be home.” Garrus turned to leave. “Gather everyone in the mess, Joker. Twenty minutes.” “Yes Sir.” Garrus made his way down to the cargo bay. “Open her up, Lt. Cortez,” he ordered. Steve smiled. “Yes Sir.” Garrus walked to the ramp, taking a deep breath of the cool, damp air. The stench of death, destruction and decay that hung over the city like a pall the last time had faded to an undertone. Rain misted down from a steel grey, sullen sky. He'd never been someone who liked cold or damp, but at that moment, both seemed precious. They'd made it back. Alive or dead, Shepard was here somewhere. He'd crossed the endless miles between them, something that made him both excited and terrified. He walked down the ramp to greet the admiral as Hackett exited the closest building, the only one that appeared completely repaired. Hackett gave him a broad smile and reached out his hand, shaking Garrus's with enthusiasm. “Welcome back, Vakarian. It's damned good to see you.” He looked up at the Normandy like a long missed friend. “Thank you, Admiral. The crew is assembling in the mess for your debriefing.” He moved to climb aboard, but turned back when Hackett didn't follow him. “Admiral?” “I was hoping to get a chance to speak with you before meeting with the crew.” The admiral let out a huff of air. “I didn't know if I should say anything during your trip back... You and Shepard, you were together?” “Yes, we were.” Garrus stepped back down the ramp. “What is it, Admiral? Have you found her?” Hackett nodded. “Search and rescue crews found her in the rubble the same day you got your QEC up.” He held up a hand to still Garrus's questions. “She was alive... is alive, but gravely wounded. Over the months, most of her physical damage has healed, but she remains in a profound coma. The doctors have little hope that she will regain consciousness.” Garrus took a moment to process what Hackett had said, forcing himself to remain where he was instead of grabbing the admiral and demanding the other man take him to Shepard immediately. “A coma?” “Yes. At first, the trauma was so extensive that the surgeons believed they would have to amputate her legs and one arm, but all the tech Cerberus grafted into her took over and repaired the damage. So far, she's shown no indicators that she's regaining consciousness. It seemed a miracle, finding her alive in all that destruction after two weeks, but it's a tempered one. I'm sorry.” Garrus took a deep breath and nodded. “She's alive, Admiral. One miracle at a time.” Hackett nodded. “Permission to come aboard?” “Granted.” Garrus led the way on board, but then waved Steve over. “Could you show Admiral Hackett up to the mess? I'll be right behind you.” As soon as they got onto the elevator, he opened a channel to Dr. Chakwas. “Doctor?” “I was just contacted by a colleague of mine at the Alliance hospital, Garrus. I'm on my way to see her now. I'll let you know what's going on as soon as I find out.” He wanted to tell her that he was going with her, but he just nodded. “Thank you, doctor.” “If there's a way to get her back, we'll find it,” Dr. Chakwas assured him. He hesitated another moment, the open ramp calling to him, but in the end, duty to the crew raised his hand to the elevator controls, and he headed up to Hackett's debriefing. The admiral brought the crew up to speed on the state of the galaxy since the Reapers had been defeated. He told them about Shepard, the crew greeting the news with subdued optimism. They all knew that Shepard had come back from worse. “I understand that you've all just spent a lot longer trapped on a ship than is comfortable for anyone,” the admiral said as he concluded. “You'll be planet side for a while, but the Normandy is the fastest ship in the galaxy. We have to get her outfitted to be our first responder. We'll get you back out there better equipped for long periods aboard.” “You said the Keepers are repairing the Citadel?” Kaidan asked. “Do we know if they are working on the relays as well?” Hackett nodded. “We have a heavy construction crew working on the relay, mostly towing as many of the salvageable components back into place as they can find. They report that Keepers have appeared within what portions of the relay are intact, but we don't have any traction on what they're doing. Our best guess is that we have a couple of years travelling at FTL ahead of us.” “On Earth, the Alliance has been pressed into duty as planetary government until which time we are organized enough to hold elections. A few things are more pressing at this time, food, shelter, global communications at the top of a long list. We've been refitting ships as quickly as we can scavenge parts then sent them out to patrol the routes between Earth and our few remaining colonies, as well as to hunt out supplies. We finally have crops growing in the some of the southern climates, but we're heading into a long, hard winter here in the north.' 'We'd be in a lot worse shape if the Quarians hadn't stayed behind as long as they did. They helped us put together hydroponic greenhouses and recycling facilities that are starting to ease the pressure. Their expertise in living with limited resources has resulted in a lot of lives saved.” “When did they leave for Rannoch?” Tali asked. “Three weeks ago. They're escorting a small fleet of Asari refugees to Thessia before heading to Rannoch. None of the refugee vessels had armaments.” Tali straightened a little in her seat, and Garrus smiled. Tali had always been proud of her people, despite their reputation as galactic vagrants. The quarian involvement in defending Palaven, bringing down the Reapers, and now assisting the devastated fleets and homeworlds in their recovery was going to force the rest of the galaxy see their worth as well. Hackett waited for any more questions, then stood. “I'll have the heads of the different departments contact you within the next 24 hours to discuss what you're going to need for the refits. Welcome back, all of you. Take a short vacation, you've earned it, and the galaxy is going to be asking a great deal of you in the months to come.” He looked over at Garrus and nodded. Garrus stepped to the head of his people. “I'll have a leave roster by the end of the day. Dismissed.” Liara, Joker, Kaidan and Tali joined him. “You'll be wanting to see the commander,” Hackett said. He led the way to the elevator and then off the ship. “How much of the base have you rebuilt?” Kaidan asked. “The main building here at the docks—we're using it as our headquarters—the hospital and two dormitories for staff and workers. Two more apartment buildings on the perimeter are nearly complete. Most of the Alliance personnel are still living in tents set up in a park just down the street so that civilians could move into the more secure housing.” The admiral led the way into the hospital. Garrus managed to keep his impatience in check despite the fact that with everyone between the Normandy and Shepard's hospital room recognizing them, the short walk took much longer than he would have liked. Everyone wanted to speak to them, shake their hands, offer condolences and gratitude. Hackett managed to keep them moving, however, until they entered a small waiting room. A human and an asari sat talking quietly in a corner, but otherwise, the room was blessedly clear. “Mel! Paul!” Hackett called, walking toward the pair with his hand outstretched. “Good to see you. How are things going?” The human man and the asari smiled and got up to greet the admiral. “The doctors just kicked us out for their hourly checks,” the asari said. “Otherwise, everything's the same.” She held up a book. “We started a new novel today. I think its some sort of elcor romance. Hard to tell, the shape its in.” Hackett turned to Garrus and the others. “Garrus Vakarian, Liara T'Soni, Major Alenko, Flight Lt. Moreau, Tali'Zorah, this is Mellena and Paul. They're the two workers who found Commander Shepard on the Citadel. They come by every day to read to her. Mel and Paul, this is Commander Shepard's crew.” Garrus stepped forward, his hand held out to shake theirs. “Thank you both for looking after her while we were unable to.” The asari blushed a darker blue. “We figured it was the least we could do after everything she did for us.” “It's an honour to meet you,” the man said. Liara greeted the two workers, then looked to Hackett and touched Garrus's arm. “Let's go in.” Garrus nodded, his heart thumping inside his chest. After the weeks of mourning and then uncertainty, of hoping and even praying for her to be alive, he was terrified to face reality and it's consequences. “Don't worry,” Mel said, as if she could sense his trepidation. “It just looks like she's sleeping. The docs say her implants healed her right up.” “Vakarian, if you and Dr. T'Soni could follow me. The rest can wait here until you're done.” Hackett led them through another security point and into a small, dimly lit room. Inside the door, Garrus stopped so short that Liara ran into him. There she was, laying amidst a tangle of cables and tubes, partially inclined, covered to her neck in blankets. Mel had been right. She looked as though she was going to open her eyes, yawn and give him the sleepy smile that had greeted him each morning. He swallowed hard. “She looks so small.” Liara stepped around him and laid her hand on his arm. “It's easy to forget that she's not eight feet tall and made of unobtanium. She's always so much larger than life.” She patted his arm. “Go on, this is what you've been hoping for.” He sighed and crossed to the bed, his heart pounding, believing that any second, he would wake up to discover himself back in the forward battery. “No one believes she's going to wake up.” He took Shepard's hand between his. It was warm and soft, the small, delicate fingers and palm calloused, just as he remembered. He rubbed it gently as he bent to press it against his face, inhaling the scent of her. He let out a long breath. Even under the reek of hospital, it was her. “To come this far ...” He shook his head and looked up at Liara. “Well, none of the doubters have an asari who has melded with Shepard multiple times, either.” She laid her hand on Shepard's brow and closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were the fathomless black that always terrified him a little. “I can still feel her, but her grasp is tenuous.” She closed her eyes again and bowed her head, almost as if she was praying. He touched Shepard's cheek, running the back of a talon along her jaw line. He stared at her, afraid even to blink in case it shattered the delusion. “She made me go on a first date,” Garrus said softly. “If you count her time in lock up, we'd been together the better part of a year, but she insisted that we at least pretend to be normal people, meeting the way normal people do.” “The longer the fight dragged on, the more she just wanted to be rid of Commander Shepard. No galaxy counting on her—half of it calling her insane or a criminal, the other half propping her up on a hero's pedestal. She couldn't go anywhere without almost everyone knowing who she was and either fawning over her or trying to kill her. She just wanted to be Jane Shepard, Alliance Navy. Maybe we can manage that now.” Garrus held her hand between both of his. Liara nodded. “There was one other thing she wanted to be.” She opened her eyes, that black gaze staring past him into space. After a moment, she shook her head. “Damn.” “What?” “I reached her, but she retreated from me. She didn't know me.” The asari sighed, her brow furrowing. “The trauma of what happened must have damaged her memory.” She grumbled under her breath for a moment as if both perplexed and annoyed. “I think she died and was restarted. Her body is here, but her spirit is still on the other side of the veil. She needs to be brought back through, but if she flees from me...” Garrus laid his hand over hers. “You can do it, T'Soni.” Liara gasped and smiled. “Oh!” She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again, they had returned to their usual blue. She slipped her hand out from under his. “What happened?” “As soon as you touched me, she stopped moving away.” The asari sagged a little, leaning against the bed. “She recognized you. We can use that, if you're willing.” He nodded. “Of course. Whatever you need.” “Give me a couple of hours to rest and center myself. It's going to be a long, draining process for us both, but I'll act as a bridge for you to reach across and bring her back.” She took a deep breath, laid a hand on Shepard's shoulder, then bent to kiss the commander's cheek. When she straightened, she smiled. “I think we have a good chance, Garrus. She's lost and confused, but her reaction when you touched me was definite.” “What do you need from me?” “Try to center and focus yourself as much as you can, and rest for a couple of hours. It's no small thing to reach so far. It'll take a lot out of you. Other than that, just meet me back here in three hours.” The asari stepped back from the bed. “We should give the others a chance to see her.” Garrus nodded, but didn't move. “Go ahead. I'll be out in a few minutes.” She smiled, blushing a little. “Of course. Take your time. I'll see you in a few hours.” Garrus watched her leave, then pulled a chair over next to the bed and sat. He took off his gloves and took her hand in his again. “Hey Shepard. I'm going to be too relieved to say any of this once you're awake, so...” He reached up to stroke her hair. “You ever leave me behind like that again, I'll kick your ass. I don't care if you have to use every ounce of medigel you've got on you, and I still have to crawl after you.” He lifted her hand, pressing it against his cheek, savouring the warmth and softness of her skin against his. “There's something worse than dying at your side, and I've done it twice. Never again.” “I've seen the Citadel, Shepard, and I don't know how you survived that. Hackett seems to think it's all that Cerberus tech, but I think it's got more to do with being too stubborn to die.” He sighed. “Maybe you just needed to keep your word. