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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 21, 2013 16:22:52 GMT 1
I thought I would do a thread for this so I don't start a new one every time I write something.
And I just finished a poem if anybody's interested!
The Man Behind the Curtain
My father used to tell me that your brain is sat behind you pulling strings laced through your fingers and your eyes, itching you and twitching at your lips to make you say things to distract your curiosity and keep you satisfied.
Your brain needs you to think that it’s not there until you use it and it gets you to forget you ever do. It grows a little bigger every time you feel it working but that makes it wrinkle up against itself to hide from you.
It tells you that you use your skin to touch, your tongue to taste, and something called your soul for something else. It’s told you not to ask what makes them work and you believe it ‘cause you don’t want to ask how it knows what you don’t know yourself.
Your brain just lets you rest and lifts you up and puts you down. It’s your creator but it hates to spoil the show. Don’t look too long or cut beneath the surface ‘cause it hurts. Your brain knows what its doing and that’s all you need to know.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Apr 21, 2013 18:53:35 GMT 1
Awesome! This is a really good poem, Buch, I love the flow and the rhythm of it...
And, like one of the other poems you posted, I can sort of feel a musical flow to this... ;D
Keep on writing, I love your poems!
p.s: I hope I posted this review in the right thread - was I supposed to put it somewhere else?
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 21, 2013 18:58:17 GMT 1
Liking them rhymes there dude.
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 21, 2013 19:01:19 GMT 1
Thanks, you two. And yeah - this is the right thread!
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Post by jklinders on Apr 21, 2013 19:07:57 GMT 1
Looks good.
I have no eye for poetry though so take the words of others before me.
Also let me know if you want your other stuff pulled in here please.
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 21, 2013 19:13:34 GMT 1
Ah, leave it where it is please. I'll put stuff in here from now on though.
Thanks though. Good is what I was aiming for.
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 24, 2013 0:53:52 GMT 1
Another poem -- I'm procrastinating for an essay so I feel strangely productive. xD -
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 26, 2013 12:08:43 GMT 1
Well....i lost my appetite for jam for a while. Thanks Buch!...dick.,
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 26, 2013 19:54:47 GMT 1
Thanks Gorvar.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 26, 2013 21:36:32 GMT 1
Any time.
Seriously, i liked it dude. Very maccabre, putting something nasty in context of something sweet. Kinda well done on the creep factor.
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 26, 2013 22:08:33 GMT 1
Cheers mate! It's one of those things that I just wrote without having any plan for it, you know what I mean? Creepy and macarbre is good though!
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 26, 2013 23:57:22 GMT 1
The muses are bitches that way, but nice bitches to.
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Post by Mister Buch on Aug 16, 2013 11:32:01 GMT 1
Written another poem! Got the idea when I was in a church and they were playing 'The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face', so this one is borderline plagiarism. xD
Man
When God saw the face of man He thought the man had made the sun. He knew better, but He swears He thought so in that moment. He always remembers.
When God saw the man’s hands build He thought it was magic and He gasped. He thought there were wonders He couldn’t touch and he thought He would reach forever.
When God saw the man’s eyes up close He thought they were windows into paradise. He imagined the coloured ring as a halo and mused about what might be in the black.
One day God heard the man speak to Him and He thought He would never be happier. He waited to hear the secrets of everything until He slept, and smiled, and it died.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Aug 16, 2013 12:13:06 GMT 1
That's deep Buch...
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Post by Clint Johnston on Aug 16, 2013 14:26:55 GMT 1
Didn't that song have a line "The first time ever I lay with you"?
Odd choice for church... (Though Johnny Cash's rendition was pretty good)
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