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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Dec 18, 2012 3:51:11 GMT 1
*curtseys* Glad my flattery could be of service...
Though it is actually very true - my first instinct after reading that poem was to start tuning it in my head...
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Post by Rascarin on Jan 22, 2014 14:44:09 GMT 1
Late to the review party again, but thought I'd weigh in in this one. Like it a lot, very sweetly romantic.
Only bit that I didn't like was the "and shove their mouths on each other’s." line - it seemed quite jarring compared to the otherwise gentle tone.
That aside, it's a really nice piece. Would definitely like to see more of this sort of thing from you, it works really well.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jan 22, 2014 15:19:13 GMT 1
Thanks. To be honest I don't like this poem very much at all now. I forgot I'd even left it online! But I have been writing lots more poetry. Last year I really got into it. I agree about that line too. Thanks, Scarin. Appreciated!
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Post by Rascarin on Jan 22, 2014 15:31:36 GMT 1
To be honest I don't like this poem very much at all now. That happens to me with pretty much everything I write - I'll read it again some months or a year later and wish I could reach back through time and forcefully slap myself across the face and stop myself. But I like this. Your writing has always stood the test of time for me - I actually re-read Mock Effect this week preparatory to my upcoming rerun and was still chuckling to myself in the office.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jan 22, 2014 15:37:33 GMT 1
You're very kind! Cheers though. With Mock Effect, I'm amazed at how long it's lasted and people still say they laughed. Probably the closest to success I'll ever get - I love it.
I could definitely slap myself for this poem. I can imagine why I was writing too, and my past self would get a second slap for that. xD
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Post by Clint Johnston on Jan 22, 2014 15:51:35 GMT 1
*Slaps Buch a third time for good measure*
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