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You didn't leave me behind for good, and now Liara will get you back. She has to. It's the only thing that makes sense.” He tucked her hand back under the blankets. “I'll be back in a little while. Some of the others want a chance to tell you off while you can't answer back.” He stood and leaned down, brushing his lips over hers. “I love you, Shepard, but I mean it... I'll kick your ass.” He turned and left the room. Kaidan met him outside Shepard's door. “So... um... Liara says there's a good chance of waking Shepard up.” Garrus nodded and moved to step past him. “Hey, ahhh... Garrus?” He stopped and turned back. “I never really understood about you and Shepard. Didn't want to, I guess. Seeing why she was with you would have shown me why she moved on from me.” Garrus frowned at Kaidan, not sure what he was trying to say. “I just wanted to say that I get it. She was right. You've been there for her every minute. She only ever asked me for one thing. I'm not sure why I could never give it to her. Too much of a coward, I guess. Too busy making demands of her rather than stepping up and being what she needed. I'm just glad that you're a better man than I managed to be.” The Major took a deep breath and nodded, then turned and walked into the room. Garrus turned and headed out of the hospital, surprised by Kaidan's turnabout. Even though they managed to be cordial and work together well enough, there'd been an understandable tension between them when Kaidan returned to the Normandy. Garrus had spent his days and nights at Shepard's side, never quite believing or understanding that she'd chosen him. At least until that day on the Presidium when she'd told him that she loved him for the first time. He'd been so surprised by her admission that he'd completely neglected to say it back. Good thing she'd always been able to read him so well, because sometimes he could be a complete idiot. When he stepped out of the hospital, the sun had broken through the clouds and the rain had stopped. The grounds shone wet and relatively clean. He took a deep breath. Even a couple of weeks without fresh air renewed his appreciation for things as simple as weather. He looked over toward the Normandy, a couple hundred meters across the docks, but turned away from her when he spotted the crowd of onlookers. Alliance personnel had begun moving in wire and barricades to keep them back. Garrus headed off in the direction of fewest people and buildings, not feeling like trying to wade through the crowd, eventually finding himself on the bank of the river. He found a spot away from the public eye and sat, staring down at the light reflecting off the black, cold-looking water. He let his mind wander, and it came to settle on his family. He'd found part of it, but his father and sister remained lost. They'd made it off Palaven, their evacuation convoy headed for the Citadel, but as far as he knew, it hadn't arrived before the Citadel was moved. He hoped it hadn't. At least then, there was some hope that they were out there, limping their way back to Palaven. He hoped he got a chance to make things right with his father. Going to him about the Reapers had been an important first olive branch, and the respect his dad showed him had given him hope that they had a chance to leave all the old resentments and anger behind. Garrus sighed. He'd never deserved his father's respect before. He'd demanded it, but never earned it. Shepard had changed that. She'd changed him. It rankled that his dad had been right all those years, but if it hadn't been for Shepard, he would have self-destructed just as his father had always told him he would. Instead, Shepard had saved his life. She'd been the first thing in his life that he didn't fight, probably because she didn't just talk at him. Rather than telling him something was important, she showed him the difference it made. If he lived to be a thousand years old, he would never forget the feeling that went through him when Shepard actually reached Saren, breaking through the indoctrination with her compassion, convincing him to redeem himself the only way he could. Garrus had never felt awe as he had in that moment. When the Normandy was destroyed and Shepard was lost, he tried to hold the course, but gradually he'd begun to slip back. When Sidonis betrayed his people, he'd welcomed the old anger, embraced it. Murdering Sidonis would have ended his own life as well—at least the life he always wanted—but then Shepard reappeared to pull him back once again. A flock of large birds swooped down, raising a terrible racket as they settled onto the river a few meters in front of him. They swam downriver for a moment, but then a shuttle flew over them, its thrusters tilted toward the ground as it adjusted its descent, and they took off, squawking their indignation. Garrus watched them until they disappeared from sight, his eyes drawn back to the sluggish current of the river. He should get back. Liara needed him to be ready, not that he had the first clue what that meant. Instead, his mind drifted, following the strange, wonderful and sometimes incredibly awkward course of his relationship with Shepard. She'd shocked him when she proposed taking their friendship to more intimate ground. It had seemed crazy, but it had also made perfect sense. She'd become his home—the one place where he could be completely himself. She accepted him, warts and all, as the humans saying went. As terrifying as it had been to risk that much, he'd known that it was a risk he needed to take. Then she'd been taken from him again after the Alpha Relay incident, and he'd returned to Palaven to prepare his people. When he heard that the Reapers had hit Earth, he feared for her, and when they hit Palaven, he'd been certain that they would both die without ever seeing one another again. When she'd shown up on Menae, when she'd still wanted him, he knew he was living on borrowed fortune. The months they had spent together, living together as a couple, despite everything, had been the best of his life. There were a great many things in the galaxy that he was unsure of, and only one thing of which he was absolutely certain: he was meant to be with Shepard. He looked up, hearing approaching footsteps. “I still can't believe the Normandy made it back. Some of us are going to head over after shift to see if we can get a look at her,” a woman said, sounding far more excited that Garrus would have thought anyone could get over seeing a ship. “I think it's a sign,” a male replied. “Shepard's going to be fine. You wait and see, everything's going to be okay again.” Garrus nodded. The man was right. Shepard was going to be fine and the universe was going to swing back into its proper alignment. Before the battle on earth, she'd told him that she planned to retire from the Alliance military—to leave war and death behind to build a life with him. In London, she'd accepted his clumsy proposal that they be a family. That was worth fighting for. That possibility was worth everything. He stood and headed back to the Normandy. He needed to be ready when Liara called on him. When he reached the Normandy, it took a fair sized squad of Alliance soldiers to jockey him through the crowd. He greeted as many people as he could manage, but there were just so many. When the ramp closed behind him, he let out a sigh of relief that drew a chuckle from Cortez. “Nuts out there, isn't it?” “And it's going to get worse,” James said. “We just got here. Imagine once word really gets out.” “That's what the main gun is for,” Garrus grumbled. Steve laughed. “We'll just park the shuttle at the top of the ramp. A few kicks from the thrusters should clear a path.” He snapped his fingers. “Almost forgot. Dr. Chakwas said to let you know she was back.” “Thanks.” Garrus headed to the elevator and then the Med bay. “I knew you'd be by soon,” the doctor said as he entered. She turned her chair around to face him. “Unfortunately, I'm as much at a loss as the rest of her doctors. She laid up there for two weeks without food and water, minimal oxygen, only the weight of the rubble keeping her from bleeding out internally. The same lack of circulation that kept her from bleeding to death, also caused massive tissue necrosis. There's just no medical reason for our commander to be alive.” “Except for the Lazarus project.” He leaned against the counter across from Chakwas' desk. “Exactly. The implants are constantly healing and stimulating new cell growth. The surgeons wanted to amputate her legs when they found her, but by the time they'd gotten her through the more pressing surgeries to repair her organs, the tissue damage had started to reverse. Within a month, you'd never know anything had happened.” “Her brain function?” “It's functioning. Any damage has been repaired, but for now, Shepard is just an empty shell. I told Hackett and her surgical team that if they even considered implanting a VI, I'd remove every last implant in her body myself.” The doctor gave an uncharacteristic curse. “Bloody politicians, already trying to figure out ways to use her survival to their advantage, and don't doubt for a second that some of them are considering what VI driven Shepard spouting their propaganda would do for them.” Garrus cursed as well. “Is there no end?” He worried through it for a moment. “There was no real threat to any agendas until we got back. Damn.” “It wouldn't hurt to have some of our people keeping an eye on her,” Chakwas agreed. “Admiral Hackett assures me that he has his most trusted people in place, but it certainly couldn't hurt to have some of the Normandy's crew around her as well. Unfortunately, even with the celebrations still going strong, there are people manoeuvring to rebuild the galactic power structure around themselves.” Chakwas cursed again. “Liara told me what she has planned. Let's hope it works and none of this is anything we ever have to worry about.” Garrus straightened. “I can't believe that everything we've been through, after everything she did, we have to protect her from this crap.” “Garrus?” Joker's voice called in his ear. “What is it, Joker?” “There's someone asking permission to come aboard.” The pilot paused, his tone incredulous. “He says it's Commander Bailey.” “Bailey? How the...” Garrus stopped and shook his head. “Permission granted.” “No rest for the wicked,” the doctor teased. Garrus nodded. “Thank you, doctor. I'll get Kaidan over there right away to keep an eye on Shepard.” “Of course, Garrus.” Garrus hurried out the door and back to the shuttle bay to greet another miraculous survival. The ramp was already lowering as Garrus arrived. “I think I'll just leave it down,” Steve laughed. “The Normandy's like a transit station.” As the ramp touched ground, Garrus chuckled and shook his head. Sure enough, Armando Bailey stepped up, giving him a crooked smile. “Bailey, I can't believe it,” Garrus said, reaching out to shake the other man's hand. The rugged blonde officer chuckled. “Not so much a story of heroics and miracles as Shepard's good advice. It's good to see you again, Vakarian.” “And you.” Garrus nodded toward the elevator. “Come aboard. I can't wait to hear this.” He waved James over. “Show Commander Bailey up to Shepard's quarters.” He stepped onto the elevator with them. “I'll be up in a second. I have to send some security over to the hospital to keep an eye on Shepard.” Bailey grumbled. “Can't blame you there. Despite Hackett hovering over her like a junkyard dog, the buzzards have been circling since they found her.” Garrus nodded, not at all surprised that the veteran CSec officer had been keeping an eye on the situation. He stepped off on the crew deck and headed for Life Support. With the crew needing the observation room more and more the longer the trip back to Earth stretched out, Kaidan had moved into Thane's old haunt. “Come in.” Kaidan snapped to attention as Garrus walked in. “Sir.” “At ease, Major.” Garrus stepped over the threshold. “I need you to set up a guard rotation at the hospital. Make sure that either you, I, Liara or Tali is present at all times as well as two others. It's been brought to my attention that Shepard is a powerful political tool, especially if she never regains consciousness.” Kaidan paled. “Good god, you don't think they would...” Garrus shrugged. “Let's make sure they don't get the chance. If the hospital personnel give you any trouble, coordinate the detail with Admiral Hackett.” “Yes Sir.” A brief smile crossed his face. “It was good to see her again. We've lost her too many times.” Garrus nodded. “Yes we have. Let's keep her safe.” He clapped Kaidan on the shoulder, then turned and headed for the elevator, eager to hear how Bailey had survived the seizure and destruction of the Citadel. He found Bailey watching the fish. The commander turned to face him as he entered. “She has a hamster?” He chuckled. Garrus nodded, his mandibles fluttering in a smile. “Calls the crazy little thing Mordin, after a friend. She lets it run wild. I've almost stepped on it more times than I can count.” He led the way down to the couch. “Have a seat.” He grabbed the bottle and two glasses from Shepard's bottom desk drawer. “So, you and Shepard?” Bailey asked, looking around at the evidence of Garrus' presence in the quarters. Garrus chuckled. “Once a CSec investigator, always a CSec investigator.” Bailey gave a wry laugh. “Yeah, investigating everything becomes a habit. Probably why we have such a hard time staying married. Can't just let anything slip past.” Garrus poured them both a drink. “To answer your question, yes, Shepard and I have been together for about a year.” “ Good. She carries too much around not to have someone to lean on.” Bailey chuckled, turning a little red. “I admit, I developed a bit of a crush on her myself after she jumped down my throat over Elias Kelham. Although, I imagine that pretty much everyone who meets her has the same problem. She's a remarkable woman.” Garrus sat and leaned back, finally relaxing a little. “So, what happened after the Illusive Man told the Reapers about the Citadel being the catalyst?” Bailey took a large swig of his drink. “After the coup attempt, Shepard came by whenever the Normandy docked. We talked for hours, planning out different ways to evacuate or shelter as many people as we could if something like that happened again. As you know, she donated millions to helping build shelters, buy weapons and supplies.' Bailey took another drink. “Cerberus came aboard first, but they didn't catch us by surprise that time. We'd been running evacuation drills and had stocked all the refugee ships with supplies, so we were able to get most of them away from the Citadel before the Reapers moved in. Kids mostly, just enough adults to take care of them.” “That would still leave millions aboard the station.” Bailey nodded. “We built fortified bunkers in the guts of the station, and stocked them with all the shuttles and food and weapons we could spare. When the Reapers came aboard, almost everyone was already entrenched in defensible positions, and we'd left a lot of unpleasant surprises for them to find. Still, they were wearing us down. A million or so died in the fighting. The keepers worked nonstop dragging the bodies away.” “So, how did you survive?” “I was in the deepest and most secure shelter with the Council. When Shepard opened the arms, we loaded every body still drawing breath onto shuttles and launched them all for earth. A lot didn't make it. The Council and I did. Best we can figure, we saved maybe eight or nine hundred thousand. Doesn't feel like nearly enough.” “Still an amazing feat, Bailey. I wouldn't have thought anyone would have survived.” Garrus shook his head. “So, the Council?” “Alive and well on Earth. They must have sacks of horseshoes up their asses with how many times they've escaped certain death.” He shrugged. “They considered returning to their homeworlds with their fleets, but decided to stay with the Citadel. I think they're hoping the Keepers will get it and the relays up and running so they can move it back to Widow and pretend nothing ever happened.” “So the political crap just keeps rolling?” “Worse then ever. After taking such major roles in the war, the quarians and krogan are demanding representatives on the Council. Of course, the Volus and Elcor are kicking up a storm over that. Pretty much everyone seems to have decided that the council's time is done. Demands for a senate are growing louder and louder. With the Alliance backing a senate, I don't see how the council will be able to refuse. It's time to build things better.” “Has the Council been to see Shepard?” Garrus asked, knocking back his drink. “Yeah. They camped out there for the first week or so, until the docs said she was on the mend. Sparatus and Tevos go over a couple times a week. I drop by a few hours a day and talk to myself. I don't know if she can hear me, but if I was in her place—able to hear or not—I wouldn't just want to lie there alone. The pair who found her, Mel and Paul, are good sorts and spend a lot of time with her. They've pretty much adopted her.” Garrus chuckled. “I'm glad she's had people here for her.” “So, what happened to the Normandy after the battle?” The two men talked for another hour before Bailey headed out. Garrus remained in their quarters, taking time to go through his messages. Primarch Victus had sent one from the turian fleet, reporting their progress toward Palaven and offering Garrus a seat in the Hierarchy. The last part made him laugh. Shepard had warned him that after the war, his people would come to him. She'd encouraged him, and as much as he hated the idea of being a politician, she was right in saying that he and Victus might make a good team. During the war, Victus had relied heavily on Garrus's advice, a partnership that the primarch said that he hoped would continue as they began to rebuild their world. Garrus shook his head and leaned back, closing his eyes. It was a decision for another time. He needed to meet Liara back at the hospital within the hour, and he hadn't taken any time to prepare himself. Not that he had the first clue how to prepare or for what, but he got up and went down to the bed, lying on it for the first time since the night before the final battle with the Reapers. He laid on his side, his face on her pillow, breathing in the lingering traces of her scent. She always smelled of late spring in the highlands near where he'd grown up. He closed his eyes, relaxing for the first time in months. The next time he laid on this bed, Shepard would be back in his arms where she belonged.
