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Post by Mister Buch on Oct 21, 2011 13:30:43 GMT 1
If you want to see ol' Nick Cage be cast in a movie that he's totally wrong for, there's "Season of the Witch". There aren't any moments that cause unintentional hilarity like "THE BEES!" but it's still a bad movie that... isn't all that scary. I'm still surprised that it hasn't aired on Sci Fi yet. I saw that one a month or so ago, actually! I thought it was...... poor but fun enough. Kind of dull. I did love the two badass, 50-year-old American knights in the crusades at the beginning. Hmm. I can't recommend "Cloverfield" because that movie has nothing to redeem it whatsoever. Now THAT'S a good idea - I've never seen Cloverfield! I know Knightfall loves that movie, and he and very frequently disagree about films... so I should check that one out if I want an argument. "Manos: the Hands of Fate". Might have already seen that one, Yep! The Master... will not app...rove! I love Manos. Now there's a horrible movie. Not THE worst if you ask me (for my money the worst horror movie, if not the worst movie, is Whatever Happened to Alice?) "The Crime of Dr. Crespi" is a 1930s piece where a mad doctor wants to bury a rival alive. Why? Does it really matter? "Alias John Preston" is from... the 1950s, I think. It's a "Jekyll and Hyde" type of story, but it doesn't start off that way. I *think* the next one is called "The Uninvited". I remember reading on the case that it came out in 1929, but IMDB says it came out in 1944 (or at least the only other movie by that name that shows up did- not including the crappy Emily Browning flick from two years ago). My mom gave me a VHS copy of the film years ago and said it was one of her personal favorites. It's not quite "horror", just a ghost story, but the effects hold up quite well considering the movie's age. If you want bad 70s horror film badness, there's always "Werewolf Vs. the Vampire Woman". I haven't seen... or even heard of any of these! But I will see which ones I can see! I think I may have seen enough lousy ones this year, so I'll probably give the Vampire Women a miss. ;D
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Oct 21, 2011 23:30:59 GMT 1
I heard Paranormal Activity 3 is awesome.
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Post by Knightfall on Oct 22, 2011 0:01:44 GMT 1
Now THAT'S a good idea - I've never seen Cloverfield! I know Knightfall loves that movie, and he and very frequently disagree about films... so I should check that one out if I want an argument. I reaaaally liked it. It's probably the most fun I've had watching a movie in theaters. Saw it three times in theaters, bought the DVD, and I have the movie poster on my wall. I realize that it doesn't have much depth beyond the concept/filming method, but I got a kick out of it. Fairly creepy at times, too. I'd recommend it for your list, but it's not super scary.
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Oct 22, 2011 23:57:09 GMT 1
It's Godzilla meets Blair Witch. I liked it as well, saw it on dvd and own a copy.
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Post by Mister Buch on Oct 23, 2011 0:21:51 GMT 1
Okay, I've got a copy of Cloverfield on its way to me now. I generally don't care for monster movies, unless the monster is scary (Jaws) or beautiful (Jurassic Park) or ridiculous (Giant Claw?). I'm guessing this won't be my kind of movie, but I hope I'm wrong. Plus it is a big deal film and as such it belongs on my Halloween Education list. As for BC's recommendations.... I THINK I've found 'The Uninvited' and so I'll be watching that ASAP. ... Now. 18. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)Just like how I had to watch four Mummy films before I saw a proper mummy, I was really surprised that neither this movie nor its predecessor features a large, creepy guy in a hockey mask with a machete. At least Jason Voorhese is in this one (wearing a plaid shirt and a flour sack that has been taped to his face) and he kills a whole lot of camp counsellors. This one, compared to the original, is fun, and that's why I prefer it. The first one takes forever to get going but delivers a killer (albeit hard to believe) ending. This one starts off great (with an exploding title screen no less! The words 'Friday the 13th' explode! That was my favourite bit) and then gets by on amusing jump-scares, an improved cast of victims and (as before) shots of girls' bums in underwear. Also this one has nipples. The killings are fun, the tension is actually very good - I really jumped several times. This is no masterpiece, and not at all original, but it seems to be a nice mix of the original movie's intentions and the sequels' lovable sillyness. Three and a half exploding titles out of five.
