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Post by Hodster on Jun 27, 2008 22:52:05 GMT 1
Damn I loved this! It just captured the mood of knowing that your going to die in a few minutes but there's nothing you can do about it and you keep on fighting till the end. This is also probally what Ashley was thinking about if she is left behind in the game. Now I feel alittle bad because on my last playthrough I left Ash behind Very good story tho!
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Post by Arcanite Watcher on Jun 28, 2008 3:15:49 GMT 1
I almost cried... that was beautifully done. I left kaiden the first time, and ash the second, but since i dont really like kaiden that much, i'm leaving him behind my third playthrough.
But seriously, great job on the story.
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Post by wrathofdagon on Jun 28, 2008 22:13:47 GMT 1
Yes, same here, the ending was very moving. Overall, very dramatic and a nice insight into Ashley's personality.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jun 28, 2008 22:53:21 GMT 1
You captured Ashley's personality very well and added flairs of your own which sat nicely. I particularly like how you hinted at her faith protecting and strengthening her without seeming patronising or at all corny. And as others said, you did a good job depicting soldier's mindset before death.
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Post by Rascarin on Jun 28, 2008 22:58:21 GMT 1
Thanks for the comments everyone! I just released the stupid word filter censored out loads of my stuff, making parts of it somewhat incoherent. I'll change that.
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Psi Syn
Serviceman 3rd Class
Posts: 4
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Post by Psi Syn on Jun 29, 2008 5:16:05 GMT 1
Very good work. I would love to see someone write the story for Kaiden. It sucked leaving him behind but reading this made me much happier to leave him than Ash... that and as an adept, she was a member of my squad and my romantic interest. Still, I liked this a lot.
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sabby87
Serviceman 3rd Class
Posts: 8
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Post by sabby87 on Jul 6, 2008 20:29:39 GMT 1
I liked this very much... it's perfectly in character and it's very moving. Good job
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Post by thalinbeneset on Jul 6, 2008 23:19:58 GMT 1
I mostly enjoy the ‘silly’ stories, but I actually enjoyed reading yours.
After talking to her a couple of times, Williams views on other species got her permanently kicked from my party, so I’m wondering if I missed out on some comments from her, that would somewhat change the way I feel about her.
She’s brave, she loves her family, and I don’t have a problem with her beliefs. But I find it really hard to overlook intolerance. In my book, that’s a major no-no…
After reading your story, I may actually cut her ‘some slack’, and let her tag a long a bit more in my next play through, but I don't know if i will ever actually like her.
In your story:
I felt sorry for her when her thoughts turned to her family.
I felt glad for her that she managed to find peace in the end.
Great Work.
thalinbeneset
PS: I was actually hoping for an option to leave Kaidan, Williams, Garrus (and Pressley) behind…maybe someone could make a mod?
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Post by Rascarin on Jul 6, 2008 23:27:58 GMT 1
Thanks for all the comments!
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Post by Zarsthor on Jun 30, 2009 3:18:49 GMT 1
That was so sad and warming at the same time. It ended on a peaceful note with a touch of defiance rather than an emo angst which really surprised me. I always kind of looked at Ashley as the type to go emo on you at the last minute with some racism but I like your version better. Great piece!
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Feb 8, 2013 0:28:09 GMT 1
Oh wow - this was an amazing story...
I know it's been a few years since you posted this story, but I found it when I was hunting for fics on the Fanfiction Section... and this story made me have tears running down my face. Ash is one of my favorite characters, and to read her final moments like that was heartbreaking... and amazingly written.
I think I need to hunt for more stories you (hopefully) posted... ;D
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Post by Rascarin on Jan 20, 2014 17:53:06 GMT 1
.... Only just saw this review! Thank Lily. I haven't written that much, just this one and a parody fic called "Gas Effect", but I am considering writing my own Mass Effect 3 piece, if I ever get the time.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Jan 21, 2014 0:09:41 GMT 1
.... Only just saw this review! Thank Lily. I haven't written that much, just this one and a parody fic called "Gas Effect", but I am considering writing my own Mass Effect 3 piece, if I ever get the time. Please do... if you have the time... I loved the way this one was written, and when I find stories that get to me like that, I tend to want to read more by the same author... a lot more...
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Post by Mister Buch on Jan 22, 2014 9:47:05 GMT 1
You really should write more!
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Post by Rascarin on Jan 22, 2014 15:36:32 GMT 1
I'm torn between doing a whole long piece (which I probably won't finish, knowing me) and writing my own theory for the ending, or doing another short but emotional one-shot. My biggest issue is finding the time to write; I can't really get anything done at work.
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