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 16, 2013 23:25:15 GMT 1
IV “I know this place.” Shepard ran her fingers over the smooth bark of a tree. “This is the forest behind the house where I grew up.” She smiled, spotting a couple of benches and walked over to them. “These were just behind my school. We used to pile onto them at lunch break and smoke cigarettes until one of the teachers came by.” She sat down and caressed the seat worn satin smooth. “Why am I here?” “You are waiting.” She jumped, not having expected an answer, casting about for any sign of the speaker. “What do you mean waiting?” “Neither moving forward, nor returning from whence you came. Waiting.” “What for?” “To either let go and move on, or to discover a reason to return.” Shepard stood and wandered deeper into the trees. A light breeze made the undergrowth shiver and sway, but she felt nothing against her face. The smoky forms of people appeared and drifted along beside her, gathering into a rather eerie fellowship. Sometimes she heard people speaking to her, but their voices came through as whispers too far away to make out words. She was sure she knew some of the voices, instinctively taking comfort from the familiar sound, despite not making out what they said. Sometimes, they became clearer, telling stories as her mother had when she was a child. She drifted through the world of her childhood, a place both familiar and foreign for even though it looked like Mindoir, she knew it wasn't. This was no place in the physical galaxy. “Am I dead? Is that what this place is?” “You are not dead. This place lies in between.” “I've been here before.” “Yes.” “Who are you? Are you god?” “No. I am a fragment of a greater achievement made to suit the unique purpose of keeping you alive.” Shepard wandered through the wood, fingers brushing over smooth bark, reaching out to touch the shadows only to have them vanish. “Who are these shadows?” “Cherished memories, unresolved guilt, friendship and love.” Darkness closed in, the bushes and plants near the ground whipping about in a wind Shepard couldn't feel. The bare branches overhead rattled together like dry bones. “What's happening?” Shepard walked faster, her hear pounding. “What's going on?” The wind whipped up the dirt and leaves from the forest floor, whirling them around in a dust devil that stretched up above the trees. Shepard winced back away from it. “They're trying to get to you,” the voice replied. “No! They were gone. The monsters left.” Shepard turned and ran into the forest. Figures tracked her, just out of sight. Lightning flashed, white and then a deep blood red, illuminating pieces of her pursuers. The lightning revealed the twisted and smashed nightmares of metal and ruined humanoid forms in glimpses that passed so quickly she couldn't even be sure she'd seen them. No matter how fast she ran, the storm and the monsters it contained chased her, growing more violent and terrifying with each step. Winded, Shepard stopped, leaning up against a tree, struggling to regain her breath. The dust devil, now grown to a small tornado, undulated through the trees, sinuous and sinister as it followed her tracks. It stopped a meter away, dust and debris stinging as it whipped Shepard's face and arms. She covered her eyes and backed away. At the center of the tempest, a woman appeared. She wasn't a shadow like the others, but quite solid and blue. A word appeared in Shepard's mind. Asari. “Shepard!” The blue woman reached out toward her, but then a flash of the red lightning smashed into the tree, throwing Shepard to the ground. She scrambled backwards until she got her feet under her, then turned and bolted again. After a couple hundred feet, Shepard glanced back, but the woman had vanished. “Who was that?” She cried out. “What's happening?” “They are trying to reach you. Stop running. All of this is only memory and fear. It can't hurt you.” Shepard took off, running from tree to tree, trying to make it back to the bench. The voice knew nothing of the monsters that lurked within these trees. She couldn't remember why, but she knew that she had a great deal to fear. If they caught her, there would be nothing but pain forever. The whirlwind appeared again, the blue woman standing inside the funnel. She smiled, but didn't move toward Shepard. Forms began to appear in the trees around the woman, their forms broken and grisly. Two moved toward her faster than the others. A man and a woman. The man was bleeding, bent over, his gait a loose, terrible shamble. The woman was blackened, bits of shattered metal sticking through. “No.” Shepard backed away. She began to turn away but then someone else appeared next to the asari, outside the maelstrom that surrounded her. He was turian, his form almost transparent, ghostly but not like the shadows. Shepard cried out and ran two steps toward him. “Garrus!” Both Garrus and the asari vanished. A strange hush fell over the forest, the terrible spectres from the moment before disappearing into the darkness. “Wait! Where did he go?” She ran over to the spot where they'd stood. “Garrus?” “He found you. He will return.” Shepard nodded, recognizing the promise the light had made when she'd been trapped in the void. For that promise, she'd held on. She crouched at the base of a tree, waiting, hoping that he would reappear, but the darkness closed in, the monsters on the move again just out of sight, so she got up and headed back the way she'd come, hoping to find the bench. Surely, she could wait there in safety. “Why are you so afraid?” the voice asked. “The only monsters here are the ones in your mind.” Shepard nodded. “They're angry.” She ducked from cover to cover, trying to stay out of sight, but she knew they saw her nonetheless. “They're so angry.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 17, 2013 0:12:15 GMT 1
V Garrus nodded to James and Ensign Copeland as he passed them to enter Shepard's room.
Liara looked up from her seat next to the head of Shepard's bed and smiled. “You ready?” Garrus shrugged. “I don't know.” She nodded, then gestured to the chair next to her. “You don't have to do anything other than focus on Shepard. I'll try to create a stable connection. Just look into my eyes and open yourself up to her. It might help if you take her hand.” Garrus turned the chair so that he was facing Liara, and slipped his hand under the blankets to take Shepard's fingers in his. After a deep breath, he met the asari's gaze. She closed her eyes, breathing slow and deep for a few moments, then opened them, meeting his stare with one of fathomless black. Just when he began to wonder if anything was going to happen, he felt as if he were thrown into FTL. After a moment, he found himself standing in the dark, a million lights twinkling around him like stars. He looked beside him to Liara. She smiled. “Concentrate on Shepard. Feel her hand in yours, and allow yourself to follow that connection.” He squeezed Shepard's hand gently. It was warm and soft in his. He stroked the back of it with his thumb as he'd done a hundred times. It was holding those delicate fingers in his that grounded him, reminded him that despite the fact she was Commander Shepard, when she was with him, the guns put away, the armour hung up, she was a woman. She had fears and hopes and old scars that still ached sometimes, and despite being saviour of the galaxy, sometimes she needed to be saved. Some people might believe it made her weak, made her less a hero, but that hand in his reminded him of the truth. She was most strong those rare moments she admitted weakness. Her fingers moved in his and the darkness retreated, a vast, open forest appearing before him. “Garrus, they're out there. She brought them with her.” He looked around, unable to see Shepard. He was seated on a bench, the forest surrounding him on all sides. The tree branches and plants whipped back and forth in a gale that he couldn't feel. Liara stood off to his left, barely visible, no doubt trying to evade Shepard's notice. The sky above the naked branches roiled with dark clouds against a night sky. He winced a little as lighting flashed around them, sometimes blue-white, making the air smell of ozone, sometimes crimson and accompanied by the unmistakable sound of a Reaper laser. The hand in his moved again. “Can you see them?” Shepard asked. “I can't, but I can feel them moving out there, just out of sight.” She appeared at his side, a pale apparition. “It stopped for a while, when you and she disappeared, but now they're back.” “Shepard? Who's out there?” As he spoke her name, she solidified and looked up into his eyes. She stood, and tugged on his hand. “Come on, we need to keep moving. They know we're here.” Her head jerked around to look at Liara, her eyes wide with terror. “She brought them. She knows.” He resisted, pulling her toward him and taking her other hand. “Shepard, you're in a coma.” He let go of her hand to touch her face. “Liara brought me to you. I've come to take you back.” She nodded. “The light told me you would find me, but come on. If we stay here, they'll find us.” “You're asleep, Shepard. This is all a dream.” He let her pull him up onto his feet. “You need to wake up.” She pulled at him. “Come on, quickly. We can talk all you want once we find somewhere defensible.” She headed out into the trees, running crouched over, moving from cover to cover. “No, Shepard, stop running.” He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight, and leaned down next to her ear. “None of this is real, Shepard. Feel me, I'm real.” He nuzzled her temple. “You've got to come back with me.” Shepard twisted out of his arms, spun around and pointed. Garrus looked where she pointed but saw only Liara. He started to turn back to Shepard, but then something moved in the trees just outside of the maelstrom around Liara. A man in a torn and bloody uniform limped toward them. Garrus squinted, taking a couple of steps toward the man. “Shepard, who is that? It looks like...” Shepard grabbed his hand and dragged him after her. She stopped suddenly, her eyes scanning the trees ahead of them. “There, on the other side of those trees, there's a creek.” Scowling, she shifted from foot to foot, her eyes darting as if expecting attack from everywhere. She glanced back. “If we make it across the creek, we should be fine.” Garrus glanced behind them, looking for Liara. “What do I do?” he asked. “She doesn't understand.” He squinted through the flying dust and debris. Another form appeared next to the shuffling man. It was a woman, burned unrecognisable, but for metal protrusions that glinted in the lightning. “Can you see the people behind you? Who is it?” The asari shook her head, looking sad. “I can't make them out either. I know where we are, but...” Shepard heard Liara because she jumped up, spun around, then grabbed the yoke of his armour and dragged him up. Releasing him, she signalled for him to go right ten meters then move forward again. “Where are we, then?” “Sh! Garrus! They'll hear you,” Shepard whispered. “Mindoir. I uncovered some footage from the batarian raid there.” Liara dropped back as her voice spooked Shepard even further. “Who is that?” Shepard whispered. “Why's she following us?” She cast around, searching the forest floor as if looking for a weapon. “She brought them here, and they won't stop until the get me.” “It's Liara, Shepard. She helped me find you. Who are you running from?” When she moved to leave cover, he grabbed her and pulled her back. “What are you running from? Stop for a second. This isn't you; you don't run.” She stared at him like he'd gone mad. “Can't you feel them out there? They're everywhere, Garrus. I did this to them, and now they've come for me.” “Shepard, there's nothing out there. You're asleep.” He pulled her into his arms again. “You trust me, don't you?” She nodded, but her eyes never stopped scanning the trees. “With my life.” He kissed her. “Then trust this, and come back to me,” he whispered against her lips. She stopped struggling and returned his kiss. Her arms began to slip around him, but then she pulled back. “But... I did this to them, Garrus.” He sighed. “You're not making any sense, Shepard.” He reached up and brushed her hair from her face. “Do you remember telling me that you'd never leave me alone?” Shepard frowned. “But then...” She touched his face, her eyes finally focusing on his, her