Post by salty on Jan 19, 2014 0:28:06 GMT 1
Thanks to Lily Ariel Black for editing
Low maturity
It Doesn't Work That Way
"What do you want, Jane?"
Liara's question still burned inside her head. She had not been able to answer though; she thought she had everything.
As she lay in bed after the nightmare woke her up, bringing her lover's question to mind, she leaned over and looked at Liara sleeping deeply, peacefully; expertly, Jane drew her arm out from under her lover, kissing Liara's shoulder softly as she left the bed, pulling the covers over her naked body.
The images came back before she could find a seat, tears streaming down her face; of all those she lost, the image of that one small child covered in flames tore at her soul.
Why do you haunt me?
"Why didn't I just grab him when I had the chance?" she moaned, covering her face with her hands as she slid down the wall.
===
Liara woke to a loud thump, reaching for Jane only to find the bed empty. She scrambled out of bed when she heard Jane's anguished cry ("why didn't I grab his hand when I had the chance?") and another thump, then deep, heart-wrenching crying.
Liara was about to run to her, to hold her and meld with her, when all of a sudden she remembered what the doctors had said - she must find her own way out, whatever it is that haunts her; she needs to do this herself. Hold her, console her, but you must not meld... worst case scenario is one - or both of you - die. Liara froze, unsure of what to do; then turning around, she ran back into their bedroom to grab her pillow and bedcover before running back to Jane.
"I asked you to take my hand... needed to get you somewhere safe... I turned back and you were gone... thought you had gone... if I'd stayed just a bit longer maybe I'd have seen you... I'm sorry if you came back and I was gone, I'm sorry I couldn't save you... I don't know if you know but I try to catch you when you run, reach my hand to to take hold of you but then I wake up... but when I do catch you I see us both burn... I wanted to save you... I failed you... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
Liara cradled Jane's head, lowering her down to the pillow, tears running down her face as she processed what she'd just heard; her Shepard - her commander, her lover, her bondmate - her wife - was suffering out loud, she could hear the anguish and remorse in her lover's words, and yet it was Liara herself crying, tears of shame and guilt from someone who believed they had failed; for all that her bondmate had achieved, there was still one soul she couldn't save.
"What do you want, Jane?"
That question again; more forceful, more overwhelming.
"Liara..."
"I'm here, Jane, it's ok... just rest, my love, I've got you... I'll protect you."
Jane spoke softly, almost as if she was unaware of Liara's presence.
"Liara's baby... I wanted to have Liara's baby... the one thing I wanted was to give birth to Liara's baby. I just wanted to feel... to feel him growing inside me, to feel him move, kick at his Dad's touch; the love he'd receive from her, I wanted to be a mother so Liara could be a Dad..."
"What do you want, Jane?"
"To be a mum to Liara's baby... but I can't... it just doesn't work that way..."
"Oh, Goddess..." Liara's heart sank at those words.
"It doesn't work that way."
Jane had wanted to have Liara's baby, to give Liara a son so Liara could be a Dad. Even for herself, Jane was only thinking of Liara.
"So why did you let me go?" the little boy appeared with a spectral image of Jane herself behind him, they both wanted an answer.
"Because I needed Liara in my life. I gave up everything, I handed myself over so I could be with Liara. I made the sacrifice to not have a baby so I could have my soulmate back; my life's worth nothing... I am nothing... without her."
"That's not the answer, is it? Or only part of why you let me go?"
"For me to have a baby I need a man to fertilize my eggs... I gave you up because Liara was the right choice, Liara was who I wanted... I live with that decision, that choice."
Liara looked down at her wife's pale face, tears still flowing; Liara felt her love for Jane Shepard grow even more, making a mental note to look up human beliefs regarding soulmates on the extranet the next chance she got.
Liara also knew that Shepard had laid to rest a decision that haunted her all these years after the Reaper War.
Jane watched as the image of herself and the boy faded; she smiled. "Not burning..." she whispered to herself as she slid into a deep sleep.
Liara heard those last words and saw a smile on her lover's face, the smile of someone who just won another battle. Jane Shepard had made all Liara's fantasies come true; had helped her to realise her dreams. Now, Liara wanted to make a dream come true for her love.
