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Post by Mister Buch on Mar 28, 2012 16:21:09 GMT 1
I just thought I'd mention in case anyone fancies it - I finally finished a new short story (it's been months since I've successfully written anything at all). The story is called Tuesday Morning Visitors, it has to do with religion and it's pretentious. EDIT: Now corrected for the million spelling errors I just noticed.
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Post by lieden on Mar 28, 2012 17:48:01 GMT 1
It's a very depressing story. :/
I like it, nonetheless. I like how time and observations and thoughts stretch inside the church space. At first I felt the end of the story felt abrupt (I thought to myself, 'are you pulling a ME3 ending, Buch?!'), but it actually makes very good sense because of that 'And just like that, she was done thinking' line. Then it really collapses, all this quiet, expansive, reflective mood, into a kind of senseless mundaneness.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Mar 28, 2012 20:59:17 GMT 1
I had the feeling this was a good representation of the stream of consciousness right there, i like it very much. Cheers there man.
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Post by Mister Buch on Mar 28, 2012 22:33:39 GMT 1
Hey - thanks very much for reading, you two.
As for the ending - yeah, that's what I was going for. And usually I will have a big dramatic climax, so this was a wierd thing for me.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Mar 29, 2012 2:16:38 GMT 1
I liked it - it actually felt a little familiar, in a sense, because I can remember being that sad with myself as recently as a few years ago... not to sound too morose here, but about 3 years ago, I made a big decision in my life that resulted in me starting to feel better about myself, and have since found the best thing that ever happened to me. But, up until I made that decision 3 years ago, I was constantly depressed and self-loathing, and I felt that from the girl in your story. I feel bad for her. She's a fictional character, I know, but I hope that if you write more about her she starts to recover from whatever made her so broken. Is there going to be another story about her? Because I find myself rooting for her and wanting to read more about her.
Sorry for being so sappy just now...
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Post by Mister Buch on Mar 29, 2012 11:42:39 GMT 1
No worries, and thanks for reading. For the record, no plans to write the same character again. To be honest it was supposed to be less about her and more about her interaction with the narrator. Like I said, pretentious. But, you know, I get the impression she'll cheer up eventually.
But I am surprised to see how depressing this story apparently is!
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Mar 29, 2012 15:26:25 GMT 1
Maybe a little depressing, when I read it, but also more than a bit uplifting, now that I think about it. I remember how it was for me when I felt that broken - I felt like I was a worthless waste of space. But, then I realize that things have changed a lot for me... my life has improved greatly; partly because of the emotional safety and comfort I feel with my partner, and how he treats me (which is a noticable difference from how a couple of my exes had treated me) and partly because my own attitudes have changed. So, your story did make me sad, a little, but it also shows hope because if things got better for me, then it's safe to hope that they can get better for her too... even though she is a fictional character. Boy, I think I do sometimes get too emotionally involved with fictional people!
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Post by Mister Buch on Mar 29, 2012 16:02:05 GMT 1
Well for what it's worth, I'm glad you're doing better now.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Mar 29, 2012 16:42:31 GMT 1
Thanks! And, sorry for all the emotional babbling...
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Post by Mister Buch on Mar 29, 2012 18:12:02 GMT 1
No worries! For the record, I think I know what you mean, at least a bit, when you describe your feelings and improvement. Maybe we've had similar low-points and that came through.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Mar 29, 2012 18:44:16 GMT 1
That could explain it...
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Post by Clint Johnston on Mar 30, 2012 6:37:27 GMT 1
Will check it out tomorrow.
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Post by Mister Buch on Mar 31, 2012 22:21:05 GMT 1
Thanks, Clint. I just made a very small but very important (in my head) correction to the ending, so if you do read it you will get the grade A *absolute* best version. And I don't even charge for DLC.
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