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Post by Battlechantress on Oct 22, 2010 3:42:25 GMT 1
I had to go to the Dollar General store today because I needed more Theraflu and didn't feel like driving very far (for those not in the know, Dollar General is a store that makes Wal-Mart seem upscale). They had a contest where you could win a million bucks or have it given away by Gretchen Wilson (country "singer"). No I couldn't be arsed to read the rules, I didn't care. But as I was checking out I saw this:
"Gretchen Wilson, proud GED graduate!"
Are you shitting me? Is our school system so frigging bad that we now congratulate teenagers on being high school dropouts? Wow. (For the non-US readers, GEDs are what high school dropouts take-- sometimes-- to make up for not getting high school diplomas.)
And on a vastly unrelated note, I saw that a horse trainer is no longer riding horses. That's not unusual. But the guy has decided to "teach horses Latin".
/pauses
I... don't frigging get that either. Does he really expect them to talk back just because he stopped using English?
Edit: I'll try posting the link later. I can't remember where it was right now. But it's definitely out there.
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Post by Clint Johnston on Oct 22, 2010 15:13:21 GMT 1
If it works, he'll be hailed as a genius...
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Post by jklinders on Oct 24, 2010 15:22:10 GMT 1
I haven't gotten one of these at work yet. It's only a matter of time though. Not looking forward to it, not looking forward to it at all... The excerpt is courtesy of www.notalwaysright.comIn CyberSpace, No One Can Hear You Scream Tech Support | Oshawa, ON, Canada Me: “Thank you for calling [internet company], you have reached [name]. How can I help?” Customer: “The internet isn’t working again!” Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that, how long has it not been working?” Customer: “Since all the weird lights last night!” Me: “Oh okay, well what are the lights on the modem doming now?” Customer: “How am I supposed to know, its covered in tinfoil!” Me: “Ma’am that a terrible fire hazard! You need to unwrap that now!” Customer: “Absolutely not! Its the only way to keep the aliens out! I would rather burn the house down than allow them into my computer!” Me: “I’m sorry…aliens?” Customer: “Yes, aliens! And those weird lights outside, I told you! That’s why it’s not working!” (I hear her handling aluminum foil and a dog barking in the background.) Customer: “So are you going to get me a new modem or not?” Me: “Certainly, just a moment.” Customer: “That’s what I thought! Now hurry up! I need to go rewrap the dog!” Mute button would be used if that was me. Whether I would be laughing or crying would depend greatly on my mood and the other customers I had that day...
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Post by Battlechantress on Jan 5, 2011 5:15:00 GMT 1
This came from a horse board. nightrider wrote:
"My neighbors (now moved out) were chicken fighters. After I managed to run them off their property by calling Animal Control numerous times, they left most of their chickens behind. On a cold November day just before Thanksgiving I called Dept of Ag to tell them there were starving, freezing, sick and dying chickens at this abandoned property. This was when Avian Influenza was in full outbreak, and us veterinarians had recieved a Dept of Ag letter telling us we were the “frontline in homeland security” and to report any “suspicious avian behavior” immediately. (Still not sure what suspicious avian behavior is, but it conjures great images). Anyway, I told DoA I was being a good citizen, that I had suspiciously behaving avians in my front yard, and they needed to come out right away. They arrived 5 days later. Needed me to direct them to find the dead chickens (which were in a pile right next to the garage). When I pointed out a dying chicken and suggested they take it into their lab and run tests, they asked “Hmm, what tests should we run?” Then they suggested I just set the chicken on the porch so the residents would find it when they came home (did I mention the house had been abandoned for weeks?). Your tax dollars at work."
No, she doesn't live in my state (much to my shock and amazement).
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Post by Clint Johnston on Jan 5, 2011 15:46:53 GMT 1
Wow... New heights of idiocy.
