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Post by spiritwolf71 on Sept 15, 2012 2:40:21 GMT 1
Feel free to comment or complain or just to tell me I suck..
Sorry about the gramar and spelling, I had a beta who never bothered getting back to me and from what I understand most have good intentions when volunteering but that about it. Have no one at home who cares to read my writing so it is what it is.
BUt yeah feel free to complain about it if you wish
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Sept 15, 2012 3:35:29 GMT 1
I just finished reading the story you posted, and I like it a lot. It is nice to see a Liara / Female-Shepard story that properly conveys the grief and loss Liara would feel after losing Shepard. The only issue I could find was a few spelling and grammatical issues, but aside from that the story is amazing and I can't wait to read more. I am sorry you've been burned by beta experiences before; I realize you may be leery of beta offers, but... I am rather good at editing and spelling / grammar details (I usually don't feel I have much talent for anything else, but that is the one thing I will say I am very good at), and I would be willing to help if you'd like. No pressure, of course, just tossing it out there for you. I am excited to see where this story goes, though; I always did like Liara as a character... and I absolutely love the image of Garrus and Tali as parents! That's an adorable thought, Garrus as a Dad... I'd like to see how that plays out in your story... Keep up the good writing!
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Post by spiritwolf71 on Sept 15, 2012 11:56:38 GMT 1
I would love to have a beta and If you want I would greatly appreciate it, and I actually have a lot done on this story so will be posting pretty much every day or two. Thanks you for the kind review. I love quite a few of the relationships in Mass Effect but Liara is about me favorite. (Yes IM one of the few that Love Sam as well)
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Sept 15, 2012 12:14:39 GMT 1
I liked Samantha as well; in fact, I felt hideously guilty (at first) about accidentally cheating on Garrus (who was my LI from ME2) with Samantha Traynor in ME3, until the end when she was telling my Shepard about her dreams of a house with a white picket fence and the kids and I just fell in love with her then... (sorry Linders, you know it only applies in game... ;D)
As for the Beta-ing, if you'd like me to Beta, I'm not sure if you'd prefer to send me your chapters through Private Message before posting, or if you'd like me to just send you a beta'd PM of the posted chapters - just let me know which you'd prefer. I will say, though, it might take me more than a day to finish running through a chapter, but I will always do my best to get it done as fast as possible.
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Post by spiritwolf71 on Sept 15, 2012 12:34:32 GMT 1
I could send them to you the day before I post them. I just find cutting and pasting them on this forum a bit of the pain since the spacing is not the same as word.
I only cheated after ME1 if I had choosen Kaiden as a LI cause I really did not like Kaiden, his voice reminded me of Casey Kassem and it drove me insane, plud I hated the fact that both Kaiden and Ashley doubted Shepard after all she did and was never able to forgive them.
Saying that I have done a million playthroughs of all games and have done all the romances available to fem shep except thane cause I never really got into him. And although Liara is my favorite LI, the Garrus romance was absolutely amazing
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Sept 15, 2012 12:44:16 GMT 1
I only completed one full run through; I am now starting a second run through of Mass Effect 1, and I'm not sure yet who I'll go with - I might try to stay loyal to Garrus (because you're right, his romance storyline is amazing), but... it might be difficult when Samantha comes in and starts being all cute again... lol
As for the Beta-ing, I could start in on the ones you already posted tonight if you'd like, I am rather busy today all day at a thing going on at my mother's house, but I will be availiable tonight to do a read-through... and as for the cutting and pasting, if you send me the chapters through PM, and I beta them through PM, they'll be formatted the right way to be posted through the story thread... so that might work.
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Post by spiritwolf71 on Sept 15, 2012 12:58:44 GMT 1
Sounds great and thank you... Ill send you chapter 3 as well and whenever you get to it is fine...
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Post by spiritwolf71 on Sept 16, 2012 13:57:59 GMT 1
Wow this is a tuff crowd....
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Sept 16, 2012 14:15:20 GMT 1
Well, I must say, I really like where you're taking the story. I loved the interaction between Liara and Garrus at the carnival, and I nearly wept at Liara's memory of her talk with Shepard about the bamboo house... it was very touching.
I really do think you have an amazing grasp on the emotions of the characters, and I really like the description of Garrus and Tali's family... it's really very charming.
Keep up the great writing!
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Post by spiritwolf71 on Sept 16, 2012 15:31:53 GMT 1
Thank you for the kind words.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Sept 25, 2012 13:45:05 GMT 1
I know I haven't reviewed in a while; sorry about that...
I must say, I do love the story - it's a unique perspective, the idea of what would happen if Shepard was not really dead after the events of ME3... and I love that you've written a story that does make sense of how the galaxy survived the destruction at the end of ME3, and how the characters have moved on with their lives, but Liara is still holding on to Shepard's memory (and eventually Shepard herself). I love how Liara does not give up - she is determined to have Her Shepard back - but maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic? ;D
Keep up the good work!
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Post by spiritwolf71 on Sept 25, 2012 16:23:41 GMT 1
Thanks Lily, I'm glad someone is enoying it.
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Post by jklinders on Oct 2, 2012 17:24:09 GMT 1
It takes me a bit to try to get into a fic sometimes. I got as far as chapter 3 and I like it so far.
You seem to have a good handle on Garrus and Liara's character and I could see them interacting and speaking the way you wrote them.
With Kai Leng alive it's pretty clear we have an AU fic but if it involves him being made into a butt monkey I'm somehow OK with that.
I'll catch up eventually. Maybe later this week after some personal garbage is cleared up.
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Post by spiritwolf71 on Oct 2, 2012 19:16:28 GMT 1
Funny you should say that cause in all of my play throughs in Mass Effect 3, Kai Leng is alive after that fight, you can see him struggling to move. I've had this discussion before and people have said that he didn't move at all on their play through but he did on mine, almost stood up actually.
Thanks for the review.
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Post by jklinders on Oct 2, 2012 19:25:56 GMT 1
Add me to the list that never saw him move. Maybe it was some decision made through the game? Hell in my game there should have been a crater in between his eyes from an M-98 Widow shot. Stupid plot armour...
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