Okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I've prepared part five of my MST of
A Twisted Angel. Look out for more stupidity, more stupid bullshit, and more loss of sanity from just how freaking stupid everything gets.
Seriously, beware of this chapter...
----**----
Am I going to have to start coming up with creative ways to say no?
*does the disclaimer dance*
And here I thought we could go one chapter without adding something to the Ridiculous Superpower Count.
*please insert a panic button here*
"Uh, Dark, I'd like to see you in my quarters, apparently you nearly killed Dr. Chakwas for no reason." *shrugs*
Obviously, Dr. Chakwas has never seen a single fantasy movie in her life.
You know, Alex, you could've prevented this almost-fatal misunderstanding from ever happening in the first place
if you had just done this when she first expressed interest in studying Eco.
www.onlinecollegemoms.com/wp-content/uploads/obama-facepalm.jpg [/img]
Ack! Quick, someone find Tali, she's probably dying of quarian cholera or something!
Oh, okay, shes in there. Thank goodness! *phew*
I didn't know that a warship needed to be woken up first.
Re Chakwas. Hm¡K
I expected her first name to be more than two characters long¡K
And how the hell do you know that? You weren't conscious when you boarded, and she's been here the whole time according to Dr. Chakwas. I mean, it's not like you could possibly be talking about the entire time she's been on the Normandy, right?
Obviously, she saw it fit not to rush over to the bedside of the man who
saved her life the instant he woke up. There's gratitude for you, and from one of the biggest spiritual leaders into the entire galaxy, to boot.
Hey, hey, hey, Christmas hasn't come around
quite yet! I mean, don't you think it's a bit early to be giving yourself as a present right about now?
"Then why didn't you say something when I woke up, you damn bitch?"
I already told you, the anime convention is
that way.
Okay... apparently, the Normandy is doing a cattle run now...
...
This calls for epic cattle herding music!
You could also say that, you know, Saren doesn't actually know where the Conduit is yet. Because, you know, you're aware of the fact that he's looking for it.
That was Ash trying to provoke her? I'm sorry, but you're full of shit, Stu. That really
is a legitimate concern, and it's definitely a legitimate question to ask. Honestly, I'm surprised nobody else who twiddled their thumbs on the Normandy while Shepard and the crew were out saving the galaxy mentioned any concerns over this earlier.
Yeah, get some rest: maybe then, some
common sense will return to you.
Wait, wasn't this a Renegade Shepard we were throwing in here? If that's the case... Why?
Because, you know, she's in the custody of a Spectre because of the fact that she was working with a known traitor of the Council?
...
Oh my god.
This fic has done the impossible.
It has made me agree with the turian councilor.
Okay, so you just mocked the Council, boasted about abilities you yourself aren't even sure you have, insulted the Council, said you could kill
millions of people, specified that it would be on their home turf, and basically revealed yourself as having abilities that nobody else in the galaxy has that would open you up for study by the Citadel's top scientists.
I think you and I can agree that there's only one possible outcome of this situation.
See? There you go.
...
Are we
sure this dickweed is the good guy here? Because it's bad when what's apparently supposed to count as Council bashing actually makes them look
better.
Udina/Council Bashing Count: 4Never mind, of course, the fact that they may want to
interrogate her about Saren or anything.
So you couldn't just create a port observation room? You know, because you already have a space that doesn't exist on the Normandy SR-1 and all?
"Your Stu-ness is too much!"
Wait, so you like the culture, but not the food? I think you'll forgive me if I sense a massive disconnect there...
"Now I can laugh behind your back whenever you go off to do something with someone else."
I think that if idiot was a word in the dictionary, your face would appear as a definition for calling a planet a mission.
Why?
...
Finally! This Stu engages in a conversation that doesn't make me want to rip his eyes out with my bare hands! Finally!
Now, let's watch as the Stu becomes unlikeable again.
Indeed, indeed.
... You know, you ripped game dialogue for every other situation, would it have killed you to at least
try to make this dialogue more similar to how it shows up in the game?
This suggestion has been approved by
Pierre Schaeffer.
"I haven't known you very long and I've only ever seen you act like a dickweed, but I have to trust you anyway."
Wait... so you used an Eco ability to clear indoctrination, a psychological phenomenon, from her body, and you're going to use that same body to fix a biological phenomenon?
Well... I guess the 'logical' part of 'psychological' and 'biological' is there for kicks, then.
Plot Hole Count: 5Except that you already talked about that being an issue, and you said you were going to think about it.
Egregious Plot Inconsistency Count: 5Have a pray...? Oh, God, don't tell me...
...
Because, as we all know, the best solution to a known medical problem is to say a
PRAYER for them and hope that it'll go away.
Oh wait...*cue the shuffling of feet*
"Excellent, now my evil plan is almost come to fruition! And you will bow to my feet for being so gullible!"
What? It would make just about as much sense given how much of a jackass this Stu is at the moment.
Is it a bad thing that I have no problem with this logic?
Wait, what? How'd you get to Therum from Noveria so damn fast?
Wait, aren't you going to take off your stupid-ass kimono first?
You know, if you hadn't been acting like such a dickweed this whole time, I'd probably not be thinking of the fact that I'm sensing latent homophobia there...
Normally, I'd talk about this being bad tactics, but I don't give a crap because using the Stu as a meat shield just increases his chances of dying and thus makes it more likely that I won't have to put up with this bullshit any longer than I already am.
Hey, wait, weren't you going to try to heal Joker, you damn pillock?