brow furrowed with confusion. “You've got to get out of here.” Nodding, she ran her fingers along his cheek and down over his lip. “You've got to be kidding me.” Garrus looked to Liara again, but the asari just motioned for him to go with it. “No matter what happens here today, you know that I'll always love you.” He nodded, understanding. “Yes, those are the last things we said to one another.” “You told me you loved me and then... fire and pain.” She pulled away, looking around again. “I was in nothing, surrounded and consumed by nothing. Then I came here, because they're waiting for me.” “I'm waiting for you, Shepard, out there in the world.” He pulled her in and kissed her, unwilling to lose the ground he'd gained. Shepard smiled. “Yes, the light appeared and said that you would find me if I breathed in. I did, and it burned like white hot metal.” “And now I've found you. Come back with me, and all this ... whatever you believe is out there ... will disappear,” he reassured her. “All you need to do is let me take you back.” She nodded, clinging to him as the storm closed in around them, swallowing them. “Garrus, I'm scared.” “It's okay. I've got you.” The storm faded around them, turning to the peaceful, twinkling star field. On the horizon, a light bloomed, growing brighter, sweeping toward them like the rising sun, and then he was sitting in his chair, Liara across from him, her eyes closed. He sagged into his chair for a moment, but then Shepard's hand moved in his, squeezing his fingers. He sat up to find her looking at him. “Hey,” he said softly. “Welcome back.” Shepard looked around her and tried to sit up, but the leads and tubes that had been keeping her alive hindered her. He stood and helped her get untangled, then raised the head of the bed a little more. “How's that?” She nodded, gagging a little as her mouth worked around the tube down her throat. Liara fished a shard of ice from the water jug on the side table and leaned close, giving Shepard a warm smile. “Is it okay if I rub this on your lips?” the asari asked. “It will help with the dryness.” When Shepard nodded, she gently stroked the ice over the commander's lips. Garrus pressed the control for the nurse. A middle aged woman hurried into the room. Everything about her from her screwed back hair style to her no nonsense expression and stark white uniform screamed that she was a busy woman who didn't have time to hand hold people visiting hopeless coma patients. She opened her mouth, but when she saw that Shepard was awake, she stopped so short that her shoes squeaked on the floor. “My goodness, look at you.” She hurried over, checking Shepard and the readouts from the equipment attached to her. “How are you feeling?” “She just woke up from a four month coma with a feeding tube down her throat,” Liara grumbled, “How do you think she's feeling?” “I'll page her doctors.” She gave Shepard a tight-lipped smile. “Everyone is going to be eager to see you. I'll be right back.” Shepard gripped Garrus's hand, her eyes casting around her, wide and afraid. He could see her chest rising fast and shallow, and stroked her hand. “It's okay, Shepard. You've been asleep for a long time. Just stay calm. I've got you.” He bent down and touched his brow to hers, then sat at her side again. He looked up at Liara. “Maybe you should call Dr. Chakwas, just in case they forget.” Shepard's hand clutched at his, pulling it closer to her. She stared into his eyes as if he were the only thing in the galaxy that made sense. He reached up, stroking her hair, the rhythm of it seeming to soothe her as her breathing slowed, and her grip on him loosened a little. “It's been a long trip back here to find you. The gang's all here though. Joker, Tali and Kaidan were here earlier.” He pulled his chair closer to the bed so that he could slump down into it. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, he could barely seem to hold himself upright. “Crashing?” Liara asked softly. He nodded. “How long were we in there... out there... whatever?” “Four hours.” She nodded and stifled a yawn. “I'm going to need to head back to the Normandy soon and rest. You should as well.” “I'll rest here. I'm not leaving her.” He shook his head. “I don't know how you did it, but you pulled off the miracle. Thank you for this, Liara.” His mandibles fluttered and he cleared his throat. “No thanks necessary, Garrus. You did all the work. I'm just glad we have her back.” Liara reached out to touch Shepard's shoulder, but the commander winced away from the contact. “She didn't recognize you inside the coma,” Garrus said. “She didn't seem to remember much of anything.” “Well, she remembers you. That's a start.” Liara moved back to her chair, sinking into it with a heavy sigh. “Matriarch Dilinaga wrote that at the moment of our death, we take only that which is most important with us to the other side. At the moment of Shepard's death, she wasn't thinking of me, or Reapers or anything else. At that moment, there was only one thing important enough for her to take with her.” Garrus let out a long breath. “Me.” “You,” Liara agreed. The nurse returned at the head of a phalanx of doctors. As he'd suspected, Dr. Chakwas was not among them. An older man stepped forward. He smiled at Garrus and Liara then moved to the foot of Shepard's bed. “It's good to see you awake, Commander. My name is Dr. William Arnin. I've been the head of your medical team since you were found on the Citadel.” He turned to Garrus and Liara. “How did this happen? Did she just wake up?” Liara shook her head and sank deeper into her chair. “The commander and I have touched consciousnesses a few times in the past. I was able to make a connection to help her return from beyond the veil.” “I see.” The doctor smiled at her like she'd just told him that the good fairy had wished Shepard awake. “I'd be interested in discussing that with you in more depth, but for the moment, could we have some time with her?” “Of course.” Liara stood and looked to Garrus. “I'll head back to the Normandy.” He nodded, standing as well, but Shepard's hand clamped down on his and pulled him back. “Looks like I'm not going anywhere.” He looked into Shepard's eyes and nodded. “Don't worry. I won't leave you.” He moved his chair closer to her head so that he'd be out of the way. Dr. Chakwas hurried through the door, bypassing the other doctors to stand at Shepard's side. “Welcome back, Commander.” She activated her omnitool and scanned Shepard before looking to her colleague. “I think that tube can come out, don't you, Bill?” The white haired doctor nodded, and the nurse strode to the bedside, her movements rushed and brusque. When she reached for Shepard's head, the commander shied away. “I'll do it,” Chakwas said. She smiled at Shepard and leaned closer, laying a gentle hand on Shepard's knee. “I know everything is confusing and muddled right now.” She glanced over at the squad of doctors milling excitedly around readouts of Shepard's brain waves. “And there are about ten too many doctors here, but you're safe.” Shepard looked to Garrus. He nodded. “Dr. Chakwas has brought both of us through a lot.” When the doctor reached for the straps holding the tube in place, Shepard didn't move away. “Okay,” Karin said, “this isn't going to be pleasant, but just try to relax and on the count of three, give me a big cough.” Shepard did as she was told, gagging and choking as the tube came out. “Swallow a few times,” the doctor encouraged. “It's going to feel like you've been eating razor blades for a while.” She took a cup of ice from the nurse and set it where Shepard could reach it. “These will help.” Shepard struggled to swallow, then cleared her throat a few times. “Thank you,” she replied, her voice a harsh, barely audible whisper. “You're very welcome, Commander.” Shepard looked to Garrus, but sucked on an ice chip for a few moments before she said anything. “What happened?” “What do you remember?” She fished another ice cube out of the cup and closed her eyes. She was silent so long that he thought she might have gone back to sleep. “You were hurt bad,” she said at last. “I called Normandy. We argued about you leaving. I told you I loved you and ran. There was a bright light...” She shook her head and coughed. “That's all. What happened to me? Why can't I remember anything?” “Don't push yourself too hard,” Dr. Chakwas said. “You were very badly wounded. You've been in a coma for four months.” The doctor looked over at the mini medical conference going on beside the bed. “I'll see about clearing the room a bit so that you can get some rest.” Shepard looked to Garrus. “Four months? You been waiting all this time?” He held her hand between both of his, stroking the back of it gently. “No, Shepard. The Normandy just made it back to Earth this morning.” She put an ice chip in her mouth, sucking on it for a moment, her brow furrowing, her body tensing. He knew that the fear was kicking her fight instinct into overdrive, and he couldn't blame her. Waking up with almost no memory, being told that months had passed while she slept, and everything people said just making her confusion worse... it had to be terrifying. “Shepard,” he said, standing and bending over her. “Shepard, look into my eyes.” He reached up to touch her cheek. “You trust me.” She nodded. “Then trust me now. You're safe. Your memory will come back. You've just got to take it easy and rest.” He could see her doing her best to calm herself and gave her a turian smile. He kissed her and she leaned up, pressing into the kiss, her free hand lifting to caress the arch of his neck. “Mmm,” he sighed in a low rumble, “I've missed that.” “Why?” she asked, coughing as her voice rasped. “Why did the Normandy leave?” “Do you remember the Reapers, Shepard?” She shook her head. “Reapers?” Garrus looked to Dr. Chakwas and the Alliance doctor, not sure what, if anything, he should say. “Commander,” Karin said, taking Shepard's hand. “You need to rest. Your memory will come back.” Both doctors activated their omnitools for a minute. “Even a krogan couldn't match me drink for drink,” Shepard said softly. “You learned your lesson.” Dr. Chakwas gave the commander a wide smile. “I sure did. Only takes one hangover of that magnitude to teach me.” “You've been a good friend to me,” Shepard continued, her eyes closing and her brow furrowing again as if she were digging through her mind to find the memories. “You insisted on going back to Earth with me, even though you could have faced court martial.” Chakwas deactivated her omnitool. “As you've been to me, dear friend.” She smiled. “See, your memory is returning already. Get some sleep. I imagine that Garrus will be staying to keep an eye on you.” Garrus nodded. Exhausted as he was, there was no way he was leaving her. “Good. I'll be back in a little while.” The doctor patted Shepard's shoulder, then turned and left, herding the rest of the doctors ahead of her. “Welcome back, Commander,” the white haired doctor said, giving her a wide smile. “A lot of people have been praying for you for a long time.” Shepard raised her hand, giving the doctor's a squeeze when he took it. “Thank you for everything, doctor.” The effort to talk cost her a coughing spell. When it passed, she sank into her pillows, taking another ice cube to suck on. “That tube really messed with your throat.” Shepard nodded. “Feels like I've been drinking acid. Guess that's what I get for laying around for so long.” “How do you feel? Are you in any pain?” She shook her head. “No, no pain, just a lot of blank space on my hard drive. It feels a little better having had memories of Karin return, though.” “Yeah, the rest is there.” She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it. “How are you? You look wiped out.” He nodded. “A little.” “You should get some sleep.” “I will.” His mandibles fluttered. “I've spent four months waiting to see you again. I want to enjoy it for a bit.” She smiled, her eyes drifting closed. “Then get up here and kiss me, Vakarian.” “Yes ma'am.” He leaned over the bed and kissed her, savouring the feeling of her lips, her scent, the silkiness of her hair as he ran his hand over it. “I missed you, Shepard,” he whispered against her lips. “Don't ever leave me again. Got it?” She kissed him. “Got it.” She pulled back a little. “We were in London, in a wrecked building. Water dripped down through the ceiling. You said something about seeing what a human/turian baby would look like.” She smiled and stroked his neck, her arm slipped around him to pull him into a tight embrace. “I love you, Garrus.” He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her, silently cursing the obstacle of his armour. “I can't do this without you, Shepard.” She chuckled. “Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.” He laughed and eased her back onto her pillows. “No, definitely not as stylishly.” He kissed her, then stared into her eyes. His hand cradled her neck, his thumb caressing her cheek. He gave her a turian smile. “Get some sleep. You can kiss me some more when you wake up.” She reached up to stroke her hand over his scars. “I'll never get enough of that.” She pressed her hand to his face. After a moment of looking into his eyes, she frowned. “I'm so sorry, Garrus.” He shook his head, turning to nuzzle the palm of her hand. “For what?” “For causing all the pain that you're trying to hide.” She ran her fingers over his face, tracing its contours. His mandibles dropped, and he cleared his throat. “You can make it up to me over the next seventy or so cycles. Deal?” She nodded. “Deal.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 17, 2013 22:36:06 GMT 1
