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Post by Mister Buch on Feb 28, 2013 18:06:23 GMT 1
Damn, that's really good. Nice one Gorvar.
I really like how you describe the mud and the cold and then say that the observer has no physical reaction to it. That's a really neat way to establish his perspective as a robo-man. Great opening.
Just in general it's great the way you describe his understanding of the world - it's like the story takes place entirely in his head and that's really cool. I like the names he gives things - 'I am Collector' sounds realy good, 'The Shepard'.
And it's very Garrus-like indeed to immediately try to kill him and have to be shouted down. Ahhh, Garrus. One day we'll find somebody who it's okay for you to murder!
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Feb 28, 2013 18:38:42 GMT 1
Thanks Leon! You are my favourite out of Star Wolf, more so then Pigma that fat pig.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Feb 28, 2013 19:04:37 GMT 1
I really liked this new story, Gorvar - is it just the beginning? Will there be more to it, or was it a One-Shot? I think it's awesome and could work really well as a long chaptered story...
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Feb 28, 2013 19:12:17 GMT 1
It is a multi-chapter story. I got more stuff coming up with Javik themes such as indivuality, the greater good, redmeption enctr...
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Post by Cali on Feb 28, 2013 23:09:03 GMT 1
Thanks Leon! You are my favorite out of Star Wolf, more so then Pigma that fat pig. Naturally, nobody likes Pigma due to how abrasive, condescending, psychotic and giggly he is. ;D Also, I've been thinking about getting back into the whole Fanfiction aspect of this site, even on the writing stance. I may have to go Tillian's route and make some slightly AU stuff, though.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Mar 1, 2013 12:39:43 GMT 1
Sure why not? As long you dont rip off my space cowboy idea
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Post by Mister Buch on Mar 3, 2013 22:22:18 GMT 1
Really cool! I like the way he resembles Legion but is different in a lot of ways too.
I really like the name 'Moseh' for him - very cool. But did I miss something? Because I don't get who slipped the paper under the door and why.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Mar 3, 2013 22:44:32 GMT 1
It's a Mystery!....Which i will get into later. And I picked the name for a reason to!
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Post by jklinders on Mar 18, 2013 3:04:40 GMT 1
OK, I finally got around to reading this.
I like it. This is a nice way to build a narrative around Bioware adding the Collectors to the game. Hoping to see more.
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