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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 5, 2014 1:37:56 GMT 1
I've been trying to write a legitimate fantasy story, which is proving very hard! I've gone through like a million ideas and settings and ended up with a very simple, stereotype setting (deliberately). I have a first chapter here. If anyone has any feedback about how it reads, it would come in handy since I feel a bit out of my depth. Ay help at all that comes from this- thank you very much. If you're too busy to help me with my writing for the millionth time, no worries! (The Noah's ark idea turned out well by the way! I got a good story out of that, I think, which I'm submitting now as my University dissertation. ) ---- ---- So hopefully you can see what I'm trying to do there - a sort of 'dark' comedy story where an everyman goes around systematically killing the members of the standard 4-man adventurer party that you always see. There will probably be some sort of twist at the end, I think, but not sure what at this stage. So --- does that have legs? Did it make you want to follow it? Was the narrator character interesting, or not? These are my big concerns! Thanks for any comments.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 5, 2014 13:31:40 GMT 1
"I have been waiting for a piss since fucking sundown, you pasty little shit! Sundown!"
That made me laugh, sir!
I like the deconstruction of a D and D party, poking fun at stereotypes and an analysis on them. I think you got something here and this part I can easily see as a prologue. However for an overal narrative...you need something big. Like this is a good tone setter, i really enjoy it.
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 5, 2014 17:03:45 GMT 1
Brilliant. Thanks a lot Gorvindus. That's pretty much what I thought too - I've got *something* here, but it needs to get bigger if it continues.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 5, 2014 19:10:15 GMT 1
You could try an anti-hero story, or something similar to a Discworld Terry Pratchet novel.
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 5, 2014 19:28:55 GMT 1
Oh hell - Terry Pratchett. That's what this is! I've been working on an idea of calling the story 'Bill' where the everyman assassin just goes through these stereotype figures one by one in a variety of fantasy locations, and then in the end there is a twist and he either has to save the world or gets outwitted by the surviving member of the group.
That's TOTALLY Pratchett isn't it? Even the title. Bugger. I thought I had come up with that by myself. xD
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 5, 2014 19:37:46 GMT 1
It's fine dude, hell we need more authors like Terry so go ahead with the plan!
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 5, 2014 19:53:30 GMT 1
Buggering hell. I am a Tery Pratchett rip-off!
Well like you say, if you're going to rip anybody off it might as well be him.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Apr 5, 2014 21:13:22 GMT 1
Might as well throw in a reference to a turtle holding a continent on his shell.
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Post by Mister Buch on Apr 5, 2014 22:41:11 GMT 1
I don't want this to actually be set on the discworld, but yes I will have to put some sort of little acknowledgement in there ---- just so it's less rip-off and more homage. hahaha
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