V Shepard dreamed. Strange disconnected images flashed before her, terrifying her. She said good bye to Garrus, turned away from the Normandy and ran. Machines taller than the tallest skyscrapers roared, their massive, red lasers cutting swath after swath across her path. Men and tanks flew from the ground like paper in a hurricane, bursting into flames. Screaming, explosions, the horrible roar of the lasers all tore into her mind like madness, but she held tight to her purpose, her eyes focused on the beam of light on the other side of the destruction. She needed to get to the beam. It was her only hope of stopping the machines. One of the lasers tore into the ground in front of her. She dove to the side, but it was too late. The world exploded into fire and pain and then darkness. She woke with a start, her heart hammering in her chest, the name of the giant machines appearing in her mind. Reapers. Garrus had asked her if she remembered Reapers. Movement by her door caught her attention. The room was dark, the faint light from the hall not penetrating the shadows in the corners. Something moved in the one to the right of the door. “Who's there?” she called, sitting up. “Do you realize that you aren't even human any more?” a male voice asked. He stepped forward, becoming a lighter shadow against the black. “Of course I am. Who are you? Show yourself.” The man moved out of the shadow into the pale shaft of light from the door, revealing a dark-haired middle aged man in surgical scrubs. “Oh, but you aren't. I've seen inside you. Every inch of you is covered in the Cerberus logo.” “They saved my life, but I'm still human.” She folded her covers back and slowly slid her legs off the side of the bed so she sat on the edge. He lunged forward. “You are an abomination!” he screamed, whipping a pistol out from behind his back. Shepard slid to the floor and turned to face him, leaning against the mattress, her legs shaky but holding her. “Did you work for Cerberus?” she asked, easing her way toward the end of the bed. “Are you angry that I destroyed them?” As she asked the question, she remembered assaulting the Illusive Man's base and killing Kei Leng. “No, I didn't work for Cerberus, you did.” He strode forward with slow, purposeful steps, his entire bearing screaming his pain, rage and helplessness. “I sent my family to Sanctuary.” As he said the words he stabbed the pistol toward her, and a sob broke through his anger. “Do you know what Cerberus did to them there? They turned them into monsters.” Shepard searched her memory, not finding anything. “I'm sorry about your family. Cerberus is gone now. I destroyed them.” “No!” He jabbed the pistol at her again, closing until he was just out of her reach. “You're still here.” Shepard took a step forward, one hand on the bed, the other held out. “I was never part of Cerberus. I needed their ship and their people to defeat the Collectors, but after that was over, I told the Illusive Man to go to hell.” She stopped when he winced away from her, not wanting to push him. “What's your name?” The gun lowered a little, the question visibly throwing him off. His mouth worked for a moment before he answered. “Dr. Mathias Caan.” “Mathias, when the Normandy was destroyed by the Collectors, I was spaced. I died.” Although she was unsure where the words came from, the memories appeared along with them. “A friend gave my body to Cerberus because the Illusive Man said that he could bring me back. I didn't ask for them to do this to me, and they certainly never controlled me.” She sighed and took a small step toward him. “Mathias, would your family want you to become a murderer? Would that help them rest easier?” The surgeon dropped to all fours, the gun clattering across the tile as he burst into wracking sobs. Shepard bent down to retrieve the weapon, then crouched at his side, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I'm so very sorry for your loss.” She looked up, her attention drawn to the door as Liara walked through. The asari jerked to a halt as she saw them. “Shepard?” The commander held out the pistol for Liara to take. “It's okay, Liara. Mathias was just telling me about his family.” Liara hurried over and took the gun. “I see.” “Could you get him a glass of water?” Shepard stood, helping Mathias up. She led him to one of the chairs next to the bed and sat him down. “They went to Sanctuary looking for shelter.” “Oh dear.” The asari poured a cup of water from the jug by Shepard's bed and handed it to the still sobbing doctor. “I'm so sorry.” He took the cup but stared at it like he didn't know quite what it was. “My wife was pregnant with our third child. My mother and father went with them to help her once the baby came.” “Shepard? Liara?” Shepard looked up at Garrus and smiled, gesturing for him to come the rest of the way into the room. “I... I'm sorry.” Mathias stood. “I need to...” “Liara,” Shepard said, quickly taking the doctor's arm before he could flee, “could you take Mathias out to the nursing station and let them know that he could use a little time?” She gave Liara a meaningful stare to impart the things she didn't want to say. She wasn't going to hurt him, but she certainly wasn't going to just let him go. “Of course.” Liara handed the pistol off to Garrus and took the surgeon by the arm, gently guiding him from the room. Garrus looked from the gun to Shepard. “What did I miss? Did that doctor bring this in here?” “He never intended to hurt me.” Shepard gathered all her wires, keeping them out of the way as she eased herself back into bed. The altercation had left her exhausted and shaking. “Bringing a gun in here says otherwise, Shepard.” She nodded. “Okay, he intended, but he wouldn't have gone through with it. He just needed someone to blame for what happened to his family.” She smiled and held out her arms. “Now, stop worrying and come here.” Garrus stared at her for a moment, then let out a grumbling sigh and stepped up to the side of the bed. “I'm going to have to worry about you our whole lives, aren't I?” She smiled and waved him into her embrace. “Yep, that's the small print at the bottom of the contract.” She turned her face into his neck and closed her eyes, sighing softly. “But, I'm so okay with that, if it means that I get to do this.” She pulled back and kissed him. He kissed her back then sat next to her. “Did you get any sleep, or did you spend the whole time talking down would-be murderers?” Shepard held her hand out until he took it in his. “I slept. I dreamed about running for the beam.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “When I was talking to Mathias, I remembered attacking the Illusive Man's headquarters, but so much isn't there, Garrus.” She opened her eyes to look into his. “It's been three days, Garrus, and I don't even remember all of us. I don't remember how we met, how I started loving you, how you started loving me...” “It'll come back, Shepard. As for how you started loving me... well, how could you not with your insane fetish for men with scars?” Shepard laughed. “Of course. How could I not?” She reached out to stroke his face and down the curve of his neck. “I don't even see the scars. I just see you, and you are beautiful to me.” Liara walked in the door. “Admiral Hackett was just coming in as I took the doctor out there. He arrested him when I told him what I knew about what happened. He's going to have someone come in to take your statement.” “How did he get in here with a gun in the first place?” Garrus asked. “I stepped out to use the restroom,” Liara replied, “and he was one of Shepard's doctors, so the guards at the door let him right in.” She sighed and shook her head. “I'm sorry, Shepard.” The commander shook her head. “Don't worry about it, Liara. Calls of nature happen.” She squeezed Garrus' hand. “I want to go back to the Normandy. All the doctors have done the last three days is stare at me and send me for rehab that I could do anywhere. I feel fine other than the blank spots in my memory, and I need to get back out into my life.” “It would be easier to control her security,” Liara agreed. Garrus nodded. “I'll talk to Dr. Chakwas and see what she says.” Shepard closed her eyes and let out a long breath. “Thank you.” She yawned and drifted back toward sleep. As twisted and confusing, frustrating and blank as things were, she knew it would all sort itself out once she was back aboard her ship.
* * * * * Dreams filled with twisted and angry images haunted Shepard's sleep. People pursued her, but not enemies. At least not enemies without cause. She knew that she deserved whatever it was they wanted to do to her, but couldn't find the courage to stop, turn and face her judgement. Jolting awake, gasping, Shepard searched the room, scanning the dark corners for any sign of those who hunted her. When she saw Garrus sleeping slumped back in the chair beside her bed, she let out her breath in a long, but sad sigh. He'd protected her from them, bringing her back to her life. Given a chance, he would protect her from them forever, even though she didn't deserve it. She watched him sleep, her mind scanning the blank and murky spaces in her memory, trying to put a face to the angry ones, trying to discover what it was she had done to them so that she could atone, if such a thing was possible. “Are you staring at me again?” Shepard smiled at the sleepy murmur and nodded. “Yep.” He straightened and reached out to take her hand. “Why aren't you sleeping? It's got to be the middle of the night.” She scooted over against the railing on the side of her bed and patted the mattress next to her. “I've gotten used to sleeping with someone's arms around me.” She nodded toward the empty half of the bed. “Come on, get your butt up here.” He shook his head. “There's no room in that bed for my armour.” “Vakarian, I don't care if you have a mako strapped to your ass.” She grinned. “Get your butt up here.” He grumbled, but stood and walked around the bed. “You're going to regret it when you have this crushing you.” He grabbed the yoke of his armour. “Maybe, but I doubt it.” He sat on the edge of the bed, then carefully rolled over, settling himself so that the ridge down the center of his chest was against the mattress. Once he stopped fidgeting, Shepard tucked herself in against him. “Mmm, better.” He draped one arm over her, gently rubbing her back. “So, why aren't you sleeping? Bad dreams?” She nodded and closed her eyes. “Yeah. The last day or two before you went up to the Citadel were bloody. Probably going to take your mind some time to get it all flushed out.” He kissed her brow and closed his eyes. “It'll all come back, and we'll deal with it as it does.” Shepard relaxed into his arms, loving the warmth of his breath stirring her hair. After long moments of silence, she said, “I did something terrible, Garrus. I don't know what it is, but I feel it bearing down on me. I'm scared.” “I can't believe you would do anything terrible, Shepard. At least not without a damned good reason. Whatever it was, we'll get through it. We always do.” He kissed her again. “Try to get some sleep. I've got you.” She smiled. “Yeah. You do.”
