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Post by CAPT Issac R. Madden on Nov 23, 2012 20:25:11 GMT 1
Like the title says: we discuss how we'd change the scripts of various shows/movies.
I'll lead off with "Take Me Out to the Holosuite" from DS9. AKA "Sisko gets narky and challenges an old Vulcan rival to a baseball game".
First off... WTF is going on here? Talk about shoehorning a sport into Star Trek, yet alone baseball. Now then...
Given that I'm stuck with the basic "sports competition" premise, I'll ditch the baseball game for a hockey match. I'll also assume certain events didn't happen to get the following line-up. Center: Benjamin Sisko, wingers: Miles O'Brian and Major Kira Nerys, Defense: Worf and Jadzia Dax (if those two don't constitute a 'grind line' I don't know who does) and Quark as the goalie (just inform him he'll be paid "X" amount per period with decutions for allowing goals. If he manages a shutout, then he gets a hefty bonus). Fill in the second and third lines with various DS9 crew members with a good showing from the Andorians and you've got yourself a good base for a hockey team.
(I clearly think about this kind of thing too much...)
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Post by Cali on Nov 23, 2012 23:45:41 GMT 1
Step out of the thread and walk in a straight line please.
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Post by Mister Buch on Nov 24, 2012 0:24:45 GMT 1
I would go through the script to the Phantom Menace, and replace 'Qui-Gon' with 'Obi-Wan' and 'young Obi-Wan' with 'Anakin'. And just delete the Gungans and the Tatooine segment entirely. I would have Maul survive and go on to ebcome the main (visible) antagonist of the trilogy, and instead kill-off a menacing non-Jedi, Governor Tarkin - esque character (maybe this could even be Count Dooku) who would replace Nute Gunray as a more serious antagonist as well as distract the viewer's attention from Lord Sidious, thus making his mystery more subtle.
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Also in The Avengers I would add the following:
THOR: Where is my girlfriend, Natalie Portman?
FURY: Don't worry. As soon as our base was compromised, our agents immediately retrieved Natalie Portman and relocated her to this base, so that she can be in the movie, since your relationship to her is enormously important to your arc and it would be odd if we never mentioned her again.
THOR: Thanks.
FURY: We are keeping her here on the flying ship thing, along with Iron Man's girlfriend Gwynneth Paltrow, and obviously Betty Ross, played by Liv Tyler who surely didn't have anything better to do and who is in fact Dr Banner's sole focus and the only way he can control himself as the Hulk..... in a room together, working on science and stuff together. Agent Romanov is looking after them.
THOR: Hot.
FURY: I know. I mean, I haven't been in there or anything.
THOR: Yeahh...
FURY: I just don't think that whatever is really going on in that room will be anything but a crushing disappointment, considering what I'm thinking of.
THOR: Hmmm.
FURY: Right.
...
FURY: Now.
THOR: BY ODIN!
FURY: You're damn right.
*lightning*
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Post by CAPT Issac R. Madden on Nov 24, 2012 1:00:53 GMT 1
I can get behind your Prequel script, Buch. But, of course, we'd have to have a detailed sequence of Cato Nemoida in one of the later movies.
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Post by Mr. Glow on Nov 24, 2012 1:02:01 GMT 1
It would have been about Podracing. All of it.
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Post by Mister Buch on Nov 24, 2012 1:07:26 GMT 1
I would have changed the name of the film to 'Greg Proops and Jar Jar's All-Podracing Star Wars Special', before turning the gun on myself.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Nov 24, 2012 10:54:00 GMT 1
i want to add to Buch;s script by introducing Qui-Gon as Obi-Wan's mentor before the latter became a master, who then turns on the Jedi in Episode II with the rest of the Separtists and become Dooku;s right hand man like Sora Bulq was in the Darkhorse comics. Maybe he redeems himself in Episode III by holding of Darth Vader so Padme can flee with her newborn children (no dying because she lost the will to life bullshit).
Also Assaj Ventress as Anakin;s rival! Maul is Obi-wan;s for obvious reasons. Also Mace Windu gets to be more emtionalo, he is Samuel L motherfucking Jackson, make him shout a little and be a bad ass. Screw the celibacy rule for Jedi to, always hated that rule.
As for other movies
Jurassic Park: The Lost World. Give half the people a brain. Jeff Goldblum;s girlfriend hanging her bloodied Jacket in the air so the Rex can find them in that camp later? Yeah cut that shit. Also more scenes of Dinosaurs looking serene, giving it a sense of wonder, not fucking legging it the entire time as they try to eat you.
Spider-Man 3; Cut the Sandman bullshit and focus purely on Venom as the villain. And make him big to, the Topher grace venom was to much like Black spidey with teeth rather then Venom. Hell maybe have thrown in Carnage in there to for good measure.
The Matrix 3: More fight scenes for Zion, Morpheus should;ve died for Neo, Neo and Trinity survive and become the new leaders of the human race a la Adam and Eve,
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Post by jklinders on Nov 24, 2012 21:38:14 GMT 1
My change for the script in Matrix 2 and 3 would have involved lighter fluid and a match...
I am perfectly happy with the open ending the first one gave me. Too much pseudo-philosophical bullshit in the second and third movies for my taste.
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Post by CAPT Issac R. Madden on Nov 24, 2012 23:41:28 GMT 1
Here's one: for Star Trek The Next Generation, I would NOT kill off Tasha Yar. I'd instead have her evolve into a kind of mentor for the more troubled crew members (like Ro Laren). Just so much wasted potential there.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Nov 24, 2012 23:46:39 GMT 1
Agreed. Also for Star Trek Generations....make Captain Kirk die awesomely by ramming the Enterprise into the Klingon Bird of Prey. Dont drop him off a fucking bridge...and be burried in a shallow grave.
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Post by jklinders on Nov 25, 2012 3:12:19 GMT 1
Pretty sure the actress was involved in some personal scandal that pissed Roddenbery off enough for him to fire her.
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Post by Mister Buch on Nov 25, 2012 4:21:20 GMT 1
Ouch. I liked Tasha Yar too.
Agreed with the 'Generations' post. I could think of a ton of ideas to save the concept of Picard and Kirk meeting. 1 - Have Picard and Kirk meet for a more meaningful reason than chance. 2 - Have Kirk accomplish something more challenging than a fistfight with Malcolm McDowell, and die to a greater and more important cause. 3 - Don't bury him in rocks. 4 - How about Spock, huh. How about you try and get Spock. Jackasses.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Nov 25, 2012 11:33:10 GMT 1
They did try to get Leonard Nemoy, he told them this.
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Post by CAPT Issac R. Madden on Nov 25, 2012 14:44:59 GMT 1
Pretty sure the actress was involved in some personal scandal that pissed Roddenbery off enough for him to fire her. Actually the actress said something about getting the feeling that her character was nothing more than "set dressing" (not sure why since that was Councilor Troi's job with that cleavage revealing top). It wasn't til after she left that she realized how much her character actually mattered so she struck a deal to reprise her role in "Yesterday's Enterprise" and her subsequent role as Sela.
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Post by Mister Buch on Nov 25, 2012 15:55:01 GMT 1
Probably helped that she didn't get any decent work afterwards, too.
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