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Post by peppadew on Jan 1, 2015 19:41:56 GMT 1
This review thread is for my fanfiction Verity located here: Verity Story Thread
My forum introduction thread is located here: Introduction Thread
Some little "Author's Note" tidbits:
I use the word "Frak" as a replacement for the F-word. This comes from Battlestar Galatica. So say we all!
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Post by peppadew on Jan 1, 2015 20:35:36 GMT 1
I thought it might be interesting to add a little "behind the scenes" author reflections, just to share some things I struggled with during the planning and writing process.
Chapter 1 -
I'm not sure anyone actually likes Udina from the game (haha!) He comes across as a jerk, and if you play Renegade Shepard, you really see the "Council is anti-human" side of things. I went with this version of Udina to kick things off. Gave him a bit of a temper, busybody personality.
Instead of Commander Shepard being already on the Normandy and about to learn of the beacon on Eden Prime from Nihlus and Captain Anderson, I decided to put Shepard in a different location with more practical knowledge of the political scene and Protheans (so she doesn't sound like a noob - after all, Chief Gunnery Officer Ashley Williams seemed to know more than her), and all that good stuff.
I'm taking artistic license to change minor details as well (like Udina's eye color). I'm not sure why I'm pointing this out. I'm not sure if there are canon purists out there, haha!
I debated whether to use 3rd person POV (in order to incorporate more varied character viewpoints) or 1st person POV alone. I personally prefer writing and reading 1st person, but it can be understandably difficult. For example, a lot of scenes happen without Shepard witnessing it (like Saren killing Nihlus on Eden Prime). I'll rearrange some events, try to work with it how I can, but I'm pretty sure I'll stick with 1st Person view despite the difficulties. But it's not necessarily set in stone. One of my favorite authors Diana Gabaldon writes her books in an interesting way: the "main character" is 1st POV, but later in the series, she adds other important characters, all in 3rd POV. So I guess mixing things up can really work, as strange as it seemed when I first encountered it. I just can't let go of the "personal" feel to 1st Person POV.
And, lastly, the Thane Krios thing... He was my favorite romance to play in the game, and I wanted to breathe more life/time into this so I decided: why not add him to the events of ME1? Hence, this fanfic was born... I'm not yet up to the chapters where he comes in, but I can't wait to get to them. Right now, I'm trying to just set the stage, get some things moving. Garrus snuck in there when I was figuring out how to make Shepard's current life on the Citadel (pre-Eden Prime) a little bit interesting.
Oh, and why Dr. Saleon? Part of including Garrus... and because the black market body part thing was really disturbing! And I found a way to incorporate this little adventure into major plot lines that occur once Shepard returns to the Citadel during the "Expose Saren" mission.
Edit: Decided to shorten title from "Verity Vice" to just "Verity"... Vice was supposed to be a foil of Verity (meaning truth), but as my Shepard's first name is Verity, I decided that would suffice.
Oh, and yes, the mighty Commander Shepard is freaked out by creepy insect-like keepers. Hey, Indian Jones was deathly afraid of snakes!
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 1, 2015 20:35:56 GMT 1
BSG was the shit back in the day, good choice!
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Post by peppadew on Jan 1, 2015 20:38:37 GMT 1
BSG was the shit back in the day, good choice! I agree 100 percent! *Love* that series to death. I just finished rewatching it recently, and I was thinking of some connections I could make with the Mass Effect universe, mostly with the idea of artificial intelligence! It's exciting stuff!
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Post by peppadew on Jan 6, 2015 1:34:45 GMT 1
I’ve cleaned up Chapter 1 a bit: clarified the ‘omg we’re sharing the beacon’ and ‘omg Udina’s such a jerk’ (lol) passages so it floooows a bit better logically (at least in my mind. Ba haha ha!)
I also added a little Author’s Note to the end of Chapter 1 on FFnet. I labeled this as a Thane Krios fanfic, but the legendary assassin won’t make an appearance until I’m a few chapters in. I have to dangle a bone for my weary readers!
