|
Post by Mister Buch on Jul 18, 2012 0:28:23 GMT 1
And then, at the docking port, Kaidan finally agreed to join up with the Shepard and take his place on the Normandy. And they shared a look that said everything they each wanted to say. Aw, Uncle Buzz, they were so in love!Yes they were, my sweet, although they had never used the word... not yet, anyway. I can't wait for that part!All in time, little one. All in time. So, where was I? Oh yes, Kaidan and the Shepard strode away together, away from the Citadel and back to their home. Kaidan went first, and this allowed the Shepard to stare at his ass and smile to herself. W..... why did she do that, Uncle?Because he had a great ass, kid. And she was picturing what it would look like from another angle later that night, if you know what I mean. Oh yeah, she could just see it in h... Mooommm! Uncle Buzz is off his meds again!
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 18, 2012 0:33:11 GMT 1
( The 2nd animator's story)
Yeah the sex scene's would be very...odd to describe to a kid,
|
|
|
Post by Mister Buch on Jul 18, 2012 0:34:44 GMT 1
And then Jack said to Joker, "Same to you, f......light lieutenant." And all of her students laughed as the Shepard looked on. You see, the Shepard would have laughed too, but she was too moved... too proud of the young lady and how she had changed thanks to her influence.
Gee wiz... the Shepard's kindness and wisdom made all of her friends better people, huh, Uncle Buzz?
That's right. The Shepard was a very special kind of soldier. One who fought for hearts and minds, for its own sake. One who fought for the people she loved. Anyway, at that point Jack told her students to 'Cover your ears!' and then she called Joker a 'F......' and, well, ho ho, you can imagine!
What did she say, Uncle Buzz?
She said 'Fuck-face.'
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 18, 2012 0:40:23 GMT 1
I just remember....in ME1 you fight mobs that keep shouting "Enemies everywhere." Does that mean old guy Buzz keeps saying it.
|
|
|
Post by Mr. Glow on Jul 18, 2012 0:49:55 GMT 1
I wonder how he explained Jack's boob-harness to the kid without future Chris Hansen getting involved?
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 18, 2012 0:51:07 GMT 1
Tit-tape my sweet...tit-tape. Although he would probably forget that when he mentions the space dinosaurs. I would.
|
|
|
Post by Mister Buch on Jul 18, 2012 0:51:44 GMT 1
And then the Shepard burst from cover with her sniper rifle armed and ready to strike back at the cruel, corrupt Cerberus guards who had let this terrible thing happen. You see, in their longing to improve humanity, they had lost everything that makes humanity special.
Gosh, that part about them experimenting on Thorian clones was scary...!
Ha ha ha. I'm sure the Shepard was scared too. Especially when the Cerberus guards attacked her! "I WILL DESTROY YOU!" one of them yelled, hurling biotic warp fields at the Shepard's face, in the hope that the field would shred apart the skin and muscle of her head. "I WILL DESTORY YOU!" she screamed again.
Uncle, I'm not...
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" "ENEMIES EVERYWHERE!" Bang bang, pew pew pew! "ENEMIES EVERYWHERE!" "I WILL DESTROY YOU!" The Shepard, our graceful and loving protector, deftly threw a grenade at the crowd of foes, and blew off their legs.
I...
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" The Cerberus woman yelled again. And the Shepard's rifle shot her straight in the forehead, making her entire head explode. You see, despite her claims, it was the Cerberus operative who had really been destroyed, as well as most of her brain and skull.
That's not even... possible.
The Shepard made it possible, my sweet. And then she realised that the Admiral had been killed by lethal injection, and not been torn apart by the insane rachni at all. "Those Cerberus bastards," Ashley muttered...
Yeah.
|
|
|
Post by Clint Johnston on Jul 18, 2012 5:55:35 GMT 1
Uncle Buzz, do you think I could hear the one about the princess and the pony instead tonight?
Nah... I want to tell you about the time Shepard visited the consort.
|
|
|
Post by lieden on Jul 18, 2012 13:42:48 GMT 1
Hahhhh! You ought to write more of these!
|
|
|
Post by Mister Buch on Jul 18, 2012 16:16:10 GMT 1
Thanks very much. I know I've made this same joke a hundred times, but I insist it hasn't gotten old yet.
|
|
|
Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jul 18, 2012 21:35:51 GMT 1
I agree, and this from the guy who has run the dinosaur jokes into extinction!
|
|
|
Post by Clint Johnston on Jul 19, 2012 5:21:17 GMT 1
"Is this a Kissing book?"
|
|