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Post by Clint Johnston on Jan 15, 2014 5:26:19 GMT 1
I try not to get involved with review threads, but I read your story and I just had to say something...
Why? It's all well and good to have Shepherd dreaming of the poor kid in bed with Liara, but the whole "Dads" thing was a bit weird. I couldn't understand an overall main point to the story.
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Post by salty on Jan 15, 2014 13:10:04 GMT 1
Having read other stories, Shepard had been portrayed as the "Dad" I wanted to try and show the motherly instincts and the turmoil she carried for making that choice, I'm not sure if I managed that. The child was used to bring up the choice of hers and saying goodbye to a possible child she may never have, not sure if that clears things or confuses things more.
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Post by salty on Jan 15, 2014 13:24:36 GMT 1
I would like to extend on that story, maybe I should have posted ideas rather than a story? Questioning if "Dad" was the right choice of word, Thank you for reading it and the feedback, plus sorry for the confusion
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Post by Mister Buch on Jan 25, 2014 20:29:26 GMT 1
Have to disagree with Clint there - I think the point of the story IS the fatherhood thing. Yes this is not something that's in the game, but that goes for the majority of fanfic. The story seemed clear to me - I suppose yes it is an odd subject. The spem-bit made me go 'whuh?' but just that bit.
I liked the two endings, incidentally. I think the second is my favourite - maybe just because the other is so sad. Well written all round, great sense of intimacy etween the two- felt very delicate, I liked the stuff about the dreams too.
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Post by salty on Jan 25, 2014 20:36:33 GMT 1
Thank you
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Jan 25, 2014 20:43:20 GMT 1
I liked the story a lot, because it was so emotional... I could not stop crying while I was reading it, but then, the topic is one that would generally break hearts...
I will say I got a good laugh out of Liara's memories of the funny parts of pregnancy - the memory of the shopkeeper calling a pregnant Shepard fat, for example... but then the memory of Shepard's emotions being volatile struck a chord with me, since I tend to cry easily sometimes and the bit about Liara finding Shepard crying over a cartoon cat reminded me of me somehow.
All in all, good story, and I liked the naming of the baby in the second ending - that was sweet.
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Jan 25, 2014 20:46:11 GMT 1
Have to disagree with Clint there - I think the point of the story IS the fatherhood thing. To be fair to Clint though, his review was posted before the second part involving Shepard's pregnancy... if I recall correctly, the second chapter after the ten year time-jump was posted after Clint reviewed the first part.
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Post by Mister Buch on Jan 25, 2014 20:47:59 GMT 1
Ahh I misunderstood again.
I'll be in the back if you need me.
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Post by salty on Jan 25, 2014 21:32:25 GMT 1
Isn't Aethetya? Liara's father tho? and given a choice to get Liara to speak with her? In honesty I couldn't of done it without Lil n Linders so a (BIG SHOUTY) for them
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Post by Lily Ariel Linders on Jan 26, 2014 0:28:42 GMT 1
In honesty I couldn't of done it without Lil n Linders so a (BIG SHOUTY) for them Thanks, Salty! We were glad to be able to help!
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