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Post by Cali on Aug 7, 2011 1:53:48 GMT 1
Being a pup for Mass Effect fan fiction stories with original characters and story arcs, I simply couldn't pass this up.
Did I like it? Well, yes of course I did! You made Kane Corr to be vulnerable and flawed, and it's quite refreshing in the sea of Shepards and the pervasive list of Gary Stus.
This brings me to the only issue I have: It didn't seem like there was enough for me to go on to fully judge it. It was not possible for me to be able to make any judgement on the plot as it didn't seem to go anywhere just yet. I have no idea where these two characters you introduced are from and what organization they're punching the clock for (if they aren't independent mercs).
Though just to tell you, some of the best stories I've seen didn't really go anywhere or make much sense the first two or three chapters, and basically became really good near the middle. That sort of manifested the giddy patience I have today, and one of the reasons why I await with bated breath to see where the plot will lead and how the characters will develop.
So Kane, welcome to the forums! I'll be sure to read whatever other installments in the story you have later on.
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Post by Cali on Aug 7, 2011 5:27:20 GMT 1
Good chapter! Judging by the cast of characters you're introducing, I assume they'll all make an appearance later on, eh? The mention of this artifact is definitely flagging down the Mass Effect sensibility of the story.
Random speculation: Kane's superior seems fishy to me for some reason. It's like he's either got a chip on his shoulder, a queer fish in his shirt pocket, or his fingers crossed behind his back. Like he knows more than he's letting on.
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