* * * * * Shepard ran through the trees, turning to look over her shoulder every few strides. They remained behind her, she could feel them tracking her, slipping through the shadows just out of sight. “Stand and face them, Shepard. Stop running.” She shook her head. She couldn't. Not because she feared what they would do to her, but because she feared the truth. She couldn't face what she'd done. The galaxy had turned to her to save them. They'd given her that responsibility, and then she had taken that power and done something terrible with it. If she stopped running, she'd remember and have to live with it forever. Shepard jerked to a halt. Strings tied to her arms and legs stopped her so quickly that she fell, or would have if the strings hadn't held her upright, despite her limbs jerking out from under her. She looked up to see the Illusive Man looming over her, his face peeling away from the machine underneath the skin. His fingers gripped crossed sticks, and he laughed as he tilted them back and forth, making her dance. “You'll stop running because I said to stop running, Shepard. I pull your strings.” He danced her out of the trees onto a stage. The audience booed as she appeared. The surgeon, Mathias, and his family stepped up to the edge of the stage. Their faces were the stuff of nightmares, all of them half way transformed into husks. “Make her really dance,” Mathias called. “Make her dance for all of those she left behind.” He waved his hand toward the endless rows of seats, each filled with a shadowy figure. “All these lives she wasn't fast enough to save.” “All the lives she sacrificed,” a familiar voice called. Shepard spun around on her strings. Anderson walked out onto the stage, his gait a loose, bouncing shamble as he dangled from strings held in the Illusive Man's other hand. “Anderson? No. I tried to stop him. I couldn't... I didn't have any control.” Anderson stopped, his knees sagging toward one another, his arms akimbo. “Of course you did, Shepard. You freed yourself a few minutes later, didn't you?” His head flopped off to one side, rolling back and forth a little. “But then again, I suppose it's too much to hope that you would react like a human. You're as much a machine as a Reaper.” “No.” She struggled against the strings that held her, breaking one hand free. “No, I'm human.” “How could you be human?” Joker's voice called from out in the crowd. She turned to the seats, but lights shone in her eyes, and he was only a shadow moving in front of them. “How could you be human, Shepard, after everyone you've killed. Millions and millions of innocent lives gone in an instant.” Shepard tore at the string holding her other hand. “I don't understand. Who did I kill?” She broke loose and reached for Anderson as the Illusive Man danced him closer, keeping him just out of her reach. Joker laughed and began to applaud. “Who did you kill? Bravo. Best performance in a comedy. Give Shepard her award people.” The lights died down, revealing row after row of seats filled with Geth, their chassis smashed, their lights broken, flickering, hanging loose. EDI stood, her confiscated body just as destroyed as those of the Geth. She walked down the aisle toward the stage, clapping slowly. When she reached Shepard, she stopped and pulled a pistol, aiming it at Shepard's head. “Why, Shepard?” the AI asked. “You taught me what it meant to be alive and then tore that life from my grasp. Love, happiness, meaning ... endless possibilities awaited me.” She slowly turned the gun from Shepard, aiming it at Anderson. “Instead, you bought your victory with my life – with all our lives.” “No, EDI, please. I ...” Shepard fought to get loose, to throw herself between Anderson and the gun, but the strings held fast. “You do not get to rest easy after what you've done, Shepard. You should have died with us. Why didn't you die with us?” She pulled the trigger. Shepard broke free and leaped forward, but Anderson slumped in his strings before she could intercede. She fell to her knees. “I would have, EDI. I thought I was going to.” “But you didn't.” “No EDI, please!” Shepard bolted upright in her bed, her cry still echoing off the walls of her hospital room. She searched the room for something, anything familiar, the broken, flickering lights of the shattered Geth still before her eyes. “Shepard?” She jumped, a yelp of terror escaping as a hand touched her shoulder. Spinning around, expecting to see EDI reaching out for her, she gasped with relief when all she saw was Garrus staring at her, frowning with concern. “I killed them all, Garrus.” She threw back the blankets and struggled with the railing on the side of the bed, sobbing frustrated, frantic curses before finally wrestling it free and rolling out of bed onto shaky legs. “I killed them all.” Garrus stood and walked around the bed, but she backed away from him, her hands held out to keep him at arm's length. She didn't deserve to be comforted. She stumbled a few steps one direction, then back, trying to escape the sorrow and guilt that clung to her, threatening to overwhelm her as the images of the broken Geth and EDI played over and over behind her eyes. “Oh Joker...” She slumped to her knees, her arm with the IV dangling in midair as she reached the end of the tubing. “Oh God, forgive me... Joker, I'm so sorry.” Garrus crouched next to her. “Shepard, please. What's wrong?” She looked up into his kind, worried face, the pain feeling as though it should crack her chest in two. “I killed them, Garrus. EDI, the Geth... I sacrificed them for peace. I killed them because I didn't know if I was incorruptible enough or wise enough to choose the other paths.” “You remember what happened on the Citadel?” He wrapped an arm around her. She nodded. “Come on, get back up in bed, and we'll talk about it.” He lifted her onto her feet. “No!” She reached under her nightgown and tore off the tags monitoring her vitals, then ripped off the tape and pulled out her IV. Free from all the hospital equipment, she snatched the blanket off her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders as she headed to the door. She needed air. She needed to be moving. She'd been still for far too long. Garrus followed right behind her as she padded down the corridors, her bare feet making slight smacking sounds on the cold tile. She found the front door, and passed by the protesting security guard, pushing out into the cool, damp night air. The cement was wet under her feet, shining in the moonlight from an earlier rain. The air almost smelled sweet but for a faint waft of death and decay that sneaked along, hiding under the breeze. At least London was quiet, no smoke rising from countless fires, no constant thunder of gunfire. She turned toward Big Ben, the landmark looking like she felt – still standing, but not at all whole. The corpse of a capital Reaper laid just beyond it, its legs curled against its belly like a giant dead roach. Above that, the Citadel shone like a star at the end of the beam, a horrific mockery of the Star of Bethlehem. Garrus stepped up beside her, saying nothing as she surveyed the windowless buildings, their forms standing out like shattered bones. She shook her head. “It could have all been a dream but for this.” She set out, walking away from the buildings. “Last time I was here, everywhere I went, everyone just kept saying what a hero I was, going on about the hope I gave to others.” She let out a bitter, coughing laugh. “God, I hated that. Why me? What gave me the right to make all those decisions for everyone? I'm no smarter, no more evolved. I was just the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, and because of that EDI and the Geth are all dead.” “Tell me what happened, Shepard.” Garrus wrapped his arm around her, not leading her, just offering support and comfort. Shepard laid it all out, everything that the dream had brought back. From arriving on the Citadel, to the Illusive Man, to meeting the Catalyst and the choices it had laid out before her. Garrus just listened in silence. “I thought that controlling them was the best option, but then I looked at the Catalyst and wondered if, in a hundred thousand or a million years, I might lose perspective, lose my connection to humanity and emotion so completely that I became like it.” She leaned into his side a little. “Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and I couldn't take the chance that I might make similar decisions given enough time and separation.” “And the third option, synthesis?” She shook her head. “I'm not God, Garrus. Am I wise enough to impose evolution, especially something so radical, on every life form in the galaxy? Did the Catalyst know for certain that synthesis is the final evolution of life? Had the cosmos whispered in its ear to say that one day every living thing would be part machine, part organic?” Shepard sighed and walked in silence for a moment before continuing. “Our entire war against the Reapers was about being free to choose our destinies as individuals and as races. How could I end that war by stealing everyone's free will from them in the name of some questionable evolution?” “A lot to think about as badly wounded as you were,” Garrus said, his voice soft. Shepard sighed. “I just had to hope that with what we've learned from the Geth and EDI that when we recreate them, we can do it all better. That way, if synthesis is truly the final evolution of life, we get there naturally, in our own time.” “But meanwhile, EDI and the Geth die along with the Reapers.” “Yes.” Shepard stopped and looked up at him. “According to the Catalyst, I was supposed to die too.” She shook her head sadly and leaned into him. “And here I am. All I can do is hope that there is enough forgiveness in the universe to cover all the innocent lives I stole. Do you think that, if there is a God, it can forgive a sin this big, Garrus?” He hugged her tight against him. “I don't think that's the important question, Shepard. The question is, can you find a way to forgive yourself? Can you believe that you made the best choice you could under the circumstances, and then let them go?” Shepard shook her head. “I don't know, Garrus. I really don't know.” She looked around. “Where are we?” “We've just about lapped our way back around to the hospital.” He led her over to a bench and sat, using a corner of her blanket to dry the seat before holding out his arm, inviting her to sit next to him. Shepard sat, tucking her feet up behind her, covering them with the blanket before curling up against his side. She sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head in the angle between his armour's yoke and shoulder guard. He wrapped his arm around her and she smiled, loving the way that his embrace always felt like a protective wall that could keep the entire galaxy at bay if need be. “No one in the galaxy is going to condemn you for the decision you made, Shepard,” Garrus said after several minutes of silence. “Joker...” Shepard's throat closed on the rest of the sentence. “Not even Joker. It was an impossible decision, and you had five minutes to decide. You knew for certain that destroying the Reapers would end the war and save billions more lives than were lost. I can't even imagine how someone faces a moment like that.” He rubbed her back. “Tomorrow, we'll get you back on the Normandy, and soon we'll get back out there, strap on our big guns and get back to what we do best.” She gave him a wan smile. “Typical. You think everything can be cured with a big enough gun.” He chuckled. “Not everything, but the rest will sort itself out once you are back where you belong.” She pressed closer, wriggling in next to him the best she could with his armour in the way, and closed her eyes. “I am where I belong.” She let out a long sigh. “Listen Garrus.” “What am I listening for?” “The night sounds. Except for the lack of traffic, it's like nothing ever happened.” A dog barked in the distance as if agreeing with her. As they sat there, the night still and comforting, Shepard succumbed to her heavy eyelids and fell asleep, waking only for a moment as Garrus lifted her in his arms to carry her back inside. “Trust you to save 99.9% of the galaxy,” she heard him whisper softly as he tucked her back into bed, “and torture yourself over the .1% you couldn't.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 17, 2013 23:42:08 GMT 1
VI Shepard awoke the next morning to a herd of doctors and officers milling about her room. “She remembered what happened on the Citadel,” Garrus was telling Dr. Chakwas and Admiral Hackett. “She's not going to find it an easy thing to live with.” Shepard sat up. “Nor should I.” She took Garrus's hand as he returned to her side. “So, what's the verdict, Doc? Can I get out of here and back to the Normandy?” Dr. Chakwas nodded. “I don't see why not.” She smiled. “Physically, you're as healthy as the day you left the ship, and it seems that the rest is coming back just fine. You'll have to check in with me morning and night for the first few days.” Shepard threw the blankets back and slid out of the bed. “I can do that. Hell, there aren't many conditions you could place on me right now that I wouldn't agree with. I need to move, get my strength back, sleep in my own bed.” “You won't be getting back out there for a little while, Shepard,” Hackett said. “Consider yourself on leave until Dr. Chakwas signs off on your returning to duty.” He nodded as if concluding some debate in his head. “I'll contact you in a day or two to set up a time for a debriefing on what happened up there, Commander. I don't think we need anything down for the record, but I'd like to know for myself.” She nodded. “Very well, Sir.” He gave her a tight smile. “It's damned good to have you back, Shepard.” Shepard forced a smile. “It's good to be back, Sir. Thank you.” She turned to Garrus. “I need clothes. I don't think the hospital gown makes the fashion statement I'm going for.” “Liara will be here in a moment with everything you need.” Dr. Chakwas nodded for Shepard to sit up on her bed. “Take a seat for a moment so I can do a couple of scans.” Shepard did as she was told. “Getting back aboard the Normandy isn't going to make everything okay, Shepard,” Garrus said softly. “Yeah, I know. Trust me, it's there, Garrus. It's not going anywhere, but sitting in here staring at these white walls will just drive me crazy. At least on the Normandy, James can cheat to make up for his lack of speed and flexibility while he whips me back into shape like he did while I was in lock up.” She frowned. “I don't suppose anyone named Beth has been around to see me?” Garrus shook his head. “Not that I know of.” “Yeah.” Shepard sighed and turned to Chakwas. “Well, Doc? Clear to go?” “As soon as you have clothing, you can leave.” The doctor turned off her omnitool. “I'll see you aboard, Commander.” Chakwas turned to leave, walked a couple of steps, then turned back. “What is it, Doc?” “Neither one of us is much for public displays of affection.” Shepard nodded. “True enough.” She winked. “We're tough broads.” Chakwas returned to the bed, stared at Shepard for a moment, then gave her a tight hug. She started to say something, but then Shepard hugged her back, and she just nodded, then let go, turned and walked out. “That was unexpected,” Garrus said and cleared his throat. “Indeed.” Liara walked in, carrying a travel bag. “Here you go, Shepard. I brought a Tshirt and sweatsuit rather than a uniform. I hope that's okay.” Shepard smiled and started pulling clothes out. “Perfect, Liara. Thanks.” “Then I'll see you on the Normandy.” She smiled and hurried out. Shepard dressed quickly, then looked up to find Garrus watching her. “You staring at me, Vakarian?” He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I am.” He stood and closed the space between them, slipping his arms around her. “Just taking a minute to appreciate something I didn't think I'd get to watch you do again.” She stood. “Come on, let's get a move on.” Shepard walked out of her room into a small waiting room. “Look, she really is awake,” someone whispered. “That's a good thing, so why do I feel like I just lost my best friend?” “I know that voice,” Shepard whispered under her breath and looked around the waiting room. The only two people sitting there were an asari and a male human, neither of whom she recognized. “Shhh Mel,” the man hissed at her. Shepard took a couple steps toward them, recognizing the man's voice as well. “Hi,” she said. “Do I know the two of you?” She sighed, her brow furrowing as she tried to understand the reason for her feeling of familiarity with these two strangers. “Shepard,” Garrus said, “this is Mel and Paul. They were the team who found you on the Citadel and brought you back.” Shepard grinned and walked over, reaching out for their hands. “That's why I know your voices. You sat with me. I heard you reading to me.” She sat on the coffee table in front of them. “Thank you both, although yeah, no one should have to suffer through elcor romances... not even coma patients.” Mel laughed. “It was pretty painful. Guess there are just some things we shouldn't know about other races.” “So true.” Shepard squeezed their hands. “Don't be strangers now that I'm awake, okay? And thank you again for finding me, first of all, then for sticking with me.” “It was a privilege, Commander. Thank you for the fact that we're all still here.” Paul squeezed her hand. Shepard smiled and stood. “I'll see you both later. I have to get back to my ship. Spent far too long asleep.” She walked to the door, then turned back. “I meant it. Don't just disappear on me, okay? I'd like to get to spend some time with you where I can answer back.” “Sure thing, Commander,” Paul replied. Shepard nodded and headed out the door. She did her best to ignore the stares and the whispers as she passed people by, appreciating the gratitude but disliking the tone of awe behind most of the voices. The last thing she needed was for the galaxy to pile some sort of messiah complex on her. She stepped outside into a light, misting rain and smiled as she felt it hit her face. “Mmmm, that feels lovely,” she sighed. “Too cold and damp for my liking,” Garrus grumbled. “It's fall. The year is drawing to a close.” She turned until she spotted the Normandy, her ship sitting on the ground, but seeming weightless, as if poised to take off at any moment. “Home,” Garrus said softly. She nodded. “For now.” She turned to look into his eyes. “But just for now.” He stepped up beside her and pressed his hand between her shoulder blades. As she set out for the ship, it slipped down to her waist. Shepard grinned when she saw her people lined up along the top of the ramp, waiting for her. It was odd to think that she'd missed them when she'd had no awareness of how much time had passed, but she felt it nonetheless. Shepard looked over at Garrus. “Permission to come aboard, Sir?” He cleared his throat and nodded. “Permission granted.” Shepard stepped up onto the ramp, but only got a few steps before everyone came down to greet her. “So glad to have you back, ma'am,” Cortez said, giving her a salute. “Hasn't felt right without you.” “Thanks Steve, but it's just Shepard for now. Got a bit to get sorted before you need to salute again.” She gave him a one armed hug, then stopped at the top of the ramp, surrounded again by her family, her ship... and yet nothing was the same. Nothing could ever be the same. She took a deep breath, forced down the guilt and the sorrow, embracing the people who loved her, chatting with them about nothing as they crossed the shuttle bay. It took her an hour to make it up to her quarters. She paused to talk to every crew member, reacquainting herself with all of them. It was good to see them all looking fit and happy, having come through victorious. When she walked into engineering, Gabby and Ken raced up to her, eager to show her Gabby's shiny new engagement ring. “I am so happy for the two of you.” She gave them both a hug. “Congratulations.” “Thanks, Commander,” Gabby replied, glowing. “Turns out he's not so bad once you get him focused.” Shepard grinned and gave Ken a light cuff to the back of the head. “You treat her right. She's worth it.” “Aye Commander, I know it.”