Presently, I’m barreling into Chapter 2. I'm writing specific scenes, hoping it fits into one chapter, but it might be stretched into two depending how far I get carried away description-wise. I know it’s a fanfic, and you go in expecting your reader to know a bit about the ME universe, but I’ve decided to write as if the reader has no frakkin’ clue (hence lots of descriptions) for practice, practice, practice (as if I’m writing a real novel. AHH!).
And some advice on writer’s block (that I tell myself all the time): turn it off. Your phone. The internet. Everything. Lock yourself in a room with no distractions. If you have to get up, leave mid-sentence, so that when you come back, you launch off of it like a diving board. I like rereading “finished” drafts of prior material, and sorting through snippets of words/sentences floating around at the end of my document until I find a home for them, or erase them for eternity. I say “finished” because it’s important to be flexible, to remind yourself nothing is set in stone. Don’t be afraid to go back and rework prior chapters, or completely erase them, as hard as that may be. Saying you have writer’s block is often just denial. Do what has to be done. Your writing will be better in the end if you follow your instincts, and not suppress them for pain of having to start over.
(Every time I sit down to write, I make a copy of the Word document, so nothing is ever actually erased. I can go back to it if I need to, but just erasing things to clear it out of the way and make room for new directions/ideas is helpful).
Also, don’t be afraid to let your writing “take over” or go places you didn’t originally forsee (or even want). Just writing brings out many ideas. Try to look them over when they come, try to figure out how they were born. Maybe you’re closing plot holes you didn’t realize existed, or breathing life into a character you only saw in shadow (i.e., weren’t exactly sure who the heck they were).
Also, if you don’t get many reviews/ readers, realize that not everyone will like your story, but they can certainly still respect the hard work that went into it. Write for yourself first, your readers second, and learn from constructive criticism.
And don't try to write when your body needs rest. Exercise and eat for your body's energy and health.
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Post by peppadew on Jan 14, 2015 2:27:57 GMT 1
Made another quick revision to Chapter 1. It's amazing what things pop out at you when you let it sit for a while.
I'm still writing Chapter 2. About 40% or so done, I think.
I try to write a little bit every day.
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Post by peppadew on Jan 17, 2015 20:08:19 GMT 1
Hello again! I have updated Chapter 1. The revision is one I'm very happy I took time to do. I added explanations regarding her Spectre candidacy as a reason behind her working on the Citadel with C-Sec. At first I had planned to have this revealed (as if Shepard had no idea) when she finally meets up with Captain Anderson, but I decided the more logical scenario is if she already knows. With the extensive rewrite of Chapter 1, I'm still only about 50% or so through Chapter 2! Thanks for catching up on my fanfic. You can read the newest version on the FFnet website. I've decided not to copy it here since the forum does not bring over italics, making it extremely time-consuming. With how many times I revise, it's just not possible for me to want to do that.
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Post by peppadew on Jan 31, 2015 2:12:53 GMT 1
I've revised Chapter 1 again (01/30/15). I've been insanely busy at work (will be thru April 1) and grad school. I'm really looking forward to the end of May when I will have a lot of time to write again. At least a little time off from writing has brought perspective. I found some things I wanted to change with Chapter 1 (again, lol). I'm still no further in Chapter 2 (about 40%, I'd say). I'm finding the difficulty of these first chapters mainly because I'm not really moving forward too quickly. Trying to look back. The Dr. Saleon thing needs to be explained, her history on the Citadel, what she's been doing, her place, etc. Trying to move forward though so I can get to the whole reason/inspiration for writing. Thane.
P.S. Being extremely busy has made me very appreciate of time. Don't waste it!
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Post by Warhammer Gorvar on Jan 31, 2015 12:45:04 GMT 1
Being unemployed made me have a large amount of time! ... So I can read your stories! Yes.
Ok real talk, I took a moment to sit down and properly read your story. My thoughts. It is REALLY well written, you did a awesome job with the FFnet format. This is properly edited as well! I also like the thumbnail you used for this tale, it's really nice looking! I'm really anxious to see Thane enter the tale since he is the one who probably inspired you to write this. Feels will be had, i hope!
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