The WarCraft Canon Appreciation Thread
Nov 2, 2014 3:32:33 GMT 1
Tillian Panthesis, Mr. Glow, and 1 more like this
Post by Cali on Nov 2, 2014 3:32:33 GMT 1
WarCraft canon is Kevin Bloody Awesome. It's the bee's knees, it's the knife's edge, it's a bar called Where-It's-At, at Where-It's-At, Tennessee. It's a four hour car ride with Bill Murray riding shotgun and being awesome, it's the Arnold movie from your childhood that still makes you feel like a badass child when you watch it, it's the ghosts of Johan Sebastian Bach, Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, and Chris Farley smoking weed with you and playing pool in your dad's attic telling you why life is fucking goddamn amazing and worth the fuck living. It's like having Nicole Kidman naked in the same room as you, embracing you as the moon is taking it's sweet time crashing into earth. IT'S A GODDAMN 80'S MOVIE WORKOUT/TRAINING MONTAGE WHERE YOU ARE LOVING. EVERY. GODDAMN. SECOND. OF IT!
"But Grandpa Cali, what's it got? Does it got Kevin McKidd voicing an SAS agent in a story written by Sir Christopher Avellone motherfucker?"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh boy, sit back down or you ain't gettin' yo Applejack cereal for Christmas. And don't interrupt yo pops. Yo grandaddy has seen it all, Gene! Every goddamn second of what constitutes as "ALL".
WHY THE FUCK DID MY SON NAME YO' SCRAWNY IRISH ASS 'GENE', GENE?! GODDAMN, THESE ARE PRESSING QUESTIONS. FUCK IT, YOU ANSWER IT LATER BOY.
Anyway, WarCraft lore has got it all. It's a high fantasy setting in Ozzy Ozbourne's wildest PCP fever dreams. It's an Office Depot package of gore, swords, axes, magic, orcs, trolls, elves, tits, asses, sexually frustrated purple skinned elves, ale, taverns, institutionalized racism allegories, goddamn panda bears. Jesus H. Christ, boy. HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA SAY IMMA DISOWN YO HONOR STUDENT ASS IF YOU AIN'T GONNA PLAY ANY WARCRAFT GAMES, BITCH.
But seriously, I really like WarCraft. WoW made the lore super effin' wack, but that ain't gonna keep me from da good stuff of da days o' yore.
"But Grandpa Cali, what's it got? Does it got Kevin McKidd voicing an SAS agent in a story written by Sir Christopher Avellone motherfucker?"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh boy, sit back down or you ain't gettin' yo Applejack cereal for Christmas. And don't interrupt yo pops. Yo grandaddy has seen it all, Gene! Every goddamn second of what constitutes as "ALL".
WHY THE FUCK DID MY SON NAME YO' SCRAWNY IRISH ASS 'GENE', GENE?! GODDAMN, THESE ARE PRESSING QUESTIONS. FUCK IT, YOU ANSWER IT LATER BOY.
Anyway, WarCraft lore has got it all. It's a high fantasy setting in Ozzy Ozbourne's wildest PCP fever dreams. It's an Office Depot package of gore, swords, axes, magic, orcs, trolls, elves, tits, asses, sexually frustrated purple skinned elves, ale, taverns, institutionalized racism allegories, goddamn panda bears. Jesus H. Christ, boy. HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA SAY IMMA DISOWN YO HONOR STUDENT ASS IF YOU AIN'T GONNA PLAY ANY WARCRAFT GAMES, BITCH.
But seriously, I really like WarCraft. WoW made the lore super effin' wack, but that ain't gonna keep me from da good stuff of da days o' yore.