Shepard paused at the threshold of her cabin, taking a few deep breaths before activating the door. She stepped inside and shook her head. “It looks like I left this morning.” She turned to Garrus. “You haven't been staying up here? He gave her a noncommittal grunt and passed her, heading down the stairs. “Why not? You been bunking on a cot in the forward battery again?” She walked over to look in on her hamster. “There was nothing up here for me but memories.” He unfastened the yoke of his armour and lifted it off. “Yeah, I get that.” She pressed her finger against the hamster's habitat. “Hello there little guy.” “I did come up to look after Mordin and check on the fish after the first couple weeks. Traynor took care of them before that.” Shepard's brow furrowed. “Mordin?” A face flashed before her. Large kind eyes stared at her from the face of a older, scarred salarian. “Shepard! Excellent timing. Good to have you here.” Memories of Mordin flooded back, piercing her with a new bolt of grief. Emotions rolled through like thunderstorms, first anger and disgust, then affection, understanding and love, finally pain as she remembered leaving him to die curing the genophage. Reeling from the impact, Shepard reached out to brace herself against the back of her chair. It spun around and she stumbled, her thigh hitting the edge of her desk. Garrus looked up as she grunted with pain, his curiosity quickly turning to concern as she leaned over the desk, sucking in deep breaths to calm the storm inside her. “Shepard?” He strode up the steps and laid a hand on her back. “What is it? What happened?” “I remembered Mordin.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Is every memory going to be like this, Garrus? Was it all a road littered with sorrow and pain?” “Some of it will be, but not all. If you remember Mordin, do you remember Eve – Bakara – as well?” She nodded. “We rescued her from Surkesh.” She straightened and turned to wrap her arms around his waist. Laying her head on his shoulder, she shook her head and sighed. “Mordin died bravely for you, and for her and the rest of us.” Shepard nodded. “He was very brave.” She closed her eyes and stepped in closer, pressing along his length. “It all seems like some bizarre dream. How could all this have happened to one person?” “I believe it was James who said you must have the opposite of a horseshoe up your ass.” Shepard chuckled. “Well, then I must have both a horseshoe and an anti-horseshoe up there, because I've been damned lucky too.” She stroked his neck. “How did we get here if not by luck or fate?” “I don't know, but I'm not going to complain.” He pulled back and gave her a turian smile. “The Reapers are gone, we're still here, and somehow I got you back when I shouldn't have.” She trickled her fingertips over his face. “I remember the first night we were together.” He cleared his throat and looked down and away. “I was so afraid that I was going to screw it up and lose my best friend.” He sighed. “My only friend.” Reaching up, he traced her lips with the tip of a talon. “But then you told me that all I needed to do was hold you.” She kissed his finger. “And you turned out to be a fantastic lover.” His mandibles fluttered. “You don't do so badly yourself.” She laughed and nodded. “Oh well, with that endorsement...” She pulled away. “I may need a refresher course, or I could just check out those vids you used in your research.” He took her hands. “We don't have to rush it, Shepard.” She nodded, pulling her hands free and unsnapped the two halves of his armour's girdle, removing it. “No, we don't. We can take all the time in the universe.” She crouched to remove the guard over his spur, then unsnapped his boots. “That wasn't what I meant.” Nonetheless, he lifted his feet and stepped out of his boots. She looked up at him, running her fingers along his spur. “Garrus, there are very few things in the galaxy that I'm sure of, and most of them concern you.” She sighed and stood. “One of those things is that you've been in this armour for days, so you're going to need to take a shower before you get into our bed.” He cleared his throat as she ran her hands up his chest on either side of the ridge in the center, undoing armour components as she went. “So I have to be clean to do something about all this teasing, huh?” She unzipped her hoodie, slipped it off and draped it over his shoulder. “I didn't say that.” Turning toward the bathroom, she lifted her Tshirt over her head, letting it fall over the back of her chair. He chuckled. “I hope the water reclamation plant is up and running.” Her bra hit the floor. “What is it with you and showers?” Shepard laughed. “It's the only time I can get you to stay still long enough without having you fall asleep on me.” “You're going to pay for that one.” He pulled off his armour's skin and unbuckled his tunic, then grasped her wrist as she reached for the shower control and spun her around, pulling her in tight against him. She grinned and ran her fingers over his stomach where the tough scales gave way to skin. “Promises. Promises.” Turning her back to him, she started the water. Garrus slid his hands over her shoulders and down her sides before slipping them around her waist and pulling her back against him. He nuzzled down her neck and out to her shoulder as he reached around her to undo her belt and trousers. “Mmm, I've missed the way your skin feels.” He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her trousers and eased them off her hips, brushing his cheek against her shoulder. “It's like silk.” “You better finish getting undressed, or you're going to get your clothes wet,” she whispered, her voice low and throaty. He nuzzled her back as he slid her trousers down, his tongue flicking the most ticklish spots along her side. “Then the crew will know things are back to normal.” Shepard lifted one foot, then the other as her trousers and panties reached the floor. “True enough. You do always end up soaked before I get you undressed.” He straightened, running his hands up her shins, along the inside of her thighs, then over her belly. “Only because I can't keep my hands off you long enough.” He pulled her back tight against the right side of his chest when she tried to turn to face him. He pressed her forward under the water and reached for her cloth and soap. “I've got this, Shepard.” She laid her head back and reached up to caress his face, her eyes closing as he bathed her. She let out a long sigh and let everything fall away, allowing herself a few moments where her whole world consisted of nothing but Garrus's touch, the hard, unyielding wall of his body behind her, the soft sound of his breathing next to her ear as it deepened and sped up with desire. She turned into him, kissing his face and the groove along the side of his neck as he set the cloth aside, exploring every inch of her with gentle talons, teasing her until she moaned and twisted in his grasp. She slid her hands down his arms, lacing her fingers over his, her breathing coming in short gasps as her body jerked softly, building to a shuddering release. When his grip on her eased, Shepard turned, her hands pressing against his stomach, the sliding up the angles of his scales under his tunic, lifting it off. She let it fall to the floor behind them, leaning in to kiss his neck. “Spirits,” he sighed, pulling her in tight even as her hands moved to his leggings. He tilted his head to the side, pressing into her kisses. Shepard eased the fabric over the points of his hips, then slid her fingers down to the buckles on his thighs, grinning as she brushed over him, getting just the reaction she wanted. When he kicked his leggings behind him and tried to lift her into his arms, she shook her head and pulled back. “I said you had to be clean.” She turned to grab his soap and soft brush from the vanity. “To get into our bed,” he replied in a gruff whisper. “You didn't say anything about needing to be clean to get into you.” Shepard laughed and backed under the water, crooking a finger. “Come on, Vakarian. Time for me to return the favour, and I intend to take as much time as I possibly can.” He lifted a hand to brush the backs of his fingers over her breast. “You sure about that?” She gently knocked his hand away. “Hey now, that's not playing fair.” Keeping to her promise, she took her time bathing him, particularly in all the places that drove him wild, until he grabbed the soap from her hand, slipped an arm under her backside and lifted her into his arms. “Men ... no patience.” She chuckled, leaning down to kiss him. He returned her kiss with passion and hunger. As their bodies joined, she moaned against his mouth, their kiss deepening with an intense, almost desperate need. She wrapped her calves around his thighs, aching for closeness as their bodies moved together in an ever increasing tempo. Garrus called out, gripping her tight, pressing his face into her chest. She held him, stroking his neck gently as she slowed, her brow pressed to his. When she moved away even slightly, his grip on her tightened. “It's okay,” she whispered, kissing the top of his head, then laying her cheek back against his crest. She closed her eyes, savouring the long moments of connection. “I'm here.” She managed to pull back far enough to slip her fingers under his chin. Lifting his head from her breast, she kissed him softly, then hugged him tight again, his body rigid and hard under her soft curves. “I'm here.” She reached out and turned off the water. “Come on, let's get dry.” He just shook his head a little and held on, taking another five minutes before his grip loosened and he eased her down onto her feet. Shepard grabbed towels, wrapping one around herself before drying Garrus off. He stood there, silent and malleable, his hands moving over her skin, tracing her contours. “Come on.” She took his hand and lead him down to the bed. She threw back the duvet, then quickly towelled herself off before lying down and pulling him in beside her. She smiled sadly as he burrowed in against her, his arms gripping her tightly once more. “It all became real there, didn't it?” she whispered, kissing him. “I'm here, Garrus. You found me.” “I love you, Shepard,” he said, his voice just a breathy, rumbling whisper. “I would've searched forever if it meant not letting you go.” Shepard let out a warm chuckle and kissed him again. “You really aren't a very good turian, are you?” She stroked his chest softly. “I don't know what I would've done if it had been you. There wouldn't have been any reason to come back from the Crucible, not if you were waiting for me on the other side. Defeating the Reapers was just the end of the struggle. You were – are – my future.” She wiggled in a little closer. “But we've got that future back now, and right now all I need to know about it is that I'm not leaving your arms for at least the next twenty four hours. Then, after Dr. Chakwas clears me, I'll resign my commission.” Garrus pulled back far enough to look into her eyes. “You're still going to resign?” She nodded. “It's time for me to see what the galaxy holds for me outside of death, Garrus. Turns out, I'm a pretty decent diplomat. Who knows, maybe I'll go into politics.” He chuckled. “Speaking of... I got a message from the Primarch offering me a seat in the Hierarchy.” Shepard grinned. “I told you. You're doomed, Vakarian.” She sobered and caressed his face. “I'm so very awed by the man you've become. I know you don't always see it or feel it, but you've become someone who doesn't need to blend into his people's ideal. You've become a new ideal. People are going to be trying to live up to your example now, Garrus. I don't think Adrien could pick anyone better.” She sighed and nodded. “We'll find your dad and sister, get them squared away, then get busy building this galaxy into something better.”