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Post by Mister Buch on Oct 28, 2011 15:17:10 GMT 1
He's back with more reviews! After this, I have only two more to watch. This has been the biggest October of movies so far for me. Next year I'll try to do less. But! 19. The Uninvited (1944)On Battlechantress' recommendation (we think this is the right movie anyway) I found this one on YouTube again. YouTube really have saved me some money this year. This is about a brother and sister with curious transatlantic accents who buy a house cheap in Cornwall, only to discover a ghost and a conspiracy. This one is odd because it seems like a comedy at times, and a horror/thriller at other times. But it suceeds in both ways, and I liked it a lot. The ghost/s? are creepy, there are some great twists and the final punchline is brilliant. Three and a half mothers-in-law out of five.20. Paranormal Activity (2007)I don't know how I managed to not watch this for so long, but I finally got around to it this week and saw it right after 'The Uninvited' for a haunted-house double-bill. This is the story of a dull and slightly irritating English student and her apparently-loaded boyfriend Micah, who spends the film putting in a very strong bid for 'worst boyfriend in the history of the world' award by happily ignoring everything she asks of him and then filming her reactions while asking for sex, even when doing so makes her cry / lose her mind / get posessed by a demon / kill him. I like camcorder-horrors very much and I was really looking forward to this one because of all the hype and success. Maybe because I had built it up for so long, I was really disappointed here. I was only scared a couple of times and the payoff afterwards was usually pretty stupid. I didn't like the characters at all, so it was hard to care about them. And despite the camera, it all just came across as obviously-fake to me. It looked a lot like a movie. I never felt like it was real. Also Micah kept mis-pronouncing the word 'Quija'. But... there were some clever ways of building tension and a few interesting twists on the 'haunted house' genre. Overall, very surprised at this one. Two and a half weejee boards out of five.21. Cloverfield (2008)Here is another camcorder-movie, and one which gave me the exact opposite reaction as Paranormal Activity. I was expecting to hate this (mostly because I find straight-up monsters pretty borning and also because Knightfall likes it) but I actually loved it. The plot is almost nothing - the dark god Cthulu starts smashing up New York City and five youngsters run away from it while trying to find a missing ex-girlfriend. Sounds simple, but this movie is actually very unique in a lot of ways. The acting is good, the script and camerawork are compeltely believable and un-movie-like, and it seems to really capture the feeling of blind-panic and genuine horror in the face of disaster. Without the monster (which you barely see until the end) this would be an excellent natural-disaster or war movie. And with the monster (which looks a lot like Ray Harryhausen's Kraken, actually) it's slightly less dramatic but more fun. Also there are little references to the Godzilla series, including a superb facsimile of its theme song over the credits. This kind of nudge-wink source acknowledgement wins easy points from me! I would assume this movie is in a sense a response to the September 11th attacks, which in an odd way just makes it all the more like the first Godzilla film (which I saw earlier this season): a similar technique, again done very well. Both movies really capture real human terror and grief and successfully replace the object of those emotions with a big sea monster. Four flaming homeless guys out of five.22. Scream (1996)This is the reason I do this Halloween-horror-movie thing: there are so many huge movies that I just never watched. In this case I had even seen Scary Movie 1 and 3 (horrendous and slightly less so, respectively), but not the original. Actually, seeing this in many ways makes Scary Movie even more awful. God damn, I hate that film. Anyway, turns out Scream is actually superb. It seems to be a very blunt and conscious mixture of Clerks and Halloween (these two movies are referenced repeatedly) that aims to spoof bad slasher movies and honour the good ones. Luckily, both the director and writer seem to really care about this goal, and the result seems to be neither scary nor particularly funny, but still very good! If that makes sense. To criticise, I'd say that it is too heavy handed (the idea that all of these teenage characters are fanatical experts in horror-movie trivia is a little hard to swallow...) but I didn't see the twists coming and I loved its open, satirical edge. Great movie, great characters, really great idea. Loved this. Also, I love Fonzie. Four Fonzies out of five.