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Post by Battlechantress on Jan 6, 2011 18:43:01 GMT 1
From Craigslist (and yes, the first line is the actual title of the ad!):
A horse isn’t a good Xmas Present – $700 (Lyte/LaCoaste) Date: 2010-12-30, 10:08AM CST Reply to: (removed) Ok so a horse isn’t the best Xmas Present for 4 little girls so we are now selling this 3 yr old registered Thoroughbred Gelding. He is broke and has coggins paperwork. Also his registration paper work goes with him. I’ll also through in the halter and lead rope. I don’t have any other tack because I just borrowed it. The kids refuse to ride it cause he is so tall. I paid $900 for him 2 weeks ago I would really like to get rid of him quick so I am willing to take a loss. please call XXX-XXX-XXXX (no endless emails)
(Pic removed, site is down.)
Same person, different ad (same horse):
Other ad, posted December 31: 3yr old Bay Gelding for sale. He is broke and does ride he is shoed need to sell quickly. $700 OBO. I know nothing about horses, don’t ask No I can NOT Deliver I have no trailer
And then there's this. Yes, it's the same guy.
"Have you got a hog problem? I’m looking to fill my freezer with meat. I am not a trophy hunter I’m just trying to feed my kids. Please call (number removed)"
Now for my commentary. Yeah, that's a picket fence surrounding what is likely an ex- racehorse. Yes, they are using a kiddie pool as a water trough (one hoof through that and...). If the guy can't afford to feed his kids, then WTF is he doing buying a large animal that he admits he knows nothing about?!
And the price he's selling the horse for means that it's all too likely the poor thing could end up on a slaughter truck to Mexico. Happy new year!
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Post by Clint Johnston on Jan 7, 2011 5:09:09 GMT 1
I would doubt the veracity of the "feed my kids" line.
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Post by Battlechantress on Jan 7, 2011 6:22:31 GMT 1
Volunteering for a horse rescue for as long as I have in what can politely be called a redneck state, I honestly wouldn't be surprised either way anymore.
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Post by Battlechantress on Jan 20, 2011 18:49:35 GMT 1
Here's something to make me feel absolutely brilliant today: There's a news report out about a woman who is suing a mall because they didn't help her after she fell into a fountain... while texting. I couldn't help but think of those ads for the new Microsoft smartphones when I heard about that. Edit: Found an article online about it.
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Post by ommadawn on Jan 20, 2011 23:36:14 GMT 1
God bless America!
<gdr>
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Post by Tillian Panthesis on Jan 28, 2011 13:25:52 GMT 1
Well, the ad for the smartphones are a lie after all. It didn't make the user smart, judging by the lady in the fountain.
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Post by jklinders on Jan 28, 2011 15:27:31 GMT 1
Well, the ad for the smartphones are a lie after all. It didn't make the user smart, judging by the lady in the fountain. The phone is quite smart, that's not the lie. I don't recall any ad campaign saying that smartphones make their users smart. If anything our tech is starting to get smarter than the average end user. Fortunately we are not quite smart enough to create our very own Skynet quite yet.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jan 29, 2011 0:27:10 GMT 1
I always imagined it was called 'Skynet' because Rupert Murdoch bought it up shortly before it killed us all.
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Post by Tillian Panthesis on Jan 29, 2011 3:18:07 GMT 1
True, phones are getting smarter. The user unfortunately does not judging by the article.
Still if humanity keep this up, we'll be dealing with an AI vs Human civil war in a distance future, especially when creating robots that has better intelligence than us... and some idiot decided to throw an arrogant personality algorithm into the mix as well.
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Post by Battlechantress on Feb 3, 2011 17:18:15 GMT 1
Please tell me she can't breed: Stupid, stupid womanHere are some quotes from her Facebook page: “Yes I would especially a Italian man that is hard to find in mpls,mn and Jews that is hard to find in mpls,mn help me find a nice white TTY with phat pockets and love to spoil there girlfriend lost without a man in mpls,mn” “How I can’t get sex don’t no man want me I have bad luck with men why is that find me a superman of love who will fly high for my love I want more than just sushi I want Kobe” Ah, such a shining example of American public education! I think my head hurts.
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