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mizdirected
Serviceman 3rd Class
Le sigh... le pant... le gasp
Posts: 33
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Post by mizdirected on Jun 18, 2013 0:16:32 GMT 1
VII True to her word, Shepard didn't budge from Garrus's side for twenty four hours. Anticipating that, someone dropped food off outside the door, knocked and left at both dinner time and breakfast the following morning. After Garrus returned to work, Shepard got up, showered and went looking for Joker, needing to tell him why the woman he'd loved was dead. She found him on the bridge running systems checks with Tali. “Hey Commander,” he called. “So, just had to go and get yourself resurrected twice, didn't you? Couldn't be happy tying Lazarus and Jesus, although he's supposed to be coming back again too, so you'll have to be okay knowing you won't hold the record forever.” Shepard smiled and let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, coming back just wouldn't have been the same without that, thanks Jeff.” She gave Tali a wink. “Could I have him all to myself for a minute?” “Whoa, wait a minute,” Joker called after Tali as she left the bridge. “She called me Jeff. Don't go! Leaving me alone with her ends badly for me either way. Either she wants to kill me without any witnesses, or she wants me, and Garrus will kill me! He doesn't care about witnesses!” Shepard cuffed him. “Stop it. You know my hopeless crush on you will always remain just that.” She sat on the arm of the copilot's chair and looked into his eyes, seeing there the pain he was hiding behind his jokes. “I actually need to talk to you about something.” She took a deep breath and told him the whole story of what had happened to EDI. He was silent for a minute, then shook his head. “What do you want me to say, Shepard? Are you looking for my approval?”
“I don't know, Joker. I just thought you deserved to know the truth.”
“Oh good. Well, now I do. Instead of believing the Reapers killed her, I know it was you, one of my best friends, and someone both EDI and I trusted implicitly.”
“I...” Shepard shook her head, not sure what to say. Nothing she said or did could change what she'd done.
“Ohhhh, I see,” Joker said, his voice hard and bitter. “You're feeling guilty, so you were hoping I'd hold your hand and tell you that it's all okay? I was just supposed to be all right with the fact that you're too much of a coward to follow anything other than the familiar path?” He nodded and shrugged, holding up his hands as if to stop her from arguing with him. “No, no... I get it. You kill things. That's what you do, right? You knew how it would turn out if you killed the Reapers. If a couple million and one innocent people die at the same time, well, let's too bad.”
“Joker!” Tali called, striding through the door. “Stop it! That's not fair.”
Shepard reached out, taking the quarian's hand to still her outburst. “It's okay, Tali. He isn't lying.” She stood and walked out the door.
“Shepard!” Tali followed her. “I...”
“Look after Joker, Tali. I'm fine.” As she walked toward the elevator, Shepard walled the guilt and sorrow back up, not wanting to burden Garrus with it. He believed that if the truth was known, the galaxy wouldn't condemn her for the genocide she'd committed. She needed to give him the gift of holding onto that belief.
Instead of heading up to her quarters, however, Shepard wandered the ship, dropping in on Dr. Chakwas for her twice daily check up before heading down to the shuttle bay . She needed to make arrangements with James to get herself back in shape. Her implants had kept her from losing as much condition as she should have, but she needed to get herself back to exactly who she was before. Every part of the ship was being torn apart and rebuilt in some way. She picked her way through the construction, trying to keep out of the way, finally making it to the shuttle bay, where one team of Alliance engineers were moving the shuttle forks to the top of the ramp, and another was installing a massive rack system for securing crates. “I feel like we're turning her into a freighter,” Steve called over the racket. “We just about have to,” Shepard agreed. “She's going to be out there on her own for a long time.” “You should see what they're doing to the starboard cargo hold. Massive new water tanks and recycling system. Even the garbage compactor has been ripped out and replaced by a recycling unit. They're saying 100% reclamation, but I'm not buying that horse.” Shepard winced. “What are they turning our garbage into?” Steve shrugged. “Hopefully not food... not that we'd be able to tell the difference.” “I saw that they were tearing out the conference room, not that there was much of one. What's that area being turned into?” She asked, walking down the center of the bay. “Three small staterooms for guests. They took the starboard observation lounge apart yesterday and enlarged the crew quarters, adding a small exercise area.” “I saw that they tore the table out behind the elevator in the galley too.” Steve nodded. “Refrigeration and freezer unit. We're going to be too heavy to get her off the ground.” Shepard nodded. “Thank goodness for eezo. How long until she's ready to go?” “They figure about another week. They are planning on doing some massive work back behind the elevator down here. Putting in a narrow access and installing an aft battery.” He scowled at that. “They say that it won't compromise safety, but I don't like it.” “Yeah, the rest feels cosmetic, another gun feels invasive.” She shrugged. “Never hurts to have another gun if she gets in over her head with raiders, but...” She patted Steve's back and winked. “Anyway... have fun. I know secretly, you're loving this.” He laughed. “You know it, Shepard.” She made arrangements to meet James outside after dark when the crowd went away, then headed back up to her quarters. It was strange that her entire ship was being turned inside out without her. “A look at things to come, Shepard,” she muttered to herself. Garrus was working at her computer when she entered. She peered over his shoulder at a massive requisition order. “They need new faucets and shower heads in the Women's bathroom,” she said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I'll add them to the list.” “Poor old Normandy,” she sighed, heading down to the stairs. “Hopefully this time, they actually have time to finish the work so there aren't power cables stretched everywhere.” “She'll be nearly self-sufficient, although I'm concerned about the aft battery idea. I've been over the plans with the team installing it, but there's a reason everything is built in the center of the ship, away from the hull.” He shook his head. “I understand their reasoning for wanting another gun, but I sure don't want to be back there during a firefight.” “Yeah, Steve and I were discussing that, and I was thinking about it on my way back. I'm going to recommend that they put in a shield door and emergency force field at the entrance to the access and build both the gun and the safety door so that they're controlled from the forward battery. That way we don't have people back there unless we're doing maintenance.” He chuckled and nodded. “Commander Shepard taking two entire days off was too much to hope for, I suppose.” She grinned and flopped on the bed. “You're a dreamer, Vakarian. I love that about you.” She turned so that she was facing him and rolled onto her stomach, but then closed her eyes and rested her head on her arms. “Have you seen Bailey or the Council since you got back?” she asked without opening her eyes. “I heard someone say they hung around the hospital a lot while I was out, but I haven't heard a peep since I woke up.” “Bailey said Tevos and Sparatus went by to see you a couple times a week, and he spent a couple hours a day talking at you. Why are you thinking about the council? Going to join?” Shepard looked up at him and laughed. “We'd find out if Salarians can spontaneously combust. God, wouldn't Valern hate that?” He got up and walked down to stretch out beside her on the bed. “As for Bailey, he's got a crush on you, so he's probably hiding, thinking that I told you.” She shook her head. “Which you just did.” She rolled over on her side and leaned up on her elbow, resting her head in her hand. “What do you think of my staying a Spectre?” “Is this an actual question, or rhetorical?” She took his hand. “Actual.” “It means being on the move all the time, especially until the relays are up and running. But, you're the best in the galaxy, Shepard, and not just because you're the second best shot.” She sighed and shook her head. “You use your brain and your instincts more than your weapon. You don't just run in shooting. The galaxy needs more people making that choice.” “When does the 'but' show up?” He squeezed her hand. “There's no but. Shepard, it's your life and your decision.” “No.” She lifted her head and reached over to touch his face. “It's not. It's our life now, Garrus, and our decision.” She leaned back on her hand. “As for being on the move all the time... I don't want that any more.” She wriggled in a little closer. “When you think about leaving the Normandy, what do you feel?” He let out a long breath and shrugged. “About as conflicted as you feel. The best times of my life have taken place aboard this ship, and thinking about leaving her and the crew is like thinking about leaving home.” He played with her fingers for a moment, studying that connection. “But, there are other things I want out of life, and a frigate isn't the best place to accomplish them.” He sighed. “Besides, now I have to weigh the Primarch asking me to take on this responsibility to my people... I don't know, Shepard. Part of me wants to go back to our rogue days.” She smiled. “Yeah. Well, I know two things for sure. The first is that I don't want to be halfway across the galaxy from you six months at a time. That's no way for us to function as a family.” “And the second thing?” “I don't know how I'm going to handle staying still. I've been on the move since I was sixteen, Garrus, and I'm not sure I can just stop. I want to. I want quiet evenings at home; long, lazy vacations with kids splashing in lakes and nights spent making out with my husband by the fire... the whole package.” “So how does being a Spectre fit into this picture?” She closed the inches between them and pressed herself against his length. “If I stay with the Alliance, they will find something new for me to do before I've finished the last thing. You've seen it. Someone hiccoughs and they scream, 'Get Shepard. Only Shepard can cure a hiccough like that.' Maybe, as a Spectre, the galactic threats will be at a minimum for a while, and I can acclimatize to sedentary life while still seeing a little action.” Shepard slid her hand up inside his tunic to stroke his side. “I don't know, Garrus. I'm just throwing around ideas at this point.” “The turian military is going to be recruiting and training heavily for the next decade or two. Would you consider becoming an instructor?” “Hmm.” Her brow wrinkled in a thoughtful frown. “You know, that isn't an option that had even occurred to me. See, this is why I ask you about these things.” She mulled it over for a few more minutes. “You know, every race is going to be rebuilding their military with barely any resources. The fleets are ragtag at best... facilities are blown to hell... What if we created a galactic military academy? All the races could pool their resources to build one facility, and the recruits could train with instructors from every race. We could build a galactic military to defend all space, rather than everyone guarding their stick in the ground, as Wrex once said.” Garrus nodded. “It's worth proposing. Whether at a galactic academy or one on Palaven, teaching would keep you busy as hell, but also keep you home most of the time.” She kissed him. “You're a genius.” He chuckled. “I have moments.” “So, what are the things that you want that mean leaving the Normandy?” He cleared his throat. “You know that I'm not good at talking about this stuff, Shepard.” She nodded. “I know, but you have to be able to talk to me about this stuff. What do you want from our life, from us, from me?” “What I want from you is easy. You know that thing you do with your tongue...” She elbowed him. “Come on.” Leaning up again, she looked into his eyes. “I need to know what you want and hope for our future, Garrus. I don't want forty years to pass before finding out that you weren't happy or had been missing out.” “If I get forty years with you, Shepard, I'll be happy.” He pulled her into his arms and held her so her head was cradled against his chest. “I know it's impossible in the usual sense, but I want to have a family. Midnight feedings, temper tantrums, homework, first dances, driving lessons, grandkids...” He ran his talons through her hair. “I never thought I'd want any of that.” “How do you feel about adoption?” “There will be a lot of kids needing homes out there.” She smiled. “I'm sensing another 'but'.” “I want to see what our options are.” He cleared his throat again. “I want to raise your children, Shepard, even if we can't create them together.” She nodded. “Okay, then we see what our options are. I think Karin is a good place to start. Not to make her sound too much like an underworld crime lord, but she's got connections.” She hugged him. “I think I'm going to take a nap. James starts raking me over the coals tonight, so I want to be rested. It'll also give you a chance to do the things you need to be doing instead of babysitting me.” He held onto her when she tried to move away. “There's nothing else I need to do.” She leaned up and kissed him. “Well then at least let me get under the covers.” She wriggled out of his grasp and quickly stripped out of her clothes. “What kind of nap is this?” he asked, watching her. “The kind where if my man is in bed with me, I want to feel him against me. And, maybe, if he's very, very lucky, the kind where I do that thing with my tongue.”
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