Low maturity
It Doesn't Work That Way
"What do you want, Jane?"
Liara's question still burned inside her head. She had not been able to answer though; she thought she had everything.
As she lay in bed after the nightmare woke her up, bringing her lover's question to mind, she leaned over and looked at Liara sleeping deeply, peacefully; expertly, Jane drew her arm out from under her lover, kissing Liara's shoulder softly as she left the bed, pulling the covers over her naked body.
The images came back before she could find a seat, tears streaming down her face; of all those she lost, the image of that one small child covered in flames tore at her soul.
Why do you haunt me?
"Why didn't I just grab him when I had the chance?" she moaned, covering her face with her hands as she slid down the wall.
===
Liara woke to a loud thump, reaching for Jane only to find the bed empty. She scrambled out of bed when she heard Jane's anguished cry ("why didn't I grab his hand when I had the chance?") and another thump, then deep, heart-wrenching crying.
Liara was about to run to her, to hold her and meld with her, when all of a sudden she remembered what the doctors had said - she must find her own way out, whatever it is that haunts her; she needs to do this herself. Hold her, console her, but you must not meld... worst case scenario is one - or both of you - die. Liara froze, unsure of what to do; then turning around, she ran back into their bedroom to grab her pillow and bedcover before running back to Jane.
"I asked you to take my hand... needed to get you somewhere safe... I turned back and you were gone... thought you had gone... if I'd stayed just a bit longer maybe I'd have seen you... I'm sorry if you came back and I was gone, I'm sorry I couldn't save you... I don't know if you know but I try to catch you when you run, reach my hand to to take hold of you but then I wake up... but when I do catch you I see us both burn... I wanted to save you... I failed you... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
Liara cradled Jane's head, lowering her down to the pillow, tears running down her face as she processed what she'd just heard; her Shepard - her commander, her lover, her bondmate - her wife - was suffering out loud, she could hear the anguish and remorse in her lover's words, and yet it was Liara herself crying, tears of shame and guilt from someone who believed they had failed; for all that her bondmate had achieved, there was still one soul she couldn't save.
"What do you want, Jane?"
That question again; more forceful, more overwhelming.
"Liara..."
"I'm here, Jane, it's ok... just rest, my love, I've got you... I'll protect you."
Jane spoke softly, almost as if she was unaware of Liara's presence.
"Liara's baby... I wanted to have Liara's baby... the one thing I wanted was to give birth to Liara's baby. I just wanted to feel... to feel him growing inside me, to feel him move, kick at his Dad's touch; the love he'd receive from her, I wanted to be a mother so Liara could be a Dad..."
"What do you want, Jane?"
"To be a mum to Liara's baby... but I can't... it just doesn't work that way..."
"Oh, Goddess..." Liara's heart sank at those words.
"It doesn't work that way."
Jane had wanted to have Liara's baby, to give Liara a son so Liara could be a Dad. Even for herself, Jane was only thinking of Liara.
"So why did you let me go?" the little boy appeared with a spectral image of Jane herself behind him, they both wanted an answer.
"Because I needed Liara in my life. I gave up everything, I handed myself over so I could be with Liara. I made the sacrifice to not have a baby so I could have my soulmate back; my life's worth nothing... I am nothing... without her."
"That's not the answer, is it? Or only part of why you let me go?"
"For me to have a baby I need a man to fertilize my eggs... I gave you up because Liara was the right choice, Liara was who I wanted... I live with that decision, that choice."
Liara looked down at her wife's pale face, tears still flowing; Liara felt her love for Jane Shepard grow even more, making a mental note to look up human beliefs regarding soulmates on the extranet the next chance she got.
Liara also knew that Shepard had laid to rest a decision that haunted her all these years after the Reaper War.
Jane watched as the image of herself and the boy faded; she smiled. "Not burning..." she whispered to herself as she slid into a deep sleep.
Liara heard those last words and saw a smile on her lover's face, the smile of someone who just won another battle. Jane Shepard had made all Liara's fantasies come true; had helped her to realise her dreams. Now, Liara wanted to make a dream come true for her love.