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Post by Mister Buch on Oct 31, 2011 0:56:45 GMT 1
The penultimate review/s of the year... 23. Ring (1998)This is the Japanese one, not the American remake. I thought the original version would probably be better. I had actually built this one up for a long time - ever since my Halloween horror education began in fact. I always used to say, 'You know, I've never even seen The Ring! That's how few horror films I've seen.' And so, after years of build-up, a deliberate order of a copied DVD that comes with no box (for extra creepiness) and a month MORE waiting........ ... it didn't scare me at all. Not once. I thought it was a fantastic film, with a neat story, good acting, very competent filming and cool music, and (crucuially) a brilliant ending. But. Not scared. Not for a second. What a shame. I was hoping this would be the big, terrifying finale to my Halloween 2011 season. No. Honestly I haven't been horrified by any of the movies this year. A lot of them realy impressed and surprised me, mind you ( Cloverfield, Phantom of the Opera, Scream, Godzilla, The Birds, American Werewolf) and I guess that last one really was something truly special. And I haven't seen any rubbish all month, but... ...man, I wanted a really scary one. Paranormal Activity let me down big time. And the Ring, too? Maybe I'm just finally so desenitised that nothing can scare me. I am the man without fear. But still. Et tu, Ring? Maaaaaan. Nine plates out of ten.I also ought to review this, because I got a big laugh (and a little scare) out of it (and because I have one left and I'd like to have done 25 movies rather than 24)... 24. The 'Watch Sadako's Video' featurette from my copy of 'Ring' on DVD (1998)On the 'special features' of the DVD for Ring is a clever idea - watch the cursed video! See if your phone rings after. Then wait for seven days and be near a TV, and if possible say 'Bloody Mary' and 'Candyman' (and 'Beetlejuice') into a mirror three times. Honestly, I think this is a neat idea. I'm glad the DVD producers went to the trouble of including it and broadening the movie experience, using the film's obvious and deliberate potential to make a new urban legend out of a movie based around old ones. Good idea. This alone wouldn't warrant it a seperate mention on my list, but check out the very official-looking disclaimer that runs before the famous video: YES. Now that's what I call the spirit of Halloween and that's what I call a DVD designer guy with a sense of humour. 'Psychological harm'? 'Damage to DVD players'? 'Fatalities'! Best bonus feature ever. I suppose I ought to link to a copy of the video itself so you all can see... but that might continue Sadako's curse and thus free me from it. And frankly, I'm looking forward to having her crawl out of my laptop at midnight November 6th just so I can tell her how un-scary and disappointing she is, right to her face. Ooooh, I have no fingernails and I walk funny... oooooh be scared. So does my alcoholic great-uncle Jeff. Five 'resulting occurrences' out of five.One last missed Halloween classic this year.
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Post by jklinders on Oct 31, 2011 3:18:40 GMT 1
Nice knowing ya Buch. Hope you don't scream too much as she drags you to hell.
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Post by Mister Buch on Nov 1, 2011 0:50:47 GMT 1
I feel like I could take her on. Plus, my laptop is on the edge of a high desk, so that ought to be funny to see. Anyway the final missed horror classic in this year's thingy is... ---------- 25. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)It's a strange thing about Charles Schultz and Peanuts. Tell me if I'm wrong, UK members, but I'm pretty sure Peanuts just doesn't exist in my country, and yet it seems to be a massive deal in the USA. I see a lot of references to it in movies and so on, and I distinctly remember an episode of Buffy where Xander and Willow make a point of watching the Christmas special every year - so clearly it's a big deal. So I looked online - nothing. Looked on Amazon - nothing. Eventually I paid an extraordinary amount of money to get a copy of The Great Pumpkin shipped from Germany (wierdly, the box is German, the menus are in French and the audio is the original American). This has been an expensive October for me, and this one did not help. So I saved it for last. And it was absolutely lovely. They're really charming - I love the voices and the music especially. There's something really likeable and honest about this, as well as funny. Five rocks out of five. -- And that's the end of Halloween for another year! Honestly I can only think of a handful more movies I ought to watch, so next year's movie marathon will probably be much smaller than this and will very likely be the last one. If you have any suggestions for classics I ought to see, now or any time, please let me know!And seriously, I wasn't scared once! I wonder if I have changed, or if I was just unlucky with my choices this year? Either way, it's a little bit sad. I feel like I waited all night for the great pumpkin and all I got was 25 beagles. I demand restitution. But. What I did get this year was some excellent films, some more knowledge, and a good night with a bizarre Rocky Horror / Charlie Brown double feature. Thanks very much if you read these. I don't know why I feel the need to write this stuff down every year, but I appreciate your caring! And now the Halloween Education Programme must return... to the grave! etc.
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Post by Knightfall on Nov 1, 2011 1:30:00 GMT 1
Either way, it's a little bit sad. I feel like I waited all night for the great pumpkin and all I got was 25 beagles. I got a rock. =(
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Post by Battlechantress on Nov 1, 2011 20:58:03 GMT 1
I got dismembered toy innards all over the living room. The timing was certainly appropriate.
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Post by Mister Buch on Nov 2, 2011 14:49:14 GMT 1
Very seasonal.
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Post by Mister Buch on Nov 2, 2011 16:08:51 GMT 1
By the way, this really makes-up for the fright-less disappointment of Paranormal Activity.
"We haven't had anything interesting happen in a while!"
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